One time many years ago my dad & I were talking about rising crime rates in town.  I suggested that perhaps more cops were needed.  My dad said, “Cops are the symptom.  They’re neither the cause nor the cure.”

——————————————–

What is it that makes someone transgender?  There’s been a lot of debate on the origin.  I’m not going to touch that here, except to say that transgender has been a thing for far longer and wider than most people probably realize, and that I have my own ideas on the why & where.  Instead, I’ll focus on some symptoms and leave the cause and cure for you to discern (hint: there is no “cure”).

Occasionally, I’ve seen people use the phrase “fully transgender”.  Although I think I get what’s being indicated there, it’s a red herring statement.  Can you be only half transgender?  No, not any more than you can be half alive… you either are or are not.

EnFemme Style

Some trans folks opt for medical treatment.  HRT, various surgeries.  Is THAT what makes you transgender?  No, again these are some symptoms and not the cause.  Nor are they the cure.  These treatments are intended to be therapeutic, to alleviate the mental and/or emotional suffering.  You see, things like dysphoria/dysmorphia, depression, anxiety and the like often go along with being trans. All treatments are therapeutic, but not all treatments are necessary for everyone.

Is being transgender in and of itself a mental illness?  No, of course not.  C’mon now.  It’s simply a way of understanding yourself that’s different from the majority of (cis) people.  A different sort of consciousness.

Well, shoot.  Let’s look at etymology for some help.

Trans

  1. across; beyond
  2.  through — into another state or place — surpassing; transcending

Gender
(This one’s a little more difficult)

  1. the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex
  2. either of the two sexes (male and female), especially when considered with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones. The term is also used more broadly to denote a range of identities that do not correspond to established ideas of male and female.
  3. Gender refers to the characteristics of women, men, girls and boys that are socially constructed. This includes norms, behaviors and roles associated with being a woman, man, girl or boy, as well as relationships with each other.

In other words, transgender = changing or transforming of gender or gender presentation.  Hey wait, isn’t that kind of like crossdressing??  There’s another symptom.  You didn’t need surgery or hormones for that either did you?

En Femme Style

A lot of us (myself included) began doing this odd thing (aka crossdressing) as young children, long before onset of puberty.  Almost like we knew or something (I did, but the language to express it in words didn’t exist back then).  Maybe some of us knew why we did what we did, or maybe not. It doesn’t matter that it took you ten years or thirty or fifty to understand it.

The day I began to understand myself as transgender was the day a lot of things about my life looking back began to make more sense.  Like why girls liked me as a friend and not as a boyfriend.  Why more than one of them had called me a girl.  Why I like fashion, colors & have an artistic sensibility.  Why I think that most men are goofballs and had to learn how to become one of them.  Why I prefer to be a diplomat and not a fighter (I’m not scared of confrontation, but I don’t enjoy it either).  Why I feel the vibe and watch the body language more than I care about the words (although words are important too).

None of these are causes, but they’re some more symptoms.  Does every trans person have all these symptoms?  No not all of us, but you probably knew I was going to say that.

Sooo…that’s about all I got to say, for now at least.  I hope that all you other gals on here who understand yourselves as transgender, will please come throw down on the comments of this here article.  And maybe some gals who aren’t sure will ask some questions, either out loud or just to themselves.  How did you know?  What are some things you wish others knew or understood?

Thank you Ladies!!

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    Ashley Konners
    Active Member
    1 month ago

    Great article hun, I can relate to a lot you’ve said. Back when I started my crossdressing at a very young age I didn’t know what it was called or why I enjoyed doing it and always thought I was the only boy doing this weird thing of trying on my sisters and moms things. No one to turn to and no internet back then. Once I got a little older and was dressed in feminine attire it just came to me that….OMG , I m a crossdresser and I shouldn’t be doing this. The text book purges and telling… Read more »

    Angela Booth
    Active Member
    1 month ago

    Being transgender is a concept that has been defined for us as with every other term for sex and sexuality. When I entered the fray I had no idea of what was going on except these feelings and instinct to wear girls clothes and be like them. A little older I saw Drag queens, which I knew were men dressed as women and seemed to be accepted. I began to become aware of men that dressed as women called Transvestites and then transsexuals. These two were not well accepted and any indication that you had those feelings were soon hidden… Read more »

    Scarlett398
    Editor
    Noble Member
    1 month ago
    Reply to  Angela Booth

    Well said Angela and I agree with every word of your response!

    XOXOXO Scarlett

    Scarlett398
    Editor
    Noble Member
    1 month ago

    I’ll spare a lot of my sloppy and slow typing by just saying my response would almost be a total word for word carbon copy of Ashley Konners’ response with only one exception – the only close relative I’ve every told about my cross dressing was my younger sister Holly who wasn’t very supportive a all but did say my pictures were quite impressive and very pretty! And now after reading CaMaTha’s fabulous article, I realize I’m not just simply a cross dresser, I’m also Transgender as well. I told CaMaTHa I have some very poor typing skills but I… Read more »

    Scarlett398
    Editor
    Noble Member
    1 month ago
    Reply to  Саманта

    You’re more than welcome Sam! What a super article! I feel great as both a crossdresser and some girl who’s also a transgender girl!

