Have you ever experienced a time during your crossdressing where you just stop? If you are like me I usually can’t wait to get home from work and open that closet and pick out some pretty things to wear. The past few days I have arrived home, gone to the closet, and felt nothing. I slowly closed the door, and kept my male clothes on, and got really depressed. Why? I don’t know. Two days went by, still the same result. Did Jesse leave? Did she abandon her life and move on? This has happened only twice in the 17 years I have been crossdressing. I began to get scared that the thrill, the feeling, the female inside me was dying. The more I mulled it over, the worse I felt. I guess the point I’m trying to make is I think sometimes you go as far as you can go in your personal life with your Fem side, and then you hit That Brick Wall as I have. I have all the pretty things I need to dress, have been out in public several times, SO… what’s next?
I guess I will have to wait for that answer. Life has it’s ups and downs, and I guess this just one of those hurdles I must jump over. Thank goodness Jesse has returned in my heart for now, and we will continue the journey.
Love,
JESSE
We all hit plateaus in life, cross dressing is no exception! Wonderful article Jesse!
Jesse know just how you feel Girl, been that way wit me for more than 47 years. Off and on, get lots of girl things and then I cross dress for a few weeks and just stop feeling Scared, embarrassed. And then I get rid of all my girls things. A Few mouths go bye and I have the need to cross Dress and start all over. but last year I got so Sick I almost Died, from that time on I have just wanted to bring out more and more of Miss Jenny. I feel so much better as… Read more »
Jesse there are opposite sin all things in life highs and lows, easy and tough and then rough and smooth. Whatever this is you can get through it hun.
JEsse, I know how you feel-there were many times in my married life when I felt that way an even since then , the desires to dress and express Cynthia do ebb and flow-or perhaps more so in my case the STRENGTH of the desire waxes and wanes. At my age it never seems to go away and in general has increased to the point where I feel distress if I CAN’T dress everyday. I of course at this point am questioning whether the dressing is the end of m journey or merely a stop along the way to becoming… Read more »
Great article, has familiarity
good article Jesse and a lot of good comments. In my earlier years when I was still trying to be the male/father/husband i was supposed to be, I had very long periods of time when I did not dress. Although I tried my wife’s clothes on, I was always afraid of losing the things important to me. Wife, friends, etc. In the end I lost them all anyway but there were long times when I did not feel the need to be dressed. It is interesting to note that in times of increased stress, dressing was my safety valve as… Read more »
Jesse, great article. Like others have said we all go through periods of time feeling like that.
I’ve had many times through the years that I just didn’t feel like dressing.
But somehow just knowing the boxes of girl stuff were still in the closet made me
feel ok. I knew she could return when the mood hit me again.
That’s why I would urge others to think twice about purging your femme items
when you hit one of these times that you just don’t feel like it.
Hugs…
Like anything else in our lives, moods effect everything we do. As Samantha says, just don’t purge when the mood is low, simply put the stuff away when you can find it when the wheel turns.
The last time I felt the urge to purge it was my wife who talked me out of it. “You know the feeling won’t go away so it’d just be a waste." Damn, she’s smart.
Great article Jesse, it has happened to me before now , but the woman inside me always returns. She is now stronger than ever , she now has a name a character and a real presence. People talk of Sally as a real person, which of course she is and she is winning the battle to be totally accepted and loved. She is a big part of my life and I love her dearly. I couldn’t be without her now. Don’t worry what your feeling many of us have gone through. It will pass I promise you and you will… Read more »
Thanks for sharing, Jesse. I’ve gone through long periods of suppressing the desire to dress. Recently a light turned on in my head and I decided embracing my feminine side was important to me and so now I’m getting to more fully know who Renee is. I’ve been underdressing every day, so when I get private time (I’m not yet out to my wife, but hope to be), I don’t always feel the need to get fully dressed up. Being part of the community on CDH allows me to live as Renee whether I’m fully dressed or not. I hope… Read more »