I, like so many others who knew from early on, I was meant to walk a different road. As a child, we kids would play from dawn to dusk. We played all kinds of games and my fave was always dress up. The girls would make us dress in their clothes and they would do likewise with our clothes.
As I grew older, the desire to dress only got stronger. By the time I reached my teens, it became apparent that I was different. What was supposed to be gynecomastia and temporary turned out to be permanent along with the strong feminine desires to look pretty and girly.
I’ve been with women who put up with my cross dressing and those who didn’t. The thing is I’m not gay! I haven’t any urge to explore that possibility either. There are things you definitely know about yourself, and I certainly know I am not gay! This is a common assumption many girls make when they find out you have a thrill for cross dressing into lady’s clothing.
I walked through my home town en femme one day and it was a very liberating experience. I kept walking until I reached a cousin’s house to do laundry and at that time and place, I let the cat out of the bag to everyone there! They were stunned but accepting which made it a moment I still cherish to this day. That was 30 plus years and two ex wives ago. Now I’m someone who is starting over with being true to my inner self.
My youngest boy is still at home and was made aware of the possibility I’m a cross dresser by his mother who tried to make it an issue during our custody battle. However, he has never actually seen me en femme. I will one day tell him the entire story from start to where I’m at to date with my cross dressing. I have tried a few times to share the truth regarding my cross dressing, however, I could never manage to garner the strength to let it all out.
I feel more liberated today and my confidence is growing in me to be true to my inner being. I started my latest collection of frillies about a year ago. It’s been a long and lonely road keeping things inside. I am planning to hopefully go on an adventure where I can meet up with a group of girls like me and spend time sharing with each other the cross dressing stories of our lives and experiences that have given us strength along the way. We will then make each other stronger knowing we are no longer walking a lonely road.
Finding this site (Crossdresser Heaven) has been a blessing for me as I live in a rural setting and everybody knows your name and your business as with most small towns. As a result, I have kept Jezzebelle quiet until finding this site. Thank you all for being there and for your restless spirits to help me find the road to inner peace.
Do most of you girls have to stay in the closet and keep your thrill of cross dressing a deep secret from everyone in your family?
When you first shared the fact that you were into cross dressing and how long you’ve been doing it, what was the reaction of the very first person you shared this secret with?
What do you do to deal with any guilt or shame you many have as a result of your cross dressing? And did you finally get past any guilt or shame you initially dealt with in the early years of your cross dressing?
Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my article.
If you have a reply to any of the questions I’ve noted above, please feel free to share your thoughts or experiences with me!