It occurred to me as I viewed the contest photos for this year’s contest that we all tend to be drawn to… something. Whether it is what we view and decide is appealing to what we desire in our mannerisms and dressing. Some of us have had the same sports team our entire life while others swap their current favorite for another when certain situations arise. As a kid, I played little league baseball for the Pirates; the team I rooted for until the Cubs snuck in around my edges and converted me. Pro football used to be the Dolphins, and I stayed true to them throughout Dan Marino’s career… now I root for the team that isn’t the (#$%!) and generally, they need to have an Iowa Hawkeye football player on their team.

I think we do the same rituals when it comes to (Who) we dress for instead of the nagging question of (Why) we dress. I once commented in a past article that I believe we dress to become the ideal version of the woman that we desire. If I could transform myself into that version, she would be the one that I’d want to be with. She is the one that would catch my eye and raise my blood pressure. It is also who I similarly look towards when scouting out the photos of other CDs, women, and transgendered. That classy, sassy, provocative mature lady. She shows just enough but is more likely the tease than treat. When a woman walks by me in a skirt, blouse, heels, hair, and nails done nicely, her makeup and accessories perfect and not garish, the scent of her perfume lassos me in as easily as the sway of her hips, I’m not only hooked; I’m also envious…

I want her as much as I want to be her. That is the duplicity of this life. I think we all would have searched for that mock-up (had we known way back when) of that vision to call our partner. If we had found them, would we have still navigated to this point on our crossdressing path? Would we have been more satisfied and content? Or… would it have driven us even more crazy? The more I dress, the more I refine some of those expectations. I am also in a constant study of all females (some feminine men) in the manner of how they present themselves, how they wear their clothes, hide their imperfections, walk in their heels, apply their makeup, use their hands to talk, and all manners of body language. I take it all in, process it, and then try to become it. This was so true throughout most of my journey. I realize that I am more than just a CD; I am a person moving along the transgender scale but stuck between the complexities and rewards of both genders. I can only pretend to be that version of desire. I could attempt to become closer to it by undergoing all the surgeries and such, but I still will never be able to be the “Ideal” rendering of that desire.

As a younger man, I could have lived a happy life as a stripper. Those shoes… the sexuality and promiscuity, the “look all you want but don’t touch” persona they had. Then it was the Hot Mama, the yoga guru, tennis star, toned, tan, and on a pedestal too high for me to climb. I’m still (even as I near my mid-sixties) enthralled by the mature executive or society lass who is in complete control of the room when she walks in. She shows her legs and cleavage, smiling when she sees you noticing. Wears clothes to accentuate what is best and hides the rest. Spends as much time perfecting the details as she does maintaining her body. She eats right, exercises, and knows that her makeup and accessories need to match her mood and her agenda. She is clever, sophisticated, put-together, and formidable. She is in control of herself and the subjects she rules. She comes from all walks of life. She might be our neighbor, a doctor, a church secretary, or even the single mother who still dresses for the occasion (and she does it extremely well) that is to be her stage. It matters not if it’s at the grocery store, shopping, eating out, mingling with friends, or sunning poolside.

cross-dress-store-banner

But; back to the original insights. Who do you dress for? This is the complexity that I’m endeavoring to present. I admit that it hinges on the Why as well, but from a different angle. Are we prone to dress for what we miss or desire? Is it our way to symbolize and show appreciation for a particular person? I’m not delving into the fantasy or fetish arena; just the rationale for why we pick the certain style of clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, and mannerisms. An easy answer is to say it satisfies the male wanting within us. Who doesn’t love the hot chick country, gothic, punk, anime, etc. look? Am I dressing as the mature executive because I want to be her or is it deeper than that? Some of us dress to what we miss or felt was the best part of our lives; it could be our mothers, sisters, best friends, neighbors, classmates, celebrities, etc. Something draws us to that vision. It isn’t because it necessarily looks good on us, but it does assuage us, it is part of the pink fog that helps to remove the stress of being who we wish we were instead of who we are. Maybe, it’s much deeper than that!

