Why do men cross dress?

Why do men crossdress?

Girl friends and wives want to know.

Why do men cross dress?

Why does my husband cross dress?

How can I make him stop cross dressing?

The unfortunate truth, is that there is no simple, one line answer to these questions. If there were, you probably wouldn’t be reading this article, and the debates on this topic would be silent.

In my personal experience, the fascination with woman’s clothes started when I was very young. I must have been about four years old, and I remember going to great lengths to procure and then wear my mom’s nightie. My most vivid memory is as a teenager, nervously buying a pair of pantyhose from a local supermarket and then wearing them home under my pants.

I felt (and still feel) a need to wear woman’s clothes, and I can’t quite explain where it comes from. The media like to think of cross dressing as a sexual perversion, and so naturally they see the desire to cross dress and purely for sexual gratification. The problem with this theory is that when I (and many others) first felt the desire to cross dress I didn’t know what sex was.

Many cross dressers I’ve asked describe the need as ‘feeling more comfortable wearing woman’s clothes’. This is sometimes (but not always) coupled with the desire to be seen as a woman. To not just dress like a woman, but behave like one as well, to wear make-up and otherwise pass as a woman. There are others who cross dress for sexual excitement. The need to cross dress is indeed a spectrum.

That still doesn’t answer the question why do men cross dress?

Marcy proposes a few interesting answers to this questions.

One argument is that transvestism of cross-dressing is a way of offering a challenge to society’s preconceptions about gender. Some men cross-dress because they are unhappy at being men. Others didn’t mind the male state, but also like to put on women’s clothes occasionally. Some men cross-dress simply to make a passing social or fashion statement, and some because they have emotional needs that can only be met by the comfort that wearing women’s clothes gives them.

Yet the true reason why men cross dress remains somewhat of a mystery. It is intensely personal, often confusing and sometimes guilt ridden. I’m hopeful that as society grows more tolerant of diverse gender expression we will see more cross dressers and transgendered stepping forward to share their stories. Without the need to justify their behavior, and no longer shamed by society perhaps we will be better able to answer this baffling question.

Comment and let me know, I would love to hear- why do you cross dress?

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939 Comments
  1. Monica 8 years ago

    Why? Short answer: It’s what feels natural.

    The longer answer is harder. To get a hint, it may be an idea to ask non-crossdressers why they don’t crossdress. In answering this, they have a problem: They can’t just say it’s because they’re men, because so are crossdressers. So, why don’t they, then? I haven’t heard a good answer to that…

    Alternatively, we could accept the plain answer, that it’s because they’re men. But, that would mean that we’re not men, but some other gender – a mix between men and women, in varying degree. But if that’s the case, and we’re just dressing like the gender we are – are we crossdressers then? 😉

    (The short answer may be the best one…)

  2. Lynn Jones 8 years ago

    I don’t have to do it all the time, but if I go a long time without dressing up, I get very cranky. I really can’t think why this is.

    All I can say is that dressing up makes me feel ‘connected’. I feel as if some internal balance has been restored somehow. It does – as Monica points out – feel natural.

    The thought of dressing up and going out is, yes, exciting – but sexually exciting? Not really!

  3. steff 8 years ago

    I love to crossdress but having difficulty communicating my desires to others. advice?

    • phil 8 years ago

      I may have stumbled on something about male crossdressering. I have been a crossdresser since I was at least 4. I am sure my dad was also. But he clincher for me was when my son revealed to me that he was also. To put this in perspective,because of divorce,my son DID not growup with me. His mother is/was mentally unstable and since she made sure my crossdressing was brought to the fore, neither of us were deemed suitable to raise him. At 2 yrs old, he went to adoptive home. Not wanting to disrupt his life,I made no effort to see him. At 22,we were reunited and he showed me pics of himself in fem attire. Although there have to my knowedge been no studies, perhaps crossdressing has some basis in genetics. I do find it odd that genetic women crossdress often with no ramifacations, yet because I assume because of our idea that women are of a lower social order, It is accepted because it is constrused as emulating a man or the higher of the social order (complete nonsence of course)

      • Patrice 7 years ago

        Wow, I must be in a writing mood this weekend. First of all, thank a veteran this weekend, no matter what your thoughts and opinions are. Do a small volunteer project in their honor….Now, I know it is a big “shopping weekend”, so I’m off to Victoria’s Secret – I saw a panty and garter set with matching bra that I must have, so girls, I’m on my way….actually, I also want to get a gift card for a gg friend….she helped me tremendously the other night with my makeup and assisted me with the right outfit. I had a “date”, yes a date, and he knew all about me. He was very, very respectful. The kiss at end of the night was so thrilling. I was treated and accepted as “Patrice”….so that’s why I need the gift card for my friend. She was so happy for me. She set me up on the date….write to me sisters (rjb7839@aol.com) if you care to. Thanks.

        Patrice

      • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
        Vanessa Law 7 years ago

        Hey Patrice, great to hear from you. Thanks for sharing a bit about yourself. I think some of your experiences would make for a great Crossdressing Success Story. Take a look here: https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/do-you-have-a-crossdressing-succes-story/ and let me know, I’d love to hear from you.

        Hugs,
        Vanessa

      • Rose 7 years ago

        I have been practising crossdressing more than 40years in secret. Please link me with a friend who can help me secure a breast and something to make my shape look like a woman. I live in Nigeria where there are no facilities for crossdressing.

      • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
        Vanessa Law 7 years ago

        Hi Rose,

        I recommend trying to find a local support group. You can find a listing of support groups here: https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/about/crossdresser-support-groups/

        Blessing and good luck,
        Vanessa

  4. Anonymous 8 years ago

    I feel so girlie but I love it. I dressed up for the first time in months. I’m wearing a slinky black dress, tight around my breast with a full flirty skirt. Black high heels, pantyhose, jewerly and red lipstick. I admire and envy those bold ones who post pictures of themselves. I have kept my desires secret for so long I feel like I may explode. Thank you for letting me vent.

    • dorthy 3 years ago

      i just got internet back its been ayear since i was able to post this is so fun getting cuaght up with girl side dressed in my daughter prom dress typing releaseing my male side

  5. Vanessa Law 8 years ago

    Interesting – I hadn’t considered the cross dressing may be hereditary.

    • dorthy 3 years ago

      maybe not heradidty but not having male role model

    • Cheryl 4 years ago

      Come on Vanessa, Really? He will never stop hon and if you try to make him quit, it won’t work. The best thing to do is dress with him hon. Trust me I know.

      Hugs Cheryl Ann

  6. Monica 8 years ago

    When I was a baby my Mother used to dress me in girls baby clothes and I had long curly blond hair, finger curls. She has told me that people used to say ” Oh what a beautiful little girl”. I’ve seen pictures she took when I was about 2 years old in a crocheted dress.Very cute.

    The first time I recall wearing womens clothes was at about 8. I playing dress up with my little sister and the girl that lived next door.I was wearing my Mother’s dress,heels and a Marge Simpson necklace. Of course my Mother has pictures of me from that day.

    My real interest started at about 12. My best friend was a girl. Nothing sexual,just best friends. I comforted when she cried because her budding breasts hurt. Once when we were camping I took a pair of her panties and slept in them. Yes that was sexual,but after a while it just felt natural wearing panties. The rest is history.

  7. Anonymous 8 years ago

    I am only 16 at the moment.. And nobody knows apart from one friend who was staying at my house and sorta noticed the bra and panties lying under my bed, He swore not to say a thing and stuck to his word.. I remember when i was roughly 5 or 6 years old my sister was a dancer, I used to wear her dance outfits, thats my earliest memory.. Since then its all be kept really quiet and i dunno when (Or if) Im gonna tell anybody..

    • dorthy 3 years ago

      when i was kid about your age i went to my aunts and get into to her stuff cause they where on vacation i would go dog sitting and get into there magazies playboy penthouse maybe it was my way of being out with the girls

  8. Katie 8 years ago

    (Unapologetically stolen from a chain email I recieved)

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your site, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend crossdressing, for example, I simply remind them that Deuteronomy 22:5 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

    – When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    – I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

    – I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    – Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

    – I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

    – A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

    – Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

    – Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

    – I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    – My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

    I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

  9. Irine 8 years ago

    this is a wife of a crossdresser,finding out my husband crosssdress i could not understand after 18yr in the army a partrooper and s/f way in the world would he want to be one,i see geting dress in the morning i love him but doing the job chambermaid,i try talking to him is it the unform he like,he told me its the only job he could get as a woman, he looks like a 50yr old woman,i cant belive it looking at him pulling upmy girdile hooking hie hose to it,then my bra 38DDD full slip & white unform black apron,and white low heels his make up pass, when i drop him off after i cry looking at him as he walks into the hotel, can you send me some information thank you Irine

    • TRUELY HURT 5 years ago

      I feel your pain. I found out accidently that my husband was a cross dresser. I cant even begin to tell you how I would like to just end my life. I dont understand this at all. I am so hurt. I feel so betrayed. I tried to listen to him talk but nothing he says makes sense to me. Why did he have to wait till we were married for 4 years to accidently let me find out. Whats wrong with me as a woman? I do anything sexual he wants. I feel horrible, like I obviously am not enough woman for him. How was any of this fair to me? Its been a HUGE lie and I never deserved to be lied to like this. Why couldnt he tell me before we got married? If people want to cross dress, be gay or whatever….thats fine, but to lie and drag others down with you is NOT fair. What about those of us that are innocent in all this and have no desire to be a part of this lifestyle. I no longer feel like a sexy woman, I feel like that has been taken away from me. My sexuality has been taken from me, the man that I though was my husband and my lover has been taken from me. Who am I in this house now, other then everybody’s maid. Well I’m sorry I dont understand and I never thought I could feel any worse then I do now.

      • dorthy 4 years ago

        most r scared to tell wife or spouse or mate cause they dont accept and they will still get there feelings only get deprived i have to try to hide it even thought hey all know

      • Cheryl 4 years ago

        Truely hurt it really sounds like his crossdressing is about you. That is a very common mistake. It is about him. Don’t ask why because even the best pschycologist don’t have that answer. Crossdressing can be a very shameful thing. That is why he didn’t tell you. The man is no less a man and your place in the house has not changed at all. That is all in your own mind. And as far as being innocent? That implies that someone is guilty. The only guilt is that guilt inside your husband that kept him from telling you. Believe me there is nothing wrong with you as a woman, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Now if you quit acting like a drama queen and actually talk to more importantly listen to him with more than your ears you might actually realize that he is the same maqn he was before you knew.
        You are a typical woman. Everybody has to be exactly as society says they should be. There is no room for being different. You don’t even know what the life style is because the media coverage on the subject covers transvestite hookers and generally people with absolutely no class.
        If I have been hard on you it is not because I am a nasty person. It is because I have seen this so many times. Some how there is woman that thinks she is a victim when it has nothing to do with her womanhood or who she is. Most likely he is very masculine man that works and loves hard and you are most likely the most important person in his life. I guarantee he doesn’t love you any less. Can you step up to the plate and be kind of loving woman he needs.

        A little hint. Look at the type of clothes he has. Buy some like them and wear them for him. Men that crossdress 99% of the time wear the clothes they like seeing women wear. Don’t forget the lingerie hon and heels hon.

        Hugs Cheryl Ann

      • very confused wife 3 years ago

        thank yu for your piece written on may 6th it was very helpful to this confused wife

      • vicky mynx 4 years ago

        spot on with that comment!

  10. Anonymous 8 years ago

    I replied to Irine over email. For the other folks reading this I recommended two books:
    My Husband Wears my clothes by Peggy Rudd http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/096267625X?ie=UTF8&tag=crossdressed-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=096267625X

    and My Husband Betty by Helen Boyd
    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1560255153?ie=UTF8&tag=crossdressed-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1560255153

    I also recommended the resources for wives of crossdressers at http://www.tri-ess.org

    I’ll also extend the invitation, that if any of you need a caring heart to share your burden about crossdressing with, please email me (vanessalaw@crossdresserheaven.com), I would love to stand with you during this tough time.

    Hugs,
    Vanessa

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 8 years ago

      Lani, thank you so much for your note. It always warms my heart when I hear about girl friends and wives who display such love and courage. I know it is not easy to accept in your man – it truly does take a special person to be willing to listen, and cry, and love.

  11. ashley 8 years ago

    i wonder were do they put them

  12. Lani 8 years ago

    I found out about my boy(girl)friends cding on accident. Its so funny how when you find womens under garments you automaticly think their messing around but once you find the size 12 heel your pretty sure theres alot more going on! I was shocked and felt very betrayed. But after alot of talking and alil crying I understood that it wasn’t my fault(we can b so selfish sometimes)I said I loved him no matter what. Since then I have been involded with everything and our sex life has never been better! I think if we could stop being so closed minded the world would b a better place. Just wanted to drop a few lines from an understanding and very happy girlfriend of a cd!

  13. Jon 8 years ago

    For me it has to do with self-expression. Society defines certain expected social roles (also called gender roles) based specifically on whether someone has XX or XY. Some aspects of myself fit within the XY category that society claims is required of me, and some aspects of myself lie in the category marked only for those with XX. For so long of my life, I was refused to express those parts of me that are reserved for those with XX, so now it is so awesome to get a chance to dress in way that is complementary with my inner identity, as well as have a partner who accepts and embraces these disparate aspects of myself. To not dress would put me back in the horrible cycles of life where I could not be who I was, and just sought to drown the world out through mindlessness.

  14. PHIL 8 years ago

    hi i came home as a new born in a dress .my oldest sister dressed me like this every day (mom and dad worked alot)at the age of three my ears hed ear rings in them as i got older this was just a normal thing then came the panthose and heels and makeup this was about 1968 yes i have a wife and 2 kids and 7 grandkids witch i love them all very much. but most people dont under stand this at all but as you can see i was raised this way and i like how i am . but i just cant go out dressup my wife would not have it . i am number 6 of 11 kids i have 10 sister and i am 56 now love them all would not have it any other way

    • chris(aka sophie) 8 years ago

      i like crossdressing me and my best friend both do crossdressing and love it he borrows his mums clothes and i borrow both of my mums clothes and they are proud of me crossdressing and really wanted me to be gay but i like women iand i always feel like i am one so me, my best friend, and my mums all go on a girls night out (they do our make up and buy our clothes though) the last noght i did was going to a crossdressers club in maidstone in kent its was really fun and thats where i met my girlfriend i was 16 im now 18

    • Zeljka 8 years ago

      I cross dress since the 10 years of age, I have dressed my sisters’ pantyhose, my mother’s OBG with nylons of all colors, but my favorite was gray, skin, black and coffee. Then one summer holidays I was at a house of our family friends on the coast when a lady wanted to undress and I have had to put a blanket over my head, but of course I snicked “out” for a second and what I have seen – I have NEVER and will never forget: a beautiful strong woman dressed in black bra size E, black open bottom girdle with the stockings of skin color on mighty and long legs…ever since whenever I have a 0,000001% of possibility to put such a beautiful things on – I do it!! Although this lady is old today (it happened almost 30 yrs ago) I still have the same beautiful picture of her before my eyes!

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 8 years ago

      Hey Phil, thanks for sharing your experience. That must’ve made for quite a childhood. Do you remember whether you enjoyed it early on, or whether you were forced to dress as a girl?

      I guess as young as three it may be difficult to remember, but perhaps emotionally impactful events are easier to recall.

      Jon, thanks for bringing up self-expression. For a while my vision for myself was to “Live as who I am every day of my life”. Looking back, the year I took that fully to heart has been one of the better years of my life. Freeing yourself to really live the life that is bursting from inside you. Wow!

      • Erica 8 years ago

        I have dressed since I was 11 (17 years now). My wife and I were discussing this last night, and I have really no idea as to why the desire to dress as a woman is a part of who I am.

        Someone mentioned genetics, and I believe from my own research into alcoholism and depression that cross dressing might be linked to both of these. In some ways for me dressing is like an addiction. This is sensible as I have multiple family members who are/have been alcoholic. Just a thought.

        Erica

  15. Jo 8 years ago

    I should point out that I’m female, but the reasons why men crossdress has never been too complicated or hard to understand for me.

    When I was a young child, I remember wanting to be a boy. I felt I related more with that gender in just about every way. I used to put socks in my shorts lol.

    I was a serious tomboy until about 6th or 7th grade when I started going through puberty. I still liked mostly male-centric things including heavy metal/punk music but this is about the time where I discovered makeup and how much fun it can be. I always had short hair, usually only 2-3 inches long, I preferred it that way but always sort of felt I didn’t look girlie enough compared to my peers. I remember during my eight grade graduation when I wore a floor length gown, I just felt akward like a guy in a dress.

    It wasn’t until the end of highschool that I actually wore a pair of high heels. Sure, I wore shoes that happened to have a heel, but these were sexy, strappy, black, stiletto heels that belonged to my sister and I was used to wearing doc martens. I was just trying them on with a skirt I owned but never wore and it was such an unexpectedly exciting moment. My legs looked long and sexy, my ass looked hot, I couldn’t walk in them but I still felt like the sexiest girl in the world. It felt euphoric and I suddenly knew what the fuss was about. I felt comfortable in women’s clothes and wearing them really boosted my confidence in myself.

    I imagine for men, crossdressing is a lot of the same exciting feelings. Let’s face it, being girlie can be a great amount of fun! It can make you feel desirable and confident and delicate all at once.

    I think society’s stance on gender roles is antiquated to say the least. Obviously, things can never be so black and white or should I say, blue and pink. “Male” and “female” characteristics shouldn’t have to be mutually exclusive. It breaks my heart when something so harmless is so misunderstood and vilified on the basis that it isn’t “normal”. From what I understand, “being normal” seems pretty boring and restrictive to me and I don’t want any part in it.

    The fact that so many crossdressers live in shame or in fear that someone will find out about their secret is heartbreaking to me. I sincerely hope that they can make peace with themselves, and that maybe one day society will follow suit.

    Stay strong, boys and girls.

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 8 years ago

      Jo, thanks for sharing – I’d never though of it like that. It’s wonderful to hear this from your perspective as a women, who grew to love feminine clothes.

      I can definitely vouch for my experience the thrill of looking good, feeling desirable and confident when wearing women’s clothes. If I take it as a purely intellectual exercise it’s somewhat absurd to think that it would be the case, but my experience and emotions tell me otherwise.

      Thanks again for your support Jo – I hope to see you around crossdresser heaven again.

      Hugs,
      Vanessa

  16. Profile photo of Vanessa Law
    Vanessa Law 8 years ago

    Sophie, it’s wonderful that you are strong enough to be who you are. The most important thing is to be true to yourself, even when others have different expectations on you.

  17. 'kayla' 8 years ago

    I never really delved into why I enjoy getting dressed up and in touch with my softer and more feminine side until finding this site.

    I suppose it has a lot to do with the fact that in my everyday world,I am the aggressor and a ‘take-charge’ type guy. When I need a good balance and to destress….I will open up the two suitcases that allows me to relax and luxuriate in satin and silks. I also tend to become much more submissive when dressing and this is why I truly believe my crossdressing really balances out my persona both emotionally as well as spiritually.

    I’ve always said…”If it makes you feel good and doesn’t hurt anyone else….what’s wrong with it?”

    • TinaTVee™ 8 years ago

      G’day, I have been dressing up since 4yrs of age, playing dress up’s with the girls across the road. 39 yrs later, I now wear lingerie everyday, and sleep in stockings or pantihose, with a nightie or babydoll. The wife does’nt like it but she no longer gets cranky. I too just feel more comfortable, when wearing womens clothes, although I sometimes paint my face as it were, that does not really matter. I buy all my own stuff, and always have, with never a problem, although a couple of salesgirls have blushed quite a bit when they finally twigged that I was buying for me and not wife! Just do as you please!

    • William 8 years ago

      Why do men cross dress?
      Why do people smoke?
      Why do people sky dive?
      Why do people …?

      We do what is pleasing and feels good to us.

      As has been repeated over and over again, females can wear masculine clothes and nobody bats an eye. But for a male to wear female clothes and he is ridiculed. But there is hope that this may change in a few years. Men can wear ear rings now in public without shame.

      Also with the internet, this is getting more publicity and more men are wearing female clothes in public. I myself work out in my yard, front and back, in skirts and dresses. Every other week I cut the grass in my skirt or dress. The neighbors have seen me like this and have gotten use to it. They have come over to talk to me about other things while I am in my skirt or dress and they have not said anything. I even had one young woman selling steaks try to get me to buy some while I was outside in a dress. She did not say anything about my dress nor did she appear uncomfortable about it.

      I did one time late at night go to the post office and purchased stamps while wearing a short denim skirt. Other customers in line did not say anything. I also purchased gas for my car while I was out and had to go inside to pay cash for it. The clerk and another person inside did not say anything.

      Only if “everyone” starts going out in public in a skirt or dress will it become acceptable. It just takes being able to take criticism. I hope to get up more courage soon and go to the grocery store in my dress or skirt.

      Being a single male living alone makes doing these things easy for me.

  18. Profile photo of Vanessa Law
    Vanessa Law 8 years ago

    Kayla, that’s an interesting observation, that perhaps the more feminine side brings the whole being into better balance. You need to be careful who you ask your question to though, since I can imagine certain folks who would find something wrong with it 🙂 Here’s hoping that society evolves past this prejudice as well.

    William – I agree, the Internet has been a fantastic thing for the transgendered, and I deeply appreciate all the ladies online who have shared their stories. When you’re alone and uncertain about what is happening inside you it’s scary. With others we have a chance to realize that we’re part of a community.

    I see it as a tremendously positive thing that the next generation would have grown up on the Internet, and largely with less fear expressing themselves (if the videos I’ve seen on youtube are any indication 🙂 )

    Those moments when we can be who we are and be accepted are heaven, aren’t they?

    I agree with you – if more of us started going out in public acceptance would come sooner. I wrote about this a few months back (https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/a-call-to-crossdressing-action-its-not-just-the-transgendered-who-suffer/) – let me know what you think.

  19. penny 8 years ago

    hi all i have been crosdressing since i was about 12 yo am 50 now i was at a halloween party lost at a parlore game and had to don the clothing of oppositte sex. i was dressed totally from panties nylons garterbelrt reel frilly full petty cat and skirt.very nice stuffed bra and sweeter way too much make up also . well the reaction of all the boys and girls made me feel kind of strange in many ways . but i was and am completely addicted to dressing since that evening and always have found ways to dress and more as time goes on and now i raelize that i need more fem timethan i would have ever realized i would luv all cds and wish we all did not hide so much and came out to support and play with each other

  20. DocChuck 8 years ago

    I have been donning women’s clothing since I was a young man. I was lucky enough to find a woman who embraced my fetish and she allows me to endulge reguarly. I like the sturdier of undergarments. Full corsets with garters. I do have to say finding shoes I can walk in has been a real task. At my age, 67, I can hardly wear platform heels. I like the more comfortable shorter heel that has a peep toe. I enjoy painting my nails and wearing light cosmetics. I continue to dress in the privacy of my own home. Sometimes when the wife is home sometimes when she is not. I like to feel comfortable yet have some firm fabrics to hold in my midsection.
    This year I intend to try some wigs. I always wanted to have long curly hair. I am looking at a wig catalog currently to try and see what I might choose. It is very nice to find a space to discuss these things with others.

