It occurred to me this week, that so few people can really understand my reasons for choosing to live the way I do! Even more so, on the subject of surgery (SRS). The latter being quite a dramatic and extreme choice that encouraged some to tell me that, it will not change who I a...
Transcendence to the self What has flying got to do with self-acceptance? And does acceptance come in two parts? You might think it very strange to pose these two questions? If you can manage to read through and get to the end, I’ll try my best to answer these questions fro...
It wasn’t until I was into my 30 something stage of life that this paradox became an understanding of a truth for me. You see, most of my life to this point had been a steep downward helix of codependent behaviors and drama; I so desperately wanted to be loved and treated with ...
The untold story of Lily-Rose Hi, all lovely ladies at Crossdresser Heaven. I’ve only been a member for a short time. I’ve been learning so much about myself. I’ve never considered myself being transgender, until now, even though I’ve been transgender all my life. Now I...
I am not sure what I really want to say here. I’m at a crossroads (no pun intended) in my life. Up until about two weeks ago, I hadn’t dressed in many months. I am not out in the world as Candy; she is someone I privately dress up as and for myself. So far, I have had a week ...
I’ve been meaning to write an article for some time now. But the moment I try to write something, it just goes out of the window, and I’m left staring at the wall or a blank screen, trying to catch the proverbial train that just left the station. On the other hand, standi...
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and how it changed my life Let me start by defining Fear: Fear is an emotion and as such can be controlled. It can exist at many levels with varying degrees of effect on our lives and how we behave. It could sit quietly in the background until the switch is flipped by a visual, a...
This article is inspired by a reply I wrote in a thread. I stopped having two personas years ago and now I’m just me. So when I say “we” I’m talking about how I was before. Most of us grew up with the notion that some ways of thinking and acting are solidl...
Ellie’s Story My earliest recollection of wearing women’s clothing was when I was a young child of 5 or 6. My family was on vacation in Minnesota vising my Aunts, Uncle, cousins and others. I got into my mom’s suitcase and put on a bra and girdle then paraded around in the ...
I’ve been surprised in recent years to find myself fancying a belief in reincarnation. This is a remarkable admission from a girl who has long been little more than amused by the half-baked ideas of the alternative, new age, occult, and various other pop-cosmologies. Even my sp...
To continue, 2018 began with me being in a state of limbo, so to speak. I was caught between dueling personalities. One existed solely because of the fear that my world would fall apart if anyone found out about the other. And that other one was giving me increasing amounts of...
In my two previous articles I wrote about my earliest recollections of my own feminine self-awareness. As is the vast majority of our collective experience, our feminine self-awareness is denied, suppressed, experimented with, etc. Some embrace their femme self early in life, oth...
I was shy about it at first. I was adopted; my birth mother mom gave me up for adoption, though I did reunite with her the day before Christmas when I was 15. It was a usual story; she gave birth to me and said she couldn’t take care of me. I understand this and wasn’...
The year of the Phoenix, 2018; it was the absolute worst year of my life, and yet, the most wondrous year of my life. The year rang in amongst a chaos of emotions throughout my life at that time. My egg cracked years before, and I was still trying to decipher the fallout while...
Editor’s note: I invited Stephanie, who is one of our contributing members on Transgender Heaven, to share her story here. So many of us are caught between worlds, not knowing where we fit, or even if there is a term to describe us. I’m most definitely one. I te...
How do you tell people that you’re somewhere on the transgender spectrum? Is there a system that works better than others? This is one with which I’ve grown comfortable. Tell me what you think. I had posted a topic in CDH describing my experience as I went to a busine...
Hey ladies I am going to share by recounting my journey. I was the scared, little girl who would never talk about dressing or being bigender. I started dressing in the mid 1980’s when I was 25. I got a blue knit pantsuit from Lane Bryan and breast forms from a catalog. I do...
Dating Girls as a Girl: What Is Different?
Conflicting feelings about sexual identification and cross dressing 37 At an outdoor music event where I was in guy mode, flying solo, I noticed a couple consisting of a young man and lady walk on to the lawn and pause. The guy stops, puts his hands on his hips and looks around to assess the situation. The woman stops, watches the guy for a second, ...
I’ve been trying to formulate this article for awhile now. It’s not easy when you have a blank screen in front of you. What do I want to say; do I want to pass on some wisdom from what I have learned—I don’t know. What you take from my story is up to you...
The Thoughts of Youth Today I’ve had a down day and felt inspired to write a little. I put on the movie “In the Bedroom”, Todd Field’s beautiful and painful portrait of a couple dealing with the loss of their son. In one scene, a friend of the protagonist (played by the w...
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Nobody really understands April 18, 2021 It occurred to me this week, that so few people can really understand my reasons for choosing to live the way I do! Even more so, on the subject of surgery (SRS). The latter being quite a dramatic and extreme choice that encouraged some to tell me that, it will not change who I a...
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A Few Changes in Our Family April 15, 2021 With gratitude we share a few changes to our Crossdresser Heaven family.
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Domesti(Caty)ed April 15, 2021 Dear ‘ol’ Ms. Catherine Louise Ryan can hardly believe her luck. Two lovely dressing sessions within a week. The only drawback being they were both at home, so no time to use any make up. Hence the mask in all the photos The first was last Wednesday, when my beloved was out a...
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