Hello and best wishes to everyone

On February 17th, Triesste & Friends had its fourth and final edition in Tokyo. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say, that it was a magical evening. We didn’t make a ton of money but the energy in the room was off the charts. Even the stage manager wanted to do it again. That never happens haha.

It’s a well-known fact that after such a high-energy event, comes the crash. Everyday life seems boring and pointless.

One performer, whom I hoped to include, was unable to join us. She had her own band, separately from our show, and is also a legend in the Japan cosplay scene. She performed at our first and third events. We met in January, on the winter solstice, and spent an evening in a little gazebo in the royal gardens talking about life, magic, and music under blankets until sunrise. It was the second year in a row that we spent a chilly evening outside talking all night. After that time, I gave her a nickname-Goddess of hypothermia.

She liked it.

Barely a month after we met, I received a message that she had passed away. The cause was liver disease. I knew she had some health issues, but neither I nor most of her friends knew how much worse she was making it by alcohol abuse. When we met in January, I could see she had been drinking before. In Japan, that is not unusual. What I didn’t know was how far she had gone down that path instead she always talked about her other health issues. She didn’t want anyone to know. Now we all feel like, why didn’t we do something?

This was the kind of person who could talk about the latest scientific discoveries and yet also did tarot readings. Her family came to Japan; we held a memorial service. I think everyone is still in disbelief. She was a brilliant talent and a dear friend, lost far too soon.

I am sharing this, in part, because I don’t want it to happen to anyone else. My friend was proud and independent. She didn’t like asking for help. Neither do I. But when that time comes, ask! It may seem like stepping out in a dress and heels for the first time. In fact, it is the same. Once you do it, you will wonder why you waited so long.

Wishing good health and happiness to everyone.











y in


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Rebecca Lewis
Active Member
15 days ago

Thank you for that wonderful contribution. Having known someone who nearly went down that route, but in the end sought help, I endorse the plea for those, who know they need help, to overcome their fears and ask for it.

Rebecca (Becca) Baxter
Active Member

I had raised enzyme levels in my liver that was probably (certainly?) caused by drinking [for more than fifty years] and it was only found in a routine blood test for something completely unrelated. I immediately gave it up (which was hard for a few months) and things returned to normal within a year so hopefully, I dodged a bullet there. Alcohol damage is like high blood pressure, it’s killing you and it is quite possible to not know it until it’s too late.
I am sorry for your loss. 🙁

15 days ago

Thanks for posting this, Triestte, I have seen the damage alcohol abuse can do and it’s heartbreaking.
My thoughts are with you.
Allie x

Angela Booth
Trusted Member
14 days ago

It is one of those things that whatever we do the destiny is there. Like many I have seen the destruction alcohol can do not only to individuals but family as well. It would not be uncommon for some crossdressers to seek solace in the bottle to hide the frustrations of this secret. Like any addiction it is down to the individual as much as family and friends try to do all they can that terrible cycle has to broken. For the individual that is the hardest part. I know that the girls here would rally round and do all… Read more »

Ellie Davis
Active Member
14 days ago

Oh, Triesste.
I am so, so sorry to read this.
You never know what people are going through in their lives – we’re just too damn good at covering things up.
Your friend was clearly very special.
I don’t have the right words. I hope you’re okay.
Ellie x

Jacqueline Larkspur
14 days ago

My condolences to you on the sad loss of your friend. Take care.

Active Member
12 days ago

I am sharing this, in part, because I don’t want it to happen to anyone else. There is an on-line acquaintance (I can’t really say that he is a friend) who also drinks and is literally killing his liver. He had been hospitalized for related things before I met him, plus he had a recent bout with serious issues. He has quit and restarted a few times. Stubborn? Yes. Carefree? To some degree because he knows what he has done to himself and won’t stop. Addiction is a b-word. Am I upset about it? There is not a damned thing… Read more »

Catharine Connall
Active Member
9 days ago

Condolences to her friends and family.

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