I have not met most of you unless you were one of my FB friends before I decided to pull the plug on my nearly 1,000 “friends.” I am now rethinking that decision after a session with my counselor who has helped me come to grips with my genderfluid self over the past three-plus years. She is a “butch lesbian” (her description) and pointed out that the CD/gender non-conforming community will never be accepted if we do not at least have visibility within the LGBTQ community.
I work from home and I can be Carrie virtually whenever I want. I am lucky to have a supportive wife. I shop for groceries, go out to eat and spend time as Carrie pretty much at will. In the past year I have pulled back from the local groups, Denver’s Gender Identity Center, the GBLT center in Denver, Out Boulder County and our local Tri-Ess group just because I felt some conflict in all of the groups. I get the, “So, you are genderfluid, huh? When are you going to transition/pick a side/get comfortable and admit you are a woman?” In the LGBTQ community I would say gender non-conforming people are the least understood of any group and by pulling back I added to that. In the general community, I am very visible – except nobody notices because I have a nice wardrobe and I dress to blend even though I am 5’10” and 185 pounds.
What I mean by this is that by staying closeted and on forums where all of us feel safe we run the risk of our community becoming even more marginalized. While there is the serious concern for safety, especially with today’s political climate, there are “safe harbors” in virtually every city across the US in the form of LGBTQ centers. As genderfluid (sorry, I just do not like CROSSDRESSER as my label – when I am Carrie, I am Carrie for days or weeks and do not feel like I am crossdressing, but I know I AM part of the community) I need to help other LGBTQ people see that there are a LOT of others like me.