Many of us, or perhaps even most of us, here on CDH have been crossdressers for most of our lives. And many of us have probably struggled throughout our lives with feelings of shame, guilt, anger, confusion, denial, and more.

That’s because we are “CROSSDRESSERS!” Men who want to dress like, act like, and be seen and treated as woman.

GASP!!

EnFemme Style

For shame… What kind of sick, perverted person are you anyway?

At least, that’s how it has seemed to most of us at times, I’m sure.

And truthfully, why would a real man want to dress like a woman? Why would a real man want to shave all his body hair off and feminize himself to the point where he looks like a woman? Why would a real man want to modify his body shape so that he appears to have a woman’s figure? Why would a real man want to wear lingerie and put on makeup and perfume? Paint his fingernails and toenails pretty colors? Wear pretty dresses and high heels, pierce his ears so that he can wear pierced earrings, wear a wig, and carry a purse?

And even more confusing, why would a real man want to go out in public, no need to go out in public, to be seen, treated and accepted as a woman?

The answer is, he wouldn’t.

At least a real man wouldn’t. A cisgender male would never do those things because he doesn’t have those thoughts and feelings. He doesn’t understand the conflict and confusion that those of us who crossdress as women feel every single day.

So then the question becomes for those of us who crossdress, What’s wrong with us???

And the answer is, well…, nothing. Absolutely nothing.

There’s nothing wrong with us.

And here’s why.

If you think about it, we’ve actually been blessed. We’ve been given a gift that only a very small percentage of the world’s population has ever received. We’ve been given the gift of empathy, understanding, and the desire to experience life from both sides of the gender divide.

En Femme Style

Think about it!

Let’s first admit that we’re not “real men”, or at least not in the sense of being the macho, beer guzzling, loud, obnoxious, opinionated, driven, motivated by power alpha males that society regards as an example of what a real man is. And truthfully, we don’t want to be men like that, do we?

No!

As MTF crossdressers, we’re typically much more in tune with other people and our surroundings. We’re sensitive to other people’s feelings and try not to do things to hurt them. We’re emotional and we may cry easily (which is definitely NOT considered to be a real man’s trait!). We probably like art, literature, music, poetry and maybe the “finer things” in life. We like to have long talks with others. We enjoy sharing our feelings. We like cuddling and quiet times together. We’ve probably had more women friends than male over the course of our lives.

And on and on and on…

In today’s society, those are often considered to be “female characteristics” or “feminine traits”, and in a man, a real man that is, they are looked down upon. But that’s okay, we don’t mind having those characteristics because we’re not real men. Which is why we have the desires and feelings that we have, that we want to experience life as a woman.

That’s why we want to feminize ourselves, dress like women, and go out in public. Because deep inside of us, there is a real woman who wants to be able to express herself in the world, just like the rest of the cisgender females. And because she is a part of us, we have those feelings and traits that are typically associated with women, but instead of denying them, we want to embrace and accept them! And not only that, we want to make them real. We want to become women, or at least as much of a woman as possible, so that we can give life to those feelings and truly express our femininity.

Think about it. Most men, most real men that is, are very ignorant about what women have to deal with on a daily basis. They don’t understand why women are the way they are. And sadly, the reality is that they don’t want to understand women.

But we do!

Not only because we have a similar component as part of our personality, but also because we know that by understanding women better, we can relate to them better and we can emulate them better and more realistically. In effect, we can become better women ourselves, even if it’s only on a part-time basis.

Because we’re crossdressers and want to emulate women, that means that we have an opportunity to experience part of our life from a woman’s perspective. We can experience both the good and bad parts of what it means to be a woman, at least to some degree.

As crossdressers, we tend to focus on and celebrate the many “fun” parts of being a woman, such as pulling on a pair of stockings on our newly shaved legs; feeling the breeze blow across our smooth legs and up our dress (as long as the breeze isn’t too strong and blows our dress up too high); choosing what lingerie and outfit we’re going to wear for the day; coordinating our makeup, jewelry, shoes and purse with that outfit; shopping as a woman; trying on shoes and dresses; walking through the lingerie department without feeling awkward and being able to pick up and try on bras; being able to try on makeup in the makeup departments; being able to share close moments with our girlfriends without being embarrassed; and more.

Koala Swim

If we’re lucky though, we may also be able to experience some of the less than ideal things as well that real women have to deal with, such as being talked down to by men we may deal with while we’re in our female persona; being ignored by men when we’re shopping in a typically “male” department (like at a hardware store); hearing sexist language or catcalls as we walk around; being looked at as sex objects by men; being yelled at for being a “woman driver” by a man if he doesn’t like how we drive; being discriminated against if we apply for jobs as a woman; and more.

However, if we do experience those aspects of life, we should actually be glad, because they help us to understand, at least to a small degree, what it really means to be a woman.

But since we don’t live fulltime as women (or at least most of us don’t), we can’t truly know and experience everything that real women do. We’ll try to come as close as possible to that reality though. We’ll never know what it feels like to have a monthly menstrual flow. We’ll never know the pain in our back that large breasts cause (unless we get implants) or how wonderful it feels to have our own real breasts filling out our bras (again, unless we get implants). But with a good quality set of breast forms, we might come close to being able to experience some of those sensations. And of course, we’ll never experience the joy and pain of child birth. But with some of the lactation drugs that are now available (under a doctor’s care, of course), we might be able to at least help breast feed an infant.

So we have the opportunity to not only experience life as men, but also as women, and because of that, we are truly blessed. Not many people have the opportunity to experience life from both sides of the gender divide. And since we do, we should learn from our experiences as women and carry them into our lives as men.

