I started Crossdressing in my teenage years. I would sneak into Mum’s room when she was not home and try on some clothes; loved the feel of Satin and Silk clothes.

This Continued when I moved out of home, but I am ashamed to say (now) that when I lived with female flat mates, I would go into their rooms to see what clothes they had, and if they fit I would try them on…(back then the temptation was too great.)

When I did not have female flat mates, I would have one or two articles of women’s clothing hidden in my room that would come out from time to time. Although they felt good to wear, it was more of sexual fetish.

Visit Transgender Heaven

Fast forward:11 years ago I married my wife. She was from another country; it was easy to keep my secret as she did not arrive here until two months before our wedding.

I kept my secret for the next 10 years, but the thrill of having so many women’s clothes in the house accelerated my crossdressing desires. I was always fearful I would get caught. Maybe I would not put something back in the correct place or stretch something that I had tried on. If caught, I would have to come clean about my crossdressing. Once, when I left something on the floor of our wardrobe that should have gone back into one of her drawers, I panicked and blamed the kids for it when she asked how it came to be there.

I took every chance possible to wear her panties and bras when I was home alone or even when it was just me the kids. From time to time, I would try on some of her other clothes, but we are quite different sizes, so there were few clothes that I could fit into.

It became clear to me that I needed to own up to my crossdressing before I got caught. I was so scared that I looked for help online. I managed to find someone who helped put my mind at ease. They shared there are many ways she could react rather than only deciding it would be the end of our marriage. Very Scary time!!

One school holiday, when the kids were at my Mum’s house, I came clean to my wife. I was so nervous about what her reaction was going to be. She sat down and listened to what I had to say. She took her time to absorb what I had just told her. She started crying, not because of what I had told her but because her first thought was that I was having an affair!

Once she gathered herself, she said they were just clothes and she was willing to try to adjust to what I wanted. I assured her I was not gay, nor did I want to live as a woman fulltime. I just found the experience of wearing women’s clothes exciting, and it made me feel alive and upbeat. Even today, on a bad day, I still feel better once I have some nice clothes on. We talked about what clothes I liked and didn’t like. She was surprised with some of my answers. For example, women’s shoes don’t generally interest me, but women’s boots do. I find them very exciting!

The next week was rough, Although I had been given the green light to dress up, she did not realise that I would do so every chance I got. Once the kids were in bed I would put on a skirt and top and sit and relax before going to bed. One night she made some comments about how silly I looked and asked if I needed to dress up every evening. This caused a bit of bad air between us for the next couple of days as I became a bit sulky. I thought I had been given permission to embrace my secret after been told she would adapt to me wearing women’s clothes. In hindsight, I should have eased into it, but I jumped full in straight away.

Visit Transgender Heaven

We are lucky parents. My Mum takes our kids for one week every school holiday, which allows us to relax after work rather than doing the normal chores when you have kids. When the kids are away, we normally take a night for ourselves and go out for dinner and come home for a few drinks. We find this time an opportunity to be more open with each other. This particular night, we had a good session discussing my crossdressing. She admitted to me that she also had a secret she wanted to share with me. She had been smoking from time to time. Given how she knew that it was something that I thoroughly disliked in any form, it was quite a surprise to me.

We made a trade; I would be allowed to crossdress when the kids were not here or had gone to bed and she would be allowed to have a smoke whenever she wanted. How could I refuse such an offer? As much as I do not like cigarettes and everything that goes with it, for me to be able to crossdress in my own house and for her to have something she wanted, it felt like a fair trade.

This is how we live our lives. The kids go to sleep and I get dressed up and she goes out for a cigarette.

I have a wardrobe, which has evolved over the last year from clothes that just fit me to clothes that are more my style and suit different combinations. She told me about the bargains that can be found in Op Shops. It is amazing some of the nice clothes you can pick up for bargain prices. As I got to understand my sizing in women’s clothes, I managed to purchase items that fit me better. The first half year after coming clean to my wife, I purchased anything that I thought would fit, just so I could get in and out of the shops quickly. Now I spend a bit more time judging the size, design, and fabric before deciding. I am pickier now.

Exceptional Voice

A year into my crossdressing and I’m still learning and adapting my style from head to toe. The more I understand and become more comfortable with everything I learn about crossdressing and myself, the better I’ll get at perfecting my look.

Thank goodness there are sites like this one, which allow us all to come together and learn from each other’s experiences.

 

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Sarah Lane

Told my wife last year my secret and she has been supportive after a short period of getting to understand the reasons behind why I like to wear women’s clothes. My style is forever changing as I get more experienced in finding clothes my size and creating a look. I am interested in talking/meeting other people like me that enjoy cross dressing with a view to being more social dressed up in the future. Also would like to learn more about completing my look by learning from others.

