Unbecoming Who You Aren’t

I came across this post by a blogger (named Summer Saldana) on Pinterest and it struck me as particularly apropos to the journey of exploration I and many others here find ourselves on.

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”

So many of us have spent years or even decades absorbing society’s expectations of how we should act, what we should feel and what we can’t do, all based on a brief physical observation immediately after birth. “Boys should be rough and tough, not soft and nurturing”; “Crying means you are weak”; “Only girls can play house or with dolls”; and “Boys can’t wear those clothes”. These expectations may work for many people, but for others they are a yoke that weighs heavily on the shoulders, until one day the mind and soul collapse from carrying the burden of having to behave in ways contrary to the true nature of the person whose inner being doesn’t match their outer shell.

As puberty and adulthood approaches this incongruity becomes more noticeable as our peers put enormous pressure on us to conform to the ‘norm’, so to avoid being ostracized, we deny our true selves and put on a façade that society wants to see. For a while the mask may hold, causing people to think that all is well. Inside however, the conflict remains and eventually the pressure of holding it in builds to an eruption that can cause great pain and destruction, to ourselves and those around us. We need to find a way to relieve the pressure slowly and in a controlled manner, giving everyone, including us, time to adjust to the new realities.

The quote above illustrates one way we might accomplish this. One by one we can shed the parts of us that are dissonant with our inner core, unbecoming the things that aren’t really us. Like a sculptor who chips away at the block of granite or marble, the pieces that are not part of who we are fall to the wayside revealing the wonderful creation that was always present but had been covered before.

We will only truly be happy when we are free from the shackles we had placed upon us in our youth. As we stretch our muscles, the limitations we had previously experienced are removed. A world we might never have known could exist becomes not only visible but achievable. So shed the chains and weight of expectations of society that have kept you from being who you truly were meant to be, and let yourself soar into the future.

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Profile photo of skippy1965(Cynthia)


The Original Cyn, or OC for short. Cynthia is from Richmond Virginia, she crossdresses every day (lucky gal!) and has a knack for tracking down niggling technical issues so we can fix them. She is also on a journey of self-examination to figure out where her feminine journey will lead her, and is always willing to talk with others about their feelings and questions or her own.
Profile photo of skippy1965(Cynthia)

Latest posts by skippy1965(Cynthia) (see all)

  1. Profile photo of Dawn
    Dawn 2 days ago

    Thank you for the article I have just started looking for a therapist so I can get started with my journey.

    Thanks Dawn

  2. Profile photo of Jackie Wild
    Jackie Wild 3 days ago

    Cyn you nailed it. This is beautifully written and explained regarding us who just want to be ourselves and not who society thinks we should be for all the selfish reasons they offer. It takes allot of courage to be who we are openly. It’s writings like yours that give so many the encouragement to lead the lives they are meant to live. Perfect on your part. Thank you.

  3. Profile photo of Jane Pembridge
    Jane Pembridge 6 days ago

    I love this article, sums up how I feel.

  4. Profile photo of Katie Jean (wicked boston girl)

    Cyn, she very true thing to think about – what we have become to to society and the life we were born into. Very thought provoking!

  5. Profile photo of Xeri
    Xeri 2 weeks ago

    Just read your article, Cynthia. As always, you are spot-on and you speak well for any and all of us who have wanted to explore the outer and unknown reaches of ourselves.

  6. Profile photo of April
    April 2 weeks ago

    Oh Cyn – you are becoming such a great writer! Such an apropos statement – shedding that which is not our true selves. I am working on it day by day, as I know are you.


  7. Profile photo of Amber
    Amber 2 weeks ago

    Really nice article… you are a very good writer. hope to see more articles in the future

  8. Profile photo of MacKenzie Alexandra
    MacKenzie Alexandra 2 weeks ago


    This is an interesting view and is quite thought provoking. I had never really looked at my journey from that perspective. Thanx again for sharing.


  9. Erikka 2 weeks ago

    Hi Cyn. I hope you can give me some advice. I really enjoy dressing, but only for the moment. By that, I mean I love wearing panties and stockings, enjoying the view, then finishing, if you get my drift. I have no desire to do anything more than that. But I definitely enjoy seeing others dressed up. So, i guess my question is,should I continue to enjoy personal moments, or would I like wearing things more, during day. I hope this makes a little sense. Erikka

  10. Profile photo of Lissa
    Lissa 2 weeks ago

    Nice reading Cynthia. It hits the nail on the head l think.

  11. Stacey S 2 weeks ago

    Great Post loved it keep the good work up. trying to realize more and more who I am.
    Stacey s

  12. Profile photo of maddie whitman
    maddie whitman 2 weeks ago

    great article cyn so true keep them coming stay safe stay strong and i hope we all have a great 2017 hugs Maddie

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