As much as this lifestyle is full of angst and anxieties, it can also be wonderful, exciting, and full of “Holy *%$#” moments. Can you imagine a television show like “America’s Funniest Videos” dedicated to all those moments of panic-stricken, hilarious mishaps, missteps, and running for your life when you are about to get caught, crossdressing escapades?

How many of us have done things for the sake of our fixation that we wouldn’t have done otherwise? I’m guilty…big time. I’ve had some close moments, scary ones, and each one laughable as I look back. I’m not sure if my mother was naïve or just not willing to “go there” when I was in my adolescence. She had a dress mannequin (The bust on a stand) for making clothes for my sister and her. I used her makeup on the Styrofoam head and put it in my sister’s room (she is 8 years older than me) complete with a long dress and shoes poking out. I was 10 at the time and infatuated with my sister’s clothes.

I even put a bra on the mannequin. My explanation was that I was trying to scare my mean sister. Later, in Jr. high, I got my friends to do a “Vampire Short” for my media presentation. I had my male friend dress in my sister’s clothes and wig to play the girl…I was the director, and very jealous. He looked really, really good. I got an A. In High school, my friend in the neighborhood had a divorced mother who liked to look good. She had a closet full of beautiful, silky dresses and pantyhose. I got to take care of their dog when they were gone, and I tried on every one of those dresses…even (I’m ashamed to say) nabbing two and bringing them home…stupidly putting them in my closet. I didn’t think my mother would snoop in there…she did.  

I confessed…it was my friend’s fault. He wanted to run away and was going to hide out in disguise, so I was keeping them for him. Mom only told me to give them back. Did she, or does she know?

Crossdresser Superstore

I used to hide a wig, pantyhose, a bra, and panties in a gym bag along with some other confiscated dresses and shoes. I had a tent set up across from my house on an island (grew up by a river). I could dress and hang out in the tent during one summer…until someone came along and found the bag. It was a neighbor scoping out potential deer stand placement. They took it to the police as it might be the clothes of a missing girl from a few years back. Luckily, nothing ever came from it. If there was gossip in our neighborhood, I never heard it.

The early years of marriage were an adventure in stealth. I’ve only been caught twice (You can read about what happened to me in my other articles). My ex went to work, I was home for the day, and I wanted to try on her prom dress. I could only zip it halfway and she came home to catch me. I ran to the bedroom and took it off but had to confess. From then on, I was much more careful as I solemnly swore to never, ever do it again. I hid a pair of high heels inside my workbench or in my golf bag. The shoes were a purchase that I had to have. I walked by them in a mall multiple times before mustering the courage to buy them. They were a size 10…I wear a 13, and I made them fit until I broke a heel and had to throw them away.

I was riding my bike and happened to pass by a car. The windows were down and in the backseat was a pair of clogs and a purple dress. Yep, I eventually nabbed them and neither of them came close to fitting. I always wondered what the girl must have thought. All those things that we can’t stop ourselves from doing to feed the need that burns in us. Thankfully, I saw the light and have made amends by donating thousands of dollars of clothing and accessories to thrift stores…much of which I wish I still had…Damn those purges.

Some of the more humorous moments… I once got “STUCK” inside a dress that was way, too small. My arm was pinned, the dress cutting off my air, and panic taking charge. I danced…more like flayed across the room trying to get it off. I couldn’t see and knocked a valuable knickknack off the shelf, fell on the floor, and couldn’t get back up. It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes at most, but it felt like forever until the seam gave way and I burst forth like the Hulk. I paid $2.00 for that dress at a garage sale. It would be years before I understood my size and that I wasn’t a pretty and petite girl.

En Femme Style

I tried to run in spiked heels once when the dog started barking and the doorbell rang. I severely twisted my ankle and had to crawl to the safety of the bedroom. To make matters worse, I also popped a blood vessel on my finger, the one wearing my ex’s ring. I barely managed to get it off, and not without some major pain. The ankle became one of those “lies” we tell to cover up. I fell down the stairs, oh clumsy me. Okay, I did actually fall down the stairs once wearing heels. I was lucky not to have been hurt. 

I was once asked if I had been wearing mascara because of how dark my eyes were. “Nope, had a bad night sleeping.” I’ve split more skirts and dresses trying to fit into the wrong size, broke straps on shoes, spilled all the birdseed out of my homemade nylon boobs–everywhere, scrubbed my lips raw to get off a staining lipstick, deodorized the house after using a strong scented perfume, forgot to put jewelry away and tried to ignore it while talking to someone (hoping they don’t notice it or my anxiety), dove for cover on the floor behind a couch when the nosy neighbor knocked on the door and looked through the living room window, lost an artificial nail and spent hours looking for it so no one else finds it (was inside my pantyhose), lost a bracelet and couldn’t find it, got mascara in my eyes, (cold crème too), put a run in the ex’s pantyhose and stained her dress with her own lipstick.