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 8 years ago

      DocChuck, that’s awesome! You are truly blessed to find such a special woman.
      Would your wife be willing to go to a beauty store with you to try on the wigs? That could be a fun, bonding experience for you girls.

      Hugs,
      Vanessa

      • fayyee 8 years ago

        nervous

      • Rain 7 years ago

        I just wanted to say something along the lines of what Jo mentioned. I am a male, and cross dress, for what reasons I do not know. After reading what Jo mentioned though, I felt like she might be on to something. I thought about some things that help me, and about the way society is today. Well, I live in Japan, and the society was different here back in the past. The typical clothes in Japan were not much different for women and men. Long flowing silk dresses. I own both womens and mens kimonos, and have to say, that while I do get excited wearing womens kimonos, I actually feel much more comfortable and enjoy wearing mens kimonos better. A kimono is no boring ordinary thing. It takes a lot of time to put on (and take off 😉 feels great, and really makes you stand out. A mans kimono makes me feel confident and really seems to give me peace. They are still worn today in Japan, and it is an accepted attire. It might be something that others can look into. It might help. Or at least help you figure out some of your own feelings too. When both my girlfriend and I are wearing kimonos it is some of the most enjoyable times I ever have.

      • vasanth 7 years ago

        I am cd from my 15 years… iam unhappy to be a men.so i like to be women,so i wear sarees,chudis and i want to become a women.please help me.

      • Charity 7 years ago

        Another very happy girlfriend of a CD here. I loved dressing up and girly things like doing our nails and hair with my female friends when I was younger, and doing this with my boyfriend now brings back pleasant memories. It’s still just as much fun. I love buying clothes, especially sexy panties, for him. Part of the fun in that is that he can wear much smaller sizes than I can, those sexy clothes for smaller-sized women, and I think I live vicariously through him a bit in that way. Having sex with him is a strange mixture of like/not like having sex with a different person, too, and I enjoy that as well. Now I’m not sure I’d ever want to have another boyfriend who DOESN’T crossdress.

      • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
        Vanessa Law 7 years ago

        @Charity: Wonderful to hear from you love! My heart soars when I hear from women like yourself who have not only accepted their husband’s/boyfriend’s crossdressing, but rejoice in it. I think at times as crossdressers we find it so difficult to accept ourselves that the thought of another loving us not just in spite of this, but in some way because of it, is a powerful message!

        @Chloe: Hon, I’m so happy to hear that you’ve found such a special person in your life who loves you for who you are!

      • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
        Vanessa Law 7 years ago

        Rain, that’s an interesting observation – perhaps for some people it’s not so much about the clothes being of the opposite gender, but the quality and extraordinarity (if that’s a word) of the clothing. Boring, dull and scratchy is difficult to fall in love with. Sensuous, silky flowing gowns stand out and make you feel good – even if they’re traditionally men’s clothing.

    • Maria Jackson 8 years ago

      I am a gay man and I am 60 years old and considering getting into cross dressing. It’s an idea I have thought of many times but never seriously considered until I met a guy online a few hours ago who told me about his desire to meet a cross dresser and how he wanted another guy to play the female role. I told him about my having a mustache and he said he couldn’t handle that. When I offered to shave it off for him he told me more about being a “gurl” as he referred to it and I realized it was something I want to try. He sent me his picture and told me to get back when get my new look together. I feel excited by this and feel like I can start a new life even though I’m 60. I’m trying to find anyone who can give me advise. I’m shaving off the hair on my face before going to bed.

      • Valerie 8 years ago

        Why do men crossdress? Well their brains are hard-wired for it.

        About 50% of males will dress in women’s clothes some time in their life. They will do it as a joke, to amuse others and have a laugh. They will not feel any emotional connection with the event. If you are in a war and capture some prisoners and make them wear feminine clothes, it will considered torture, and the world will be shocked. However, about 10% of normal, healthy, heterosexual men will say the whole idea is wonderfully pleasurable.

        What is doing on with those men? Well, its in their brains. Their brains are hard-wired to release dopamine and other neurotransmitters when they feminize themselves. These neurotransmitters are powerful chemicals. They produce sensations of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratification, and self-identity. They affect the reward centers of the brain and thus mimic the addiction response. These men feel as if they NEED to crossdress.

        Their crossdressing may begin as a small child who admire girls and feminine things. They may believe that girls have it better in life than boys. Their early crossdressing may be an attempt to pretend to live as their idols. Most crossdressers have their first experience during puberty. Their hormones are just beginning to flow, and their experience is very memorable. They may get an immediate errection, the may get goosebumps, and their body may quiver. It’s like, WOW!! What was that!

        In youth, crossdressing may be closely associated with sex and masturbation. As the crossdresser ages, it gets harder to generate the same stimulus. He may still find comfort and relief from stress by crossdressing. He may work harder at creating a female alter-ego. It’s all part of an effort to increase the release of neurotransmitters.

        Here is a simple experiment to determine the association of self-feminization with neurotransmitters. Dress up in your favorite feminine clothes. How do you feel? Wonderful? Good. Now masturbate. When you masturbate your brain releases a rush of neurotransmitters followed by a depletion of them. Immediately following your masturbation how do you feel about your feminine clothes? Most will admit they feel disgust with their crossdressing (for a few minutes). At this point these men are experiencing the same sensation to self-feminization as the other 90%.

        Crossdressing is neither good nor bad. However, since it mimics the addiction response you need to keep things under control. If you do not control it, it will control you.

      • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
        Vanessa Law 8 years ago

        Maria, thanks for sharing your comment – I can whole heartedly recommend crossdressing (though I’m a bit biased 🙂 ). Growing up in a less tolerant time, you’re probably already used to the social cost of being different, which is the one caution I would give someone who was considering crossdressing as a choice.
        Take a look around Crossdresser Heaven, I’ve got tips on everything from dressing to makeup to feminine deportment. Let me know if there are other areas you’d be interested in hearing more about.

        Best wishes,
        Vanessa

  21. Will 8 years ago

    I’m a 45 year old outdoorsy male in Idaho and Wyoming and I’ve crossdressed since I was about 9 or 10 when I found a pair of high heels in the garage that was going to be donated. Shoes are main thing but I also wear other things that enhance them: nail polish, pantyhose, toe rings, leather pants, skirts, most anything except wigs and makeup. I love women and have never been gay. It’s just the feeling I get when I wear womens clothes and shoes (gotta have the shoes – heels, boots, clogs, or sandals) Yes, it’s so fun to me and gets me really aroused. But, it’s more than that. Most importantly is that the props of womens clothes and shoes help me get closer into the spirit of the sexy women I love so much. So I feel the the cross dressing helps me be more complete of a man, not less.

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 8 years ago

      Hi Will, so true – it’s hard to define, and can’t be captured by just a sexual feeling.
      Tina – great advice! Do as you please, and be confident while you’re doing it.

      • Janet 7 years ago

        So we ask why do we crossdress..? It is a question more of being who we are. I do because I fell right. I fell normal and natural. Do I like the guy in me most of the time. But do I like the girl in me, the one who has the eye for color and what looks good and casual. Yes!!!! But do I sexually enjoy it, No not to what you would consider sexual as per societies limited perception on gender and the roles we play.. I don’t get off on the clothes I live for my clothes.. I enjoy being in as much women’s clothing as I can to the comfort I fell when I am out doing things guy or girl… I want to pass more readily because shopping is easier but 24/7 I haven’t comes to terms with yet.. Another battle and another time… But I dress to be me!!!!! Does it matter how I look or what my sexual orientation is? I enjoy me that is all that matters.. After that is is society that leaves me stranded.. Luv Janet

  22. Justina 8 years ago

    I have been crossdressing since I was 12. I 1st got the urge to do it when I was watching a spanish movie with my parents where this guy put on his wifes panties on accident. Seeing that made something in my brain trigger. It seemed so naughty to me and the panties looked so pretty I jus had to try it! I have 3 sisters so it was easy for me to get a hold of some nice underwear. It was a pretty pair of pink bikini cut panties with a heart on the ass that said “cute” on them. I got an instant erection!! It was the naughtyness, the sexyness, and the fact thatI didn’t have to sct tough that instantly made me love it!
    Now I’m 31 and still do it. Although I’m still in the closet about my crossdressing I’m slowly reavealing my secret to my friends (all of them girls). I guess I’m scared that they might think I’m gay but truth be told I love women. I just also love dressing like them too. For Halloween I dressed up as Amy Winehouse and was out and about loving life!!! Now that I did this I’m absolutely gonna go out again all dolled up (I’m glad I live close to Hollywood where theres all kinds of drag clubs).
    So to answer the question, I do it bacause I feel fabulous. pretty. fem. and I LOVE IT!!!!

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 8 years ago

      It’s amazing the things that can trigger it – quite lucky to have such an abundance of clothes so close by 🙂
      What a life affirming answer! I do because I feel fabulous. What a wonderful way to live every day of your life!

      • Sam Davey 7 years ago

        firstly I would like to say thanks to everyone that has posted on this thread as it is comforting to think that I am not ‘alone’ in this world. I first began to dress when I was 12 or 13. I am now 37 and have been married for 8 years. My wife does not know and I do not think that she would be very supportive. I have tried to talk to her about it discreetly but I sensed that she sees the traditional male and female roles are necessary in the relationship for it to work and adding a third ‘person’ would cause an inbalance.

        My mother is getting re-married later this year and my wife and sister will be bridesmaids for her. My mother sent a text message to me (as she did not have my wife’s number) to confirm the date of the next dress fitting. This then led to a long tongue in cheek conversation that I wanted a dress fitting too including what under-garments I should wear. She said that she would arrange one for me but I dont think that it would have been a good idea to ‘come out’ in that manner.

        I love my wife dearly and idolise women in general and have no ‘gay’ inclinations. I think that my desire to dress is borne from a love of all women and what they represent increasing my want to be part of their ‘club’. I work in an industry that is gender generic as a travel software trainer and would love to go to a new client dressed but I think that would be some time away yet.

        I found this site through a web search engine and will be keeping track of it as I am really thankful for the understanding that I have read so far.

        Many thanks, Sam xx

      • not understanding 7 years ago

        My dad is a crossdresser and even though I love him I do not understand why he would do this…

        I am open to people choosing whatever life style suits them but can you please help me understand if you know you like to wear womens clothes why not choose a lifestyle that is suitable to your needs. Why would you involve a woman that wants to have a normal life and kids?

        Even though you say you feel alone, have you all of you felt what this might to a family or to the children of that family? I think it is brave for those that seek their happiness without involving people that obviously do not want to share the same fantasy?

        So why did you get married?

        My dad hiding this from the family has caused such distrust in our family. Our relationship is toxic because he will be gone for days and we will not know where he is. He has spend money when we didnt have any so he could play with his fantasies. I think that any of you that are married and have children and do not tell your wives upfront before adding more people into your own selfish lifestyle just really makes me mad.

      • NoOne 6 years ago

        I agree that it is completely selfish to not tell someone that you’re a cross-dresser before getting married, or even engaged. In my mind, how can they know me if I’m hiding a major or even minor part of my life. I’ve lost relationships because of this, but I don’t see them as losses, I see them as another chance to find the one that will accept me the way I am.

  23. Chloe 7 years ago

    My soon-to-be-ex-wife knew about my cross dressing, & barely tolerated it. I don’t pretend to understand it myself, so why should I expect anyone else too? I’m just much happier as a woman. I don’t hate being a man, I just need to be girly sometimes. I always thought “if I could only find a woman that liked my crossdressing, I’d be happy” Well now I have! I’ve found the perfect girl friend. It just does not get any better than playing dress up with her. We have such a great time together. Sometimes I’m a man, sometimes I’m a woman, but she always loves me. I no longer feel ashamed of what I am, and that is the greatest feeling in the world. So keep looking guys/girls. That special person is out there, just waiting to buy you some pretty panties!

  24. Kevin 7 years ago

    why do I crossdress?

    I crossdress because I like the feeling of womens clothing on my body, it makes me feel so sexy. I feel like the women’s body is the most beautiful thing in the world. I have never told my family of my fantasies of being dressed up all sexy like a women. My wife would surely not understand. I have a girlfriend though that understands fully. When we are together she even helps me dress up by applying my makeup and helping me find the right things to wear so that I look good in my outfits that I wear. I have gone out dressed up in the past. I am at the point in my relationship with her that we want to go out together as sisters. I have a feminine side in me and she loves to let me bring it out. One other thing, we have sex all the time when I am dressed up like a woman and the sex is the best I have ever had.

  25. Kenneth Brix 7 years ago

    Kevin said he likes to cross dress because “I have a feminine side…”

    I like his answer and I think it is the main reason I like to do it as well. Most—if not all of us men—are part female, and to dress that way (at least occasionally) seems entirely natural to me.

    And by the way, Deuteronomy 22:5, when properly translated, does NOT prohibit cross dressing, a fact I recently learned which causes me to love God more than ever!

  26. Raechel 7 years ago

    I dress because I love fine clothes and the highest of heels. I feel wonderful while wearing skirts and heels. I’ve shopped as a man for womens clothes and find most sales people are not too concerned. Some are just wonderful. I found the most wonderful shoe boutique about a year ago and it’s my second home. The sales staff (my girls) are the sweetest things in the world. They have been so nice and accepting of me. I really think I’ve made an impact with them too. The more folks we show who we are and the more people that see us as real people the better for all of us. I actually went out for the first time in daylight today. So I had to go shoe shopping. I told her I would some day and you should have seen the smile on Grace’s face when I walked in. I wish they had all been there. She did take a photo with her phone to show the others. I love them young ladies.

    Don’t be afraid to go out, Be who you are. Be beautiful and be proud. There are folks out there that are understanding and accepting of us all.
    Love, Raechel

  27. Patrice 7 years ago

    I feel so relaxed when I dress as a woman. The feeling of pretty lingerie under a dress or skirt and blouse combo is unbelievable. I feel less stressed and can really relate to my feminine side. A woman is so lucky to be able to wear such pretty things, from undies to their outermost garments. I love wearing makeup and a pretty wig. Heels and stockings ( I prefer control tops over garter and stockings) are tremendous. Nothing like smooth sexy legs. I am completely hairless on my body with exception of one place. I practice being a woman all the time. Oh, I’m so jealous. I live alone and can dress up whenever I want. Patrice has her “girly” room and spends most of her time using that room rather than my guest room. My gg friends accept me as a “girl”. They encourage me to bring my feminine side out as often as possible. I love hearing from other girls. Feel free to contact me at rjb7839@aol.com. Have a great “fem” day girls. I wish more woman (real ones) would dress as woman, sometimes they just put on jeans and blouse and sneakers….although so do I. I can see at end of day, for most girls, they feel great taking off their bras and getting relaxed in their own way. I prefer to wear a bra as long as I can everyday. As mentioned, to me it is relaxing. I also wear makeup, etc. regularly. Hugs to all.

    Patrice

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      @Patrice – it’s wonderful to hear you have such a good experience expressing your feminine side. You truly are blessed to have so many wonderful girl friends who accept you as you are.

      @Raechel – Wow! I’ve had salespeople be helpful, and sales people not really hassle so much, but WOW! That’s wonderful girl! It’s so true what you say – showing people the real you is a powerful and healing thing for both of you. We spend so much time these days pretending.

      • crystina 7 years ago

        to me crossdressing is more than just wearing the cloths and makeup. most of my life (and still going) i have felt that i am more like a stage actor playing a part. i play the part of the all american boy who played football, dated cheerleaders, and acted agressive. i also play the part of the good son who cares for his parents and is the dependable man everyone can turn to in need. but when i dress even if it is only a little makeup for 5 minutes to have a quick smoke i feel as if i am me. it feels like i am stripping away all those costumes and finally going off stage to relax. i am lucky enough to have a wonderful wife who knows all about my dressing and supports and loves me no matter what. just last month we went on a 3 day trip with me dressed for over half of it in downtown houston. we went sight seeing, shopping, out to eat, everywhere and you know what i got great responses from alot of people. granted there were a few bad ones such as when we went to the aquarium these 4 teen girls were making snide remarks about me but i say all in all it was a great outing. and next week im planning to goto the mall and were going to go walking round the mall window shopping and picking out things for me to buy. so i view myself as more female in mind than male and being the male role as a brilliant piece of acting but an act i hopefully one day can lay down for good. now this does not mean i plan to have SRS as i am very much atracted to my wife and plan to keep it that way lol. but i wouldnt mind FFS or breast augmentation one day but till then i will console myself with the knowledge thant i am me and i am theire view of me but i am still me weather in a dress or in pants and a shirt. as rupaul says “you got to love yourself first honey cause if you dont how the HELL you gonna love somebody else?”

  28. Daniel 7 years ago

    Honestly, I personally cross dress because I try to ignore sex and gender boundaries in life. Dresses, skirts and (for reasons I can’t explain) high heels feel very loose and comfortable to me, certainly much more so than suits, so I wear them whenever I can (not very often, since I’m still a minor and my parents disapprove…) I also wear other general women’s clothing, like pants and shirts. To answer the question more concisely, I cross dress because some pieces of women’s clothing are just really awesome, and I would wear them if they were men’s clothing instead. I am sort of tempted by the idea of trying to pass as a woman, although I have not yet tried it.

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      @Daniel – congratulations for being willing to explore who you are while you’re young! It’s important that you’re open to your feelings, and allow yourself to grow and learn. I’d be interested in what other folks think – would you wear woman’s clothes even if fashion changed and they were actually men’s clothes?

  29. Daniel 7 years ago

    Thank you! I’m not entirely sure what your question is asking, but of the gender of clothing switched (that is, currently male clothing people female clothing, and vice versa), I would wear both types of clothing, although then I would tend toward wearing the (newly) male clothing more often, again because my parents push for male clothing. Although honestly, I must say that I like currently female clothing better than currently male clothing, on average. It tends to be much more comfortable and colorful.

    • Daniel 7 years ago

      Sorry, in my second sentence I accidentally typed ‘people’ instead of ‘became’. No idea why… The parenthetical should read “(that is, currently male clothing became female clothing, and vice versa)”. My mistake

  30. Patrice 7 years ago

    Great thoughts, Daniel. I wish you well as you start out towards womanhood. You will find each day more exciting than the next. As you mentioned, female clothes are so much prettier and more colorful. Pretty styles, heels, makeup, lingerie – oh, how we love these. I’ve been “dressing” for more years than I want to remember. One thing I’m sure of, Daniel, is that I completely love and adore dressing as a girl. I wish you well as you take “your first steps in your pretty heels, stockings, etc”. You will love, and wish you were, a real girl. Hugs.

    Patrice

  31. Leon Martinez 7 years ago

    rather than to ask yourself why men dress this way i would ask you to think more logically rather than emotionally.

    because as a man i have found the truth and that is that, what have women faught for in the past in regard to jobs social factors.

    the first instance was for political conquest in regard to being able to vote, this was only for men to a new PM. Also you now have the opportunity to get paid the same as a man, you also have the oppotunity to wear MANLY Garments from past generations and call it fashion. this was when you were fighting for WOMENS LIGBERTIES, that is part of an act to not discriminate against the sexes. but today we see that only women being able to wear what the hell they want to and call it theirs

    also i do not think that anybody in the world thinks logically anymore in regard to finding the answers for themselves, as you would rather like to get answers from common conquests like “that is wrong”.

    what is wrong, what is right, who is correct, who is incorrect, why does it have to be this way, why not that way, ask yourself more questions and you should obtain more denied truths from the masses because they were told that.

    so for me. it is one way trying to brake away from the norm and to be my self.

    now ask yourself this.

    Tell Me what is the absolute definition of normal is to it utmost potential.

    THE ANSWER……… Being yourself.

    otherwise you are a collective and hive of the same person beside you a clone for instance

  32. Patrice 7 years ago

    I crossdress because I feel female most of the time. I feel so comfortable putting on a pretty bra and nice pair of panties. I love wearing my control tops over the panties. My toenails are painted 90 % of the time. Of course, my legs, and most other body hair is gone. I usually use a hair remover for my chest, or on places wear I can’t shave. My figure is feminine. After I put on a dress or skirt/blouse combo, I’m starting to feel like a woman. I love to do my makeup, from eyeliner, mascara, rouge, lipstick, etc….girls are so lucky. A nice pair of earings (pierced) along with my wig and shoes and handbag (always carry female essentials in my bag.) I’ve been dressing for over 40 years now. Probably, your everyday woman thinks nothing when she clasps her bra…I think how great a feeling it is. I love to let my boobs (yes, I have baby boobs) fall gently into the cups. I love seeing the outline of bras on women…I wonder what they think when they see my outline. I work in a small office and go as “Patrice” pretty often. One of my most exciting things in my life was when a goworker asked me to accomppany her to her OB/GYN appointment. It was heaven sitting in the office. Other women just smiled at me as they looked up from reading, Cosmo, Bride, Oprah magazines, etc. Of course, I was NOT examined for medical ethics. The doctor, because my friend was last appointment, let me come in to see an examination room. I was SO jealous when I saw the exam table and stirrups….I wished I could have been in a hospital gown for an examination. I live my life as “Patrice” about 80 % of time. I could go on and on telling some of the beautiful feminine things that I have encountered over the years. Otherwise, my sisters, let’s enjoy our make believe “womanhood.” I hope I wasn’t too long writing this……Patrice

  33. Patrice 7 years ago

    I misspelled “coworker” in my above story…let me know if you ever want to hear more about my life. I love being as “female as possible.” I really wish I was – I’m sure many/most of us do too.

    Patrice (again)

  34. Ezmyrelda 7 years ago

    Honestly I can’t understand it. From what I have been learning about the whole umbrella; There are three different groups. These are my own impressions and are based on MY experience.

    Transvestites: Gay men that dress up in drag.

    Cross-Dressers: Straight men that absolutely identify as men that occasionally dress up in womens clothes.

    Transsexuals: People that were born into a physical sex which does not match their internal gender.

    For myself, I am a mtf transsexual. I really don’t understand cross-dressing because whether I am wearing mens clothes or womens, I still feel internally feminine.

    As soon as I realized with the full weight who I was I decided to stop wearings mens clothes almost entirely. For me, I felt like society had been making me cross dress for most of my life. It’s not something I can step away from and this is my impression with cross-dressers. That there are special times for the special clothes and then thats it for the week. As a lesbian I think that women are gorgeous whatever they wear whenever. But how is it that straight men want to see themself as somewhat feminine for a while and then go back to being a manly man the rest of the time. Whatever makes one happy is great but I feel like cross-dressers might just be transsexuals that are extremely good at repressing. The only way I have been able to stay sane is by seeing the progression the hormones have been having on me. Clothes are just clothes but feeling right in the shell I’ll have to wear for the rest of my life is 1000% better than any feeling I’ve gotten from putting on a piece of clothing.

