Why do men crossdress?

Girl friends and wives want to know.

Why do men cross dress?

Why does my husband cross dress?

How can I make him stop cross dressing?

The unfortunate truth, is that there is no simple, one line answer to these questions. If there were, you probably wouldn’t be reading this article, and the debates on this topic would be silent.

In my personal experience, the fascination with woman’s clothes started when I was very young. I must have been about four years old, and I remember going to great lengths to procure and then wear my mom’s nightie. My most vivid memory is as a teenager, nervously buying a pair of pantyhose from a local supermarket and then wearing them home under my pants.

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I felt (and still feel) a need to wear woman’s clothes, and I can’t quite explain where it comes from. The media like to think of cross dressing as a sexual perversion, and so naturally they see the desire to cross dress and purely for sexual gratification. The problem with this theory is that when I (and many others) first felt the desire to cross dress I didn’t know what sex was.

Many cross dressers I’ve asked describe the need as ‘feeling more comfortable wearing woman’s clothes’. This is sometimes (but not always) coupled with the desire to be seen as a woman. To not just dress like a woman, but behave like one as well, to wear make-up and otherwise pass as a woman. There are others who cross dress for sexual excitement. The need to cross dress is indeed a spectrum.

That still doesn’t answer the question why do men cross dress?

Marcy proposes a few interesting answers to this questions.

One argument is that transvestism of cross-dressing is a way of offering a challenge to society’s preconceptions about gender. Some men cross-dress because they are unhappy at being men. Others didn’t mind the male state, but also like to put on women’s clothes occasionally. Some men cross-dress simply to make a passing social or fashion statement, and some because they have emotional needs that can only be met by the comfort that wearing women’s clothes gives them.

Yet the true reason why men cross dress remains somewhat of a mystery. It is intensely personal, often confusing and sometimes guilt ridden. I’m hopeful that as society grows more tolerant of diverse gender expression we will see more cross dressers and transgendered stepping forward to share their stories. Without the need to justify their behavior, and no longer shamed by society perhaps we will be better able to answer this baffling question.

Comment and let me know, I would love to hear- why do you cross dress?

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  1. stephen stanley 2 weeks ago

    I enjoy dressing up in women’s clothing but do not feel the need to do the wig, make up and high heels. I find that it is a stress relieve for me. I can come home and then have a shower to wash off the day and look forward to putting on my knickers, pantihose, dress or skirt, with or with out slip or camisole and then go about my night doing what I do. I have become someone else and can forget the stress of my occupation and relax as a person. I suppose it is a way for me to let ‘someone else’ take the strain and I can take no responsibility for a while. It is not a sexual thing as I have a partner (female)and we share houses so when I go to mine 3 days a week I am able to indulge in the ‘other side’. I wear women’s knickers every day and my partner knows that. It is for comfort but also it adds an edge to my day and I love it! It keeps me ‘on track’ at my job and in some weird way gives me confidence in what I do. I enjoy dressing up as it is something to look forward to for the day. I also enjoy going into a shop and looking for something different to wear. I go to ‘op’ shops or real shops and pretend it is for my partner but if you are alone (which I was before I met my partner) you can pretend it is for a theme party or relation in strife. I take ‘mans’ clothes into the change room but I have the other clothes in there as well so that I can try them on. When you get to the counter it does not really matter to them as they are getting the cash. I buy pantihose and tights from the supermarket and knickers from any where for ‘your girlfriend’ but I do not do bras as I haven’t felt the urge so far.
    I do not feel feel that I am any different from anyone else and certainly in my normal day no one could say any thing different. Because I may dress up in women’s clothing is a far cry from saying that I an gay. If anything, I would like to think that I am more in touch with who I am than not. We were all born AC/DC but it is to how much extent that it affects our lives and how much we are in contact with it. Cross dressing, I believe is not an AC/DC thing but more to do with escape from where we are. It is a comforting thing and where life does not give us that comfort , we resort to other means.
    Cross dressing is so much fun because for me it has opened up a whole new world of interest. I am more attentive to what my partner wants to wear as she does appreciate my input but also I can can go shopping and not always have to go to Bunnings, Stratco or Super Cheap! Bliss!

  2. Shay Linn: my femme name 7 months ago

    I have been cross dressing ever since the age of four because I shared a bedroom with my older sister who enticed me to do it! A therapist said I had a identity problem. I wish to be a girl, but at the same time like being a guy. I am way to masculine outwardly to pass as a girl; so I dress up privately.
    Even so, I do have the nerve to shop for women’s clothes in public and it gives me such a rush! I have always been attracted to girls and at the same time wanting to be that girl! Lately I have found myself attracted to transsexuals who do not want to transition fully!

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