I came across this post by a blogger (named Summer Saldana) on Pinterest and it struck me as particularly apropos to the journey of exploration I and many others here find ourselves on.

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”

So many of us have spent years or even decades absorbing society’s expectations of how we should act, what we should feel and what we can’t do, all based on a brief physical observation immediately after birth. “Boys should be rough and tough, not soft and nurturing”; “Crying means you are weak”; “Only girls can play house or with dolls”; and “Boys can’t wear those clothes”. These expectations may work for many people, but for others they are a yoke that weighs heavily on the shoulders, until one day the mind and soul collapse from carrying the burden of having to behave in ways contrary to the true nature of the person whose inner being doesn’t match their outer shell.

As puberty and adulthood approaches this incongruity becomes more noticeable as our peers put enormous pressure on us to conform to the ‘norm’, so to avoid being ostracized, we deny our true selves and put on a façade that society wants to see. For a while the mask may hold, causing people to think that all is well. Inside however, the conflict remains and eventually the pressure of holding it in builds to an eruption that can cause great pain and destruction, to ourselves and those around us. We need to find a way to relieve the pressure slowly and in a controlled manner, giving everyone, including us, time to adjust to the new realities.

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The quote above illustrates one way we might accomplish this. One by one we can shed the parts of us that are dissonant with our inner core, unbecoming the things that aren’t really us. Like a sculptor who chips away at the block of granite or marble, the pieces that are not part of who we are fall to the wayside revealing the wonderful creation that was always present but had been covered before.

We will only truly be happy when we are free from the shackles we had placed upon us in our youth. As we stretch our muscles, the limitations we had previously experienced are removed. A world we might never have known could exist becomes not only visible but achievable. So shed the chains and weight of expectations of society that have kept you from being who you truly were meant to be, and let yourself soar into the future.

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skippy1965 Cynthia

The Original Cyn, or OC for short. Cynthia is from Richmond Virginia, she crossdresses every day (lucky gal!) and has a knack for tracking down niggling technical issues so we can fix them. She is also on a journey of self-examination to figure out where her feminine journey will lead her, and is always willing to talk with others about their feelings and questions or her own.

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Dawn
Dawn (@yjdon)
3 years ago

Thank you for the article I have just started looking for a therapist so I can get started with my journey.

Thanks Dawn

Margie
3 years ago

What a great article! For me this is really deep. I have so much I wish I could say. To keep it brief for now, I lost my wife, of 50 yrs. last month to cancer. She was my crutch in my crossdressing since 2004. It was brutal at first but over time she became accepting in so many great ways. Over the years, like most I guess, I purged. My last big purge was 2 yrs ago when she started having health issues. My wardrobe was beautiful, even by her standards but I gave everything to Goodwill. As time… Read more »

Margie
3 years ago

Thanks for all the encouragement Cyn! It’s sure helpful. So sorry about the loss of your parents as that’s when it becomes “wow, no one to lean on”. My mother died in my arms from cancer, just weeks after 9-11 happened, she waited till I got there. She was my idol and my dad died in 2009, he waited till after I left! Strange how things work, I was close to both but … just fate I guess. I’ll check out your link later and contact you. My kids are coming over today for support and help with cheering on… Read more »

Member
debbie
3 years ago
Reply to  Margie

So sad your story made me cry and I am sure she wants you to be happy now even as the woman you hoped to be

Margie
3 years ago
Reply to  debbie

Thanks for those kind words Debbie hugs Margie

Robin Twain
Robin Twain
3 years ago

Wow, I cried as I read this writing . That’s me; denying that I have strong, feminine side to me. I “collapsed” under my yoke of oppression about a week ago. For the fisrt time I can trully say I’m happy and I love myself. Robin is my female name and she cries for happiness often this week. Lot’s of dresses, cute PJ’s at night, lip stick, lots of soft girl time with my wife. In fact, when its girl time Ann refers to be as Robin my wife! How cool is that? Next week I’ll be getting a few… Read more »

joey
3 years ago
Reply to  Robin Twain

I agree with you

Robin Twain
Robin Twain
3 years ago

THank You Cynthia and Joey. I just rubbed my wife’s back for 20-25 minutes while she fell asleep. Last week that wouldn’t have happened. I love being tender and proud of it! Another bonus today – my first pair of heels came today; they’re a little higher than I thought they’s be but who’s kidding who? I love them:) Heading to bed with a pair of my wife’s cute PJ’s on as well as a big smile. I feel complete and living as I should.

Pippi Long
Duchess
Member
Pippi Long (@craig-corbin)
3 years ago

Wonderful article Skippy , I totally agree with you . IT seems the older we get the more we peel away our outer shell to get rid of the things that society has identified as . I know i’ve lost a few of those layers myself ! Much love. Pippi

Sophie Frenchie
Sophie Frenchie
3 years ago

That is a very interesting article Cynthia and easy to relate to by myself and the others that have also made comments. I have spent so many years in denial, to find myself last year finally accepting myself and who I have been for so long. But never able to reveal my secret to anyone in my life. Since last year I have been so much more content and happier with myself since I have been trying live my life as Sophie. I still have some way to go, but the longer I do this, the more natural it feels… Read more »

Kelliann Tgurl
Kelliann Tgurl
3 years ago

I LOVE THIS,,,,,SO MUCH TRUTH IN THESE WORDS…..

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