    But as I said before; If it makes you happy.. cool whatever.

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      Hey Ezmyrelda, thanks for your comment.
      I agree that one way to categorize people is into transsexuals (born in the wrong body) and cross-dressers (who identify as their current sex but enjoy dressing in clothes of the opposite gender). Though it’s never quite so easy, and I’ve met many woman (myself included) who are somewhere between those two.

      Transvestite can be a somewhat loaded term. Some people do use it to refer to gay men in drag, yet others reserve the word ‘drag queen’ for these folks. I think it’s important to realize that sexual preference and gender identity are two separate concepts, and you can mix and match both to your heart’s content. There are also those whose gender expression doesn’t match their gender identity, e.g. who identify as a woman, but present as a man or androgynous.

      It’s a great, diverse world of gray out there 🙂

      I do have some concern when you say that you feel cross-dressers might just be transsexuals that are good at repressing. In a sense, this denies the validity of the crossdresser experience. Just as those who are cisgender (identify as the gender they are born), may tend to look on those of us who are transgendered and not understand how gender identity could be any other than what we’re born with.

      My greater worry, though, is that this starts to create divisions within the transgender community. In truth, I believe that the crossdresser, pre-op transsexual, post-op transsexual, no-op transsexual and everyone in between all try to live out who they are inside. For some this means being a woman, for others it means being a woman, for a time, and then enjoying who they are as a man.

      But you made me happy at the end. If it makes you happy… cool whatever. Live and let live. Because really, who are any of us to judge the experience and realities of another person?

      Hugs and blessings
      Vanessa

  35. Sam Davey 7 years ago

    Hi Vanessa

    I really do think that this website and forum helps as until I found it, I felt very alone without any way to air my feelings. I am not in a place where I am ready to speak to my wife about this so having some ‘kindred’ spirits really does help.

    Obviously the site is there for anyone to post on, I think that everyone needs to realise that not every situation is the same and so they cannot be pigeon-holed into this or that.

    If I had to choose a label for myself, I do not know what that would be. Clearly I have the body of a man, but I enjoy the look and feel of clothes dictated to be for women and wish that I had the body shape that the clothes were designed for. I am not gay and have never had any homosexual desires. In fact I adore women although very recently my eye has moved on from how attractive they are to how are they dressed, even to the point that I think to myself, “I wonder where she got that skirt/top/belt/jacket/shoes/etc”. I do not desire to have SRS (at the moment) but I would like to live the life of a woman, even if just for a short time to see whether it fits better than the life of a man. I have always done the things stereo-typed as male activities such as playing soccer, computer games, war games etc but I also had a strange affection for those on the other end of the spectrum too, for example, home economics, cooking, needlepoint.

    I guess it is fair to say that I am a little confused :S

    Sam x

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      Sam, thanks for stopping by love.

      As you can probably see, you are not alone 🙂 There are many here to offer your love, support and encouragement. Have you had a chance to read any books on the transgender experience? I highly recommend Helen Boyd’s book My Husband Betty

      I find that talking with others (even online) is great to help me learn more about myself. Reading about the detailed experiences of someone who has been through it (like Helen) is also a soul searching experience.

      Hugs,
      Vanessa

  36. justin 7 years ago

    hi i am a 18 year old guy and want to be a women i am not gay i just want to be a lesbian…i love to dress all out in my moms bras and panties,dresses and bathing suits i love to wear make up i would like to tell my mom and ask her in some way to let her know i love doing this but i dont know how even if she could just walk in on me in her clothes what do i do and all crossdressers add me on msn justin_bruce2009@msn.com

  37. justin 7 years ago

    i made a mistake add me on msn my email is justin_bruce09@msn.com

    • Ragina 7 years ago

      Hi justin, My cd name is Ragina. I just wanted to drop you a quick line to encourage you to be the woman that you want to be. I, like you started crossdressing at an early age and I enjoy it still. I am married and have several children. Though most of them know that I wear panties instead of male underwear, they really don’t know all that I do.Hang in there.

  38. Sam Davey 7 years ago

    Hi Justin

    There are lots of questions to ask so I have sent an email to you.

    All the best

    Sam x

  39. justin 7 years ago

    hi sam please email me with those questions asap at jabruce2001ca@yahoo.ca

  40. NoNameYet 7 years ago

    As far back as I can remember, I wore pantyhose. Once I was old enough to realize that they were womens clothing, I tried to quit, but I could not. I am almost 40 and married to a accepting wife. I own more panties and pantyhose then I do socks and underwear. Here lately, I have wanted to get into the whole CD thing. I told my wife that I just purchased a pair of heels online and she was a little uncomfortable with it at first. I tease her all the time and she has opened up a little. I just want the damn things to get here so I can put them on. I have been researching dresses and other feminine garments, any advice would be greatly appreciated. I envy those that have the “balls” to go out into public in womens clothing. I have just reached the point of wearing shorts w/ shaved legs in public. I refuse to wear pantyhose w/ hairy legs. I am not getting younger and I realize that if I still want to do these things while I still have a decent body, I need to hurry.

    Thanks to all

  41. Yvonne 7 years ago

    I have, to some degree crossdressed since I was 9. My grandmother, out of curiosity on my part, let me try on one of her full slips. I ended up enjoying it so much that I wanted to wear it again the next day, which she let me do. My parents both worked at the time. My brother tried it , but didnt feel about it the same as I did. Anyway, a couple of years later, my grandfather passed away and my grandmother moved in with us, and all the time she was with us (about 13yrs) I would from time to time put on her old dresses or pants (parents didnt know) and it always felt good. I dressed up till college and then joined the army. At this time I rarley dressed, not even in panties ( in the Army your alway subject to sudden, unannounced uniform and welfare inspections).
    It wasnt til about my last 4 years in the Army that I started to try on my wifes skirts and bras (she didnt know). It wasnt till I retired a few years later that I started to dress more often, in secret of course. wearing of womens clothing, even part time and in secret. One morning my wife found two pair of panties in my jeans ( wore them at work) she was upset. anyway, eventually told her I wanted to wear womens clothing and told her it felt almost natural for me and that I had been partially dressing on and off since I was 9. Certain rules were laid out(we have a young daughter and wife didnt want any one to know what I was doing, but eventually she couldnt take my dressing anymore, she started to think I was gay or at least a closet gay, even after I told her I wasn’t, plus she figured I would leave her in favor of dressing(which I told her I would never do that). So now, after telling her I no longer dress. she is happy now (she dosent hold that you can be heterosexual and want to wear womens clothing) you are either gay or a pervert. So now, I wear only lingerie under my work clothes and only at work. By the way, told my mother before she died what I did and while she wasnt to sure about it? did accept it. My brother knows and dosent care and 3 of my co workers(all guys) know and they dont care. MY youngest son and his girlfriend know and it dosent bother them. My wife is the only one it bothers. But all things considered, I feel ok about what I do and I enjoy it cause in a sense, it does feel natural.

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      Yvonne, thanks for sharing your story love. I’m sorry that your wife doesn’t accept your crossdressing. I hope that you’ll find a way to share with her that she can accept. As you’ve found out, there are many others who will accept you for who you are. Perhaps your wife feels threatened, as you say, about crossdressing becoming more important than your marriage.

  42. Mick 7 years ago

    Crossdressing is not something most people think about doing. I think it’s probably genetic or that there’s a biological cause like hormone flooding in utero or something. I think it’s related to the homosexual gene but different. And I don’t think people have a choice. Good luck to you all x

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      Mick, thanks for your comment dear. There is indeed much debate about nature vs nurture as far as transgender goes. I think that many people who were raised as otherwise normal boys crossdress or transition to a woman later in life. I tend to believe that genetics plays a part in how we come to be transgendered.

  43. Kay 7 years ago

    I have been crossdressing for 36 years, am now 42. I’ve just found out I’m xxy, so it seems to be genetic.

  44. Michael 7 years ago

    I began crossdressing in my teens. I think it was to fill a hole in my life originally. My mother was pretty much not a very nurturing person. She and all of her girlfriends liked to party and wear skirts, heels, and make-up. I think it looked like they had so much fun that I became curious and tried it myself. I love the soft, constricting garments and underclothes and was missing that in my life. I also discovered that I could have absolutely mindblowing orgasms when dressed. It turned out my first girlfriend was a bit on the kinky side and would dress me up, tie me up, and have sex with me. I learned to associate plasure and sensuality with crossdressing. I got married and had two kids and crossdressing dropped off into the background until my wife got tired of having sex. I then began to explore crossdressing and searched for a woman to share that aspect of my life with, someone who was open about it and would love me regardless. I didn’t want to be a full-time waman, only to enjoy times when I could dress up. I was caught in two affairs and confessed about my crossdressing and submissive tendencies. So I am back in denial and waiting for the day my children grow up and I can pursue my desires. I want to fulfill my obligation to raise my kids. It’s not their fault I’m unhappy, I owe it to them to be their father, not just on the weekends. In the meantime I CD when I can until the closet door can be opened again.

  45. Chris 7 years ago

    I am working on my second wife and fortunately she has accepted that I wear woman’s undergarments. We have both gone shopping for panties and pantyhose for me and I do feel really grateful in that matter. My wife had to visit a gay bar with her friends to hear it from a flaming gay man that they do not like pantyhose or woman’s clothing. Since that time, she feels more comfortable. I too have been more comfortable opening up to her. She does not know that I am a closet cross dresser, but she is accepting with limitations, I just need to seek those out slowly.

    There are many out there like me that are great husbands and fathers. I hope that you all can find the way to express yourselves to an open minded significant other. Once a marriage gets old, anything can spice it up.

  46. Peter 7 years ago

    Hi, this may seem pretty long, but it’s been puzzling me for ages.
    I can say I c-dress to fulfil my sexual desires, but is this all necessary? It goes like this…I put on the clothing, feel excited in it, walk around and try to act feminine. Then the desire comes, I(j**k)it out and then I feel disgusted and quickly take the clothing off. Can anybody tell me why there is such a big difference in the foreplay and the ending? No harm to any c-dressers but coming from a conservative and strict family, this is really becoming awkward for me as I know it’s wrong as in sense of my background, but it just feels so exciting.
    Does this have anything to do with strong male hormones or strong female hormones or just a fetish that can’t be controlled? I find females very stunning and I (assume)some find me as well but I find it difficult to build up the courage to approach them.
    PS. I did not c-dress before I met a girl whom I really loved, I basically worshipped her(pathetic huh?) and tried to be like her in many ways. Although it has been a while now and my feelings have died for her, does that wanting-to-be-her notion still hang around?(She brushed me off very direct and cold heartedly)I don’t blame her but….. I’m lost, please help

    • Aaron 6 years ago

      I think the problem lies with your statements about worshipping her. From a biblical standpoint worshipping something other than the Creator is a violation of the first two commandments in Exodus 20. Not trying to sound like a religious nut, I believe that really is part of the problem. Apparently women and their form are very powerful and an achilles heel to men and even angels. We see in Genesis the sons of God seeing the daughters of men and how fair they were. So much so that they came down and "knew" them. Adam ate the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil so that he would not be separated from Eve. Samson and Deliah, David had a man killed so he could be with his wife. So many examples can be cited. Some men worship women by having sex with as many of them as he can or attending strip clubs to see them take their clothes off and some men idolize them so much that they want to mimick them.

      • Aaron 6 years ago

        This of course leads to other ensuing problems such as watching TG porn and wanting to do homosexual acts which is mentioned in Romans chapter one. I can say all of this as I have been through it and had to examine myself and my motives. I think this is the case. I adored my mother growing up, did not identify with my dad as he was always too abrasive and impatient. I sort of idolized her and the female form and in entering puberty discovered pantyhose and helped to trigger the whole crossdressing experience. A guy becomes sexually aroused by an article of clothing and after the deed he feels guilty, rightly so.
        It is hard to examine one's self objectively, make determinations and judgment then act accordingly to change. Not one of us wants to do it at all. We must have help. That help only comes by the Holy Spirit. It is tough and I still have my struggles but it is what must be done.

    • Susan Veronica 6 years ago

      The sensual fact you described happens to all. You’re still in the conservaive side and that’s why ashamed of. After awhile you’ll get over, wash the garments and soon enough you’ll not feel horny at all.
      Crossdressing has been all throughout human history and determined by all sorts of factors, from genetics to social, from hormones to climate, economic and so on. Women in US a short 150 some years ago were fighting for the right to wear pants. Ladies on the East Coast and home makers couldn’t understand that is hard to do ranching and farming in a dress.
      For me the crossdressing is the ying and yang of our nature. Female have it easier because Eve was made out of Adam and not in reverse.
      The difference in between the begining and the end is the same as in between fantasy and reality, whereas fantasy is always more promising and less delivering. With time you’ll make the difference and you’ll be better, but the sensual act will always be there.

    • Sabrina 7 years ago

      My boyfriend does sort of the same thing. While his desire to crossdress is mostly only in the bedroom, it did progress to wearing my panties in day to day life. He feels that he looks sexy in my lingerie and clothing, but after he “gets off”, he immediately takes it off like he’s ashamed. I don’t do anything to make him feel ashamed, but I think he might personally believe it to be wrong. I have tried to talk to him but it, but he usually shuts down. He says that once he gets off, then he is no longer “horny”. The thing I don’t understand is that he will wear these things when he isn’t turned on. Perhaps your feelings and experiences can give me some insight into my own loves feelings. Im not sure that being heartbroken by that girl has triggered something in you or not. Have you ever talked to a therapist or anyone about your desires? Good luck to you

  47. Mike 7 years ago

    I think I stay very confused. I love and have really strong thoughts about cross dressing. I love it and have done it since I was about 14. I have always been scared to do it very often. Life dictates who we are a lot of the time. Why do I like it so much? I love panties and bras and bikini stuff. I like the short skirts and the tops and there are so many bright colors. I love high heels. I like walking in those heels and wish I could let loose and do some things that might be kinda fun but I dont want anyone to know. I am thin and think I enjoy how I look dressed up and wish I could go all the way with surgeries. I like being a man too, Its just so relaxing to change into someone with new possibilities(and so sexy). I have always wondered if I am partially or maybe even strongly transgendered. I try every day to suppress these feelings and urges. I have terrible luck with women and I have told some of my desires and others I did not want to tell. I guess today I am in the mood for a change and life has not been great. I am not really depressed as I sound its just one of those days.

    • Ragina 7 years ago

      Mike, hi, I’m Ragina and I’ve been a crossdresser for a very long time. I have also gone through a lot of the feelings that you are now. No you are not having one of those days, but yes, you are very confused about a lot of things. I personally would say that yes you are probably very strongly transgendered. You say that you would like to go all the way. My best advice to you is that first,you need to spend time getting to know the real you and learn to love who you really are.Then start working toward the place that you really want to be. Also, try to find a support group in your area. Look on the web for Tri-Ess. That is a good place to start for support. You stated that you have had hard luck with women. Part of this could be a fear of rejection or even ridicule for this part of you. I know that feeling as well. Be open to new relationships, and don’t be afraid to share who you are. You will be surprised, there are a lot of women who are more accepting of you as a complete person than you may believe. I pray that one of these women will come your way. My wife is very accepting of my crossdressing, and I am forever thankful for it. You also say that you would like to let loose and be yourself. GO FOR IT! If you are afraid to be in your own area, go somewhere out of town. I’m sure if you look hard enough, that you will find a club or other gathering place for crossdressers, and they would love to have you there. Like I said earlier, learn who you really are and love that person. then I believe you will be more able to deal with all the confusion in your life. Good luck in your search for yourself. Ragina.

  48. Kevin 7 years ago

    I can remember my sisters or moms bathing suits in the bath room. When I was young boy I like to wear them. I have my own things now. though I feel that, In these clothes my real man hood is out. panties and a dress just feels good and I’m I big guy. Or like I say Gurl. I know I’m gay. I just feel good. maybe we should have a little Island.lol

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      🙂 Those early memories are sometimes the sweetest ones

  49. Sarah 7 years ago

    My boyfriend of 3 1/2 years just proposed to me and I said yes.
    I wrote this email to Vanessa, but she never had a chance to write back. I still have so many questions and concerns. Please leave me some comments. I want to be comfortable with this, whether it is something he continues or something he never does again (read on and understand).

    (Written July 22)
    I stumbled across your site today and wanted to write.
    Two days ago I discovered my boyfriend of 3 and a half years has had a secret life.

    A week ago I had accidently stumbled upon some tg porn. I was a little disturbed but mostly wanted to be comfortable with it because it was something he obviously liked. Over the next week I had tried to get my boyfriend to watch porn with me. He has never been comfortable watching porn with me, and that does bother me because I enjoy porn occasionaly and would like to share that with him. I was hopefull that if we could get on the computer together and start watching porn that I could lead the porn viewing to tg and let him know that even though it was new to me that if it was enjoyable to him, I could get used to it. (I didn’t want to embarrass him by outright asking or accusing, if you know what I mean.)

    Then this week, while looking through the history I went to a myspace pic page honestly thinking I was going to see pics of his cousins new baby (he had chosen the same name for his CD persona that his cousin has). Instead of finding pictures of her and the baby I saw my boyfriend dressed as a woman. To say I was devasted is an understatement. I looked through the rest of the pics out of morbid curiosity. Turned the computer off, grabbed a bottle of gold schlager, started chugging, and collapsed to the floor sobbing. What hurt the most was the feeling that he had been lying to me all this time. The page was active so I knew that this was still a part of his life, how in depth I didn’t know.

    We talked about it later that night, we were both crying. I told him that if he weren’t honest and open with me, or if I found out that he was lying to me that we were through. He told me that it had been a period of his life that was now over. He said that he had given it up, had been getting rid of his clothing (some of which he had given to me) because he loved me, and only wanted to be with me.

    I still have so many questions. We still need to talk. I went through his myspace page (he gave me the email and password so I could look at it) and wrote down several more questions (which we are to talk about later tonight). He has asked me not to talk about this with any of my girlfriends because he is so scared and embarrased that word might get out. I understand and respect that. The last thing I want to happen is for him to get hurt. I just need to understand why. I need things to make sense in my head, and right now, even though I know he is still the same man, and I love him oh so very much, I am confussed and hurt. How could he keep this secret from me. How could he be doing this, having this other life that I didn’t know about.

    Right now, my biggest fear is that even though he claims that he is done with that part of his life, that he hasn’t dressed in about a year, that he says he gave it up for me.
    (sorry I know this is a bit jumbled… just spewing the words through emotion right now.)
    He said he gave up that lifestyle for us, but I’m afraid that he is going to resent me for that (even though I didn’t ask him to give it up… I didn’t even know about it). The fact that he has still been on his CD myspace tells me that maybe he’s not ready to completly give up that part of his life. I’ll be honest. Right now I don’t know how or if I can accept that hidden part of his life if he decided he wanted to continue.
    But My biggest fear is that in a year or five or ten that he will start doing it again and hide it from me out of fear. If I found out he was hiding his life from me, I would be crushed and devestated and our relationship would be over. I don’t want that to happen.

    He said that he has never done anything with another guy, and only looks at the TG porn once in a while. I’m trying to understand. I want to understand. I want to be accepting because I love him. But I don’t know if I can. He says he has given that part of his life up, that it was an expensive experimental stage in his life, but do you think a person who has been in that lifestyle can ever truly give it up?

    I guess thats the main point of this long emotional email. Do you think he has truly given in up, or will it resurface. I can deal with the truth, I will love him no matter what. And I think that I can deal with this, as long as he is honest and open with me.

    Thank you so much. I eagerly look forward to your reply.
    -Sarah

    UPDATE:
    Even though he said that he only occasionaly looks at TG porn, I have found that he does it more than he orriginaly let on. I don’t want to accuse him of lying but I’m feeling very uneasy right now.
    Thank you for taking the time to read, Please, any advice or “answers” that you can provide would be greatly and sincerly appreciated.

    Thank you.

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      Hey Sarah, I apologize for the delay, and congratulations on your engagement!

      You did a brave and considerate thing by talking to your fiance about what you found on his Myspace account. You obviously love him a lot to try searching for answers and understanding. I hope he realizes just how lucky he is to find a woman like you.

      I think he is probably well intentioned in saying that it was just a phase, and he won’t do it again. In my experience, and that of many transgendered people I’ve met, there is usually a strong desire to quit. You may have heard this referred to as a ‘purge’, which is an attempt to put this part of their life behind them. All clothes and accessories are thrown out as they start a fresh life. Unfortunately, as well intentioned as the desire is, it usually falls afoul of reality within a few months or few years. I don’t know him, but I have a strong suspicion that he will start crossdressing again, or live an unhappy and tortured life trying to resist it. I’m not sure if he’ll resent you, but he may resent himself.

      The thing to be concerned about is if he does this in private, and doesn’t feel as though he can trust you, or that he has to hide this. Open and honest communication is the most important tool to tackling this together. I’m quite confident that the reason he kept this secret from you for so long, is because he was afraid to lose you. As strange as it may seem, he probably loved you too much to tell you.

      I can understand why he would want to keep this secret from others – you’re doing the right thing in reaching out for help. I strongly encourage you to find a local crossdressing or transgender support group and attend a few times. Many groups have special programs for partners, this is a great place to find a someone to share this with, someone who will understand your struggles. You can find a list of groups across the US, and the world here:

      Hugs,
      Vanessa

  50. nick 7 years ago

    Uk there may be a lot of ?s that pop into your head bout that. I waz the same way wen I told my fiance dat. 2 my suprise she waz ok wit it. It sumtin dat she wantz 2 try wit me. Iv brn doin this since I waz 13 yrz olld and I’m 22 now. Wen my mom found out she didn’t know how 2 handle it. I thought I could quit but I couldn’t. My mom s ok wit it. And wen I c my mom. We go shoppin 2gethre. I do it cuz I’m comfortable in womens clothez. I like womenz clothez and the way they feel. Guyz just don’t get the type f clothez dat women do. Talj 2 ur man and let hum jnow ur tryin 2 get comfortable and talk 2 him bout it. My fiance and I have dress up datez and we go shoppin 2getha for womens clothez. I hope this helps u and ur man

  51. shruti 7 years ago

    wh r u from. My e-mail is shruti28071981@yahoo.co.in

  52. Anon 7 years ago

    Hi Vanessa and all CDHeaven visitors. I was inspired to tell my story here and so far it’s quite a bit different from the norm. Just goes to show how mysterious life is and how many similarities we share, even through our differences.