Being a woman should help make us a better man, a better person. As crossdressers, we have the ability to experience a wider range of emotions, feelings, and situations than men or even women do, since we do see and experience life as both male and female. Sure, modern women can effectively crossdress and wear men’s clothing and styles without anyone around them batting an eye, but unless they’re a FTM crossdresser, they don’t experience life as a man, so they’re still limited to only their female perspective.

Only crossdressers have that unique perspective of living and experiencing life, or at least a portion of it, as both a man and a woman. And as such, I consider us to be extremely fortunate and extremely blessed!

And real men? Well, they don’t know what they’re missing! Can you imagine going through life without the opportunity to be a woman? To never be smooth and soft all over? Or wear pretty lingerie? To never put on dresses, makeup, jewelry, high heels and a wig and go out as a woman?

I certainly can’t.

I’m a crossdresser. I love to dress and experience life as a woman, which not only makes me a better person, it makes me a better man!

Visit Transgender Heaven

 

 

 

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Roberta Broussard
Baroness
Trusted Member
1 month ago

I too, truly enjoy feeling like a woman. It’s almost all I think about these days. The more I dress the more I want to stay that way.

Last edited 1 month ago by Roberta Broussard
Suzanne Jeffries
Active Member
1 month ago

I feel the same way. When I first started exploring my feminine side it was very exciting but now it just feels normal. As a matter of fact, it’s the only time I really feel normal. I shop for groceries, clothes (women’s of course), dog food, vitamins, etc… as Suzanne. Being out and about as a woman and being treated as a woman is the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Roberta Broussard
Baroness
Trusted Member
1 month ago

Yes and I love it. I’ve gotten so comfortable with it that I feal like the imposter when I’m in guy mode.

Roberta Broussard
Baroness
Trusted Member
1 month ago
Reply to  Holly Morris

Thats seems to be common amongst most of us. However, I stay ready to let the girl out any chance I get.

Amy Myers
Baroness
Noble Member
1 month ago

Very nice article Holly, and thank you for sharing with us. Like so many others I used to wonder if this was a kind of curse, but now love my duality and would not want to be any different.
Certainly this can make life complicated, not to mention a bit(!) more expensive but for me it’s worth it!
Amy

Davidamae
Active Member
1 month ago
Reply to  Amy Myers

Yes; Blessing & Curse I’m continuing to see and correct my previous boorish actions. I do believe Dressing has helped me to become a better person. It’s almost comical that what has helped me to be a more balanced person would be what some would label as unbalanced

Davidamae
Active Member
1 month ago
Reply to  Holly Morris

Hi Holly; I just now saw you leave a comment. I’m convinced that Dressing has brought both a balance and a greater understanding to CIS woman’s issues as well as those in the different stages of Transition. By no means to I actually think I know those challenges. I’m just more interested in listening and far more supportive. I honestly can’t answer or explain why I’m a Crossdressing Closet Girl so I’d be surprised if others could completely explain the WHY’s of their journey.

Lucinda Hawkns
Active Member
1 month ago

i to love dressing up all the way, i feel like a real woman i should be with a body figure i have i would pass as one. but for going out in public not going to happen, society is the problem, they don’t understand the cross dressing world. wish they would then more of us would come out of the closet and go shopping for clothing and make the store more money for the cloths we buy. there is nothing wrong with men dressing up as females and wearing a dress or skirt and make up, perfume, bra, panties,… Read more »

Brenda Stevens
Active Member
1 month ago

Holly, you have expressed your feelings being a man and a crossdresser so beautifully. A man who has those deep feminine feelings buried inside his very soul and someone who just wants to feel and enjoy that part of yourself and let it out. Reading this Holly I believe you have expressed and have ventured further that I have in my many decades being a crossdresser…but I FEEL and share your thoughts…they express my feelings so closely. I just loved reading this Holly…and I believe as a very feminine man who loves to crossdress and let the woman inside of… Read more »

Marg Produe
Active Member
1 month ago

Thanks Holly for this well thought out article. I really think that you make many good points but I can also see what Gabriela and some of the others are talking about. When I first learned about my Intersex situation, I felt like it was like a “Curse of the Werewolf” thing and not much of a blessing. I would get nasty comments or threats when I was in public showers or gyms or bathrooms or even bars. Most of my family except for my wife didn’t want any part of it and I learned to do the stealth thing and cover up. Then… Read more »

Jennifer Mills
Duchess
Member
1 month ago

Thank you for a wonderful article. It has only been now, after 50+ years of crossdressing that I don’t feel what I’m doing is “unmanly” and wrong. I have a wonderful spouse who lets me dress whenever I want. I’ll never be able to pass unless I shave off my beard, but maybe some day!

Camryn Occasionnel
Duchess
Active Member
1 month ago

I never was a “real man” for many of the reasons you state in your article.

I’ll never be a “real woman” for all of the reasons you’ve stated.

But I do consider myself to be a real crossdresser and all that that implies. And, for right now, that’s all I ever want to be.

Great article. I see so much of me in it!

— Camryn Occasionnel

Jenny Sheerness
Member
1 month ago

Great article Holly, well said, and thank you. It helps put things into perspective too and really resonates with me. I’m still new at this but totally get all you said.
Hugz, Jen.

Alice Black
Duchess
Active Member
1 month ago

I liked the article. Well expressed and well stated.

Lisa Monroe
Member
1 month ago

love this post, I am new here, and I suffered from self-judgment, and on again off again dressing approach, but this post has helped me see the positive,so pleased I found it

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