Recently I read the wonderful article by our own incredible Captain Di “Finding Your Way Home”; Thank you for that Cap

In the article she mentioned that finding a good therapist or counselor is much like finding a great pair of well-fitting shoes. Most of us have tried on several pair of shoes before choosing the pair that fit us just right and this is the same as finding an awesome therapist; we may have to try on a few before we find the one that fits us just right as well.

Although I am Certified for Life Coaching, Hypnotism with inner child designation and past life regression work and a few other pieces of paper, I too have been visiting counselors, therapists and even psychiatrists since the mid 1980’s. No one is beyond using the services of these fine folks regardless of their own documents.

Transgender Heaven - Gender Journey

I have interviewed dozens of professionals on this amazing journey and in this short article I hope to share a few of the pointers I have learned along the way that have helped me find the ones that fit me nicely.

So how do we find that comfortable fit?

One thing at the top of my “remember list” when seeking support, is that they work with, and for us; we are not obligated in any way to settle for the first person we see simply because they hold a degree.

These folks are not gods, wizards or magicians who can wave a magic wand and fix us either, but rather, facilitators who support us in the process of figuring things out for ourselves. Just because they hold a document and have letters behind their name on the business card does not mean that they have all the answers for “our” journey.

I have learned that most of the answers we seek, other than perhaps medical inquiries, are right here inside of us, right now, and those answers are just buried under years of negative feedback, judgments and garbage information that has been piled up on top of our truth over a life time; Dis-Covering those answers is our job, with the support of a professional counselor or therapist.

I have also come to realize that we do not need “fixing” we are not broken! One day my eyes filled with tears as my amazing wife quietly said to me, “Baby, please don’t ever think of yourself as broken okay, you are not.” And she is right! While some have labeled us not “normal” we are in fact, like the wolf, “natural”.

While I know, as we all do, that CDH/TGH are not places to seek the support of a therapist, because we are not therapists and counselors here, I am very grateful for each of you here who offer what this space has been created for; friendship and kindness in a wonderfully caring natural environment. Here, I am reminded simply by logging in, that I Am Natural. Thank you all for the shoulder and the ear when I have needed that, while seeking a therapist’s support.

A few questions I have asked therapists when seeking to hire their support are things like;

Have you worked with many clients dealing with gender related questions, such as transgender people before? And if so, how many for how long? I like to know that who I am hiring has at least some experience on how to support me on my Dis-covery adventure. It is okay to ask questions.

In the interests of good self care, I will not take myself to seek the support of a therapist who may be well versed in dealing with weight loss issues, but clueless about my gender journey.

Trust your own instinct, your intuition. If it simply does not “feel good” in their office, maybe finish that one session, don’t go back and keep shopping for a good fit.

Ask folks here if they have found a great therapist if you’re in similar areas; share links and names and contact info of therapists with one another here at CDH/TGH to help one another in the search, but do not pressure one another here to “be” the therapist we seek.

When speaking with a therapist, use a few inside terms that unless they are familiar with who we are, they would not know. Gender fluid is one I have used often; when they have no clue what that is, I know they have not done much homework on gender related issues.

Check out their web sites; I have seen several sites while searching the “transgender support” tag but found nothing further on the site related to the topic in the sub-headings where their specialties are listed. Shopping for a good therapist that fits may take some time so be patient and remember we are on a journey of self discovery.

Here are a couple of links I have found along my own journey; if you know of more possibilities that may be helpful for one another, care and share them here and for now remember, we are Natural but we’re not therapists

Until next time,

Namaste’ n huggles


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Dropping out of high school I began touring in the Canadian country music scene at age 17; clubs and soft seat venues, drummer/vocalist for 22 years. After 4 suicide attempts and heavy cocaine etc addiction issues, i decided to learn Self-Acceptance as apposed to self-hatred. I became a student of the Universe and an Instructor of Life Skills at a local College while operating a Private Coaching Practice. Currently, I am rebuilding the Life Coaching practice after a couple years of more personal work well under way. I am also creating online opportunities that will serve our world community…and our world in understanding how I leaned the life skills of Intentionally and Consciously Creating an Amazing Life filled with Passion, Purpose & Prosperity...

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skippy1965 Cynthia
Trusted Member

Char-love the article! and I echo what you said about where the answers are. My counselor told me from he beginning that it was not her job to tell me who I m or what to do. Instead her job is to aid me and guide me on a journey of exploration in discovering who I am. I’m still figuring out my ultimate destination but I know two things-I need to enjoy the journey as well as the ending, and I need to be true to I am and not allow someone else to rob me of the joy of… Read more »

Michelle Liefde
Active Member

Thank you Char for this article! Over the years, I have seen a few therapists for one reason or another and have realized the importance of figuring out whether they will be helpful or not. My mom once told me that you should treat that first meeting as though as job interview with you being the interviewer. Have questions ready and if it doesn’t feel right don’t go back. Finding the right therapist willing and knowledgeable to help guide you is key!


Lucinda Hawkns
Active Member

i don’t have a therapists hard to find one in my area to talk to and would be hard to bring up the subject about me being a x dresser. seeing the reaction on her or him i would prefer a female where they would under stand more. if i could find one in Niagara falls N.Y area i would give it a try to see if that would help me better

Michelle Wang

nice writings and very true

It’s interesting my wife and I were just talking about therapists this morning, and how it’s good to have some support and help from someone who has experience in this kind of area. I myself only just started seeing a therapist in order to work on some internal stuff (see: finding answers and acceptance), glad to see this article here! I used Psychology today and found someone that feels like a good fit, I’m in NYC so there’s a handful of therapists to choose from.

Good article!

Rami Love

Char Thank you for writing this article and everybody else for sharing your thoughts, I found them very helpful. I have my first video therapy session scheduled for this Friday. This came at the suggestion of my SO who said “I really think that you would benefit from therapy, but only if you really want therapy”. The selection of a therapist was primarily based upon insurance coverage. Then it was based upon answering some questions and up pops some faces with their qualifications. All of the providers were relatively young women, so I based my initial selection on experience and… Read more »

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