    First of all I was born in a female body. It took many years for me to realize that I identified more as male than female. Yet I have this puzzling desire to be “pretty” at times, to dress up and still retain my perceived masculinity. It is exciting for the same reasons many biological males find it exciting. But on top of all that, I consider myself gay as I am attracted to other males.

    It does feel as confusing as it sounds, and it’s something I am still struggling to understand myself. My theory is that–in a sense–the human mind is evolving, either biologically or just due to the advance of humanity embracing undefined gender roles. Either way it is something I’m excited about because I don’t believe in labels.

    To all the ladies with crossdressing male significant others–please do not automatically assume your man is gay. Also don’t assume that he feels he is really a woman. Though both are possibilities, you shouldn’t judge your man before he tells you in his own words what he is. I fully believe a straight man can feel the desire to be elegant, beautiful, and alluring without being gay or transsexual. Women are just as capable of wanting to feel strong, handsome, and rugged because they feel just as empowered. I believe this is the marvel of human nature and something we all need to find in ourselves, whether you like to crossdress or not. We are yin and yang, two different sides of a same coin. We should not be defined by genitalia when our hearts and minds can do and feel so much more.

    Vanessa, I feel you understand my feelings most of all and if you ever want to drop me a line I would be honored. If you are busy or would rather not write me, I’m completely okay with that too. Be well, everyone.

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      Hi hon (Anon), thanks for sharing your story. I must say it’s quite unique – it’s a blessing that you chose to share it on Crossdresser Heaven. I feel as though we can barely grasp the beauty in the diversity of humanity.

      Ashley, thank you for your service to our country! Whenever I hear of someone in the service who crossdresses it makes me realize how important the transgendered are in society, even if society doesn’t yet realize it. Thanks for sharing hon, take a look around Crossdresser Heaven, there are a few articles and many comments by others who are in a similar situation. Sharing with an objective professional in therapy is a good step I encourage – you should approach this, too, with an open mind. It’s widely accepted in the psychological profession that transgender desires can’t be ‘cured’ by stopping, and they should be able to work with you to understand who you are, how far you want to take it, and to help you develop a positive compromise with your wife. Patrice’s words are one’s I’ve heard from many others as well (thanks hon!)

      Hugs,
      Vanessa

  53. John (Ashley) 7 years ago

    A little bout me, ive been crossdressing since 8 or so and as the years pass i got more involved with wearing womens clothes. By high school i was buying my own clothes and i always enjoyed looking at the fall jcpenneys catalogs and dreaming what i would like to wear.

    I did a lot of purging from then on because i was in the Marine Corp and i needed my fix on the weekends. Then i got married and had to throw away that again. by the way she still dosent know. Then i moved back home and got a po box to buy my things and i had to hide my things, very hard to do but i got really good at it.

    Im married again and my wife has a pill addiction, that i didnt know till after i was married, so i do love her. So i told her that i cross dress and showed her my things, she was understanding bout it at first but then she is very uncomfortable with it. We seperated for a while bout my problem and hers as well, we are back together now and she doesent want me to do it anymore. Ive agreed to speak to a shrink about it, but i dont really want to stop, i dont see a problem with it. The thing is dressing in womens clothes makes me feel so at ease and normal and its just the greatest thing in the world. Most of the stuff i have is expensive and i dont wanna throw it away such as ugg boots my pantyhose, skirts etc…

    I think she is more upset that i shave my legs or sometimes i get them waxed. Ive even got french pedicures, that she dont know about. Im just so confussed i dont know what to do, because this makes me, me and to what kind of person i am today.

    I just wanted to share a little bout me and get some things off my chest, thanks for listening

  54. Patrice 7 years ago

    Ashley (John),

    Feel comfortable in life….if dressing as a woman keeps your thoughts and feelings at a comfortable level, continue to “dress”…your inner peace is most important to you. By shaving your legs and other areas, wearing pretty dresses/skirts, nice lingerie, makeup, etc, you bring the “woman that you strive to be” out and this helps you….I was seeing a female therapist awhile ago, and believe it or not, she encouraged me to be “myself”. She believed “Patrice” was and is at ease with herself when dressed in female clothes, even if only occassionally. Good luck, Ashley
    Patrice (rjb7839@aol.com)

  55. Sarah 7 years ago

    UPDATE:

    Hi all.
    Thank you all for being here and being so supportive!

    My Fiance and I have had more opportunities to talk about cross dressing and his life.

    He took me to a club that he used to go to both dressed and “regular” (that’s the term he prefers to use right now.) I was ok with it and actually had a really great time.

    A few weeks later, we went to one of his cd friend’s house and I had some issues. I saw where many of his pictures (the one’s I stumbled upon accidently) were taken. I don’t know why, but it was really hard for me to deal with it. Even though I was really uncomfortable, the group wanted to go to another cd club that they used to frequent. I didn’t do well. I faked a headache so we could go home early.

    We talked about it a few days later and I dealt with some of my issues and he in turn made some confessions. He told me that he does still occasionaly have desires to dress. THAT WAS HUGE! He was finally able to admit to me that he still has the desire to dress. So we talked about outlets that would be ok for both of us right now. One of the things we decided was that we could start out with him dressing in the bedroom. This may not be right for everyone, but right now it is right for us.
    It wasn’t easy for me, but I love him, and I don’t want him to be unhappy. I even talked with him about the possibility of him dressing to go out again. I don’t know when I’ll be ready for that one, but if it’s something that he wants to do, I want to be comfortable with it. I just need to adjust to this at my own rate and deal with this in my own way and hope that our love is enough to keep us together no matter what life throws at us.
    I am still afraid that his desire to dress will eventually take him away from me. That he won’t tell me when he wants to dress, that he will keep that part of his life to himself. Mostly I’m afraid that I won’t be enough and that he’ll find someone better (but isn’t that part of the wonderful world of relationships?!)

    Thanks for listening!
    -Sarah

    • Joan Brooks 6 years ago

      Sarah;

      I just had the oppertunity to revisit the site and thought I would share some food for thought with you to ponder. For myself I explained the softer side of me to my wife before we married. I will highlight on one of the most important key notes of my life.

      I truely love her and in picking someone to share my life with, I can guarantee her without a doubt, in finding someone that will love me for who I am, I have hound a treasure in life that is so rear. I need not look any further since I have struch it rich in the lady I plan to spend my entire life with and honor (in my personal special way) and respect her till death do us part.

      The other woman in our relationship will always be me, she needs never have to worry about another coming between us. because while my mate is loving me, she is also loving that other woman. Seen or unseen, she is always there.

      Willing to help and advise you in any questions you may have, I will reply with open and honest answers to help you and your other half.

      Joan Brooks (my e-mail is available if you wish to communicate)

      • Joan Brooks 6 years ago

        (part 4) To all my crossdressing sisters I say this, DO be honest with your spouses or special informed girl friends. I fully informed my wife prior to asking her to marry me. She also has doubts and asked her married professional daughter for her advise. Her daughters advise was this, "Mom, you have been married to a mean drunk who sold drugs and moved you all over the country ahead of getting caught and keeping secrets, and that did not work out. You were married to an abusive domineering husband who took it out on you and the kids, and that did not work out. This guy is different in a strange way that is private and may be harmless except for cost. If he takes good care of you, what do you have to loose, at least he is being totally honest with you up front. Besides if he is all dressed up if he goes out, I doubt that he is trying to cheat on you. Go for it!

        She did, we are very happy and now retired and living totally for each others happiness. I never get anything for me that I don't spend the same amount for something for her.

        Joan Brooks

  56. Jay 7 years ago

    yes well the reasons i crossdress are a few!

    mainly i crossdress because i like the clothing it is comfortable wearing skirts dresses slips panties which ahve so far alwasys been female clothing this is just not right really

    the other reasons aer that i wish i had been bron female myself i really would like to be a girl i’ve kind of always felt this way i think being a girl would be wonderful i would take the good witht the bad just to be female at last as i was really suppose to have been born in this incarnation as a female and why i ma not is one thing that is stil puzzeling me even now.

    ah well!

    more later!

  57. Josh 7 years ago

    It’s a very sexual thing for me. I usually dress myself up and watch marathon sessions of porn and imagine myself as the girl in the video. It feels good to really let go and just let my mind run wild with it. I really want to quit or tone it down though, I feel like I neglect other parts of my life, especially my social life, because of this fetish.

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      Thanks for sharing Josh. It’s sometimes hard for people to admit if it is sexual, but I don’t think anyone should be ashamed of who they are, even though there are those in the transgender community who would frown on crossdressing for sexual pleasure. I do think it’s concerning if other parts of your life begin to suffer, I highly recommend you strive for balance with crossdressing and your life, or find a way to incorporate crossdressing into your life.

      Hugs,
      Vanessa

  58. Mandy 7 years ago

    What is to anyone on what a person feels.We have to accept and love ourselves as we are. We treat people the way we want to be treated this works wonders. I started with my sisters dressing me one afternoon at the age of 6. I started ballet at the age of 29 took class 11 years . my son took and taught ballroom dance for 10 yaers also met his wife there ,Twin daughters who graduate to colledge 2010 also took ballet 3 years. I was married twice 2nd wife met at a tatto show wearing a mini skirt and black sheer hose 3 1/2 inch heels and nice perfume . still married 8th anniversary coming up. All I can say is dont be afraid was cleaning at a maid service for a while wore stretch pants long shirt with flats or white shoes and panties ,pantyhose black or white were required under yes they showed and houses I cleaned women loved it. I got plenty of comments.I have been to 10 salons electrolysis, makeup ,hair removal,nails ,and department stores trying clothes the second hand stores are my favorite.do not be afraid, be yourself and stay strong. look good and have fun .Let your women within shine women love your comments on there attire too.

  59. C-lue 7 years ago

    you know i got a father that is against the CD way of lifes laughs mocks and everything else a mom a gf that do the same and since i was bout 8 secretly jus trying on high heels 4.5 + in. and it is the only thing i really desire but i doubt it will ever come out considering i love my family and friends and if i told/showed them that side of me not one of them would want me around considering it is the way i am still the same as them as i mock out loud but think they are so luck inside of me… why i do it i have no idea but i blame my older sisters for leaving there sexy high heel boots out all the time … there is my aspect take it as you will.

  60. Anonymous 7 years ago

    I’m sixteen and have been a crossdresser for a while. I secretly dress at night when everyone’s asleep. I love to try on different kinds of clothing and I really enjoy wearing women’s halloween costumes. For me, it feels like I have fun doing it along as a form of expression of femininity. I get scared sometimes because there are times the family have to use the bathroom. I almost got caught two nights ago and I’m scared of getting caught… What should I do?

    • Susan Veronica 6 years ago

      Just be careful for so far and don’t get caught. It’s difficult for your age and circumstances.
      Susan

  61. miche 7 years ago

    I know every person has differentn reasons, but it is common that attraction to womens clothing began early, 4 t0 6 or so. For me, it was about 5. I have learned that this age is when children get their first sensual impression of sexuality. If that is true, associateing womens clothing with sexuality due to some early experiences could help explain the initial attraction. I would have to agree this was the case for me, as I would lay my head on my mother’ s lap (andstockings), and later play with her stockings as if they were doctors’ gloves. Later on, around 13, wearing pantyhose caused quite an arousal for me. Only recently did I come to understand why. No doubt we have all felt the rush of doing something taboo, the fear of getting caught. That fear, and rush became for me a source of stimulation and arousal. Later on most of us felt the rush the first time we stepped out of doors, or drove a car dressed, or went out on the town. We repeated the fear and pleasure of doing something out of the norm, on the edge. Even after the arousal ceased to occur, we felt the rush.

    I’ve come to realize that this rush is our addiction. I know the rush does not apply to all who cross dress, but for those that feel the rush, make no mistake about it; it is the same rush felt by many drug addicts, many alcoholics, cleptomaniacs, etc.

    If this describes you, it is your choice to either continue to give in to the rush, and justify it, or to deal with it for what it is, an addiction.

  62. Adam 7 years ago

    I found, and tried on my mother’s things when I was younger. I’m now 31 and have a collection of my own things, including knee high boots, a pair of mary janes with a 2″ heel, and just the other day got my first pair of skinny, 4″ high heels! I enjoy wearing a bra, and panties the most, and own a few dresses, which have not yet seen the light of day outside of my apartment. I have a great female friend, who I used to work with, that I have been out with several times while I have feminine attire on, being womens jeans, a top, etc. She is really the only person that I can be completely open with, and include in my thoughts, desires and dreams. She means quite a lot to me, and I’ve told her so many times!

    My girlfriend, however, is aware of my fetish, but is not accepting of it. She is also jealous that I share it with another girl. I feel guilty, and do not bring anything out in front of my girlfriend. I long for the day that I can find someone more understanding, and possibly even encouraging that I can have a completely open and meaningful relationship with.

    Why I crossdress though? In a way, it turns me on, I think because it’s maybe seen as something “naughty”, and I do consider myself as submissive. It just feels good sometimes too though, and I’m not quite sure exactly how else to describe it. I can probably go on rambling, but I’ll stop, and thank you for reading/listening, as I’ve never really said this much about myself on this subject!

    • Ragina 7 years ago

      adam,hi hon. My name is Ragina. I just wanted to comment on your situation. Sounds to me like you need to have your co-worker friend as your girlfriend if she’s the one that supports you as a complete person. My wife supports me as a crossdresser and I love her so much more for it. Examine your relationships, and I really think that you’ll see it too. Hope you make the right choice for your lifemate. Good luck and God bless.

  63. Hannah 7 years ago

    Why do I crossdress? Hmmmm I love this question. I use to ask myself this same question and sometimes would pose the question “why me”? As an adult, I have come to terms with the fact that I am a crossdresser and I love this part of me so much that I am so glad that I am a crossdresser. Like many of you, I too, have felt guilt, shame, and I have purged my femme attire and clothes a few times but never again will I do that. $$$ I have discovered the possible reason why I began crossdressing at such a young age of about 5 years young. I remember my mother used to make me wear those rubber pants [panties] over my cloth diapers so that if I wet the bed that the rubber panties would prevent my bed sheets from getting wet too. I remember the wonderful feeling of the elastic leg bands hugging my legs similar to young girls panties and some adult womens style of panties. I also remember the different colors she had me wear as well. Green, purple, yellow, etc.. but no pink ones 🙁 .. lol… so my first experience with girls clothes thereafter was my new found pleasure of wearing freshly washed panties from our laundry room in our basement. I have 4 sisters and 2 were older than me and 2 were younger than me. I used to wear them long before I was sexually active and I eventually found my way to try on a bra for the first time too. Oh what a feeling that was. As a teen, I eventually began dressing up in total feminine attire with wig, makeup, etc… I am 47 years young now and I love crossdressing more than ever before.

    I have told every woman in my past that I have dated and also I have told my ex-wife before we got married that I was a crossdresser. I always tell a woman upfront and leave no room for any surprises. Honesty has blessed me with the ability to be able to crossdress with my girlfriends or wives awareness and approval to some degree or another so I woulnt have to hide it. I love to come out to other GG women at any opportunity possible.

    Now back to why I crossdress still after more than 35 years of doing so. I love to express my feminine side to myself and to others. I have been blessed with some wonderful GG women as friends that allow me to be in their presence while I am dressed and they treat me like one of the girls so to speak. GG women tend to enjoy asking me questions about my crossdressing “hobby” and I love to talk about it with them as they are very much into sharing their perspectives on the wonders of being a woman and to be able to express their femininity as well. I love the feeling of the clothes and the styles and the many many choices of clothing and accessories. I am content being a man but I sometimes wish I was a woman although I have never considered SRS Surgery, hormone therapy, or transitioning.

    Crossdressing makes me feel a sense of bliss and completeness as a person as well. I know many women complain about wearing a bra or heels all day but If I could, I would wear a bra 24/7 and I always wear panties under my mens clothing. I am 6′ tall and 210 lbs as a man and Im in shape and carry my weight very well with an athletic build. I do dress up well enough to go out in public which I do periodically although I am not all that passable with my height and weight factors considering I wear 3 inch heels most of the time. I have been told that I look very nice when dressed en femme as well as I have very effeminite mannerisms and postures when I am dressed up and actively out and about while dressed en femme therefore I have confidence and poise when I do go out in public en femme.

    I also crossdress as a pleasurable sense of self gratification, comfort, bliss, and also for a sense of sexual arousal when I want it to be that way too.

    Maybe I should have just made a list of 100 one line reasons why I crossdress because as I am writing this reply to my most favorite question in the world that anyone could ask me, I am seeminly writing a forward introduction to a book ..lol..so I will end my reply here. I hoped this has been informative and not TMI and that maybe it has allowed other CD’s or wives and girlfriends of other CD’s to either relate or to have becomed enlightened.

    Crossdressing is harmless behavior to myself and to many of those who also crossdress. It is a natural high which no drug can ever compete with. Ok.. I’ll stop now.. It must be the woman in me that wants to keep writing and talking. Remember this too…”if it feels good, wear it! ”

    ~hugs~

    Hannah

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      Well said Hannah! You are blessed to have such wonderful girl friends. What wonderful encouragement to other CDs to get out there, even if they don’t pass all the time. The truth is, very few of us will pass all the time.

      Hugs,
      Vanessa

      • Susan Veronica 6 years ago

        I like her attitude. I am of the same mentality when telling. If the girl runs scared of my crossdressing, she’d better be running before the vows, not after.
        Susan Veronica Miller

  64. Deana 7 years ago

    The main reason is alot of women’s clothing is comfortable. Second is I love the feminine feeling that crossdressing gives me. Like Hanna I probably could come up with 100 reasons on why I crossdress. If it is comfortable why nit wear it?

  65. Hannah 7 years ago

    I’d like to gently respond to Sarah’s post from August 27th..

    Dear Sarah, 🙂 I can relate to your fiance in a way that he has fear of telling you just as the majority of crossdressers have initial fears of being discovered, caught in the act, or coming out to family and loved ones. We all know that crossdressing is still not as socially acceptable in American society as is being gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Transgendered persons including crossdressers are the minority in the alternative lifestyle community.

    In regards to him giving up or stopping crossdressing, in my opinion, I truly doubt he will be able to do that even if he tries. So many CD’s have tried to quit and to purge their feminine clothing and have experienced guilt and shame and other adverse emotions during their lifetimes which is rather normal im my opinion. He may be saying these things our of fear and guilt and to also hold onto you and not lose you but you can help him find peace if you are willing.

    I think there is nothing more pleasant and wonderful to a heterosexual crossdresser, even more than the crossdressing in itself, is to have a special woman in their life that they can share their feminine self with. And this also may apply to the many bisexual and homosexual crossdressers too. A crossdresser typically wants to be accepted by other woman as one of the girls. This is a feeling of bliss to a crossdresser. To be amongst GG women [GG = genetic girls] and be accepted and loved is prime gratfication for us.

    I have always loved telling every girlfriend I had that I was a crossdresser and my wife before I got married to her. I am divorced but it had nothing to do with my love of crossdressing. My current girlfriend knows I am a crossdresser and she takes part in it with pleasure as there is a lot of potential of a lot of fun for GG women to have with a crossdresser and likewise the crossdresser is typically elated with joy to have their girlfriend or wife share in this behavior. Many women report in surveys that their relationships and marriages to crossdressers have enhanced the relationship or marriage greatly. A crossdressing husband or boyfriend can relate to women on feminine issues and femininity in general.

    I have been privileged to be able to share my love of crossdressing and admiration of femininity with my female friends and girlfriends due to my honesty with women about this part of me. As a man, one would never know I am a crossdresser because I keep my masculinity in balance with my femininity. I personally dont let crossdressing dominate my relationship with a woman. There is a time for me to be a man which I am and I am happy with that part of me that I was born as a man and then there is a time where I can let loose and be the woman I enjoy being and I can act out my femininity as that is a part of me too.

    I hope that you and your fiance keep talking and communicating on this matter and if you feel you can give him a chance to be “her”, then give it a try before you get married and always be honest in your feelings about any issue and anything in general as he should be that way with you. I hope you understand why he was hiding it from you but now that you know about it, ask him to be open and honest and to tell you how he really feels now that you know. Again, I doubt he or most crossdressers can just quit and walk away from it and never again partake in something that he really likes and that is not harmful to himself or to anyone he loves unless he continues to be dishonest and concealing.

    Crossdressing is not like alcoholism, drug addiction, or other criminal activities although it can be addicting and hard to stop.. lol… 🙂

    Feel free to keep this dialogue open if you want to continue to talk about it. Sorry Vanessa, I hope Im not stepping out of line but I love to talk about these issues and I presume this an open forum dear.

    ~hugs~ Hannah

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      Hannah, bless you dear. Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply, you’re definitely not stepping out of line. It’s so wonderful when readers share their hope and encouragement with others – especially when it’s done with as much care you as you shared.

  66. penny 7 years ago

    first i wanted to thank you so much for your site and the service that you are giving to the crossdressing comunity, i just wanted to add to your question on why do men crossdress/ for my self i started at 12yo and never realized that i had such a want or need to dress. I was transformed at a halloween party being dressed as a little girl , i thoght that i was mad at first but found i was very turned on by the reaction of the guys and the girls , i was addicted. i have dressed ever since , it contributed to devoirce and broken relation ships . but i still dojnt want to stop nor could i. I love to dress and play with friends and i allowyself to be more expermenting , sexully when dressed. I also love to actas a fem sissy and dont want any masculain responceability i just want to be used anf live as a submissive gurl . thanks again penny

    • Joleen 6 years ago

      I too enjoy rosdressing. I have been doing it on and off for years. However, I cant do it at home cause my wife(not acceptin) will know if I am wearing anything, this includes underdressing. I asked how does she know if she dosent see or feel anything? She told me that its because “when I wear womens clothing, even if its just panties and a slip, I act feminine! I told her I try to act myself, but she said I act differently. I asked how? she said when I sit down I sit crosslegged with my hands folded in a certain way, (I did not realize I did) and when I walk, I have a tendacy to walk in a slightly feminine way( One foot placed exactly infront of the other). I cant argue with that because its obviousl that when I am underdressing, even just a little, I must be doing something unconsciously feminine, even if I am not aware of it, cause she catches me almost every time, even when I cant figure how? But if this is so? I do not consider this a bad thing but a good thing. I just wont war anything around her. I doubt anyone else will even notice my unconscious traits. At least, no one has mentioned to me about them.

