Baby, We’ve Come A Long Way by Amy Myers
Back in about 1965 when I was just starting to experiment with the thrill of dressing up in women’s clothes, the world was a different place. We were isolated by our love of this pastime.
Something inside us we can’t explain drew us to try on that first feminine item. Be it stockings, pantyhose, undies, heels, it doesn’t really matter, except that something connected inside our brain which continues this day. Though usually not in a straight line.
Whether one enjoyed the thrill of the fetish aspect to this, or if by dressing up, even for a while quelled that yearning inside of you to be the girl you knew you should have been, unless you were very fortunate, you were quite alone. Which is how most of us wanted to be anyway, as we were too ashamed or embarrassed to admit it to anyone, sometimes even to ourselves.
Little did I know at the time there were so many others like me, doing the same thing. Sneaking into your sister’s or mother’s closet or the hamper to borrow their undies for a little while. On braver days perhaps, some outer clothes and makeup too, then admiring yourself in the mirror. Then quickly undressing before everyone came home again, and hiding things back (hopefully) exactly where you found them.
Some people feel we were better off then. Looking back from our early 21st century world it seems that life was so much simpler, products were better made, and mostly made here by our own friends and family. Imported goods were something special, the best another country had to offer us, instead of just the cheaper labour which is the norm now.
But was it all so beautiful? Like the line from the song, “Or has time rewritten every line?”, I rather think that’s often true. Trust me, in my “other life” I am well known for vintage things, and I do love them, but I’m also glad to be here right now with all of you other lovely ladies.
The 21st Century has many things to offer us which we never had before. Medical treatment for one. I have a child who has a condition that was not very treatable a few decades ago, but now is and allows him to lead a normal life, and as I age, I hope to do that better, and healthier than my grandparents were able to.
As the other boys in school were often vocal about their lust for girls in class, some of us could see their beauty in a different way. We would see them as pretty and desirable too, but also, we sometimes questioned why I can’t look as pretty as she does? Sometimes it seemed as if the girls had it easier too, which was a perspective I often had. Though I know now it wasn’t true, and some of them envied us boys. Who would have thought that?
Obviously this wasn’t something one could discuss with the school yard pals like we might debate who was the prettiest girl in Home Room.
I took my cue from the experience of another boy in my school, who was always hanging around the girls, but, unlike the jocks who were trying to make time with them, he just seemed to like their company.
The other boys called him by that term which we prefer not use to here, but starts with S… I didn’t think he was doing anything wrong, the girls were good company, and I would have very much liked to be part of that group, but there was no way I wanted to earn that kind of distain from my peers! Good old (bad) peer pressure again.
I have often wondered what might have become of that boy as he grew up, and as I’ve gone through this transition in my own life, as I have lost touch with all but one person I went to school with.
Just to be clear to my readers, I use the term “transition” lightly, as I have not transitioned, nor do it expect too. However, I have transitioned in a different manner by accepting my feminine nature, and can now enjoy it more than I ever thought I would.
Living in Canada during that time it was still a crime to be found in intimate company with someone of the same sex. School yard bullies are one thing, but to be suspected of a crime like this by the police is quite another. Not that I would have been in that situation, but with the mindset, which we still have today, that anyone who dresses up as a woman, must be gay, or homosexual, as it was referred to at the time.
If I had gone out, there was that possibility of gaining the attention of the police. Not to mention all the other abuse that might have come your way, and I have heard stories the police weren’t always kind to people they perceived as having an alt lifestyle of any kind either.
So I lived my life totally closeted, as most all did back then and some must still live a closeted life to this very day! In the last few years, I have learned that there was a network of sorts for people who identified with being a crossdresser or trans. Ads were run in some adult magazines, and I remember taking note of one, but was much too shy and sacred to send away for more information. In those days it was direct to your mailbox, with your name and address on it, even if it was in the typical “plain packaging”, you couldn’t hide behind an online identity like we are able to now.
Not that all is now perfect for the world of crossdressers or transgendered folks. There is a huge stigma still associated with this crossdressing compulsion, and often we are seen simply as gay fetishists. Of course, that’s sometimes the case, and shouldn’t be a problem if it is, but it’s not the rule. Those with wives or partners in our lives might wish for more acceptance on their part too.
The part of the world you live in, and your specific community standards make a difference too, however, I do firmly believe that attitudes are changing. Most younger people have a much higher degree of acceptance, and in many areas, it is part of the school curriculum.
