Most of us dress for the first time with clothing from relatives, a significant other, or wherever we can get a piece of clothing discretely for the first time. But there comes a time when both the need, for a completely personal wardrobe and the desire for one, arises.

You can purchase from the comfort of your home online and have it delivered.  Alternatively, you can go to a shop with a female friend to help with measurements and to help avoid any potential embarrassment at the counter if you are not ready yet to look at the face of the cashier and have your eyes say, “I will make this dress look even better on me than on the mannequin in the display.”  It takes a while to get there (and I am not there yet myself).

We are constantly afraid of judgment by other customers or the staff working at a store.  We also may be afraid of the very small risk of being seen by someone we are not ready to allow to know that part of us. Lucky for me, it has not happened yet. Luck, however, can only be on your side for so long. There comes a time when you have to start relying on your confidence. Remember that you are doing this for your own well being. Ideally, you should just not care about what others may or may not think about it as long as you are being respectful.

I have gathered enough confidence to go shopping without being too self-conscious about it, at least until a fated Friday some weeks ago. 

Crossdresser Superstore

First, a little bit about myself. I had recently moved to New Zealand and the only clothes that I had with me in my luggage were men’s clothes. The few times I’ve gone to purchase female clothing, I haven’t had meaningful glances of disapproval nor any fingers pointed or anything of that sort. Though it has happened that the cashiers sometimes look slightly nervous when they finally realize that the clothes are for me. When shopping, I have always gone as a man and not as a woman.

So after arriving in New Zealand, I went shopping.  First I purchased some dresses from second-hand shops.  Then I went to a general store for some footwear; I bought a pair of size 10 ballet flats and a pair of size 11 heels. These are the first heels I have ever owned.  I also purchased a bra and panty set and some pantyhose.  

I do have the confidence to browse and purchase clothes, but not when children are around.  For instance, I really wanted to get some makeup but the aisle with makeup had a mother and her two daughters who were slightly under 10 years old, so I was not able to accomplish that part. I decided to finish my shopping for the day, so I headed to the register since I had already picked up the main items on my list. I was unlucky enough that the lady in front of me was having problems with her bank card being recognized by the system, and a small girl (about 7 years old) was barraging the cashier with non-stop questions. After some minutes waiting for the hassle with the previous customer to end, I was finally able to start passing my items through, then… it happened; that moment we all fear.

The little girl asked the cashier “Why is he buying girl’s clothes?”. 

Join Our Community-cdh

What I had feared the most happened. I always felt anxious when imagining how would I feel whenever that time would come, hearing someone directly ask and question my actions that encourage the existence of Laura. I have always thought my world would come crashing down, or that I’d get red as a tomato, or that I would just bolt out of the store, but none of those things happened.

The cashier stood there, pale, staring at the child with a panicked face, then smiling at me nervously, and looking back at the little girl once again. I just gave the child a warm smile, her question was an honest one, and you can’t blame anyone for being curious, especially a child. The little girl then looked down at the floor, then up again and said to the cashier “I guess this is one of those ‘it’s none of yo’ situations”. The cashier relaxed a bit, I paid and left slightly nervous.

I survived the ordeal, it was not as bad as I thought it would be, but nonetheless, it still had repercussions. Next time I went to get some clothes, I went to a store where you could scan your own items…in another city.  In hindsight, I should not have done that.  I feel Laura took several steps back from what she had achieved so far.

It’s hard to get some confidence, and it’s easy to have the little confidence you have in yourself shaken. Sometimes you just have to push through, and if possible, deal with the aftermath’s internal turmoil better than I have.

Your friend,
Laura

EnFemme

More Articles by cdheaven

View all articles by cdheavenTags:
0 0 votes
Article Rating
43 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Rochelle Mooney
Member
Rochelle Mooney
6 years ago

I Love telling people the clothes are for me. But then again I like the looks on their faces.

Leonara
Ambassador
Trusted Member
6 years ago

Laura- I have been buying clothes in drab for my wife for the 47 years that we have been married. Within the last 10 years, I have had the chance to buy clothes for Leonara..my wife is an 8 petite and Leonara size 10… sales associate said nothing but commented on how nice the garments were… it made me feel special..

Sarah Daniels TG
Sarah Daniels TG
6 years ago

Yay another Girl from NZ.

Lovely story.

Charlize
6 years ago

Your story is very interesting and resonates with me. I just today went to the big supercenter in my guy clothes and decided it was time to purchase a better-fitting top and pants, as well as a pair of wedge sandals. I needed to make sure the top fit me, and I said to myself “this is the 21st century; I should be able to take these to the mens fitting room like I would men’s clothes — it’s just clothes." It was around 8 in the evening and the clothing section was not very busy but I had to… Read more »

Sara Marie Franklin (SMF)
Lady
Active Member

Laura Thank you so much for a great article. I think many of use have had times like that we are very nervous or scared to purchase an Item. I am very similar to Leonara in the fact that I have been buying things for my wife even before we were married panties and the like and the sales clerics have seen all kinds of thing so they think nothing of it. As of late I just walk in and purchase the item and if they start to look oddly I come back with a statement like can this be… Read more »

Casey Summer
Casey Summer
6 years ago

Laura, thanks for the article and good thing you maintained your cool and acceptance of yourself. I’ve done a mix, being married it’s easy telling anyone the items are for my wife and in a different occasion I did tell them the items were for me, they were very open and helpful.

Anne Green
Anne Green
6 years ago

I think the suggestion to try and visit the shops at the quietest time is so true. I find it’s great to break the ice with assitants as soon as I go in the shop. I say hello or ask for their advise before I start browsing and smile. When I go to check out they never ask (even though they know LOL). I love it when they compliment my choice in clothing. Makes it feel even more special.

Holly Bancroft
Lady
6 years ago

I have bought things in person in the past, they were normally “for my girlfriend" and I am sure people saw through the bad excuse. While most of my purchases are done along because of cost and ease of delivery, I did buy some thigh high boots in person a few months ago. Yes it is was in Sydney and yes it was in the “gay district" at shop that caters for strippers amongst other things, but to walk into the store, tell the middle-aged man I was after a pair of thigh high boots and try on several pairs… Read more »

Stephanie York
Lady
Member
6 years ago

My first purchase of feminine attire for myself was at a Target. I just wanted to get through the checkout quickly. It was around Valentine’s day. I picked out a lovely red Baby doll nightie and a matching set of panties. The person ahead of me bought quite a few items. There was some type of problem with the register. The cashier had to take everything out and scan all the items again. Those minutes seemed like hours. When she finally got to me I was flustered. The cashier did not seem to notice or care.

Susancd47' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
Susancd47
6 years ago

I shop all the time for anything and everything the people can just wonder but no one ever has said anything as to if it is for me or another woman I know my size and can always return the only thing I have not done yet is asked if I can try in dress or blouse

43
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

Forgot your details?