The past, not any past, but your past. Was there someone who knew about you, and totally disapproved. Told you negative things about you or even things that were not very nice. The things such as you need counseling, or even left you because you are the way you are. Maybe even got angry with you because you are such a girl. Maybe you even went through a few ladies because no one accepted you for the person that is you.
Such ladies in my life made statement as “it’s just a bad habit”, or another stated how I needed counseling. Maybe there were those ladies who mentioned how it was against all the laws of nature, and even God. Once a family member told me boys, part their hair on the left, and girls on the right. One of my girlfriends even told me how a woman got very ill from the dye of pantyhose because the woman didn’t wear panty’s when she wore pantyhose. I started wearing panties with pantyhose. Yep, she still wasn’t happy. One woman told me “no one would want me this way, and my only option was to be with her.” Where do they get this stuff?
All in all, the total sum of these experiences was what helped me make the decision to just be honest with myself and others because the worry of it all was just too stressful. We are who we are. Those women didn’t and wouldn’t change so why should they expect a person to change. Can we truly help that when we see a cute pair of heels we get excited? The next thought we have is simple, do they have them in my size? These are real thoughts are they not? So, what’s the problem?
Years ago, at a family dinner this aunt was talking about man who was dressed as a woman while waiting for a bus. She went into great detail about the dress, heels, hose, and how he even had a purse. She just wouldn’t let up on the subject. The man wasn’t bothering anyone. Everyone had something negative to say of someone they didn’t know or see. I just sat there eating my dinner in my Sunday best with my panties, and pantyhose on underneath my pants. Surely many of us have had similar experience such as this. What would you say now to anyone from your past about yourself?
Many of us are in a different place now. Let’s say a better place. Would you say “yes, the nylons drying in the bathroom are mine”. What is wrong with pierced ears? Earrings are nice to wear. Maybe you’d tell someone they need a lesson on how to walk in high-heels. Just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean you know how to be in heels.
We probably have these stories in our memories from the past. What are your stories? My mother did not like this part of me and let me know when I told her. She got very angry. Years later as a grown adult she made a comment how young ladies wore flats, or sneakers to the office and changed into heels once in the office because you can’t always walk a long distance in heels. My response was simple. I know mother, but heels are so much prettier, and fun. Then we had some great girl talk. Love you mom.
Thank you girls for taking the time to read my story! I look forward to your comments regarding my story!
Sincerely, Patricia
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Patricia Gil Hernandez
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- Those From Our Past - April 1, 2022
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I know that my mother knew that I was different but we never really came to the point that you and your mother did. Nevertheless, while my mom lacked full understanding she loved me anyway. I’m a little saddened that it took me most of my life to figure it all out. Thank you Patricia for this very moving story, Marg
Your comment and the poster made me wonder whether my mom knew that there was something unique in me for the disposition; how I presented myself to the world; for the things I liked and talked about..I was definitely my own person, right out of the womb, and never followed the boy crowd as a compelling need, or as a matter of principal.This is not to say that I did not enjoy a boy’s antics within this group, which made me feel I was a part of something. It’s just that i didn’t NEED to.do this; to be a part… Read more »
Claudia, I think that moms just know but may not be able to verbalize it or perhaps choose not to verbalize it. And yes, we have come a long way toward understanding. Marg
I was (past tense of course..) married to a woman who hated my CDing with a passion and long term it did contribute to our divorce.
These days I’ve notched up 20 plus years with my loving life pertner who “knows. but she does not want to know"
So as much as it pains me we work on “DADT" in this house….I underdress 24/7 and sleep femme in my own room every night.
I would be so much happier if we could have an open discussion about it, but I dont want to “stir the pot".
Caty.
My wife is the same, similar to the “don’t ask don’t tell" philosophy from the Armed Forces in the states, years back. At least I get to sleep in nighties in the same bed as my wife, as long as they are not too feminine.
Since I was five or early years I played with regular toys but never dolls cause had no sisters except when one of my cousin came we would play girl doll time she was the most beautiful cousins I had those days three but she was the one I admire her looks her dresses until now I don’t know why she never said nothing about my desires, one time my aunt came to invite us to a swimming/picnic after we got home my cousin went to take her one pc. swim suit and when I took my turn and taking… Read more »
Hello Patricia, you hit the nail on the head with your comments. Yes I have been told similar remarks about dressing. Unnatural, you look stupid, or sometimes a glaring disapproving passer by would snigger.
But my mum knew early on about my crossdressing side, and a sister did too.
Now I dress up at work, and when my wife and I go out. Today our situation has improved, but spiteful people will always comment, especially if you look better then they do.
A good hearted person is always a winner.
ENJOY, change your day wear a dress.
Best Wishes Jane
great words and great story. people should just mind their own business if they see a man dressed in as a female, let it go. this is 2022 and woman wear men cloths 24 7, so why cannot men wear female cloths and get away with it. women marry woman, men marry men. so, we are cross dressers and would like to come out of the closet and be respected as one. except us for what we are dressed for and showing our fem side. every man has one and every woman has a male side. my wife knows i… Read more »
Hi Patricia, I loved this article! The timing of reading this for me is spot on. My wife and I went to a Wynonna Judd concert Saturday night in a small venue near Pittsburgh. lThe concert was great but there was either a drag queen or very loyal tribute fan there with a big hair red wig, long coffin nails, all the makeup and outfit. When I first saw them I wanted to tell them I was proud for them, but I passed by and went back to my seat. They came down to the front row and everyone in… Read more »