The list is endless…and priceless. Like women and girls, we have to learn from our mistakes. I found better hiding places, learned how to apply makeup, do spot treatments on garments, buy the right sizes, and eventually come to terms with who I really was and am. I’m more than a crossdresser and I deserve to be happy and content in that acknowledgment. Not me, and not everyone can be “Out”, so we have to find our own particular balance, our own means to survive.

I’d love to hear some of your stories. God knows we could all use a little laughter.

Be safe, be kind, and may you find a closet that is large enough to hold your wishes and one with good lighting…


Until next time….

More Articles by Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish

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Jessica Slims
1 year ago

Brina… thanks for your wonderful stories, they really takes me back to the times when I first started my CDing adventures,and all of my CLOSE CALLS, If I were to try and write about all of my memorable expirences, I’d probably end up blowing my phone up
LOL… Just wanted to say THANK YOU-
SOOO MUCH-for sharing yours-❤️-


Active Member
1 year ago

Absolutely love Reading this kinda article it’s so awesome. Keep on giving us girls the stuff we love to read. Hugs x

Tara Jeane
Active Member
1 year ago

Brina, you are HILARIOUS! I love your writing style! Thanks, as always, for continuing to provide content for us to enjoy! I’ve posted about all of my run ins except one VERY close call with my wife (who knows I wear some female leggings and slip-on shoes, but has no idea, I don’t think, regarding the extent of my crossdressing/transness). On the weekends, she goes outside in the morning and is usually out there for hours. Because of this, very often, I go pick up breakfast en femme. A few weeks ago, I decided to really go all out with… Read more »

Rhonda Lee
1 year ago

I have more stories than I can relate, especially technology gaffs which have outed me. On more than one occasion my screen saver has posted photos, one after another, of whatever files can be shown this way. As many of my photos are Rhonda photos (in early days, before I bought dresses and had only lingerie), it is not uncommon for someone to walk up behind me and see me in a swimsuit, ballgown, or other outfit. I’m sure when I have to repair the PC I put on a show for whomever may be working on it, and no… Read more »

1 year ago

One of my favorite close call moments happened with work. I work as a trainer and before Covid hit I was in the office in front of a class. However, if it was a virtual class we were allowed to work from home. I relished these classes as it gave me a chance to get all dressed up and no one at work would be the wiser. I was assigned to be the producer for a Spanish speaking class. This meant I monitored the chat and assisted the trainer. The day of the class I logged into the class and… Read more »

Lacy Satin
1 year ago

Loved your story! OMG… the stories we all could tell. Getting caught is so embarrassing at the time but quite funny when you look back on them. I’ve been caught so many times I really wonder why I still try so hard to keep it a secret. One Sunday afternoon nobody was home so I decided to hang out by the pool wearing one of my summer dresses. A big storm came up and I was sitting in the screen house waiting for it to pass, it only got worse. I decided I should run for the house but I… Read more »

Lacy Satin
1 year ago

I really feel most people don’t really care, they have more personal things to deal with than thinking about catching us wearing women’s clothes.

I look at it this way… We all know our parents have sex but do we spend any time thinking about it? It’s not something I want to spend any time thinking about or trying to visualize. I think it’s the same thing if a friend finds out you like to crossdress. Out of sight, out of mind.

Bree Heath
Active Member
1 year ago

Brina Thank you for sharing. Your articles are great. This one reminded me of an incident I had with my ex. I had bought myself a Very lacy garter teddy that I enjoyed underdressing with. Somehow, my ex found this item and confronted me with it. It took a little convincing but I swore it was her that I had bought it for…. to spice up our relationship. She wore it once then decided it wasn’t her style. It hung in the closet unused for years. I somehow managed to get it in the divorce. She got one of my… Read more »

Last edited 1 year ago by Bree Heath
Terri Francis
1 year ago

I have my own stories staring when I was babysitting at the house across the street and they came home early. I was 13. I’m 74 now. Sitting on a beach in my best girls outfit. And I got hit on today

Carla Roberts
1 year ago

I can relate completely to your experiences. Like all of us, I have several memorable “Close calls” and “Near misses” during my CDing adventures. Most weren’t nearly as frightening or scary as I viewed them at the time, but yet each one served to provide a learning experience toward future mishaps. Of all my “Close calls” two were especially memorable, one due to hurriedly trying to get out the door for a while. The most frightening experience came from being a bit over confident in my ability to pass and freely present in public. I had recently attended a CDing… Read more »

Daisy Marie
Active Member
1 year ago

Thank you for the funny story, Brina. Despite the fact I’ve never been out and about dressed as a girl, I have some stories to tell. When I purchased clothes, in most of the cases I didn’t feel comfortable to try them before purchasing, so I guessed which size would fit on me. Needless to say, some clothes were too tight for me (bras and shorts), others were too big (pantyhoses), but in the end I learned a lot about my own body and how to figure out the best fit for me. Other stories I have to tell, with… Read more »

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