  67. Jay 7 years ago

    why do males crossdress i do belive i just might have an real answere and solution!

    it is something that an old moutain climber once said i think

    and that is simple this because it is there!

    that’s why i want to go and do tis fair enough!:*

  68. Suzzanna 7 years ago

    I started dressing as a girl when I was five years old ! It felt normal for me to dress that way. I started doing it on my own ,when I was left in the house ,while everyone else was working around the house . As I got bigger ,, I was able to wear my mothers clothes seing I was about te same size as her. When I started,I wasn’t like most crossdressers ,I dressed completly likeagirl ,with the lace panties, bra (at first un-stuffed),stockings or tights ,slip if needed and heels ! My mother only wore heels that had one to three inch heels. She never caught me dressed in her clothes because I always did it cautiously. When I hit my early teens, I was a little dissapointed that my breasts did not grow. My siter had a nice chat with me about it,but never spoke a word to our parents about it.As far as girlfriends, I never had any sexual desires towards them as other boys my age. This went on this way until I gotout of school ! I have hada few relationships,but they all ended for different reasons ,noneofwhich had anyting to do with my crossdressing desires. Nobody outside of my sister had known about it,and that was the way we kept it. When I was in my twenties,I went out on a blinddate with a 35 year old good looking young woman. I ended up moving in with her ! Things were going good.The first time sehad seen me without any clothes,she had toldme that I had beautiful feminine legs that any woman wouyld die for !I could feel my face get hot,and at the same time, I felt good that she noticed ! It was about two months before Halloween and she told me that wehould go to it. I told her thatI didn’t have a costume ,and that is when she for me not to worry ,because she would take care of it. She finaly told mewhat shehad planned. She wanted to dress me up as a Hooker ! I asked her what she was going to be,and he told me she was going to go as my pimp ! At first ,I didn’t want to let on that I was excited to do it,so I dragged it out a couple of days ,then I gave in ! The first thing that she wanted to do was to take me shopping in one of her favorite stores-Fashion Bug . She ended up picking out a very sexy black above the knee misses medium dress. Next she picked out a long curly black wig that went past my shoulders . Next we hit the make-up section where she got all the make up she needed and also a pair of long eyelashes. The first thing that she had me do we got home ,was to take a bath with her perfumed soap ,and to shave all my body hair except for my head. When I got dried off,she handed me apair of her panties,and a pink bath-robe to put on. I never questioned anything she wanted me to do. Next she had me sit at her vanity table ,that is where she told me that when she was done I wouldn’t recognize myself. When she was done with my make-up ,she kept me away rom the mirror ,and told me to put a tight back slip on . She said that i would help give me the feminine curves that I would need . The beautiful black dress was next ,followed by the wig,and then big hoop clip on earings ,and then camea pair of black stilettos that had 4 inch heels. My girlfriend was right ! When she had finished her creation,she walked me over to a full length mirror that was in a spare room . I could not believe my eyes ! Standing in front of the mirror was a beautiful woman with a big smile. All of a sudden,I could feels my eyes tart to well up. My girlfriend told me not to worry about my make-up or mascara,because it was waterproof and wouldn’t run ! After I got my composure,se told me she wanted to teach me how to walk ,use feminine gestures,how to tain my voice to sound feminine ,and what to say to any males that tried to hit on me.The day of the party ,I was very nervous because I knew looking the way I did,I ould definitely be hit on ! The party went without a problem, even though during the nigt ,I had ended up dancing with four men. None of tem knew that I was a male nor did they push the issue with my girlfrend my pimp. She did look like she ,I mean he, could be a little mean if provoked ! The next day sh told me shewanted me to start taking vitamins to stop the beginning of male pattern baldness . I agreed and she had went out to get them. I did not know it at the time ,but she put all the pills into a empty beta carotene bottle ,and then gave them to me, and to take one a day.After a month,my skin started getting softer, and my chest was starting to tingle when I woke up and just before going to bed. I didn’t say anything until I started shaving once a week . Usually I would have to shave three times a week ! When I said something to her my nipples were gtting very sensitive to touch. I asked her about the pills,and that is when she told me that I had been taking birth control pils.I asked her what was on her mind ,and why she did it ! All she told me was that when we were at the party,I seemed to be much happier and content as a female. We had a long chat,at times it got heated,in the end ,our relationship ended because I could not trust her. Three months after we broke up ,my breasts continued to grow ,even though I stopped taking any and all pills. I started thinking more and more about having larger breasts. I decided to search the internet. I found a site ,and it had pictured testimonials,so I read all the testimonials and decided to give it a try. I took teirproduct for seven months. From the time I had not knowingly taken te birt control pills ,I was 38-32-38 . After the BC pills and the seven months I hadended up with a very feminine 45-29-40 figure. It is hard trying to compact my breasts when I have to go t work ! When I get home ad let hem out,they practically fly out ! Now I find myself shopping at theFashion Bug Store all the time ! Only now,I having strong sexual desires towards men andoral sex ! I now even fantasize about having intercourse as a woman ! My mother now knows about my crossdressing and she was surpized that nothing was ever said to either parent about it. Now she wants me to visit her as my feminine self ! I jst wish that I could have made the transition before I hit my teens ! All the ignorant people that just condemn people like myself, have no clue as to the amount of pain one endures being trapped in the wrong body and not being able to dress to fit the part ! That is the reason for a lot of suicides !

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      Wonderful story Suzzanna, you are blessed to find such a supportive and understanding woman

  69. Gary 7 years ago

    Why do I crossdress?

    I am 51 years old and have been crossdressing in some form since i was a young boy. My earliest memory was around age 4 or 5 when I would take my sisters panties and wear them. No one ever told me that I shouldn’t, so I did it often. As I got older it just seemed normal to me to wear panties. Now at age 51, I only own panties, no male underware at all.

    I am single. Have not been able to meet a woman that will accept my at home lifestyle. I do not go out in public dressed as a woman, but generally speaking always dress in female attire when at home. I only sleep in pretty and sometimes sexy nighty’s, and nearly always wear stockings (thigh highs, not pantyhose).

    I do it becuase it makes me feel like I am expressing all of who I am. In other words, when I am away from my home I am expressing my male identity. When I am at home I am expressing my female identity. I get to be all of who I am every day.

    A few years ago I did try to stop, but found only that I was incredibly unhappy. Once I started again, I was once again a well adjusted and happy person. A person that was whole and complete.

    Will I ever stop again? No. Will I die a single man? Probably. Will I die happy? Definatelyl.

    I know that was very little help, but that is my answer. I do it because it is who I am. Plain and simple.

    Good luck to all,

    Gary

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      Hi Gary,

      You said it well with ‘it makes me feel like I am expressing all of who I am’. Don’t condemn yourself to a lifetime of solitude just yet though. There are many crossdressers who have found loving, understanding woman. Take a read through some of the crossdressing success stories on the site for some encouragement. They always pick me up.

  70. Kevin 7 years ago

    Hi all,

    My womanly name is Kat or short for Katherine.

    I started crossdressing when I was about 12 years old. I would try on my mother’s clothes dressing fully like a woman. It felt so good the feeling of women’s clothes and hose on my body. I felt so free and sexy. As I got older I would feel the need to dress up to relieve stress. I found a woman that I dated for a few years that was very understanding, she would even buy clothes for me and help me dress up to go out on the town for girl’s night out. After we broke up for reasons I would rather not discuss, I stopped dressing up as much I only did it in the privacy of my own home with no one else around. I am married now and my wife would not understand, heck she would probably throw me out of the house. But, I was fortunate to find a woman whom I love dearly that my wife does not know about. She and I have dressed up each other and have gone out on the town once again. I feel so free with her because she is so understanding and let’s me be me.

    How do I break out and tell my wife about my habits and why I do them? I will never stop crossdressing but as long as I am married to her I have to do it in private when she is not around. I want her to understand as much as this new woman in my life does but I don’t know how to tell her. I may end up leaving her in the long term and finally marrying the woman of my dreams who understands me and let’s me be the woman that is trapped inside of my body.

    Any suggestions would be appreciated.

    Thanks girls and have a nice, girly day out on the town for me.

    Kat

  71. Suzzanna 7 years ago

    Kevin – (Kat) , I think that you should tell your wife about how serious crossdressing is to you ! It isn’t advisable to keep it from loved ones ! You migh think that you are sparing them from all kinds of embarrasment , when in fact you are creating more ! If your wife doesn’t understand , or is one that will not listen ,you can expect the worst with your marriage ! I advise against telling her about another woman helping you dress as a woman ! Your wife could say that you are having an affair ,and that would not look good for you ,especially if you want her to believe that you still love her ! Don’t wait too long to tell her , the longer you wait ,the harder it will be for her to believe you ! I wish you luck . Keep in touch “Kat” !

    • lisa 7 years ago

      kev
      I have a friend who is a crossdresser. I am a very open minded person
      and love my friend no matter what. He was married for 19 yrs and the
      secret broke up his marriage. I ask told him I would talk to his wife to make her understand a little but he said it is no use. He said she went
      to talk to someone and they told him he was mentally sick. I disagree
      its is in the normal range. Their is nothing wrong with you. So
      what I am telling you is if she is not open minded I don’t think
      I would tell her.

      • Kevin Kesler 7 years ago

        Lisa,

        My marriage is already shaky as it is and I know that this will break it up for good. I have decided not to tell her and I will keep this secret to myself unless I am around my other woman who fully understands and encourages me to dress up and go out.

        Thanks for the comment.

        Kat

    • Kevin 7 years ago

      Thanks for the reply.

      I still don’t know if I want to tell my wife or not about my secret life. She would not understand. My marriage is shaky now and if I tell her, it will surely end it. She will not know about the other woman though until the time is right.

      Thanks for the help though.

      • lisa 7 years ago

        I guess I didn’t read the part about the other women. How does this
        other women feel about your cross dressing?

      • Kevin Kesler 7 years ago

        Lisa,

        The other woman is all for me dressing up. She even goes as far as helping me pick out clothes to wear and even helping me dress up. She wants me to be myself and she fully understands my reason for dressing up. Whether I am dressed up or not she even calls me Kat. She is so understanding and maybe that is why I love her so much.

        Kat

      • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
        Vanessa Law 7 years ago

        Best of luck hon. Timing is an important part of disclosure. Don’t rush into telling her, but don’t put it off forever either. I hope it works out well for you.

  72. sabrina 7 years ago

    i have some questions about my boyfriend and i am writing this hoping that someone could give me some insight. We have been together about a year, and he told me a few months ago that he wanted me to dress him up. That came as a shock to me since I have never known any men like that. Recently, he has started wanting me to dress him more often. I dress him in my lingerie, thongs, and occasionally my skirts and shirts. Also, he has started wearing my panties for more than sexual fantasies. I thought it was just a sexual thing for him, but I can see now that it isnt. He wears them doing yard work, the store, work, etc. I would never leave him over this because I love him deeply, but I would like a better understanding of why he likes these things. I have asked him, but he says i am over analyzing it. I know he loves women, but occasionally has male fantasies. He trusts me with this information and things about himself so I dont want to break that trust. I do need answers because it is upsetting me not to understand the man I love.

    • Joan Brooks 6 years ago

      Sabrina;

      Your boyfriend, first and foremost has placed a great deal of trust and confidence in you to even express his inner feelings and wishes to you. It is most difficult for crossdressers to open up and express ourselves to our love ones for ultimate fear of rejection.

      You are entering a lifes journey with someone who loves you and has great trust in you. The odds are in your favor in as much as most crossdressers love to let their softer side come to light for a short time and then return to their normal pressured roles in life while making a good living for their families.

      This does not mean he is gay. It means he has discovered a loving and much softer side of himself that he can not even understand. Please do take the time to quietly one evening to just set down with him by your side and communicate any thoughts or fears you might have about this new discovery that has been sprung on you.

      There are many on this forum that are willing to help and advise you in any questions asked, I am but one of them. If you wish to communicate either on forum or by e-mail, I will help where you permit.

      Best of luck in your upcoming journey
      Joan Brooks

    • penny 7 years ago

      Sabrina first your your boy friend is very lucky to have found some one as special as you it is very unfortunate for us cds but we are thought of a sfreaks it many circles. i dont believe that youhave any thing to worry about we all love to dress and play as fem side needs to live. Speeking for my self I can only dream about ho woderful it would be to dress with my wife or girl friends help. I and i am sure most other dressers have avery strong attraction to a fem self under their male prosonia, but we all still are truely men and most donot wish to be transexuale which is something a little differant . But I hope yoy two continue with your special relationship and know that there are others that would love to be in one similar Love ya Penny

    • Suzzanna 7 years ago

      Sabrina , maybe you might as your boyfriend is telling you that you could be possibly reading more into it ! He might be one that loves the feel of them on his body ! If that is the case ,he will like wearing them when ever he can. How does he react around any of your girlfriends ? Does he want to dress after seeing another girl or young woman ? It just might be a fetish ,if that is the case ,all you would have to worry about is if he stays your size !

    • theresa 7 years ago

      My wife and I went through the very same thing. For many of us it is a realease from the constraints of our everyday life, I know that it icertainly that way for me and that I can not speak for your boyfriend. If it gets to a point where he can’t live without being dressed up it could create a level of resentment.But I have crossdressed since I was 10 and have never taken it any further that just dressing up on occasion. That’s enough for me and my wife understands that. Danger hits when fantasy becomes reality for people. Try asking him how far he wants to take it and see if you are able to handle the answer. I love women and everything about them, I don’t want to be one though, I like being a man. But your choices for clothes are just so much more interesting. Hope this helps a little bit.

  73. Maeve 7 years ago

    Hello I’m a 53 year old Lady who has an interest in BDSM as a Domme. If your really interested I am a CD or whatever you call me.
    Dressing isn’t sexual for me but a pleasure of being myself. Once dressed there is no remorse but pleasure. I feel free and comtent to be Maeve.
    I found one of my dear friends via Alt and five years later the friendship is still there. Another I met through Calgary Girl friends andf it would seem I was the explosive to bring her fully out. Clubs movies. dinning out confidence soaring we were on the loose.
    i

    • penny 7 years ago

      Oh Mauve, i only wish hat i lived near you becaause you would definatly have a new sub friend to play with , it is so wonderful to hear that there are people that understand dressing and the joys that we all can ahave hope to hear more from you and other gurls like us love penny

    • Desere1 7 years ago

      Muave , I have been crossdressing for about 40 years ,and I find it hard to get up the nerve to go out during the day. I think that my main concern would be my make-up ! I have worked all my life to make sure that I had the feminine shape ,but I never had anyone or a computer to teach me what I needed , and how to apply it correctly . Right now ,my measurements are 43-30-40 and I am wearing misses sizes . If someone were to come up from behind me , they would think I was a female especially wearing 4 inch heels !

  74. Yvonne 7 years ago

    I have been reading several of the comments fellow CDers have made. Especially important to me is the parts where the wife/girl friend either knows or don’t know and their reactions to it. AS I have not written for awhile, I have mentioned that my wife does not approve and has said so. Unfortunately, my wife wont even open up to talke about it. If I even start to make any remark about crossdressers or crossdressing, she gives me ‘a look’ . Bottom line! MY wife will not accept anything that even hints of crossdressing, especially on my part.
    She wont consider any type of limitations or negotiations in this matter. MY youngest son who is 29, was going to dress as a girl for holloween but was cut short when my wife said something about him looking gay. My perception is that as far as my wife is concerned, I best not be anything other than pure male, in mind, in spirit and and in body. this includes dress. Fatigues (Army) is ok for wear, blue jeans and cowboy boots are ok. but oh woe for me or my son if we even think about wearing a pair of panties, much less a skirt, even for holloween. So. for those of you who can at least talk to your wife/girl friend about crossdressing, I envy you and if your wife/girl friend accepts and/or understands? Hallalua!! And more power to all of you.
    I dress in secret of course. Under my clothes. at work. still do. she thinks I may be dressing? but isn’t sure. So at least for now, things are at least on a even keel at home. But if she finds out for sure, that I still am dressing even after I told her I am not. OH OH! I hate being deceiving and detest lieing , but she has not given any other alternative. I have tried to stop! purged on several occassions through out the past several years but like the majority of Crossdressers , I can’t stop dressing, I enjoy the sense of comfort and naturalness it gives, not to mention a peace of mind. The ONLY options I will get from her is that either she will sleep in the spare room or divorce. so much for understanding. Ihave told her severao times in the past that my dressing is no threat to our marriage or her, that I am neither gay or have a desire to change anything. But all I got was “you are probably gay and dont know it!

    • mary 6 years ago

      I think you should have told your wife from the very begining what you did in private. It's not fair to marry someone without your partner knowing about this because it gives her no option of being in this relationship. I think it's dishonest and cruel for someone to invest so much time into a marriage only to find out that there's this other little secret you failed to mention and then your wife is forced to deal with the confusion of it all. IT"S NOT FAIR. Keeping secrets is never a good idea when entering into a marriage because they all come out in the end and the wife is the one that ends up hurt, confused, and devasted because all along she thought she was married to someone she thought she knew.

      • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
        Vanessa Law 6 years ago

        I agree with you Mary. I know how difficult it can be to tell your wife to be (having done it myself), but keeping such a big secret from her before you're married can drive a wedge between you that is difficult to overcome.

        Good luck love!

  75. Jay 7 years ago

    yes and isn’t it still a real pity that something so very harmless is yet so misunderstood!

    and yet for women it is still alright foe them to do the very same thing that mean want to do!
    they can and do get to dress in both male and female clothing and right now even right down to wearing ties biut let a male put on slips skirts dresses and he is stil so labled a pervert or wrose he is gay or something not that there is naything wrong with thta either but most of us who are transgnered crossdressers are not gay and that very word used to mean something esle entierly!

    I we still wonder just what si so all fired strange about mlaes in girls clothing it is far better for males t so allowed to be in loose clthing then to continually be stuck in pants jeans slacks and all that is so very confineing to the whole of male anotomy i say we just go right out and tske it ater all if and when we really did want to we could very well do so wone did so quite some time ago and they have never really ever looked back!

    so tel me why have men not done the same i for one fail to see why it is not the very norm by now what are we waitng for i mean really it is a real pity ah well!

  76. victoria 7 years ago

    i started wearing womens things when i was young like most started, i would say to myself i was never going to do it agin and burn everything and then lateron get more and do it agin.i woundnt admit to my self what i did, when someone pointed out another guy who crossdressed or wore panties i thought they should be murdered ,not admiting to myself ther no diferant than me, then my wife got me to wear her pajamas and her panties,she liked it what a wonderful wife, but she died and i tried everything to stop did ok for a couple months at a time but then i was online looking at the women on the vs website the next thing i know i was looking at the panties,then they sent me a preaprovle for an angel card i cliked on it to see what it was it disaperd a week later i got a pink envelope in the mail i opend it up and couldnt belive it they made me an angel i couldnt resist it i bought some panties a couple months later i tried to stop burned everything serioly cocitered suiside made an apointment with a shrink she said thers nothing wrong with it its very common and the people that have a problem with it are biggots so that helped a lot and i been wearing panties almost every day now for over six months , but somtimes i still have a hard time deling with it and consider suiside i wish my wife were still here because then i had support i loved her very very much the most wonderful woman god ever created. it took almost 50 years to figuar this out.

  77. v. 7 years ago

    i think the real reson men crossdress is because our socity is very feminen, if we had a lot more violence like say they did 1000 years ago ther would be less of it, either because crossdressers would be killed or to busy fighting to keep from being killed.but then agin crossdressing has been around sinc the begining of time think about it didnt both adam and eve wear a big leaf?

  78. Sabrina 7 years ago

    I wrote a while back for some advise on why my boyfriend likes to be dressed in my clothes. First, thank you everyone for the great comments. They were helpful. However, I am still wondering what drives him to do this. He recently admitted in a round about way that he is bisexual, but says he’s never had a sexual experience with another man. I am open to allowing him to explore this part of his sexuality because I know he won’t leave me for a man, but it does make me nervous. I am not quite sure the question I am trying to ask of all of you, but I know I need some outside sources to give me insight on this issue. He really likes to be dressed up in bed, which I have come to like, and still occasionally wears things like panties in day to day life. I don’t have a problem with any of it, but I need to know why he is this way and why he likes it so much. I have tried to talk to him, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. My problem with is that he can be open enough for me to help dress him and to tell me that he is essentially bisexual, but won’t discuss anything to do with any of it. I want to know if this is something has has always done, but just in secret, and now he feels he can be open about it. I don’t know how to bring it up to him without offending him or making him feel ashamed. I would never want him to think I see him as anything other than the man I love. Can someone please let me know what they think because this is starting to drive me nuts! Thanks!!

    • tonya 6 years ago

      my husband was a crossdresser for many years even when we were dating in high school. I found out about the cross dressing after we were married. At first i was taken back and grossed out about the whole thing but came to be ok with it. He would ask me to buy him things and i did because i loved him and wanted him to be happy. It progressed to using dildos and wearing fake breasts. He loved to sleep in full attire and of course sex was always with him wearing bras, panties, stockings or any thing elese he could wear. He never openly admitted he was bisexual but would love to talk about having sex with men during sex. I dont think he ever had an experience with another man but i was willing to let him explore. I never felt insecure or had any fear he would leave me after all the things we shared together and being together for 30 years. Six months ago he walked out on me and our children to be with another women. Im sure he hasnt shared his crossdressing passion with his girlfriend and dont know if he ever will. I do know that after all the years of crossdressing, and the pure pleasure he got out of it , he cant just stop. He talked about it openly with me during our marrige and said it started when he was a teenager and progressed. He was ashamed of it and hid it untill we were married then he felt he could trust me. I tried to make him feel comfterable with his choice and told him id love him no matter what he wore and bought him things to wear. He loved to wear panties under his pants when we went out and would tell me he wanted to do this all the time and i encouraged him to do so. Keep trying to talk to your man and sooner or later he will be more open with talking to you. Good luck.

      • paul 6 years ago

        need to find a woman who can dress me up as a girl

    • JF 6 years ago

      Sabrina,
      I am in the same situation. I just found out that my boyfriend of 5 years is a cross-dresser. He also is not open with me and I tend to find out things for myself. It all started when I found a VC thong and freaked out because I thought he was cheating. He went on to tell me it was his and girls panties are more comfortable. So I thought nothing of it and believed him. He then started to wear panties everyday. Next, I came home one weekend after being at my parents and his toe nails were painted and I asked him about it and he was like i just felt like doing it. Still naive as I am thought nothing of it. Then he started shaving his whole body. He told me that he has really dry skin and he has to put a lot of lotion on and the lotion sticks to the hair and doesnt get to his skin and thats why he shaves. Now 1 year later after all this stuff has been happening I was putting laundry away and I found skirts, dresses and other female clothes in his drawer. So of course I questioned him about it and he was they are mine and thats all he had to say. So of course I am so confused like what do you mean they are yours and he just said again they are mine. So he is not willing to talk about anything. Finally he told me he likes to dress like a girl. Then I find out that he met other guys online that like to dress like girls and goes to hang out with them. He will leave the house at 10pm and not get home until 6 in the morning and sometimes he doesn’t come home at all until late the next night. He swears they just hang out and watch basketball or sports, swears its nothing sexual but why is he sleeping there and spending odd hours there and swore to me the only time he went out of the house dressed like a girl was at Halloween. But just yesterday i see that he saved a picture of himself dressed like a girl out at a club on my computers desktop and it was not halloween. Questioned him and he was like ok so i’ve been out a couple times. So i just keep finding out he is lying to me. I am so upset and mad about the whole situation. I cant stand to be lied too. I don’t know how long he has been doing this but we have been together for 5 years. To make it worse we just had a daughter 8 months ago…I started finding all the different hints when I was pregnant. I love him with all my heart and I am trying to be understand but it is hard. I don’t know what his intentions are and he wont talk to me. If this is something that he likes to do when I am not around then fine but i dont want to see it. I am not attracted to females and i do not want to be with a female. I am so scared that we are going to get married and one day he is going to say I want to be a woman and want to get a sex change. I dont know if I am wasting my time staying with him or not. He says he loves me and wants to be with me but I keep catching him in lies I dont know if I should believe him. On top of that I support him. He doesnt work, has no money and I pay for EVERYTHING. He can’t buy a diaper for his daughter but he somehow finds money to buy girls clothes. I even caught him buying panties on my credit card. Am I being used? Am I stupid for trying to stay with him and see how things pan out? Is he going to want to be a woman full time at some point. What do I do? At work someone was telling a story about a sick kid at school who needed to be picked up. So they finally got a hold of the kids dad. When the dad came he was dressed like a girl and the kid never heard the end of it. They picked on him and were so mean to him. I am SOO scared that this is going to happen to my daughter. I do NOT ever want her to have to be in that situation because of something her dad chooses to do. I am her mother and she is NOT going to have 2 moms!!! I am so confused! I don’t know what to think what to do or how to feel!!! Can anyone help me!!! email me at jfneedshelp@gmail.com
      Thanks!

