“Who Did I Dress For?”
I can’t remember a time in my life when I was not drawn to femininity. One of my first fascinations with women was seeing them dressed up and, in particular, when they would wear pretty red lipstick. My very first experience with actually putting on something feminine was my Mom’s lipstick at the age of 8 years. Not long afterwards it was one of her bras, and shortly after that, other items of clothing.
At this point, I was dressing out of some unidentified urge to be a girl. I was curious and very excited to be entering an area of taboo in a way, I knew that according to most others, this was not what a young boy should be doing; I felt excitement and guilt but could never stay away for long.
As my opportunities to wear women’s clothing built up over the years, my objective changed from curiosity to fascination, and became a contest of sorts with myself. How feminine an appearance could I present?
Still dressing for me, in private and only on that rare opportunity when I was alone. At my age much of my Mom’s clothing and shoes fit me and the more completely I dressed, the more interesting and exciting things became for me.
As I grew up two things changed: first, I grew out of virtually all of the clothing available in our house, a negative for my dressing; second, a younger sister started to wear makeup. My Mom used only lipstick, which I gladly shared, but now my private time alone offered the chance to develop another feminine skill, that of makeup application.
Not being able to dress was a very hard bit of reality, but the chances I had to do my face using my sister’s makeup was a really fun activity and would make a difference for me at a later date.
Fast forward over twenty years. I was now married, still the same person inside, and still having the urge to present in the most feminine way possible. An opportunity presented itself, I had several days alone, and some extra funds. I did a bit of legwork, finding a place that had no trouble with helping a male find a nice feminine outfit. Other bits of exploration found makeup, some jewelry, a wig and some heels.
The four days of shopping for my girly needs and then spending as much of the remaining time in feminine presentation was wonderful and completely dressing ‘for me’. I had purchased my wig, makeup, earrings, shoes, a skirt and top, stockings, bra, panties, slip and camisole, even a nightie. Those four days began my next phase of dressing: learning to style my hair, improving my skills in makeup application and re-starting my practice in using feminine mannerisms, posture and walking in heels—to name a few. Still, the only one involved was me. I dressed out of a desire to be able to look as much like a woman as possible.
This continued for a number of years and my wardrobe grew, as did my collection of earrings, shoes and makeup. Opportunity to dress and practice the things I felt I needed to present the feminine image I was pursuing were few and far between. In the interest of not wishing to have secrets, I chose to come out to my wife—with some kids in the equation—and it was for me, a huge mistake; sharing that bit of information about me hurt my wife and she did not deserve that. Over the next 15 years, I did my dead level best to get over the urges to be girly, purged a few times, but always returned, succumbing to the strong urges inside me to dress and to be my feminine self. Still I was dressing in private, alone and only for me.
My skills in makeup application and ability to walk in heels improved, but my chances to get my girl on completely were almost non-existent. That said, Genivieve had a one-time opportunity to go out in feminine presentation. It was something she had wanted to do for a very long time, (see “Genivieve’s First Girls Night Out”) but still though, dressing only for me.
Fast forward again to perhaps the most horrible time of my life: I lost my wife to cancer.
All my children were now adults, starting their own families and all living far from where I was. After the grieving process and in working to establish a new normal, Genivieve was welcomed into my home. During a period of a little over a year Genivieve was able to assemble a complete female wardrobe and pretty much all that a girl needs. It was at this phase in my dressing that Genivieve began to dress for more than herself. As I began to go out in public more often as Genivieve, my objective became more than wanting to present as feminine an image as possible, but to effect a complete feminine persona. Appearance, style, manners, movements, and in every way possible to try to make anyone who saw me think that what they were seeing was a woman.
So I began dressing not purely for myself, but in a way that others would not find odd or unconvincingly womanly; I wished to blend in. This was a very happy and fulfilling period. I did most everything a woman would do, day or night. Genivieve shopped for everything, from lingerie to groceries, took her car for oil changes, had three makeovers, visited a nail salon to name just a few of her activities en femme.
It was at this time that Genivieve entered a new phase. She was invited out to lunch by a friend who encouraged her to attend en femme. Now, there was another person involved, someone that Genivieve dearly wanted to impress. To prepare for this lunch date involved a number of things that I had done many times, but this time for a completely new and different reason.
The first thing that came to mind as I prepared…what will I wear? For the life of me, at that point I had “nothing to wear”. Other times going out I would put on what I thought would look nice and be appropriate for wherever I was going, but this was different. I wanted to dress to please my companion for the lunch date with my look. A shopping trip was in order, a trip to be done en femme in order to try on potential items. My shopping trip was fruitful, thanks to the help of a very sweet sales associate, with a new pair of jeans, a top and several other articles that were just too cute to pass up; I had my outfit for the date. Next, my hair and makeup. After trying on every wig in my collection, I decided on the red one that I wore the day I bought my outfit as it went with the top very well. The day before, I did and re-did my makeup a few times to try to get it just right; since this was a lunch date, not too dramatic but complete and very feminine. So now, with my preparation completed, I relaxed for the evening after a nice bath, making sure my body was smooth and nicely scented. I did my nails to match the lipstick I intended to wear the next day.
I go into detail here to hopefully communicate the way my thinking and preparation changed from Genivieve simply going out, to Genivieve going out with someone in particular. No longer was she getting herself ready for herself, instead, everything she did was in an effort to please her companion. It is my opinion that what I experienced for that date is what a GG would experience.
That was not the last of these experiences for me. Each one, while different in the details, involved the same thought process in “Who Was I Dressing For?” I cannot describe the intense feeling of excitement, and desire that came about on a date one evening when my date was obviously attracted to my feminine appearance and aroused by my femininity. That evening was the most enjoyable of all of the experiences Genivieve had when presenting in feminine mode.
Today, due to my advancing age and the ravages of a previous and somewhat extensive athletic career, I no longer dress for myself, or anyone else, but I do have the enjoyable memories of a life lived fully and with few regrets.
More Articles by Genivieve Bujold
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Genivieve Bujold
Latest posts by Genivieve Bujold (see all)
- Who Did I Dress For? - February 12, 2025
- Genivieve’s First Girls’ Night Out - July 28, 2017
A lovely, touching post Brina. Thank you ❤️
Wonderful article about the birth and evolution of Genevieve. I found myself seeing a common beginning as you, and a gradual growing with some big steps that change life a lot. I wonder about the later part of life, will I ever go en femme most of the time.
This life is interesting. One never knows how, where, and what it will lead us to.