When I’m in full glamour and I look good, I can’t help but wonder if an alternate version of me, fully woman, isn’t who I should be, who I want to find to be with, or someone I’m trying to impress with my dressing. Why else would I wear the shapewear, spend exorbitant amounts of money on my presentation (clothing, accessories, wigs, makeup, etc.), take endless pictures, endure sore feet, fear getting caught, and all the other incidentals rather than throwing on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, comfy fluffy slippers, a dab of lip-gloss, and call it all good? That’s what the typical woman would do on a Friday night after an exhausting week at work. Not us, and no way. We dress to impress… whether it is for ourselves or someone else.

More than enough for us to ponder this time… Have a great dressing experience, smile at yourself in the mirror, take the pictures, and enjoy the moment!

 

Until next time…

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Fatima Abrams-Cohen
Lady
Active Member
1 month ago

“She shows just enough but is more likely the tease than treat. When a woman walks by me in a skirt, blouse, heels, hair, and nails done nicely, her makeup and accessories perfect and not garish, the scent of her perfume lassos me in as easily as the sway of her hips, I’m not only hooked; I’m also envious…" I have loved women and watching women all my life and I have a few years on you Brina. Now, more than ever I study what they wear, how they do their hair and makeup, how they blend items to show… Read more »

April Flowers
Baroness
Trusted Member
1 month ago

Hi! There are a few situations that define who I’m dressing for at a particular time. First, I dress for my spouse when she purchases clothes, a purse, or other new female item for me to show her right away how it looks on me(and if it fits of course). Outside of that scenario, I dress for myself and then for the office. The way women(cis-females) dress these days in the office is, in my humble opinion, appalling. Thus, male and female workers in the office building where I conduct my business actually look forward to me coming in as… Read more »

Giénne Cee
Lady
Member
1 month ago

@Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish Brina, I do think it is a trend of the times. And I’m ok with it. The world changes. I may be biased, because my girl style is subtle and very casual, but dressing down can still be stylish. Yes, a lot of women just throw something on, and yikes! But I’ve seen women in jeans, sweatshirts, sneakers (all neat and clean items), with low-key makeup, and casual but styled hair, who look beautiful. Today there are a lot of ways to look beautiful.

Davita Divine
Lady
Active Member
21 days ago
Reply to  April Flowers

@April Flowers I have noted a disturbing trend in recent years in world of fashion and decor that may be more about the want to not “stick out," or in other words, to not celebrate our lives with colour, pattern, detail and design. I do feel sad that the joy in life is loss to so many and this is the reason that if the mirror says fabulous back to me, it fills me with the joy and fun I seek.

April Flowers
Baroness
Trusted Member
19 days ago
Reply to  Davita Divine

I can’t agree more. There are winter days here in the Midwest when I observe all men and women dressed in very drab dark clothes. Reminds of those winter pics in the former U.S.S.R.

Davita Divine
Lady
Active Member
14 days ago
Reply to  April Flowers

@April Flowers My god! Who are we, the proletariat! Do we not have something to celebrate? Like the most precious gift, life it’s self? I think this is the main reason that I dress, to find the joy in life that just seemed to be ebbing away and that left me sad. Life is tough for everyone but life is precious.