Now with the internet we are so much better informed than we ever were before. For better or for worse, as the saying goes. But for us here, I really think it is for the better. How else would I have met all of you lovely ladies at CDH, but through the wonder of modern communications? Then through this I discovered others almost in my own backyard, who I could actually go and meet in person.
Now as a youngster growing up you can research this, and yes look at things you shouldn’t and your parents wouldn’t have approved of, but now you can find out you are not some freak of nature, and that there are others like you in the world. Perhaps even make friendships.
I now have a large network of CD and TG friends from Alaska to Australia, and around the world, all through the miracle of communication and information this technology makes possible.
As a caution, one needs to be very careful when meeting others one has got to know over this site, or any other for that matter. Most of course are simply sincere people with all of the hopes and fears you and I share, but there are a few who might have more devious ideas.
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- How do you feel about life for CD and TG people now, compared to the past?
- What experiences have you had crossdressing in the past, and are they better now?
- How do you see the future for CD and TG people?
Thank you for taking the time to read my article! Please feel free to send me a response to my writings in the article or to one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you above.
Sincerely, Amy Myers
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Amy Myers
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Thanks for sharing Amy. I started crossdressing at age twelve, secretly wearing my mother’s skirts and dresses to begin with. The reason was that l wanted to see what the girl that dwelled inside since 5 or 6 really looked like. I think l realised there could be others like me out there but had no idea or even thoughts about getting in contact. Neither did l guess there would be a way of being her in my wildest dreams. So l just kept her hidden best l could and abided. At 26 I met an eight year younger student… Read more »
Marianne; That is certainly the life story. It seems no matter what we do, if there is a woman inside of us, she finds a way out! I am sorry that your wife does not want to continue the marriage if/when you transition. My wife is very supportive, but I were to permanently transition, I believe she too would not want to continue with me. She does want her man from time to time! I suspect you already know what the outcome of the testing will be, but of course it all has to be made official, and transitioning being… Read more »
Thanks Amy for your thoughts as like yourself I’ve been a cross dresser for 45+ years and through 2 failed long term relationships because of my desires to wear " fashionable clothing " oh and comfortably soft as well. I’m into my 3rd relationship and told her on our first date, her response was " I like kissing girls and we fell in love. Sociaty is changing for the better. My message is sociaty has become non judgmental in Canada Anyway and your fears of coming out mostly exist in your head.
Janet
Thank you, Janet, and finally it sounds like you’ve found the right person to share your life with!
Amy
Lovely, Amy. I’m old school, but yes, I do appreciate that modern technology has freed me, through this site. The stigma has diminished & the friendships I’ve made are wonderful. I’m happy that we’re more accepted, today, although when I go out, I still don’t admit to being a crossdresser (although I’ve never been challenged). I just say that I’m transitioning. That seems to be more accepted.
Dawn
Thanks, Dawn. I also usually refer to myself as a trans woman, sometimes just trans, as I agree, that I think it is better understood.
Amy
Hi Amy thanks for sharing your story with us x I’m a mature Crossdresser just like your self, I started dressing up in the 60’s and thought i was the only one who liked wearing (female clothes) so i hid it away, i used to raid my older sisters clothes and hoped she didn’t notice when i put them back, like a lot of people i thought if i got married it would cure me it sort of did because i didn’t dress for quite a while but in the last 10 to 15 years it has just intensified i… Read more »
Thanks, Rozalyne. Amazing how we all felt so alone back then! The betrayal can be a biggie after so many years together, so you are likely right in keeping this from her.
Amy
Hi Amy thanks for your reply, I just wish i could have been more truthful with my wife when i met her and told her about me being a cross-dresser and then let her decide if she wanted to get married, i think trans people and cross-dresser’s have a lot more support in this day and age than we did people are more tolerant now xxxxx
Such a beautiful article, thanks for sharing, it was an easy read and spoke to me.
Thank you Amanda.
Amy
Thank you, Jazz. Yes, things are not perfect, but I’m glad you agree we are much better than some decades ago.
Amy
Thank you for all your articles. I came into cross dressing late, by comparison with so many people. I always knew I had some yearning – an itch, if you will – but did not know for what. After my wife left me in 2005, I took a pit orchestra job playing Cabaret. One night, the power went off just at the end of the show. Rather than change in the dark, I went home in drag.I had been lonely till then, but that night, there was a woman in the house, and I suddenly realized what I had been… Read more »
Thank you very much Elizabeth. I’m glad that you found your way, better late than never as they say.
I too am at of an age where this technology is so new that I appreciate it, rather than taking it for granted.
Amy