    • Carol 7 years ago

      Sabrina: so he likes to get dressed up in bed huh? Ask yourself how many of your girlfriends like to go to bed dressed? Something strange is going on in river city! You need to read the indicators, and youll come to a diagnosis. Good luck dear. Carol

      • Mr Danno 7 years ago

        Julie,
        As a CD myself, I must say your patience seems to be endless. I too had to tell my gf that I love to cross dress. At first much like yourself she was hesitant. She wanted to learn more from me as to why I do, what led up to it, how it makes me feel etc… Having her approach me with an open mind said A LOT to me. For me it came from childhood playing with female cousins. I enjoyed it then and have had a “HIDDEN” passion for ever since. Being married for 10 years I NEVER told my now EX as I for sure she would not have understood. Ok, shame on me for second guessing what she would thought or felt. Thank God that my gf of 1 year now understands. When I first told her, she had many questions and I was happy to answer them. She was NOT judgemental nor was she de-meaning or belittling. Instead she took an interest because she understood it was me and who I am. We have since then have had a very open lifestyle and I am free to dress as little or as much as I want. She even sits with me to pick out new outfits online. I have NO desire to go outside nor do I have a desire to disclose this to anyone else. What is done behind OUR closed doors and is NOT hurtful to each others or others is JUST THAT between US and no one else. Be patient with him and IF you are TRULY in love with him and want to continue the relationship with him take time to talk to him. Maybe ask him in a playful manner if you can paint his nails and let things go from there. He will open up. People in general open up when they feel comfortable in their surroundings. I commend you for sticking in there. GOOD LUCK
        Dan
        aka
        ~Kimmy {;>

      • mia 7 years ago

        k udos baby, Im so excited had cute cous,s myself good luck xoxo

    • Julie 7 years ago

      I am struggling with understanding and being supportive of my boyfriend’s crossdressing. Sexually I find it hot and want more.. but after I want him to go back to what most call normal. When we discuss his crossdressing he gets angry with me no matter what my response is… and if I keep my mouth shut he gets angry that I do not have an option. I try to explain to him that I need to understand what is going on and his response to me is how can I tell you if I dont understand it myself. As his grilfriend, I want to understand, i want to be supportive, I love him dearly… but I will be honest I have no idea what to say to him to make him feel better.. Lord I dont know what to say to mayself… Its hard I know for him dealing with this. But its hard for me too. How do we get past this?? How do we work threw this together?? What Can I do to be more understading and supportive??

    • Shanon 7 years ago

      Hello Sabrina,
      I am a 59 yr. old male that has had crossdressing tendencies since I was about 10 yrs old. Now what I’m about to share is only my opinion. I feel this need to cross dress is because of our genitic background. The way I look at it is everyone was conceived from a male and a female, and every one of us share traits from both our fathers and mothers. I really don’t think that there are any one of us as either 100% male or female. I think the % mix in every individual varies. Some men could be 95% male with only 5% female traits. This combination would probably produce a very manly man. Some men could be 65% male with 35% female traits. Then others men could be 49% male with 51% female traits. It doesn’t have to stop there it may even be as drastic of a difference as a man with 10% male traits and 90% female traits. I also feel this genitic difference is not reserved for men! I’m sure you may know some females that seem to also have some male tendancies. The only difference is that females are rarely thought of as cross dressers. A female can dress any way she likes and is acceptable by society. Lets face it females wear panties that are called “boy shorts” No one gives it a second thought if a female wears a NFL Football Jersey, or a suit, or combat boots, but what would society say if a guy wears panty hose, heals, and a skirt? I feel that it is all genetics and none of us had any say so during conception. Take your own pole among individuals you know, both male and females. Ask each individual (knowing what they know now) if they had a choice of being born male or female, what would they choose. You may be surprised with some individuals answers. Female have no boundaries, when it comes to fashon, or beauty products. Like I said earlier, this is only my opinion!

    • penny 7 years ago

      Dear sabrina you are very special, but i know i have writen before and you say you still wonder why he has this need to dress, well i ha ve been dressing since i was 12 now 55 and i can not explain why I need to dress, but I can assure you that I do Need to. I an also sure that he most likely cannot explain why it is shuch a strong need that he and we all have but it is like breathing and i am sure it will always be there . I also asure you that dressing allows us to explore the bi thing I for one love to dress put on make up go to gay clubs and be a tramp. when dressed i become the fem tramp thing that I would love to be and I would bet that he might , no probably will like dessing and being taken as a girl good luck and love you both penny

    • penny 7 years ago

      Sebrina, god bless you both first it is so hard for any of us to find the courage to come clean with our ladies and he is very lucky to have your help and wanting to understand and support.for one i know i would give anything for a girl such as you. I think that he may well eant to experriance another guy, but if youboth work it out nicely and you dont mind i think it may be great but dont allow the experiance to couse a problem between you, i dream of being able to dress with a ldy go out and pick up a guy for us both to enjoy hope you work it out , but ywes it is veryhard for most us cds to open up and explain, because i dont htink any of us know how or why we MUST dress good luck penny

    • Theresa 7 years ago

      Sabrina, many of us have fantasies about being with another man, or more frequently another CD or TS. Fantasies are a difficult thing becayse we always have them scripted in our heads and they never really pan out they way we want them too. Sometimes we are embarrassed to let people in to our innermost person and let them know what we are really hoping for. It took me a long time to explain this to my wife. But once I was able to let her fully in and have her understand my desires, I felt like a weight had been lifted. He is extremely fortunate to have you in his life, but be patient, your being accepting of his crossdressing might be all that he can emotionally and mentally handle right at this point. As he becomes more comfortable he may let you in a little farther. It does take time, it has for all of us.

      • gail 7 years ago

        Why Do Men Cross dress?

        Speaking for myself I’m not sure why.
        I enjoy the feeling cross dressing provides both physical and psychological.
        I remember, as a little boy, being envious of little girls at least I think I do. Memory is a funny thing, and we often invent or exaggerate the past to predict or justify the present.

        I get a thrill from the fact that cross dressing is still (somewhat) taboo.
        But I have to admit it is a taboo without many serious risks.
        A safe taboo as it were. For me anyway the best of all worlds.

        The danger (minimal) associated with partaking of forbidden activity, plus the physical and psychological pleasure gained also delivers a certain youthful energy, and as I age this seems increasingly important.

        In short, I’m not sure why I cross dress, but I suspect there’s no single reason.

    • Suzzanna 7 years ago

      Sabrina, I kind of doubt that he is bisexual ! From what you have said , I don’t think he knows who he is, or what he wants himself ! Before anyone can help him ,he has got to be honest with himself . You cannot expect him to tell you what he wants when he isn’t sure himself. If I had more to go on, I might be able to help a little better. Have you talked to him about seeing a therapist ? He might be suffering from gender dysphoria . A therapist will knowthe signs , but he will have to be honest with him or her.Sorry I couldn’t be more help!

  79. Jenna 7 years ago

    Why do men crossdress? Hmm….so many ways to answer but are any of them ever right?

    In my personal experience I’ve always aimed for one goal. To pass as a genetic woman. Yes, not as just some floozy or whore but as a passable female that can make some mens heads turn. If I can make women do that as well it’s a bonus in my books cause I know I’m doing something right.

    The wearing of intimates is always nice. I find that the fabric feels much more relaxed than a males undergarments and can still hold the family jewels in place correctly as long as I’m not wearing anything too tight.

    As for when I started this trans-trend of dressing up I guess I would chalk it up to when I was around 8-10 years old. Always enjoyed being around girls more than boys and started to thinking “what does it feel like to be them?” From there it has continued and developed into me being more open and feminine.

    I do plan on going completely female one day but I still am presenting as male for now with a few ‘tweeked’ features’.

    • mia 7 years ago

      more base like sexy clothes & to be pretty

  80. terri donavon 7 years ago

    why do we cross dress? I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me the reason is that the only time I feel complete as a person is when I’m dressed as a woman. I’m sitting here at the computer, my wife is visiting her sister 100 miles away and I”m dressed in a very tasteful skirt and top. I’m also wearing stockings and high heels. a Wig and makeup complete the “illusion”. I feel more relaxed and at ease than at any other time during the week, I feel in touch with the Real Me. It is a little disconcerting that I do not have the courage as of yet to discuss my aberration with anyone other than this site, but I hope to some day.

    I feel very thankful that I realized what was needed to make me feel happy and content, I only wish that I had come to this conclusion 20 years ago.

    Bless all of us who cross-dress, the support from knowing that there are others with my “affliction” is very comforting.

  81. leona 7 years ago

    why do men crossdress? for me thats simple. because it makes me feel more the person i want to be. and as living a 1000 yrs. ago things in some places have not changed much. we still must be carefull. i dress 24/7 but not always to attract attention. i do it for me and me alone

    • Kitty 6 years ago

      My current bf is a cross dresser, I am 17 and he is 20. He is a very nice guy and I love him and we are planning for the future. He told me this as soon as we got together, and I still love him. It's always fun to play around, he likes to wear a dress and I dress like a guy. I accept him for who he is, and I love all of him. I just wish that people would understand people like I do. We all have bad things in our past that have made us who we are, and I respect people for what they choose to do with their lives, as long as it's not drugs or getting themselves hurt.

  82. TEO 7 years ago

    I think it is easiest, simply if a woman is a crossdresser, you surely not identify her, because she can wear any think she like, and no problem whith her satisfashion on the way to wear. Men has the problen that we can´t wear skirts, pantyhose, makeup,etc

  83. Sabrina 7 years ago

    Thank you everyone for your comments and advice. He is slowly being more open, and I am still accepting no matter what he reveals to me. Thanks again for all the support, and good luck to everyone!

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      Wonderful to hear Sabrina. I wish you are yours a blessed Christmas.

      • Suzzanna 7 years ago

        After I sat here reading how some people like myself were having troubles coping and weren’t sure of who they were ,or what they expected from life, I find myself in another situation that I hope no other crossdresser or transgendered person ever has to go through ! My wife has left me , and has filed for a divorce !I have recently come to face the fact that she is going to use it at a reason for her leaving . She had every intrntion on doing this from day one . She has had another lover since I have beem away , and I hope he gets to see her true colors first hand without anyone having to tell him ! In the end , she will have to answer to GOD for all her selfish ,greedy and materialistic actions ! I hope everyone in a position of being engaged does some things to protect themselves from these types of actions ! one , make sure you tell her everything about your crossdressing habits,Two if she won’t sign a pre-nup , walk away as fast as you can ! She wouldn’t sign one , and now I have to worry about her getting my house ! No matter how much she says she loves you ,if she won’t sign it , run !

      • mia 6 years ago

        Suzy,
        let me first say, i’m sorry sugar. it hurts.
        be yourself sweetie it will be worth it

      • David Therest 7 years ago

        I am in the same boat as you my friend. Fortunately I had enough money to buy her out in cash. I’m a carpenter, plumber, welder, auto mechanic, electrician etc. Very good looking, and physically fit. We enjoyed the very best sex ever for the last 3 years of our 18 year marriage; Then, her stunningly attractive -trusted sister, who visited me 2 weeks after we were married paid me a visit while my wife was at work, (I refused her advances). Ultimately she sided with her sister like a sheep being lead off to slaughter. So take heart! You are not alone.

      • tonya 6 years ago

        Would certainly like to meet you david!!!!!!

      • Jenna 7 years ago

        Well David…just to let you know I’m in a strugling relationship right now. I’ve never been very good at holding them together for some reason. I think alot of it has to do with my lack of VERBAL communication skills. I have met many a people who have helped to open my eyes to what is really out there though and to also help me express myself outwardly about my feminimity. I do see myself becoming completely female down the road but my finances are what you would call sparse. Otherwise I have ousted myself from being recognized anymore to my family so I’ve been living a very solemn lifestyle.
        I have done many a things for work but nothing ever that allowed me to be ‘dressed’ at all. As for that I’ve only been able to do it while on time off-which I don’t get much of. If you would like a pic of me go here to my msn homepage= http://www.myspace.com/krestkiller

        There you can also learn more on me and stuff. Hope to hear back.

  84. Jay 7 years ago

    i crossdress for just bout a few real reasone the main one is that i ahve always realy wanted to be a girl in ever sense of the real way that males realy want to be the oppisite sex they were born as and so do i i just want to be female

    i also do really enjoy the female clothing it is so much better to wear feels so good when you are in dresses skirts slips it is all so very soft and makes you feel oh so feminie which is where i do so long to be there are a few more reasons of which i will go into later!

  85. Suzzanna 7 years ago

    To Jay and David , this site is not put up as a dating service. It is used as a tool to help those with questions or with problems regarding crossdressing ! If you want to contact each other , please do not do it on this site ! Use your own personal e-mails or the phone ! Have a little respect for others !

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 7 years ago

      Thanks Suzzanna,

      I’ve removed the posts by Jay and David.
      Jay, David – this site is meant as a positive and supportive place for crossdressers and their significant others to come and learn about crossdressing. Please find other more appropriate places to engage in this kind of discussion.

      -Vanessa

      • mia 7 years ago

        hi sweetie do you ever wish you could take it all back?

      • Ragina 7 years ago

        Vanessa, thank you dear. That was starting to get rediculous. As always, love the web site. Ragina.

  86. Suzzanna 7 years ago

    David , those comments you made about the reasons for crossdressing are not correct ! They might be your reasons ,if in fact you are one ,but I don’t really think you know what you are talking about ! For most ,it has got nothing to do with sex , they just want to get in touch with their feminine side ! If you are so smart ,then why haven’t you opened up as a business ?

    • mia 6 years ago

      go suzy!!!!!!!!!!
      what a jerk.

      • Carol 6 years ago

        Mia your right. This is the same pervert that was ruining this site with vulgar and suggestive language last year. Ignore this guy. hes just a fetishist.

  87. gail 7 years ago

    I don’t believe any of us really know why we cross dress.
    Some of us are, and have always been ” inside women”, at least that’s what we tell ourselves.
    I have always envied girls and wished I was one.
    Some dress for the sensuality both physical and psychological.
    I love the feel of nylons against my legs, the thought my silk panties caressing my butt, and the sight of my ” small but perky breasts” outlined against a pink halter top.
    Some dress for the thrill of breaking a taboo, and the delicious smell of decadence.
    I love wearing panties, nylons, cleavage creator, and feminine tops while engaging in serious political, philosophical, or spiritual discussions.

    In short how is one to pick out one factor when cross dressing affords so much real pleasure with so little real harm.

    Hugs,
    gail

    • Carol 7 years ago

      Good for you Gail. Walk your own road, and be sure to leave pebbles behind so you can find your way home. I know your feelings, and sometimes a person can get lost in their dream, and never want to go back again. Love Carol ann

  88. leona 7 years ago

    Gail, I loved your post. I must say that i to love the feel of fine silk and lace against my skin. I have felt this way all of my life. And so enjoy being dressed and in a setting that stimulates the mind. I have been able to join a small group that meets once a week and we engage it conversation from politics, pholosophy just about any subject that can open our minds. I am the only CD-TG but am accepted for myself. I love my open toe heels and skinny jeans. but being winter here i wear my knee-high boots. Not only is the conversation great but being accepted for Leona is much more rewarding.

    • gail 7 years ago

      Thanks Leona,

      I appreciate the kind words.
      It does seem all the senses are magnified whenever I’m “en femme”.
      Reds are redder, greens are greener, and of course pinks are pinker.
      I suppose to be fair one must also say blues are bluer.

      Hugs,
      gail

  89. Danielle 7 years ago

    I’m in need of help/advice. I’m about to tell my girlfriend of 3 months about my “secret hobby” in the next few days. I feel it’s important to share with her because it’s a significant part of me, and I don’t want to lie to her. However, I’m extremely nervous. I’m not sure what to say or how to bring it up. I feel somewhat confident in the fact that she’s pretty accepting about many things. She really likes Eddie Izzard, a drag comedian. She also really loved the scene in “Boondock Saints” where Agent Smecker crossdressed to help the Saints. But I’m still freaking out about it. I mean, she’s not dating Agent Smecker, is she? Any advice? Suggestions?

    • Carol 7 years ago

      Dear, if your girlfriend has bared herself to say she likes movie stars in drag, and drag comedians, shes throwing you a hint. Dont get all frazzled she might dump you. Youre likely her dream package, and she just hasent opened it yet. Good luck, Carol

    • Shanon 7 years ago

      Hello Danielle,
      My first advice would be to try and find out what your girl friend’s mindset would be on the subject, before actually confronting her with your “secret hobby”. I’ve been married for 36 yrs. and a little over 2 years ago I was up front and shared my ” secret hobby” with my wife. She did not take it as well as I had hoped! She felt like she has been deceived all these years and questioned my manhood. I tried to explain, but I’m sure it was a shock and her way of dealing with it,was to pretend that the conversation never took place. Now I love my wife dearly and didn’t want to push things in the wrong direction, so I just dropped the subject. After about 8 weeks of very little communication things returned to normal. It is still my “secret hobby” that I would love to share with her. I feel that it may be something that you should try to get out in the open, because it would be more enjoyable for both parties without the secret. I honestly feel that most women would want her man to have some female tendencies. They want you to be a protector, someone to open the door for them, be the spider killer, but also want someone to be sensitive. Maybe this girl is right for you, maybe not. If she is totally against it it would be better to find out sooner than later. I can’t speak for you, but my cross dressing desires have not diminished over the years. In fact I believe they have gotten stronger.

      • Danielle 7 years ago

        I just wanted to thank Shanon and Gail. I told her tonight and your help was invaluable. I stayed positive and was not on the defensive. It went wonderfully. She was extremely accepting. In fact, she was rather excited. She thought it was awesome and she wants me to dress up for her sometime soon. Thank you all for helping me with this.

      • Ragina 7 years ago

        Danielle, Hi and Happy New Year! I’m sure it is for you. Isn’t it a wonderful feeling to have a supportive SO in your life? I too have a wonderful wife that loves me for who I am. Enjoy yourself and love her. The benifits will be well worth it. Ragina.

      • Danielle 7 years ago

        Thank you, all, for your advice. But I have a question for Shannon.
        How should I go about finding out what her mindset is? How do I bring that up without spilling everything?

      • Shanon 7 years ago

        Hi Danielle,
        Sorry, I haven’t had a chance to check your question until just now. That Really is a tough question! I know you would rather know how your lady feels sooner than later. Some how you may need to guide a conversation into the direction of the subject. Maybe you could use your situation as a friend that may have confided in you, and observe her reaction. If she appears open to the possibilities that may open the door for you. You may think that is a somewhat deceptive route. There are many sections of this site that may be more helpful. I certainly wouldn’t want you to lose some one special in your life because of my advice, and I know you are in a difficult position. Please keep me informed on what path you may take and the outcome. Best of luck Shanon.

    • gail 7 years ago

      Hi Danielle,

      For what it’s worth I would try to get myself in a frame of mind where I’m not apologizing for my behavior, or asking for acceptance, rather I would attempt in a straight forward way to describe cross dressing, and my attraction to it. In other words, as much as possible operate from a position of strength not weakness. This has the advantage of allowing your girl friend to reject you without guilt, and if you’re rejected it will allow you to handle the rejection with dignity.

      Good luck!!!!
      gail

      • Yvonne 7 years ago

        I crossdress for a number of reasons. I enjoy the feel of the soft silky clothing, I feel more confident, more complete and yes! I enjoy the femininity I feel when dressed as well. There are times I wonder what it would be like to be a woman? If it were possible, I would, temporarily, trade being male in order to be a female. I think that would be wonderfull experience. I would, if my circumstances were different, dress 24/7. the only exception would be while at work and then I would be wearing all fem intimates underneath my work clothes.
        I am not worried about loosing my job if found out? Its no ones business what I wear underneath my outer clothes. I enjoy showing the feminin part of me. when wearing a dress or skirt and the intimates that go under them, they feel natural on me and when I have to remove them, its like a part of me I am letting go and don’t want to.

  90. David Therest 7 years ago

    Dear Gail, I enjoy reading your introspective comments. You seem to be a level-headed, intelligent, and confident woman. I’m happy for you.

    • gail 7 years ago

      Thanks David,

      It was kind of you to refer to me as a woman.
      The desire to be one has waxed and waned over the last few years.
      At times the animating force in my life, at other times, while still present, less dominant.

      Neither fish nor fowl as it were.

      Happy New Year!!!
      gail

      • Robyn 7 years ago

        Is there any where in Seattle Metro that I can dress up and take my girlfriend, she has many gay friends, in fact her son is gay! . But she wants me to dress up and for us to go out to dinner and dancing.
        Please let me know of these type of places in and around seattle.

        She has viewd the foregn film Just Like A Woman, but didnt connect wth the unconditionality of love in it.

        All the Best in this decade

        Robyn in Seattle

      • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
        Vanessa Law 6 years ago

        Neighbors is a t-friendly night club that’s a lot of fun.

      • Susan Veronica 6 years ago

        In my previous post couldn’t put my whole name. So Robyn, I don’t live in Seattle, I would love to, but do a search on the web. I know of a few sites where you can talk to people and they can tell you of a good place. Let me know how it works.