Suzanne Martin
Member
Active Member
1 month ago

Brina – What an  interesting question and lovely varied responses. I had to take some time to think about this before I responded. The simple answer is I dress for me. If I didn’t I wouldn’t dress. Therefore the why is important and that is because I  like the way it feels when I dress. The feel of the material, the different styles and such. However, it is more complex than that. I only dress at home and my wife and therapist are the only ones to have seen me dressed. I try to dress to be pretty (not an… Read more »

Giénne Cee
Lady
Member
1 month ago

I dress for me. It is a private and subtle thing, at home and in public. My motivation has many layers. I don’t want to be a woman, or present as a woman. I don’t want my dressing to be obvious. I just like wearing women’s things. It’s fun — it feels subversive and naughty. I love the idea of it. Something about simply knowing that I’m secretly wearing some articles of women’s clothing makes me feel good, smiley and complete. I don’t feel a need to display my dressing, so I’m very stealth, subtle, and androgynous in my presentation.… Read more »

Giénne Cee
Lady
Member
1 month ago

Actually, I’ve already been thinking about it!

Orchard Dwee
Lady
Active Member
1 month ago

@Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish when I dress en femme I’m dressing for myself and when I dress as a man I do it for family and for work. Needless to say, I’m always awkward at work, or with family, and I’m totally relaxed when I’m with friends. In a way, I kind of hope that I do get exposed so I can put an end to this oppressive charade of dressing as a man, unless I’m doing some dirty jobs around the house. As you can imagine, when I’m snaking out my sewer line, I’m not feeling particular pretty, so I’ll… Read more »

Genivieve Bujold
Lady
Active Member
1 month ago

@Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish I started dressing as a child out of fascination with femininity. As I progressed, dressing more completely and trying to perfect my feminine look, became dressing for me. When life circumstances made me single again, I was able to fully explore my femininity. During that time, dressing became something I did on a daily basis…for me. During that same time, I began going out and enjoying life as Genivieve. Also during this time, I attracted an admirer, and began dressing for them. That was the most intensely satisfying for me. Doing my utmost to look attractive for… Read more »

Harriette
Lady
Trusted Member
1 month ago

Amazing! That could also describe me and a whole bunch of other crossdressers here.
While trying to be fairly androgynous, too, I am getting a bit more frisky with how I present myself. For example, since before Christmas, I have continuously had nail polish on both my hands and feet. A few women have complimented me for that, but most people have just avoided saying anything.
It’s unlikely that I will be able to do this in warmer weather, so I am getting as much girly time in as I can now.
Cheers!

Davita Divine
Lady
Active Member
21 days ago
Reply to  Harriette

@Harriette , Viva the painted nails, I too have been indulging in recent weeks. Just so much fun!
Cheers!

Cassie Jayson
Duchess
Trusted Member
1 month ago

Hi, Brina, thanks for another great article. Of course I dress for myself. I have in my head swimming a lot of different ways to think of an respond to you. These days I wear a nice colorful and definitely feminine top and usually colorful floral leggings. This is my style around the house along with some nice tennis shoes. When out doing yard work I do wear jeans and a less nice top and a pair of worn out obvious women’s trainers. Just noticing what I am wearing brings a smile to my face. Of course I always wear… Read more »

Cassie Jayson
Duchess
Trusted Member
1 month ago

@Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish Yes the Clones have trouble keeping the good coaches. In basketball a couple have gone to the NBA. Matt Campbell is rumored to be wanted by a number of programs. 
Also hoping everyone here can have the opportunity to do all the CD they want AND keep thier important relationships intact. 
Cassie 

Alice Black
Duchess
Active Member
1 month ago

I dress for myself. I have 2 looks. I like to dress glamorously and ladylike in a formal dress or evening gown. Since I joined here , I have developed a second look – wearing more provocative clothes to accentuate my feminine features. Have fun with both looks.

Jennifer Friendly
Lady
Active Member
1 month ago

Hi Brina, I’ve found that when we go out to eat, shopping or whatever I have a tendency to lean towards that 60s/70s look, probably because those were my more formative years. Just as I still listen to mostly “classic" rock music. I love that the bell bottom and flair leg pants have come back, and I already have a bunch of different styles. But I enjoy that classic secretary style, pencil skirt, white blouse, 4 or 5″ stilettos and wear a version often when we go to dinner. My friend has taught me I have to learn to dress… Read more »

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