Unlike most of the members here, I came late to crossdressing. As is well documented elsewhere on the site and many times in the chat room, I only started crossdressing in my early fifties. So what happened? Why did this happen “out of the blue”? The whole experience has caused me to ponder these and similar questions on numerous occasions and, whilst I have no definitive answers, I realize that perhaps this late onset was not as sudden or unexpected as it seemed. When I think back on my life so far, there are several subtle hints that individually mean nothing, but collectively perhaps suggest that there was more to me than met the eye.
I vaguely recall that when I was very young, (pre-school age) when getting ready to go somewhere, my grandmother would always lick her middle and index fingers before scrunching my hair into a “wave”. Almost without fail she would comment to my mother “With hair like this, he should have been a girl.” I never thought anything of it except that I had nice hair.
During my primary school years, I did all the usual boy things: played footy and cricket (neither all that well), marbles, cowboys & indians, Robin Hood, William Tell etc. I had a collection of Matchbox cars, the usual boy comics and a good collection of Biggles books. At the same time, I had no difficulty playing tea parties with my sisters and cousins (most of whom were girls). I never played dress ups and I’m sure I didn’t play with dolls by myself but occasionally joined them when that’s what they were doing. I also read The Magic Faraway Tree and many Secret Seven and Famous Five books.
Apart from being one of only a few boy cousins in a sea of girls, I was also the oldest of the kids in our neighborhood. I used to take the younger kids under my wing so to speak and when we were playing organized games, I always made sure that no one was left out. At one stage the adults of the area used to refer to me as The Pied Piper. Whilst it would be incorrect to say that this empathy & nurturing behavior is absent in the masculine, they are characteristics more usually associated with the feminine. I never thought anything of it, it just seemed natural and the right thing to do.
I was never jealous of my sisters although, from my perspective at least, they had it easier than me. At the time I attributed this to expectations for the eldest son that was so common in the ’60s and the usual economic situation that exists in most families where life becomes less arduous as time goes on and the mortgage shrinks. However, I do now believe that overall, girls have it easier in the early years, at least from the point of view of more freedom to express themselves and often less expectation. Not that this is necessarily right, it’s just the way it is in most cases.
Into adolescence, I had long hair (didn’t everyone?), wore V-knee jeans, flairs or baggies & platform shoes with pastel colored or paisley body shirts. Hey, it was the 70s and I didn’t stand out at all. However, thinking back on it, I did pay probably more attention to my appearance than many of my mates.
Fast forward 40 years and I sit now fully waxed, with painted toenails, earrings, anklet & toe rings, wondering whether these early tendencies were perhaps indicators of something more that was successfully suppressed by prevailing social norms.
MAXINE !!!! Great to hear from you again.
Don’t be a stranger, and thanks for sharing.
Big Hugs,
Samantha
Hi Sami!
Yes. Been away too long but life has a habit of keeping us busy.
Wonderful to see the community flourishing.
Keep up the good woork 😉
Hugs, always,
Maxine
Great read! So many similarities in my life too.
Hugs and kisses, Dana
Interesting Maxine, as your childhood sounds a lot like mine. Grew up in the 60s with a sister and all girl cousins. Did the usual guy things, not poorly, but never really all that well either. Liked cooperation more than competition. But I was CD from an early age, although I had no idea what that was at the time. All I knew was that I loved dressing and makeup.
Nice to hear a story of someone finding themselves later in life. I kind of had a rebirth at 58, so I can relate a bit.
Hugs,
April
Going through the same experience in my 50’s. Feels like the adolescence I should have had. Thanks so much for sharing your story. It definitely helps xx
Great story, wish all the best for you.
I never played with dolls, men or wore women’s clothing In fact I slept with a wrench under my pillow, I have an amazing mechanical aptitude and grasp of the way things work During my childhood and well into my adult years, I was never homophobic, I spent a lot of time in the east village and village so luckily, I was conditioned to accept different types of people Time marches on I use to pride myself in the ability to get the girls and ______their brains out, over and over Never would I ever imagined that I would physically… Read more »
Just read your article, and loved it. It kind of reminds me, of me, when I was younger. Although, I had two older brothers, I found myself mostly playing with my younger girl cousins. Anyway, a lot what you wrote, felt as if, you were talking to me.
Hugs,
Veronica Raines
Thanks Maxine! It’s always interesting learning about others’ experiences on this shared journey!
Maxine,
Sure have missed you and Tanya these last months-hope you both come back for good!
Cyn
Hiya Cyn,
You original, you.
We sure have missed you & the gals.
I’d love to be back more regularly but unfortunately can’t commit to it at the moment.
Maybe a little way down the track. (fingers crossed).
Big Hugs,
Maxine (& Tanya)
A supreme reflection. Thanks.