        Susan Veronica Miller

  91. Suzzanna 7 years ago

    Dear David , No , I have never felt the need to masturbate while wearing feminine clothes. It is not a sexual stimulation for me as though it is for some ! I found and article that could answer a lot of questions that I have seen recently , especially one that Penny had !1- Crossdresers are gay : More than likely not . As Dr. William Stayton , a therapist for crossdressers reported “People associate crossdressing with effeminancy and being gay and are not gay ! They are very definintely heterosexuals ! Crossdressers Are Made ,. Not Born : The current conventional wisdom is to be that crossdressing is a result of both Nature and Nuture , genetic influence just as for all of us there are things that happen that program us to how we’ll be redheads or thin women. We all have preferences , but the truth is there”s no common thread , reports Dr. Stayton . Crossdressers Can Be Cured : ” Truth is you can’t change it ” Dr Stayton concludes . Most professionals now try to counsel crossdressing rather than to eradicate it . Crossdressers Are Schizophrenic: In reality , crossdressers exhibit slight personality alterations in their “femme ” role , but in general , but to the same extent that many people’s do when assuming differnt roles in life ,i.e. CEO , Husband , Father . Crossdressing Develops in Adulthood: We find that crossdressing starts very young ! Mnay start with getting feelings for Mom’s clothing. It is very rare that it starts in adulthood !

    • Susan 6 years ago

      Hello Suzzanna! I was interested in your comment to David, concerning masturbation while dressed. I know when I began to crossdress during my early years, 12-13, I could not get through an hour dressed in my mother's bra and panties without masturbating. When I reached my early 20's I found that masturbation had become less and less of a need. Although now in my 20's I still at times, not often, find myself needing to release these special feelings no matter how much I attempt to avoid it. When this happens I find myself becoming very moody and depressed, feeling that I have degraded my femininity. May i ask how you managed to get past this ordeal? Thank you…
      Susan

  92. Samantha 7 years ago

    Well, sisters. I guess, I can’t say why we crossdress in general. I can give my own reason, you’ll probably laugh, but here it is.

    I am a teenager, but for whatever reason I just feel more comfortable in the other gender’s clothing. A sense of security, a sense of freedom, a sense of tranquility.

    I haven’t told my family about my “habit,” only my stepmom who lets me “borrow” her clothes. I am still embarassed about my, “habit.” However, talking to people about it helps and it helps to talk to those with the same “habit,” as me.

    I think my biggest problem as a transgender woman, is I am too nervous about anyone finding out. As much as I would love to go out in high-heels, panties, a skirt, a bra, and a blouse, I am just too afraid. I wouldn’t be but my father is extremely homophobic (and associates crossdressing with homosexuality.)

    That is my story, sisters. I wish you all good times and luck with whatever you’re trying to accomplish.

    • john turnes 6 years ago

      Samantha, Your post mentions only your stepmom knows of your inner lady. You didn't mention if you were an only child or if other siblings are living in the household as well. It is truly great that your stepmon is acceptable enough of your transgender lifestyle to allow you to borrow some of her clothes.

      With your fathers stern outlook of life, it is a sure bet that no amount of reasoning regarding your crossdressing will ever change his mind to a point of being open minded in the near future. But you do have one avenue open to you that you may not have given any thought to.

      Since your stepmon is helping you with a line of clothing to use, some time when you are home with her alone and you are crossdressed. Could she render any pointers or tips to help you correctly and respectfully emulate the gentle sex you prefer to dress as..

      Let her know how deeply you appreciate her assistance in this matter as you have no one else to confide in. And would she help you to correctly represent girls in the right manner at this time.

      Joan Brooks

    • David / Darlene 7 years ago

      There is nothing wrong with being gay however, you don’t need to be gay to be a cross dresser. they are 2 totally different & separate issues. See : Ask Doctor Fox at : http://www.AskDoctorFox.info

  93. David / Darlene 7 years ago

    I have been secretly cross dressing since I was 13. I have always felt much more comfortable as a woman than as a man. In fact, i even tried to suppress my female side by getting married & having kids. That did not work & in fact made things 10 times worse. My message to everyone is to just be yourself in life & accept yourself as yourself & do NOT try to be something that you are not. I was born in a male body, but I know I was always meant to be a FEMALE. I tried to be “Straight” (whatever that is) but I can only be me (Darlene). David is just the body I am imprisoned in.

  94. David / Darlene 7 years ago

    I would LOVE to meet other Cross Dressing and Trans gendered friends here in the Orlando / Central Florida area. If you are in the area & would also like a friend to talk to and share with, please contact me, thank you. E-Mail : DavidLeeFox@Gmail.com

  95. justsayin 7 years ago

    Sin is sin – we all war with our flesh and it’s lusts whether they be for alcohol, drugs, homosexuality, pornography, adultry, fornification, murder …etc. Desiring or lusting – no matter how powerful – does not legitimize them. God told us to stay away from sin-listed in detail what those sins are and said for your own good and for the joy of eternal life do not do these things – don’t debate with me – trust me I am God – I have very good reasons for my instructions to you. – Refraining from our lusts is obedience to Jesusus command to pick up our cross and follow him. In this life we sacrifice a great many lusts or desires of our flesh.

    • Susan Veronica Mille 6 years ago

      For you to say you’re God, while signing Justsaying and you committed a bigger sin than the rest of us girls here. Although you’re right about sin, consider what you just did. That’s why all of us needs Jesus. Until then, with his mercy at heart I will dressup as a lady.

      Susan Veronica

      • Lara Rea 6 years ago

        Ya know! Blow it out yer A-hole. First prove there is a god, and then prove your's is the real God. One persons belief is not the same as mine. Organized religion has killed more people than any war! This is your BELIEF. It's what you believe! I believe if it doesn't hurt anyone else then it's none of your business. So shut up and go away! Lara Rea

    • mia 7 years ago

      creep

  96. marilyndelph 6 years ago

    I have just finished reading all the comments and questions from the other members, I really enjoyed the insight and variety of comments. I think the reasons one crossdreeses can vary greatly from each individual.I can onl speak for myself,I didn’t chose this life,it choose me.I started crossdressing at a very young age,before kindergarten,I don’t know why it just happened.I do know enen at that young age thier was a sexual attraction,I didn’t know what it was then.The desire to dress in womens clothing has never subsided,in fact today it’s stronger than ever.I was always a very athletic person and participated in sports my whole life,I always presented a macho image,but the desire to be femme was always thier.I have been married three times,I never told my wives about my crossdressing befor we got married,I always lied to myself that I didn’t need to do it,but that is exactly what it was a lie.When I did finally tell them it led to a divorce,so please be honest with your partner.Today I enjoy dressing more than ever,I’ve gotten quite good at applying makeup and enjoy going out as a woman,I wear womens clothing when I come home from work always wear panties.I don’t know if I’m gay or not,I know I don’t feel attracted to men unless I’m dressed,and I must admit it is very satisfying to be complimented by a man or woman.I don’t know why I do it,but I do know I enjoy it, it is’nt something that goes away,I did all the purging things many times,only to go out and start over.Today I live alone and enjoy all the femine things,this may not help anyone understand,because I don’t,but I’ve chosen not to worry about it,just enjoy in,mary

  97. Amanda Jena 6 years ago

    What I love about this site is the reminder that despite the frustration, despair, loneliness or happiness (in some instances)of our individual situations there are so many ‘sisters’ out there who for whatever reason share this common feeling, need or desire. Women will never experience societies and peer groups limitations on the decision to dress in boxers or Y fronts, Pants (trousers here in the UK) and well pants, shirt, tie, vest or T shirt. For a woman can dress as masculine or feminine as the occasion or they desire without any abuse, ridicule or even assault. But then I guess any woman reading this is exceedingly enlightened and understanding already, although you go far beyond that in my estimation, or hopefully seeking to be so for your partner, relative or friend.
    But back to the thread before I end up writing a page or two. It would seem there are too many complex reasons as to why ‘Men’ Cross-dress. When I was young I knew nothing of gender reorientation or even that the desire to dress like my sisters was an issue had it been remotely an option. I followed the path society and family pushed me down, suppressed any desires of my true feelings to the occasional borrowing of an available ‘family’ dress when I was alone and unlikely to be disturbed. As grew older I did what was expected of me, marriage, a young family, work, probably when I think about it years went by without me having the opportunity or time alone to experience those sensations and feelings again. Later on came an opportunity in the guise of fancy dress and the excuse of charity collections, it seems taboos, disgust and horror go out the window in the cause of charity and a bit of humour. Well I was given free rein- the long flowing wig, make up, nails, bra (water filled fake breasts) sexy little jumper and short skirt. I felt wonderful, I received loads of compliments from women how good and pretty I looked and one even compared me to her sister (I suspect they were just being nice but it still felt fantastic and I don‘t get that as fella). A couple more events were ‘permitted’ before my wife pulled the plug so to speak. Obviously I have gone on from there, in private but that’s another story. I can’t describe how good, fantastic, euphoric, relaxing sometimes even sexual it feels. I can’t imagine any woman could really relate to how we truly feel unless of course they had been forced to be a man for most of their lives.

  98. Melissa 6 years ago

    Why do I cross dress? As a cross dresser for over 45 years I can definitely tell you what happens to me if I don’t cross dress. I experience extreme anxiety and depression. Over time I will eventually become suicidal. Recently, I became suicidal because of my lack of cross dressing so in desperation, I told my wife everything. I explained that I always felt that my inner soul was female since I was 5 years old. After 21 years of marriage and rigid attempts to stop my cross dressing, it was a complete failure. The good news is that my loving wife has accepted me and is working with me to find some meaning in my life. She insisted that I receive therapy which I agreed since I was getting suicidal. She allows me to cross dress in her presence. I even cross dress in public when I attend my transgender support group meetings which she also attends with me.
    When I cross dress, I begin to feel very feminine and experience a peaceful relaxed feeling. The feeling sometimes turns to a form of happiness and joy. Perhaps because I am feeling like the woman inside of me. Its interesting to note that my wife said she would rather see me alive in a dress then commit suicide. Since I have been cross dressing regularly now, I feel much better emotionally. Surprisingly, my wife and I are closer than ever. There is no doubt a strong feminine side inside me that wants to feel like a woman. Perhaps its Gender Identity Disorder but I have no desire to have a sex change. I love my wife very much and I am grateful for her support.
    I hope this comment helps.

  99. Patty 6 years ago

    I have done so since a pre teen…its just who I am

  100. gail 6 years ago

    Based on my experience NoOne’s comment with regards to the advisability of “coming clean” concerning one’s Crossdressing proclivities is the majority opinion. How often it is lived up to in the day to day world is another matter. But, however that may be, allow me to take the opposite side. I have never been in favor of announcing my Crossdressing ways to anyone other than fellow

  101. Denise Carolina 6 years ago

    My current conclusion is that a CD instinct plays in 2 different directions: physiologics and psychologics.
    Having a matured man side, married and with kids, I early realized that inside this coat there is something different beyond appearance.
    Since my childhood my relatives and closer friends mentioned I had a girly body: the waist, hints, legs, the feet and also the breasts looked effeminate. Such comments confused my mind about my gender since my early age. Traces of the feminine body shape still remain.
    Some decades ago it was usual kid’s inheritance from their older relatives or friends some clothes or footwear still usable. I remember wearing in public a pair of flat red girly sandals from a relative girl: what a strange but simultaneous pleasant feeling.
    I registered this in my mind and later realized that despite being a boy, I had some female attitudes recorded in my DNA.
    I am a closet CD, shy, early 50’s, with a degree, trying to let express the inner hidden female side.
    Very attracted by CDs, GG’s and TG’s/TVs. NO MEN PLEASE.
    Currently I feel a big appeal from my female side, pushing me to step out in public and share experiences by meeting other similar girls but…so far I am not courageous enough…
    I think no matter the gender prevailing on you, we all have a certain different side…if we can find here some fun and enjoy a litle bit of life against our stress days, why not sharing it with others similar?
    My only partial and possible presentation as a CD in public is walking outdoors with a pair of flat female sandals and polished toe nails with a clear varnish and some women’s underwear such as a bras, during summertime is, whenever possible. I just love the feeling of it and my fem side appears more sensitive, gentle and submissive. It is a great relief four the soul.

    • Susan Veronica 6 years ago

      You are right that fun has to be part of the equation and sharing is right on the point. I am a more closeted cd’er just for not having anyone to share with and the older we get, I a almost 50’ish with a degree, the harder it gets to find friends in that category.

  102. Karen 6 years ago

    We all crossdress for many reasons. For me it is not always wearing pretty female cloths, it’s more about feeling feminine. To have the right frame of mind and most things are possible. A question for you all, If it was granted to you to wake up tomorrow as A perfect female, or A convincing crossdresser who everybody acepted, or going to a place where you can be a woman full time the going home to be a man again, or is there another choice? I know what I would want. Love Karen

    • avalana 6 years ago

      indeed! i dress because it feels quite right! most of the time it's panties,poured into jeans a bra and a shirt.after all, what do gfs' wear?

  103. Joleen 6 years ago

    Recently I went out and bought me a nice marron mid length skirt and a slortsleeved pink blouse to go with it. After putting it on and then checking myself in the mirror, I now know why I enjoy dressing!
    Aside from the way the clothes make me feel when dressed, I also enjoy the view. At 59, I am no Pamala Sue Anderson, but I dont care.
    I feel great, I feel like I just want to go out to the world and say “This is who I am and I don’t care who knows it.” Of course, given my wifes view on dressing as well as general society, not a good idea, at least, not yet. I will stay where I am for now, back in the shadows, but one day, I feel the sun shall burst forth. for myself and for all of us ladies.

    • Carol 6 years ago

      Joleen, Take an hour, get your favourite combination on, get your face on, get your hair just right, and if your not Pamala Sue Anderson, nobody cares. Hang that purse over your shoulder and uh, I forgot…. get that big smile on, and your ready to meet the world. Everyone is going to like you so go show them what good it. Bless you Take care. Carol

      • Vanessa Law 6 years ago

        Great advice Carol! Smiling not only makes you feel good, but is a natural reaction to crossdressing, and helps you pass to boot!

  104. Denise Carolina 6 years ago

    I have just read Joleen’s wonderful comment, I do really feel like her, in fact I am also in my 50’s and my inner female side keeps pushing me out to the world, despite her daily hidden closure in a kind of man’s body. Thank you so much and be blessed.

  105. Melody 6 years ago

    I actually did it. I put on a nice blue knee length skirt and a gold color silk blouse, along with a pair of nice sandalwood thigh-hi’s and low heeled black pumps, got in the car(during daylite no less) and went to the post office to mail out a letter(didn’t get out of car though), then went thru the drive-in at McDonalds then off to pay a bill(again, a drive thru). Although I didnt get out of the car, still it felt really good to get out and there was no problems at all. I think the young woman at the McDonalds drive thru might have noticed? Not sure? She kind of did a quick double take with out trying to look obvious. Anyway. It was fun and it felt good. Going out enfemme is wonderful and relaxing. May do it again this week. Wife is away visiting.

    • Carol 6 years ago

      So the wife is away, but remember she is “out” enjoying the pleasures of being a woman. Women are essentially exhibitionists, competing for looks from men, and compliments from other women. You deserve the same respect, so dont get frazzled when someone looks at you, everybody looks at women, even other women. Its part of the game.

  106. Debbie 6 years ago

    Why do I cross dress? This is a very complex question for me to explain… even to myself… so I’ll try to tell you about this part of my secret life.

    I often wonder why I desire to wear a bra, panties and camisole under my male clothes when I’m out in public. It’s a secret I have that only a few close friends know about me. For me… it’s like my way for feminine girl inside to express herself. I’ve gotten to the point I feel missing a part of me without them. It’s like my secret desire fulfilled to a point when I wear them. I would like to wear more… a blouse… a skirt… along with a padded bra to give me more cleavage. To be my feminine self and show the world the other side of me… But I do fear how society might judge me for who I am… so I’m hesitant to venture out cross dressed. I do not need to be cured or fixed as some might think. I’m girl all dressed up with no where to go…

    I’ve been single for 54 years and male. I’m comfortable in that role, in this male dominated society, and use the advantages of my genetic gender. I’m attracted to females and not to men and I consider myself as straight… but I like to imagine outside the box when I’m dressed in female attire.

    I dream of waking one morning and find I have a curvy female body. That would be the ultimate gift… or desire in my life… if only for… one beautiful day. It would be as if I had always been female, my identify and all I have would reflect this, along with all my friends. They would know me as a woman and my life as a male would have never happened. I would wish that day would never end and I could keep that beautiful body and life till my death. But I live with who I am and I like who I am despite that dream.

    I’m not saying I want a gender change at this point in my life. I don’t think an operation could give me a true vagina, with all its complex pleasures. I’m not sure at my age it would be wise to flood my body with female hormones. This might lead to health problems… and I value my health.

    I do enjoy being a male at times. But the desire to change into feminine attire is a compulsion with me and a sexual turn on. I love to spend my evenings cross dressed and it is my way to relax.

    So… why do I desire to wear an uncomfortable bra, straps that slide, that itch at my waist when I shave, and high heels would be a conundrum of sorts to explain, even to myself. I know why woman burned their bras and abandoned their high heels and corsets. Nature never meant for woman, or men, to wear them. But at times I want to walk in their shoes and live like one of them is all I can say.

    I watched my father kill himself slowly with smoking and alcohol in the last year of his life. My secret passion is not self-destructive as his was and I do not smoke or drink. But I identify in private as both male and female, a mix of both genders. I think it gives me a better view on life and gender issues. I do envy woman’s variety of clothes, fabrics, and their empathy toward others. CD’s, cross dressers, have been the nicest group of people I’ve ever met and I’m proud to be counted as one of them.

    • Susan Veronica 6 years ago

      Is very nice to hear your story I identify with it and thank you for the compliments. I am almost the 50 mark and single. I do smoke because of stress and very moderate drinker. One post before was right we’re not transgender, just crossdressers.

      • Debbie 6 years ago

        Thank you Susan. Yes… you’re right… we’re just cross dressers. The thrill of soft silky materials as it slips against my hairless legs and body is almost intoxicating. For me… it’s almost as wonderful as dark chocolate… or a warm blanket on a cool night.

      • Susan Veronica 6 years ago

        Oh sweetie, don’t even get me started as how I feel with those soft fabrics on my body. Intoxicating doesn’t even cut it, I think that I run out of words by now and I like dark chocolate and I appreciate the warm blanket on a cool nite. We had a few of them during this March. I also don’t plan or think of surgery, not even when I think outside the box. I like my nature as it is and no amount of surgery will change that. I live in a relatively tolerant, although not exactly accepting area, but still can’t go out fully dressed because I have no one to share with. I feel good about myself but if is only for me, I don’t go out dressed based on my choice. If I would have some sisters around, many are hiding, it would be a different story. I tried to e-mail to a few of them, but they declined to go out for a social outing. So that’s to say that we still have a bit of a problem going out in the real world, but hopefully that will change. I read blogs on internet about that day coming an I hope so. I don’t know if I can post such links for you to read on this site. But I am happy for you sister and hopefully one day you’ll have your wish. 😉

      • melissa 6 years ago

        I have a boyfriend of almost two years and he has confessed to me, about six months into the relationship about his cross-dressing and sexual fetishs. I am very supportive and open-minded about these aspects of his life, even to the point of being turned-on because he is turned on by them. Before I divulge too much information and possibly become too explicit, I apologize in advance for this. I'm doing my best to try and educate myself so I may satisfy his needs as well as be appreciative of them. You see I am a psychology major and there honestly isn't whole lot explaining cross-dressing, other than generic text book simplicities. I feel a perspective coming from the source may be my best hope.

      • Lara Rea 6 years ago

        Melissa: I would like to talk to you about you'r situation and hopefully try and explain some of the feelings of a cross dresser. This will remain as professional as we can keep it and in no way will I ask for any contact other than an e-mail so we have a way to converse. If you agree and think I may be of help, contact me at LaraReaCD@gmail.com. Please, I ask other's on this site to not contact me as I will not answer at this address unless I specifically contact you. Thank you, Lara Rea

      • Carol 6 years ago

        Hi Debbie. I loved your comparison of silk to chocolate. Thats great. Today Im leaving for two weeks in florida, taking in the sights, concerts, and dinner theatre. I worked 1/2 a day getting my clothes into my MIATA roadster. The stuff was packed under compression when I put down the trunk lid. Thats just some shorts, a skirt. A couple skorts, and some tops… and some pantyhose for theatre. Its too hot there to wear em. Also a bottle of whiskey. The make up kit is on the floor beside me up front. What a squeeze. Im off…. zoooooooooom! Luv, Carol

  107. Georgia 6 years ago

    Sabrina
    I am kind of new to this entire experience and the only reason I am writing is because my wife asks me why I do it or what is my need for it. I am somewhat baffled as to the reason other than it is comforting is some strange way. I have no interest in other men so I can’t relate that part of your story. Unlike most who have commented my experience didn’t start until I was about 40 years old and was short lived at that time. It reemerged several years later and at this point it is just part of my life…don’t know if I would ever want to give it up. It is just cool although outside of my wife I have no interest in spreading this info…since it is a private thing but I am much more comfortable with it as long as it is kept private. In other words, I have no interest in going out into the community dressed as a fem although I wear women’s underwear exclusively and sleep in women’s underwear since my wife doesn’t have a problem with it. In any case, I like this discussion since of the wonderment…why do men crossdress?

  108. bepi 6 years ago

    my first significant memory of being interested in cross dressing was when i watched a carnival procession as very young child. I saw this person(probably a girl) dressed up as a very cute cat in a skin tight furry suit with a tail, whiskers ect.

    That grabbed me on a very fundamental level. The idea that you could transform yourself into a creature that you liked. I think a cat appealed as a very feminine creature even at that age.

    So instead of just admiring cats from afar and just stroking them ..you could with the aid of a costume transform yourself into one and be one.

    That experience laid the cornerstone for the rest of my life. If that experience had sparked it off or if it was always there i do not know.

    So now as i get older it isn’t cats ..its girls. Well you now know the rest.

    Just taking the logic through ..if anything cross dressing is actually an extreme form of heterosexuality.. you so much want to be that thing that you so desire that you try to become it.

    This extreme can even develop into bisexuality just because that’s what your desired form would appreciate.

    and as you get older and you want to get greater highs the idea of taking on greater changes and even pursuing ladyboys ect is all part of the rich fabric that comes with age.

    • Susan Veronica 6 years ago

      I agree with your late statements. I wish I could have someone to share with.

  109. seo.cathain 6 years ago

    Hi, live in Ireland. I did not grow up with the inclination towards womens clothes. I’ve no sisters, just 1 older brother. My parents would be conventional, particularly my mum. I have found that I got interested in lingerie around 3 years ago and cross dressing 2 years ago. I was interested in panties around 15 years ago when 17. That said I lost confidence in teens and didn’t have outlet to be me and I was always considerate and more empathetic in nature.

    Both my parents know but need me not to do it down the country area as they’re afraid people would reject them. I don’t think people mind. People just think its funny. Men don’t mind as I think they get it, but women do find it funny. I am quite accepting of myself though I did judge myself the last few years in some areas. I experimented with guys but found it got boring and now my attraction to women has increased.