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Amy Myers
Baroness
Trusted Member
Amy Myers (@amylove2dress)
22 days ago

Sarah, what a great story, and thank you for sharing it with us. Interesting trade off. I too dislike smoking entirely, but I would do the same kind of trade off if I was in the same position as you and your wife. I also did much the same as you for a time, I bought all sorts of clothes quickly, without trying them on or knowing if they will fit. Naturally lots of time they didn’t work out. So I am now much pickier in what I buy and of course I understand my sizing much better. I am… Read more »

Amy Myers
Baroness
Trusted Member
Amy Myers (@amylove2dress)
21 days ago
Reply to  Sarah Lane

Telling store staff that’s it’s for you takes a bit of courage, but I also find it is much more relaxing and enlightening being honest.
There was one skirt I still sad about. Midi length, cream coloured with a black lace hem and something similar around the waist, but it was just a bit too small. My wife tried to alter it, but it didn’t work too well, so back to thrift store it went!
Amy

Genevieve
Member
Genevieve (@genevieve)
20 days ago

Hi Sarah… Thank you for sharing your ‘Trade-off’ story… I wonder how many more ‘secrets’ your wife has for you to exploit? I’ve been crossdressing from a very young age. Raided Mother’s panty/bra drawer from time to time. Didn’t have a sister to borrow clothes from. Married when I was 29. As with mom, I raided my wife’s underwear drawer frequently. As a shift worker most of my life, I had plenty of days at home by myself while she was out working. 56 now, and separated, I have my own place and am free to dress up at will.… Read more »

Genevieve
Member
Genevieve (@genevieve)
17 days ago
Reply to  Sarah Lane

A little puppy… naawww… I Love puppies/dogs… had 3 at one time. A Jack Russell Terrier (Jae-R), a Min-Pin (Doby), and a Shih Tzu (Max).

Yes, pupies/dogs are a lot of work… more so than cats (of which I Love also), however the emotional rewards outweigh the effort. In my opinion anyways…

Yup… keep the ‘Puppy’ card in your back pocket…

Pauline Yllonnoc
Member
Pauline Yllonnoc (@pyllonnoc)
20 days ago

Great story, thank you for sharing. I also dress when my kids go to sleep. My wife knows about my dressing. She tolerates it rather than being supportive. Her fear is the kids finding out (there’s been a couple of close calls) . I have a home camera to watch for them getting up unexpectedly. I love those rare times when I have the house completely to myself

Janice Doe
Member
Janice Doe (@janice0460)
20 days ago

Great article and I would give just about anything that might create a trade off that would let me dress openly at home. I came out years ago to my wife and she absolutely hated the idea. She gave me a choice of her or dressing as I wanted to. I love my wife and do not want to leave her, so I decided to crawl back into the closet where I have been for so many years now. It has not been terribly difficult until the pandemic as I now cannot dress at home and have no where to… Read more »

Alexis "Lexi" Moon
Editor
Active Member
Alexis "Lexi" Moon (@alexismoongirl)
19 days ago

This is such a universal experience for us – I can totally relate to the anxiety and guilt of borrowing your wife’s clothes! I’m glad things seem to be moving in the right direction (though hopefully she doesn’t do too crazy with the smoking. Unlike crossdressing, that could legitimately be harmful…).

Vanity Fair
Vanity Fair (@vanityfair63)
19 days ago

Thank you for this article. I can really relate, but I will never tell my wife of my dressing desires. You are one brave and lucky Crossdresser.

Vanity Fair
Vanity Fair (@vanityfair63)
16 days ago
Reply to  Sarah Lane

It would destroy my marriage. I would rather live a secret than break her heart

Vanity Fair
Vanity Fair (@vanityfair63)
16 days ago
Reply to  Sarah Lane

I tried to years ago. It didn’t go over very well so I just do my dressing in private.
You are brave and I admire you for doing it. It must feel so good to finally have that out in the open

Marlie Shyly
Member
Marlie Shyly (@plussizedmarlie)
19 days ago

I’m glad things went better than you thought they might. My question is, has anything changed in your marriage. My wife know I have womens clothes and we have done this dance more times than we should have. She now sleeps in the spare room. We aren’t romantic at all. Why would I stay? Well, I do love her and I love living with my son. But sooner or later, things will come to a head and I hope that she can understand, that’s who I am.
Marlie

Marlie Shyly
Member
Marlie Shyly (@plussizedmarlie)
15 days ago
Reply to  Sarah Lane

Hey Sarah, it is totally the crossdresssing that is the issue. She doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a woman. She has said that if we split up, we will remain friendly and she would give me advice as a friend. But not as a wife. She flat out told me the decision is mine to make. I don’t want to break up our family.

Katie Mitchell
Katie Mitchell (@katie70)
18 days ago

Just wanted to say thank for your story and so happy for you it turned out pretty well in the “trade off”.I think I would give into pretty much anything if my wife let me dress feminine.Its been a long time from I got dressed up unfortunately

Jackie Osborne
Duchess
Jackie Osborne (@jjcountry)
11 days ago

Hi Sarah! just guickly logged in and your awesome profile,story, and everything you mentioned was so right.im right with you girl.ill be getting right back to you after shower and getting all sexy comfortable.

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