Maybe you’ve just shown someone a part of you, this part of you, and they didn’t react well. Hey, maybe they came back at you, scolding and making fun of you. Maybe things at work aren’t going very smoothly and even though you’re doing your best, it seems it’s just not enough. Maybe your relationship is in turmoil and nothing you do will ever measure up to your partners standard, making you feel as though you’re a failure and a disgrace. Maybe you’re like me and found yourself trying to express yourself, not necessarily as a CD or trans, but just the very core of who you are. You’re still trying to sort your thoughts and opinions out yourself, while not perfect, but someone, a friend and/or family, just seems to be trying to influence you to think their way. You go to do something and someone essentially slaps a figurative ruler over you, points their figurative finger at you and tells you “not good enough” in various ways. It’s the name calling, your performance, your place in life that seems to bother others. So what’s your problem? Better yet… are you even the problem at all?

Nobody’s perfect but at what point do we, as individuals, draw the line at what we will and will not put up with? If you never or barely draw a line, no matter your best intentions and best nature, someone is going to try to sabotage you but make it seem like they’re still benefiting you. Like they’re really the kind of friend you should be with or the role model in your family you should be like or even the person at work who gets the best results. When someone is in that position it’s like they’re Ricky Bobby telling you “You’re first or last.” Somehow it’s like you lack something, maybe everything, but if you hang with certain people or even agree with the most popular opinion, then you can be good enough. Fall short even the slightest and you’re just a waste of existence. You’re not normal. You’re a joke.

So you’re not perfect.. but really who is? What makes these people and these circumstances you’re in dictate that you’re the loser? You’re not a loser. And if you’re putting in the effort, that’s got to be worth something. Maybe you’re not the best with words but you’re trying to find the way to say what you want to say and be able to understand things from another perspective. At what point do we stop beating ourselves up and allowing to be beat on? There are certainly times where we need to set ourselves aside and be corrected. There are definitely a lot of things each of us have yet to learn about many things. There are things that ultimately no human being should ever be. Why be accused as something you’re not? Why allow someone else to belittle you? Even one of the commandments in the Bible states that you should love your neighbor as yourself. Whether or not you believe in God, I’d say that’s not just a religious teaching but just a basic way of life (that teaching transcends many religions). That would imply that obviously you love yourself already. Cause let’s face it, you are pretty amazing. Yes, you! If you love yourself, you can love other people too. But if you’ve been given a reason to hate yourself, you’ll never truly be able to love someone else. If you’ve found a way to do that, chances are you’re loving them but you’re being abused either by them or yourself.

The world is full of people pointing their finger at everything and everyone and everyone’s trying to maintain their position in life, even at the expense of making someone else look abnormal so they can feel better about themselves. The jokes on all of us though cause the way many people tend to point their finger is index finger pointing towards the object with three fingers folded underneath… pointing right back at themselves. Finger pointing is inevitable. We all do it. It can only be effective when we have ourselves in check and we have the right intentions for doing so. That we’re using our judgement in such a way that we love ourselves and others around us. We use it to find opportunities to grow and learn, not hinder and destroy.


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    Rhonda Lee
    Active Member
    9 months ago

    You hit the nail on the head.The greatest commandments, upon which all other Scripture is based are simple: “Love your neighbor; love God." And preceding those verses is the admonition that you cannot remove the speck from your borther’s eye before you remove the log from your own… in other words, love yourself before you can love your neighbor. I have observed that most people have a need for acceptance and that such acceptance is like a three-legged stool which depends on three legs: love self, love your neighbor, love God… in that order in terms of how you reach… Read more »

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