I have to admit, I’ve been going full speed ahead with my research into how best to take care of my relationship, how best to show my love and affection for my guy and how to ensure we are both getting our needs met.
I’ve been reading articles on here for inspiration and information (many thanks to all you ladies) and looking at the adverts, which are giving me some really fun gift ideas for the future. I’m also in the middle of reading a book called “My Husband Wears My Clothes” by Peggy J Rudd, and I am really enjoying it.
I was in a quandary regarding names, but I wasn’t sure how to bring the subject up because I’m really bad at being subtle; I feel like it all came out seeming rather weird because of my nervousness. I seem to recall that we were getting ready to go somewhere, or maybe we were making breakfast, but it just kinda came out and I asked, “Am I supposed to be calling you another name when you are dressed up?”
I could tell it was a bit of a shock, coming out of the blue like this, but he recovered quickly and it started a wonderful conversation.
It turns out he had picked a name that was close to his own boy’s name, but he felt it was not really what it ought to be, it just didn’t feel right; he wasn’t even entirely sure a name was necessary. He talked about how he’d read a lot about it, but wasn’t sure if he, all dressed up, was a whole other person, or if it was just him dressed up.
He knew the logic of why guys choose a feminine name and it interested him, but I felt like it was a big step that he wasn’t quite ready to make, because until I came along, ‘she’ was completely hidden and scared. With lots and lots of love and encouragement, she (the gender we’ll now use) now wears more feminine clothes out and about and she is so confident and happy, it brings such warmth to my heart.
We started talking names. I got my internet up we started looking at lists of baby names. We would both throw them out in turn and say them a couple of times to get a feel for them. Although she didn’t fully land on one, I think the seed is planted and she will be trying some of them soon.
Now I guess I wanted to ask anyone else who stumbles upon this post: Is a name necessary? How did you pick yours? Did you ever struggle with picking a name or did you think it unnecessary? Is there a certain meaning behind your choice?
As William Shakespeare wrote, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
Choose Lizzy as my first name as that was what my mum would have named me if I was born a girl. My second name is Quattro after my favourite female rock singer the fab Suzi Quattro. A bit of a rock chick too so quite app. Plus if I ever decide to do so good drag queen name?
I’ve never considered choosing a name as a CD because I never considered it to be a separate part of me distinct enough to have it’s own personality. If anything I have long been in denial that this is part of who I am. I remember two occasions in the past where people have called me Toni, once in enrollment forms for a new job, and once when they put “Toni" on my office door. I remember getting quite angry about it, partly because they hadn’t got my name correct and, I think, partly because I was afraid of anyone… Read more »
@Clara Frye Abigail is the name my parents had picked out if I was born a girl ( they thought I was going to be a girl)
Abigail😊
Guess they were kinda right☺️
Gosh, this is going to put a date on me.
Growing up I watched Green Acres on television, and seeing Eva Gabor running around the farm in her long, flowing negligees made my knees weaken. I wanted to wear all those lavish nightgowns and feel that extravagant nylon swirling over my skin. She also wore some very pretty chiffon dresses that would spin my head. So, you might say Eva is responsible for my femme name, Lisa Douglas.
@Clara Frye Like others, I selected a femme name to join online communities. The name I chose hasn’t really become a part of me just yet. I am hoping the REAL name I embrace will be one that my wife and I arrive at together. After five years of holding this all in and keeping it secret I finally had to confess to my wife. I hated the sneaking and duplicity even though it was essential for me to explore enough to know if this is just an ephemeral pink fog or something that is really me. It is the… Read more »
@Lindsey Davis Lindsey, I’m so thrilled to hear that things are going well with your wife. I’m not out at all but even if I was I can’t imagine having the courage to appear dressed in front of my wife. I’d just feel so silly 😂. Good for you girl xx.
I chose Kimberly not because it is close to my Male name but I thought it Kimberly was a pretty and feminine name
@Clara Frye Mine comes from the name I would have been given if born a girl. Take care!
@Clara Frye thanks for story of acceptance. I wish I had the same support. As for Dixie, it came natural. She is my complete opposite. Fun loving and worry free. Dixie seemed like a free spirit name. I think it is cute and catchy.
Dear Clara
My name Vera is soooooo very Important .
I see when one finally discovers Her True femme name She is admitting having a transfeminine Identity which for some of us we have resisted for so many years , I feel a true femmme name for most of us is a Gift and our Entryway into Loving and Embracing the female part of ourselve
Thanks for writing this article Clara!
It warms my heart hearing how thoughtful you are.
Originally I thought Sophie sounded nice.
But after giving it more thought, I went for something more inspired and found Katie Klash. I thought of my first crushes, Kate Beckinsale and Kim Kardashian.
I always loved their sense of fashion and it feels right too.
Best of luck on your beautiful journey.
Lots of love,
Katie