    Camryn Occasionnel
    Duchess
    Active Member
    1 month ago
    Reply to  Саманта

    I hope to live long enough, and remain a member of CDH long enough, to one day hear the backstory behind your choice of the moniker Саманта. I’ve been burning with curiosity from the day you chose it.

    Hugs,
    — Camryn

    Holly Morris
    Trusted Member
    1 month ago

    Hi Samantha! This is a great article and very well articulated. I suspect that many, if not most of us have felt this way and asked these questions for a long, long time. And for those of us who grew up in the last century, when none of these topics were even discussed, and, as you said, the language didn’t exist yet to help define it, we took these feelings and desires we had and hid them from others. We didn’t know there were others who felt the same way or struggled with these issues. As you said, transgenderism has… Read more »

    Cassie Jayson
    Duchess
    Trusted Member
    1 month ago

    Thanks, Sam. I am so similar to many here. For a long, long time I would dress for 1 or 2 days or maybe everyday for a couple of weeks. Yes I often had large sexual feelings with that. I too would usually get disgusted with myself and purge the little I had. Then to March of 2019 I got started again and couldn’t stop myself, often the arousal part was still there but much more than that it just felt right . In Sept of 2019 I found CDH and was discovered by my X. After she told our… Read more »

    Lauren Mugnaia
    Duchess
    Active Member
    1 month ago

    Oh my Sam, and my lovely girlfriends, just reading this made me cry. You’ve nailed the basics in a well written article, thank you so much! Ladies, all of you, Ashley, Angela, Scarlett, Holly and Cassie, I’m going to copy and paste my introduction of Lauren to the world. This was made in April, a short time after Lauren was officially reborn where I transitioned at work. It says so much about the topic of this article, “what makes someone transgender”. Here goes, please enjoy 🙂 This was my “coming out” announcement to the world, to family, to friends and… Read more »

    Holly Morris
    Trusted Member
    1 month ago
    Reply to  Lauren Mugnaia

    Lauren, thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing that note with us! I know that writing it was scary, as was coming out to all those in your life with whom you wanted to share the truth. However, I truly believe that by sharing you will help many of us who have felt the same way for years, decades, most of our lives, and that perhaps some of us will be able to take the next step forward as you did. Life is indeed short, and waiting for a life changing moment may be too late for some, if… Read more »

    Camryn Occasionnel
    Duchess
    Active Member
    1 month ago

    Am I transgender?  I really don’t know, but if that’s what people choose to call me, so be it. I’m still not quite clear on the symptoms of “transgenderism”.  I do know what I choose to label myself, and that is a “plain vanilla, garden variety” crossdresser. Is crossdressing a subset of the larger genus transgender? Again, don’t know. “Symptoms” of my crossdressing (I’d rather call them “characteristics” or “attributes” – symptoms is such a scary medical term) include an irresistible desire to dress in women’s attire, both under and outer, to wear a wig (I’m virtually bald), wear women’s dress shoes, wear women’s… Read more »

    Leonara
    Ambassador
    Trusted Member
    1 month ago

    Camryn,
    i can really relate to your article especially
    an irresistible desire to dress in women’s attire, both under and outer”..a few years ago, I attended counseling for that part of my life and accepted at that time “gender fluid”. However, specifically Camahta indicated, which I also admit, that I embrace Gender characteristics of a woman which includes norms, behaviors and roles associated with being a woman.
    For now, I am balancing my alter egos
    “that is my story and I’m stickin to it” lol
    Regards, Leonara

    Laela Rosa
    Member
    1 month ago

    That was a great and touching article. It really helps to hear others perspective because for many of us it is true confirmation. I understand the feelings of wanting to do something that others do not understand. We are who we are. It is a totally liberating feeling of peace! I no longer feel like I am pretending to be someone I am not. Thank you so much sweetie for discussing this important topic. xoxoxo

    Laela Rosa
    Member
    1 month ago
    Reply to  Саманта

    You are so welcome. It really is! You really expressed that perfectly! I totally agree with you!

    Christina Cross
    Active Member
    1 month ago

    Camahta, really enjoyed your post and breaking down the elements of Transgender. I think a lot of us here question and wonder about where we reside on the gender spectrum. We ask why are we like this? We try to see where we fit in. We look at labels. We repress. We deal with guilt and shame. And then at some point we have “that moment” where we accept. But that isn’t just it. It is like peeling an onion. There are deeper levels of acceptance we still have to go through. It takes time. Here’s how the stages went… Read more »

    Danielle Wayne
    Duchess
    Noble Member
    1 month ago

    spot on. i felt I was reading my own life journey. I am sure it is the same for so many of us girls. coming to this site has liberated me. finding kindred spirits such as yourself, truly makes going on and being myself, so much more positive and uplifting. thank you so very much for expressing into words what I feel every day.
    Hugs
    Danielle

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