I started Crossdressing in my teenage years. I would sneak into Mum’s room when she was not home and try on some clothes; loved the feel of Satin and Silk clothes.
This Continued when I moved out of home, but I am ashamed to say (now) that when I lived with female flat mates, I would go into their rooms to see what clothes they had, and if they fit I would try them on…(back then the temptation was too great.)
When I did not have female flat mates, I would have one or two articles of women’s clothing hidden in my room that would come out from time to time. Although they felt good to wear, it was more of sexual fetish.
Fast forward:11 years ago I married my wife. She was from another country; it was easy to keep my secret as she did not arrive here until two months before our wedding.
I kept my secret for the next 10 years, but the thrill of having so many women’s clothes in the house accelerated my crossdressing desires. I was always fearful I would get caught. Maybe I would not put something back in the correct place or stretch something that I had tried on. If caught, I would have to come clean about my crossdressing. Once, when I left something on the floor of our wardrobe that should have gone back into one of her drawers, I panicked and blamed the kids for it when she asked how it came to be there.
I took every chance possible to wear her panties and bras when I was home alone or even when it was just me the kids. From time to time, I would try on some of her other clothes, but we are quite different sizes, so there were few clothes that I could fit into.
It became clear to me that I needed to own up to my crossdressing before I got caught. I was so scared that I looked for help online. I managed to find someone who helped put my mind at ease. They shared there are many ways she could react rather than only deciding it would be the end of our marriage. Very Scary time!!
One school holiday, when the kids were at my Mum’s house, I came clean to my wife. I was so nervous about what her reaction was going to be. She sat down and listened to what I had to say. She took her time to absorb what I had just told her. She started crying, not because of what I had told her but because her first thought was that I was having an affair!
Once she gathered herself, she said they were just clothes and she was willing to try to adjust to what I wanted. I assured her I was not gay, nor did I want to live as a woman fulltime. I just found the experience of wearing women’s clothes exciting, and it made me feel alive and upbeat. Even today, on a bad day, I still feel better once I have some nice clothes on. We talked about what clothes I liked and didn’t like. She was surprised with some of my answers. For example, women’s shoes don’t generally interest me, but women’s boots do. I find them very exciting!
The next week was rough, Although I had been given the green light to dress up, she did not realise that I would do so every chance I got. Once the kids were in bed I would put on a skirt and top and sit and relax before going to bed. One night she made some comments about how silly I looked and asked if I needed to dress up every evening. This caused a bit of bad air between us for the next couple of days as I became a bit sulky. I thought I had been given permission to embrace my secret after been told she would adapt to me wearing women’s clothes. In hindsight, I should have eased into it, but I jumped full in straight away.
We are lucky parents. My Mum takes our kids for one week every school holiday, which allows us to relax after work rather than doing the normal chores when you have kids. When the kids are away, we normally take a night for ourselves and go out for dinner and come home for a few drinks. We find this time an opportunity to be more open with each other. This particular night, we had a good session discussing my crossdressing. She admitted to me that she also had a secret she wanted to share with me. She had been smoking from time to time. Given how she knew that it was something that I thoroughly disliked in any form, it was quite a surprise to me.
We made a trade; I would be allowed to crossdress when the kids were not here or had gone to bed and she would be allowed to have a smoke whenever she wanted. How could I refuse such an offer? As much as I do not like cigarettes and everything that goes with it, for me to be able to crossdress in my own house and for her to have something she wanted, it felt like a fair trade.
This is how we live our lives. The kids go to sleep and I get dressed up and she goes out for a cigarette.
I have a wardrobe, which has evolved over the last year from clothes that just fit me to clothes that are more my style and suit different combinations. She told me about the bargains that can be found in Op Shops. It is amazing some of the nice clothes you can pick up for bargain prices. As I got to understand my sizing in women’s clothes, I managed to purchase items that fit me better. The first half year after coming clean to my wife, I purchased anything that I thought would fit, just so I could get in and out of the shops quickly. Now I spend a bit more time judging the size, design, and fabric before deciding. I am pickier now.
A year into my crossdressing and I’m still learning and adapting my style from head to toe. The more I understand and become more comfortable with everything I learn about crossdressing and myself, the better I’ll get at perfecting my look.
Thank goodness there are sites like this one, which allow us all to come together and learn from each other’s experiences.