Bdump, bdump, bdump!! You entered her life. Your SO became part of yours. Smitten, wooed and heralded, impressed and protected, you fulfilled her every dream. You became her knight in shining armour. You picked her up each time she’d fall, you gathered flowers constantly, you came each time she’d call; she drew life from you and she gave it back again; there was love. What she didn’t know (and perhaps you didn’t either), was that there was another woman beckoning you; one inside your very soul, your silky femme soul. A dilemma? Perhaps. Probably. Maybe. Two’s company, three’s a crowd?
It is my belief that whatever there is between your legs, you are actually defined by what is between your ears, or perhaps inside your heart. Your subconscious soul, if you like. And this ‘soul’ is neither male nor female, it is perhaps gender fluid, or (I think even better), it is without gender at all. Imagine for one moment if you will that your subconscious mind has been transported into a person of the opposite sex; whilst you would be adorned with different physical attributes and accoutrements, and yes, you might have a different focus and priorities (perhaps maternal, perhaps self-defensive), it would still be you thinking your thoughts, irrespective.
Your soul does not want to be shackled with any constraints, and certainly not ones just currently fashionable to society, meeting their here-today norms. There is a calling inside you for freedom, in whatever mantle you might choose. And you can justify this calling in many different ways, you just want to be you.
Once on this journey, the direction, speed and intensity becomes more focused. The horse knows where it’s going and, try as you might, it will have its own head, the reins have little effect; the stallion gallops on to meet its mare, neigh, to become its mare. Bdump, bdump, bdump. Tis fun, ‘tis natural, ‘tis you.
And this, in your world is fine, an undeniable calling to shave your legs and take a walk on the wild side. Not only is it pleasurable and giving of comfort, it presents you as you wanted to be, as you were meant to be.
But now, here comes the rub. Many express the view that a GG (genetic girl, but I hope you enjoyed the pun) has more empathy than her male counterpart. As emulating girls, we should therefore (if you accept this predisposition for empathy, I don’t), you should be able to easily put yourself into and walk in her shoes. See things from her point of view. You are taking away her saviour, her protector, her valiant fanciful knight. You are leaving her bereft on the rocks, holed beneath the waterline. This is beyond troublesome, it is potentially catastrophic, for her and for you.
Fear not though, brave knight, for with dexterity of mind, honesty and love, there may well be light at the end of this tunnel. You see, there are a lucky few (I define luck as ability+opportunity+application) there are a few who have negotiated a meaningful path beyond this. Love has endured, and made its way through. The SO has looked beyond the frills and frocks and seen the real you, seen past your assigned gender, and seen into your very soul. Your genderless soul, the one which could not be complete without its femme persona. It can often find its foothold in the fact that in trying to suppress your femme self, you are not yourself, perhaps depressed, not the person who sparkled and bdumped himself into her life, no longer the person she married. Her empathy allowed her to regain her loved one. So, it all ends happily ever after? In this respect perhaps, but as you more than likely know, life’s never quite like that, is it.
If you have an extra moment, please read my poem ‘One Soul’:
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/community/poets-corner/one-soul/
expressing similar thoughts in poetical form.
May I leave you with one final question: “I wonder what our white knight above is wearing under his lustrous suit of armour.” Answers on a frilly handkerchief please.
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Thank you for writing this Valentina , it is a wonderful message to everyone and it really struck me as something I have felt , still sometimes feel as the wife & it reminds me that others , like my husband understand this is hard for us too. Thank you for being truly inspirational 🙏🌸❤️
Thanks Laura. Especially meaningful coming from your good self. Hope all is well. Valentina 💚
Thank you for your thoughtful story. It made me think what it would be like if my wife revealed some profound thing to me which she had kept hidden.
Thank you, Valentina – this is a very good admonition to always consider the perspectives of the ones we love!
XO Shawna
My dear How profound and inspirational I found this article. Well I think this article shows that it’s not just us who have or are suffering in a crossdressing relationship, we also have or are having to think about the other side, our wife, our soulmate. Because in my opinion I think there’s a limit that we should respect, which is to what extent our transvestism can affect our partner. Many times I start to think that the first thing that people always ask when you make these types of statements to your partner is, “What if you’re gay and… Read more »
@OdethCD77 Good advice I am thinking. And, I don’t think I would want anything controlling my life. I therefore tried not dressing for about 4 weeks until I realised what pleasure I was missing. I’m glad I took people’s advice and did not purge. 💚
Thank you for taking the time to write this article. I think we women have a natural desire to have our knight, prince charming, or the rugged cowboy. Some of that is hardwired into us but it’s also reinforced by social conditioning. We also want our husbands to be emotionally available and open with us. The armour can be a source of security but it can also separate us from knowing his deeper true self. Seeing beyond the armour can be a bit concerning especially if what’s there somehow threatens our sense of security. Having the courage and confidence to… Read more »
Great take on this Tiffany. One thing I’ve found with every woman I’ve ever known is they always want to “know everything.” It’s why I’ve never had a problem coming clean to them with my “hobby.” Far from threatening a partner’s security they need to realize that once their partner confides it in them – the relationship is made even more secure if they think about it. You now have the keys to his castle and you can do good with it good or bad. As I’ve told every woman in the past – This revelation can break us up… Read more »
@Tiffany Kaytee Thank you Tiffany for sharing your SO perspective. It is hard for a makes dresser to fess up and share the part of their life which has become undeniable. It would most definitely be a lot easier for us to open up if everyone took it as you have done. ☺️
I came on to the site today to express just such a feeling. Acceptance. And I mean like I’m accepted but it’s still known that I am and will remain that White Knight or for her Prince Charming. I have been dealing with this same exact struggle. As I believe my wife may have been as well. I may differ from a lot as I don’t look to go beyond what I have and cherish atm. UnderDressing in her clothes. As a matter of fact this past weekend solidified that for me. This past weekend was my birthday, and for… Read more »
@W V In my world WV, this would be a most definite “wow!!” moment. Almost like a dream (are you certain it wasn’t?!). We sometimes forget, they are only clothes, but sensual ones at that. Thank you for reading the article and sharing such a positive and truly remarkable experience! 💚
A great way of putting it, thanks for an articulate angle on our situation! It is right to say it is in our nature (stallion will do what it wants). I know a bit about horses and ride, stallions are to be asked not demanded of. I know how emotions and control work around horses, self control as a rider and how honest a horse is with its expression. We know our own ways should need to be expressed. As humans we perhaps lie so much, but animals don’t by any stretch do the same. The power to be the… Read more »
@Sarah Michelle Thanks Sarah for reading the article and sharing your thoughts. Yes, I feel our enjoyment and persuasion is becoming more acceptable and perhaps understood by more folk. It is, after all, fairly harmless. ☺️