More about the open door later!

Last summer, I finally acquired enough courage and came out to my wife who I suspected had her suspicions over the years in regards to my secret of cross dressing. A couple of years ago, she found a receipt for the first dress I had ever bought! However, she never said anything about it!  Before telling her, I was so wound up and apprehensive. In fact, I can admit I was scared stiff!

We have been together for over 35 years and I was so worried this revelation could very well end it all!  So, while shaking like a leaf, I found an opportunity to come out of my closet and out I came!  After a couple of hours of talking, intersected with a lot of long pauses, she confirmed she had had her suspicions of my cross dressing for quite a long time. She also told me she had done a lot of research and reassured me that she now understood a lot about the subject of cross dressing and wasn’t about to leave me because of it.

Since the day of me coming out, rather than talk more openly about my crossdressing, it never got mentioned again which was probably due to my reluctance to bring the subject up. That is, until a couple of weeks ago. We were chatting about our New Year’s resolutions and she asked what mine were and after listing the normal ones like sort out the garage, paint the house, do more exercise etc. I just dropped in (from nowhere) that I wanted to find the courage to be more open about “the other me”.

I could hardly believe my wife’s reaction which was incredible!  She said “well, let’s talk now” so we did! It turned out she’d been waiting all this time for me to say something as she didn’t want to put me under any pressure by starting the conversation.  We talked about many things and about what would be acceptable to both of us.

She said that although she accepted Stephanie was an important part of me, she felt at this time she didn’t want to meet her personally. However, she would make sure I had more time alone to be Stephanie. I also mentioned that I hated hiding my “stuff” away in the garage as it made it feel like a dirty secret!  To my surprise, she suggested that I move it into my own wardrobe.  I can’t express how this made me feel! In addition to me blushing, I was also speechless!

So back to the title of this article – metaphorically speaking the door is my closet door which I have been hiding behind for around 45 years. Now, I’m standing here with it wide open and I’m looking out with mixed feelings. When I say mixed, what I really mean is that I feel Stephanie has been let off an invisible leash! Now she’s finally free to go out into this brave new world. I’m also feeling like a child in a sweet (candy) shop who’s been told they can have anything they want!

It is now time for Stephanie to step through that door to meet whatever life has in store for her! This has been such an incredible start to 2020! I would love to give thanks to you all you wonderful ladies at CDH. Without your kind friendship and support over the last year, I would never have had the courage to open my door!

With Sincere Love,  Stephanie xoxo

Thank all of you CDH readers who took time out of your day or night to read my article! And now, if you would have a few extra minutes, please feel free to respond to any of the questions I’ve listed below:

  • Have you girls come out of the closet to your wife or SO? If so, how did “The Talk” go?
  • Was your wife or SO accepting of your thrill of cross dressing or not accepting at all?
  • If your wife or SO was accepting, what are the limits she has placed on your cross dressing, if any at all?


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Stephanie Aston

28/01/2021 update Last year started with me coming out to my wife, at the time it was very stressful but she has accepted that Stephanie is a real part of me, although she’s not yet ready to meet Stephanie yet! I’m hopeful this may change in the future. Oh! and my kids (23 & 20) took the news pretty much without the blink of an eye. COVID meant that I spent most of last year on furlough and unfortunately it also cost me my job so I am now sort of unemployed or semi retired (I don’t know which) but with this extra time I now have I’m hoping for a lot more Stephanie time especially once our COVID Lockdowns start to be eased! On a brighter note, they say “every cloud has a silver lining” well for me one big plus was that between furloughs and lockdowns last year I managed to lose over 45lbs in weight which has really made a difference to my (and Stephanie’s) health and well-being. I’m always happy to chat so ping me a msg anytime. Love you All and take care Stephanie xx

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Annie Potts
1 year ago

Stephanie, I am sooooi happy for you sweetie. You and I are so much alike and hope I can draw from your story and your strength. I am coming closer and closer to telling my wife. We too have been married for close to 40 years. I have been dressing all of that time but more in the last year and a half. It’s a part of me that I no longer wish to hide. I too feel as if it’s a “dirty little secret” when I have to put Annie back in her metaphorical closet and hide all of… Read more »

Annie Potts' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
Annie Potts
1 year ago

Hey Sis….so glad to hear from you. I can’t image the loss of a sibling. Prayers to you. Wish there was some way to help. Huggs sweetie. Btw. I loved your article. So well written. Would love to talk to you more. Till later. Hugggs sweetie.

Love. Annie

Amanda Woods
1 year ago

So happy for you, you are very pretty, just about a month ago I was able to go out in public as Amanda and it felt wonderful, still need to work on my looks and fashion, but my wife who is amazing has been supportive throughout this process, I will have to say I am one lucky girl. Enjoy and stay beautiful!

Melissa Davis
1 year ago

Stephanie, you are very lucky. Married crossdressers I know who have come out often find an accommodation. It’s not surprising that a wife has no interest in seeing a husband en femme. But with luck a realistic wife may be thinking to herself, “At least he doesn’t play golf all weekend or spend days at a time fishing with his buddies.”

1 year ago

Such a fabulous, life-affirming story! I am SO HAPPY for you. To respond to your questions, not so good here. My wife and I have had a few mini-“talks” over the years. She has accepted and allows me to wear panties daily, but does not accept anything beyond that. So, my things remain hidden wherever I can find space.

Olivia Livin
Active Member
1 year ago

Thats wonderful Stephanie,
The liberation we feel when having our secret revealed to our partners is fantastic. It isn’t always accepted but the burden of not being honest has been lifted, we then at least know where we stand and can make decisions moving forward.
The initial conversation was harder in my mind than in life and I’m so glad I did it. I have blossomed since then with few restrictions and with open, honest communication regarding both of our feelings towards it.
Liv On

Charlotte Bristol
1 year ago

Hi Stephanie, nice to hear things are working out for you. I consider myself one of the very lucky ones, my wife is very understanding and is happy with me dressing. She even comes with me to a local transgender support group here in Bristol, which is a nice social. She’s fine with me dressing at home, but just not with my wig in a home setting. It’s such a shame that people have to live in secrecy. Personally it has improved our relationship massively, we go clothes/makeup/jewellery shopping together now, and have so much more to talk about and… Read more »

Michelle Stephens
1 year ago

Hi Stephanie!
Yes it is good to take it slow with your wife! In time she will be curious and want to go further with your relationship! I have some friends that it took time for me to share with and it took them some time to accept me totally! But in the long run I found that letting others accept things in their own time is best! Keep dressing up when you can and practice your makeup when possible so that you are ready for your “public debut”! Blessings to you, be safe and take care!

Noble Member
1 year ago

32 Likes and 17 responses – off the chain girl friend! Congratulations Stephanie!
XOXOXO Scarlett

Gail Rich
1 year ago

Lots of questions. Was I gay? How far did I want to go? Did I want to be a woman? After a while things started to settle down. She has made it clear that she does not want to see me in a dress. She does not want me to shave body hair. It is OK if I sleep in a nightgown and panties. She is OK if I underdress in bra and panties, as long as I present male when I go outside. I sometimes wear a bra, panties, pantyhose and a slip, under one of my male nightshirts… Read more »

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