    I like to wear lingirie but have found some designs fit, ie thongs/knickers and some like shorts do not. I also notice that dresses look okay if leggings accompany them. I attempt to see things from the public side too, who are unfamiliar with male cross dressing. So still would justify it when people question it. For many people the society situation just is, its not logical when you tell them. But people being more accepting just in general let you be yourself. End of the day once you’re not exposing yourself most people let you be ie once you’re not causing a nuisance. The secret is to do it well. So for instance boots may look more acceptable than heels. I’m not much of a fan of stillettos, cuban are okay but flat sole looks best in my view, just the flat shoes don’t have the surface creativity that stilletos do.

    For me, I don’t want to pass or be seen as a woman or have an alter ego name. I see myself as a male who just like most women who like to dress sometimes masculine and sometimes feminine. For me its just towards unisex breaking as far as practical the gender markers.

    There’s a preconception that all cds are gay. For the most part, evidence suggest the opposite is the case.

    The funny thing is that I can happily refrain from outdoor cding down the country now with just knickers underneath and I’m fine. But i do enjoy wearing a miniskirt in the city. That said now I know I can wear it and its fine, I wonder is it worth it and potentially put off some love interests. I wonder if I had a gf would I have the same interest to cd, given i’d then enjoy seeing the feminine. Ideally I’d like to have a woman who would be fine with it perhaps bi, and thus cool with me cding out. The pity for me is not being able to enjoy my cding down the country while my folks are about. Then again the small population gossiping and the rejection possible might not be worth it.

    At the moment I am wearing longer hair and 2 ear rings in one ear (butterfly and crystal)

  110. Karen 6 years ago

    For me it's the inner feeling of being feminine that makes me feel sexy. Al though I try to appear beautiful, it's how I feel inside what counts. Karen

  111. mary 6 years ago

    I feel very strongly that every person on this planet should be able to do whatever it is that makes them happy, however, this crossdressing business should be brought up upfront when begining a relationship with a woman. It's not fair to invest into a relationship only to find out years later that there's a crossdressing fetish. I speak from experience because I fell in love with a man I thought was all man. 8 years later and three kids I'm very dissapointed to have found out this horrible secret. I always wondered where my lingerie went.

  112. mary 6 years ago

    I'm sorry but I feel very betrayed that this was kept from me because I could have had a choice about wheter I wanted to build a relationship with this person. Truthfully I am not attracted to him like that anymore. I am devasted and feel betrayed. I really loved him, and the irony of this whole thing is that I was attracted to him because he was so "manly". He is 6ft, blue eyes, brown/blonde hair, very broad shoulders, and knows how to fix everything in sight. He is strong and very protective.

    • Helen 6 years ago

      Please, give yourself some time to think about your next step.

      Excuse my english, I am from Mexico, but I will try to tell you what I think and feel about….

      I´m pretty sure your husband didn´t tell you at the beginning because he didn´t understand himsefl very well at that time, and loving you so much, he was scared to lost you telling you something that maybe he didn´t understand very well.

      I telling you this from my experience. Few years even months ago I was very confused about all this, I am not gay, I am not atracted to men, nevertheless I feel good and confortable wearing womans clothes sometimes. WHY? WHAT Happen to me?? am I gay?? but I like, I LOVE WOMEN!! so… what is all this about!!?? … and a lot o that kind of questions were a lot of time in my head……

      One day went to a Semminary about sexuality, and was over there where I learn about this REAL posibility, being heterosexual, being attracted to women, having children, being in a relationship etc… and enyoing dressing like a woman.

      There is very little difusion about all the sexual diversity, I believe this causes a lot of confusion among people.

      I love my wife and I have two small chindren.

      One day she found some bags with women clothes, and she almost went crazy, she was thinking I had an afair and keep the clothes or something….

      I told her, let me explain to you, is a very different thing you are thinking of…. please listen to me…

      I told her: I don´t know why, but I like to wear sometimes women clothes, I am not gay, and I love you, and I love my children.

      I have tried to stop this (before to understand a little bit…), I give away some clothes I had bought…. but after a while, I found my self buying some more…

      I like colors, softness, desings.. etc…… I pesonally found men clothes very boring…

      I dont know….

      I was very lucky, my wife took that ok….. know is "our secret"…

      All I want to say is please, give you some time to think about all this before take your next step…

      Kind Regards,

      H.

      P.s. Give you a chance to undesrtand a little bit…. dont hear your old voices in your head about what and how the things have to be….. read, talk…. love….

  113. mary 6 years ago

    Now I feel that our relationship has come to an end. I understand why he wants to crossdress, even though he says he is no longer gonna do it, but I should have had a choice in the begining of our relationship. I am not attracted to men who desire to wear womans clothing. I like men who wear men clothing without that feminine side. I think it's cruel and all you crossdressers should come out up front to any potential girlfriends or wives. Now I'm in a state of confusion, I have three little children who adore their father and what choice do I have now? To start my life over after I have sacrificed so much for this person who deceived me? It should be a crime to do this to a person. I am very accepting of people, but to live a lie and lie to the person you love is not okay.

    • MrsB 6 years ago

      My husband and I have 2 children and he is a cross dresser. He doesn't go out in public. It's only at home and when the children are asleep. I knew that he did it before we got married, but I had hoped it was a phase. After all, I was raised that it's not normal and cross dressers are gay men etc. But that isn't true. Being a cross dresser doesn't make you gay. My husband says that with all of the appearances you have to keep up on a daily basis, sometimes it's fun to come home and do something that totally challenges all of that. It has taken me a looooong time to come to understand it, a lot of research to understand it and marriage counseling, but I think I'm beginning to understand it, at least from his point of view and accept it. It doesn't change his feelings towards me at all and to be honest? We have had some of the most mindblowing sex when doing roleplay involving it. I know it comes as a shock when you first find out, but if you love your husband and take the time to try to understand it, I think you will see that it will bring you closer together.

    • Desere 6 years ago

      What about the wives that were told up front that accepted it for ten years , then decide to divorce for that reason ! She had every opton to walk away from me ,but she chose not to ! Now she is using that as a grounds for divporce only because of her infidelity to me ! How can a woman that has sex 3 times a day for 4 years say that she is not being sexually satisfied ? Before you think it , don't ! The first time she saw mine, she was about to take off because of the size and the fear of being damaged ! Neither happened , and I am willing to bet that she will never enjoy that sex again ! All she was after was my money , nothing else ! Now we are not even divorced and she is sleeping around ! What does that say about her ! It isn't always the guy ! Another thing , being a crossdresser lets one know how the other side lives. Both can gain a lot from this, it isn't a sexual thing that everyone tends to believe at least not in my case ! It can be beneficial to both regardless what you say or think , I know , I have been one for a long time Darlins !

    • Spanks 6 years ago

      You are thinking completely wrong here. Its hard for one to come out with something like that. And many feel it will go away. But the truth is, it more than likely wont. He may have not have said anything cause he didn't want this to happen. For you to speak about someone like him and everything thinking he is messed up…..Your wrong. Not to mention messed up. He deserves someone who will accept him for who ever he is.

      • Sue 6 years ago

        Have you thought about going to counselling and seeing if you can work it out, if he dresses in his own company then he is not hurting anyone, how you feel now he prob feels exactly the same and possibly even worse. I have found out my partner cross dresses and has lied about meeting other men in the same community as which my partner is in and i find it hard to come to terms with it and to talk to him about it, when i first found out he said about going to see someone with me but soon went back on his word, now found out he has been continuing this and im more upset that he has lied about sleeping with other men more than the dressing. Talk to him when your children aren't around and talk about how you both feel. He is still the same person inside that you fell in love with.

  114. Diana Renee 6 years ago

    I started to crossdress when I was 13 years old.I did it out of curiosity at first.When I first tried on my mother’s panties nad pantyhose I was very turned on sexually.At the same time I became interested in girls.This made for a confusing time,I couldn’t figure out why I would crossdress and like girls all at the same time.I did know that I enjoyed putting on my mother’s things and that I wanted to do it again and again.My favorte thing to wear of my mother’s was a long sleeved purple dress and matching purple pumps.I started wearnig makeup too so I wanted to make sure that the lipstick I wore would match my mother’s dress.I searched throught her tubes of lipstick and I was very pleased when I found a purple shade of lipstick.I had fairly long hair so I didn’t have to wear a wig.I brushed my hair out to make irt longer.I loved how I looked in the mirror.I went through college not having many opportunities to crossdress but took advantage of the opportunities when they came up.When I was in my late 20’s I moved into a rental house with another guy and his girlfriend.Whenever both were out of the house I would try on her clothes and makeup.When I reached my mid 30’s I decided to take the next step and acquire my own wardrobe and makeup.I went shopping and bought women’s undergarments-bras,pantyhose,panties,body briefers.The first pair of pumps I bought were black and had a 3 inch heel.One of the first dresse I bought was a black v neck dress.At this time I had sent off for a free wig catalog from Paula Young.I ordered a blonde wig of medium length.My favorite ensemble I put together was a long sleeved full length sequined purple gown with match sequined purple pumps.When I received the shipment in the mail I immediately proceeded to transform into my female persona.I felt complete once I was fully dressed and madeup and had my wig on.I smiled when I saw myself in my full length mirror.I felt very feminine and I felt like a beauty queen.I bulit up a considerable wardrobe of women’s clothes.On days off from work it was not uncoomon for me to be dressed en femme all day.I’ve purged more than once only to buy women’s clothes again.It’s smething I can’t stop doing nor do I want to.I feel more comfortable when I’m dressed as a woman.I would like to be in a supprt group for crossdressers because I would be accepted and loved for wgo I am.Crossdressing is one facet of my personality.It does not totally define me but it is an integral and necessary part of my life.

  115. poshroger 6 years ago

    I dress infrequently but when I do I go the full trip and visit a dressing agency in London where I am given a complete makeover. I always wear a corset and long line bra to give my slightly portly figure some shape. When dressed I am totally confidant and have even gone into the pub next door to the agency with two companions, the staff obviously know we are men but take no notice. Once I met a really cute guy who was dressed as a schoolgirl, he looked sweet but was obviously reluctant to talk but we eventually struck up a conversation, turned out he was a soldier on leave from Iraq. We talked for quite a long time and I like to hope he made it back from that hell hole

    • Elaine 6 years ago

      very sweet and I am the same way

    • Sue 6 years ago

      I found out that my partner was cross-dressing and i confronted him about it, not agressively quite calmly to be honest, which shocked even me!! Anyway he said it was just out of curiousity, i love him and wanted to believe him, he has since created a new email account that he thinks i know nothing about and yes i have logged on (which i know I shouldn't have) but I have found him on a new site now, he has been giving out his mobile number to meet people and has met people because I have seen the messages on there, how do I go about chatting with him about it this time, cos I feel so scared, lonely confused and all the other emotions that go with it, I only wanted him to be honest and have no more secrets with me, what makes it harder is that he has now moved in with me and today I found out that he has said he would meet this person but cannot accommodate as he has a house guest, charming, I'm a house guest and in my own home. Some help and advice would be much appreciated, please

      • Lara Rea 6 years ago

        Sue: I just read this and it is a rather late reply, sorry. If you have not moved out of this relationship then I think this is what you need to do. Sit down right now and have a talk. Let him know that you love him but don't understand his situation. There has to be a truthful discussion about this other person that he is talking to. Don't be upset with him, just tell him your honest feeling about the situation. If his reply is not what you want, and does not fulfill your expectations, then it is time to end the relationship. Both parties need the relationship to fulfill their expectations. If he is not willing to change this other relationship then you need to tell him this doesn't work for you and leave. Some times we don't talk about our emotions enough (mainly us guys) and so the other party doesn't know where we are coming from within the relation. I hope you have resolved this quandary already. If not i hope this may give you some "food for thought". Lara Rea

  116. zari 6 years ago

    I felt ashamed of this for a long time. Then in my 30's, in therapy for other unrelated stuff, I figured I'd better tell the therapist everything. His take on this was pretty interesting. He felt it was simply a reflection of positive feelings towards my mother as a child, and no big deal. Some time later he came to work wearing a college sweatshirt. He made the comment that it was his sons and wearing it made him feel closer to his son.

    I find it interesting what I will and will not do. I have mostly my own wardrobe now. But in the past I'd borrow my wifes clothes. She and I have communal tee shirts, sweats, socks, and other unisex items. Her lingerie didn't fall into that category………My daughters and I will swap flannel shirts and fleeces. But never would I wear my daughters lingerie, even if it did fit. This paragraph should tell everyone a great deal.

    • MrsB 6 years ago

      Zari, thank you for posting this reply. As a wife of someone who cross dresses, and who is trying to learn and be supportive of it because I love my husband sooo very much, it was very helpful. 🙂 It also sounds like you have an amazing wife.

  117. Melissa 6 years ago

    Continuing on, there are some sexual practices my love does that sometimes makes me uncomfortable or questioning. I never question his love for me, I know its there and its strong. I am just unknowing of whether I may be enough for him because even though I know I satisfy him in a lot of ways…just possibly not in other ways he needs. I would go into deeper detail about what these acts are, but I do not want to offend anyone. I just need to know if there is anyone out there in a similar situation or if there is anyone who partakes in domineering or in somewhat homosexual type stimulation…but is inherently straight, could you please enlighten me? I apologize again if I have offended anyone, I just really want to understand.

    • TMK 6 years ago

      Melissa, I am not sure if you are still keeping track of the thread. Due to the vagueness in the wording of your message I am a little unclear on who is giving and receiving. Let me assure you I will not be so vague. Due to the length of my message I have had to split it into segments, sorry. I have never posted on a forum like this before, here goes….

      • TMK 6 years ago

        I suppose I would be classified as a cross dresser. I consider myself to be straight and my COGIATI result value is: -75, which means;

        “…the Combined Gender Identity And Transsexuality Inventory has classified your internal gender identity to be essentially androgynous, both male and female at the same time, or possibly neither. In some cultures in history, you would be considered to be a third sex, independent of the polarities of masculine or feminine. Your gender issues are intrinsic to your construction, and you will most likely find your happiness playing with expressing both genders as you feel like it.”

        With that said let me try and answer your question.

      • Stephanie 6 years ago

        Hi TMK I took the test three times and changed my answers each time and still came up with the same reseult as you despite my scores being different. I am a crossdresser and proud of it and I have more female than male feelings so I dont think that test is accurate and I always wear female underwear under my male clothes

      • TMK 6 years ago

        I have never been aroused by a man or pornographic images of men. I ever had any kind of sexual experience with a male, nor do I desire one.

        I cannot recall when I first became aware of my pleasure in anal stimulation. Some where around late teens early 20s I suppose. How I found this out I have no idea, as it was not something that I ever received in any form from women I was with. Likewise I cannot recall the exact time I became excited by the idea of a strap on dildo. I certainly didn’t tell girlfriends for fear of who they would tell. Nor did I tell them of my desire to wear women’s clothes and lingerie.

      • TMK 6 years ago

        Now while I can’t tell you when these desires began, I can tell you when I was first stimulated this way. September 2007, pretty sure it was the 14th. First with lubricated fingers, then with the strap on. I have been fortunate to have similar experiences twice since then, and another two times with just fingers. The first time and some of the other times I was in lingerie, the other times I was not.

        Now that we have set the background, let me say this. I don’t consider these to be “homosexual type stimulation” acts. These experiences were with attractive, kind and dominant genetic women and I enjoyed them very much. Referring to certain types of sexual stimulation being homosexual or heterosexual is, to me the same as defining a person’s sexuality by what clothes they wear. I do not feel the inclination to devote my sexual experiences to one particular form or the other. I still enjoy vaginal intercourse very much. In a perfect world I would dress as I liked, look as male or female as I liked and make love in a manner as the mood takes us with a consenting and loving woman.

      • TMK 6 years ago

        Now for the domination side of things. The lucky few times I have been involved in such situations I was in the submissive role. I have never desired a dominant role over women. I cannot accurately describe the feeling, nor should I try as I have taken way too much space already. However let me say, for those of us inclined the feeling of placing yourself in the control of another person is quite powerful. Of course there was a safety word, but I never used it.

        Now I am not saying you should do things like I have described. It’s not for everyone. I realise my brain is wired a little different from the ‘norm’. But think about it.

    • Seesaw 6 years ago

      I too am a crossdresser – married to a wonderful girl – who, like you – struggles to understand the needs and desires of a crossdresser – I too am straight, just the thought of being forced to penetrate a male rear end – turns me right off – but the thought of being penetrated by a rubber dildo is a distinct turn on – so what is the difference between the two ?
      Seesaw

  118. mary jane 6 years ago

    i started when i was 5 years old. i used to put on my aunties navy tights and then i got an erection and peed in them in the bathtub. as i got older i remeber looking at girls feet in school. i always stole my girlfriends tights when i went to dances. i now aam a grown man but i still dress all the time mostly in girly stuff. i have a mary jane shoecollection as well. i please mysef often and i usually end up smelling my own foot to climax. i also film myself in these situations. im not mental, but im a very sexual man.

  119. leannehunley 6 years ago

    I dress cause i like the sexual power it gives me over men!

  120. Sue 6 years ago

    I am totally crushed to learn my love interest for many years has been dressing up as a woman and going out to a drag club once or twice a month. He is certainly not gay, and I am having a hard time learning of this news. I cried for three days straight when he mentioned it. He keeps saying I have fun doing it, I am not trying to become a woman or change to a female lifestyle, etc., I just do this to go out and dress up as someone else and have fun. Something about this does not make sense to me. He said there is no sexual arousal when wearing the clothes, and it's more just to go someplace and perform. I am so accepting of different lifestyles, but in my love interest, the person I cherish most in the world, I do not want him doing this. I am wondering if he is even telling me the truth. I mean, is he wearing these things just to this one place once in a while, or is he watching porno at night dressed like a woman.? Who knows! I am devastated to learn of this after all this time, and I can not be sexually involved with him any longer, and I am so sad to have to even admit this, but my feelings, as far as romantic love towards him have changed

    • Shell 6 years ago

      Sue, you have no clue how restrictive being a man really is. As a woman you can cry, express every emotion, feel and act any way you want. If you suddently enjoyed watching football who would care? If you wanted to become CEO of a large corporation you would be a hero to all women. If you cut your hair to a short trendy boy cut, would you be branded a crossdresser? You can cross into aka: a man's world and stamp all over it. Be a doctor or race car driver and ur a strong independent woman. But if your guy wears a dress and steps into aka: a woman's world he's a sick pup. What if he started demanding what you wear or how you look. Do clothes really make you or your man or anyone? NO.

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
      Vanessa Law 6 years ago

      Sue, I am so sorry to hear love. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you now. You're likely feeling angry, betrayed, sad and frustrated. I will hold you and your love in my prayers and thoughts.

      I know from first hand experience how difficult it is to tell someone about such a secret. Many crossdressers keep it from those they love because they fear losing them. Counter intuitively, they love the person so much they guard their secret.

      Unfortunately there are many myths about crossdressers – the few knee deep in sex and scandal seem to consume headlines. Yet most crossdressers are heterosexual men who spend a day or two a month escaping from their masculine world, and are faithful to those they love.

      As hard as it is, I hope that you are your love are able to talk about this – it may not change the way you feel about the relationship, but open and honest sharing will help heal the emotion wounds.

      Best of luck Sue.

      • Sue 6 years ago

        It is very nice of you to comfort every one out here. Believe me, I have nothing against anyone doing this at all, and I know all different kinds of people. For for my guy, and a person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, it's not something I will accept or want in my life, which has been hard enough already. I can not compete with the thrill he gets from doing this, and I don't want to. I wish him happiness, but I have to move on from this. I am so sad that nobody would even believe how sad I am. My whole world crashed down, and I didn't deserve it at all.

      • Profile photo of Vanessa Law
        Vanessa Law 6 years ago

        I understand Sue, marriage is a big decision and you need to feel as though this is someone you can be happy with for the rest of your life.

        I wish you all the best in working through this together, and making the decision that's right for you.

        Hugs,
        Vanessa

  121. Paul(a) 6 years ago

    Although I have no hope of "passing" I find great releave in my periods of cross dressing. Although my cross dressing originated at least in part from sexual needs, and the urge to dress is stronger during periods of sexual frustration, I suspect that great part of this the relieve and urge to dress comes from being a totally different person. By presenting as the other gender we are in effect taking a holiday away from ourselves, our worries, our sources of stress. I think this may be why after a day out dressed I am more relaxed, calmer and generaly a nicer person. Or is it just that I have been expressing a part of my personality that is normally repressed? not sure this is helping!

  122. russell austin 6 years ago

    I’ve been cross dressing for 20+ years I feel more motivated, happier,all around better about my self. Not to mention the pants and shirts fit better. As do the panties, some of them , the sexy panties not so much

  123. jillwadden 6 years ago

    When I was a young boy I used to look in a mirror and not see anything particularly appealing, even though I was told plenty of times that I was good looking. One day,out of curiosity I dressed in my Mom's clothes and looked in the mirror and there was a pretty young girl looking back at me. I loved it!! I was a very pretty girl rather than the "ordinary" boy I had always seen. It's true to this day.I crossdress because I love how I look when dressed much more than when I'm not.

  124. satinpansysissy 6 years ago

    To be on par with women,in fact as I long I crossdress I don't remember when I always fely better about myself and mind.First I did not think about sexuality but at puberty I was feeling different.The touch of silk,satin,lacesnwearing seamed stockings,fine lingerie and all feminine underwears made me vibrate and wet.Today the pleasure is different after my coming out and live a normal life like anyone in the society

  125. Jane christine 6 years ago

    Crossdressing is addictive,once you start it is very hard to stop I(f you want to) I have crossdressed all my life,starting when my mum went with my dad for my fathers job and I lived with my grand parents , I started wearing my mothers clothes and make up and it felt so special, i moved on to wearing my sisters clothes then a girl friend use to dress me up in her clothes and put make up on me I loved this, my wife let me wear her clothes and I used to do chores round the house for her I was her little maid,she loved this as it took the work load off her, I started going out in womans clothes to bar, clubs, and restraurants and it was good to meet other people and see there reactions ,I am in construction so non of my work mates know that I dress in womans clothes and most of them would laugh at me if they found out, if you do cross dress good luck and enjoy as your not harming any one, but be honest with your wife or girlfriend,
    I will never stop cross dressing as i just love being a total woman and trying to pass as one, I find it so exciting when I am dressed and i love the risk when I go out(getting found out by friends and work mates ) so to att just enjoy and good luck……

  126. Janette St Clare 6 years ago

    Vanessa:

    This is the first time I've read about you and so I'm fascinated at reading about you. I began cross-dressing very early teens wearing my mothers clothes when the opportunity arose and sporadically expressed my feminine side as I grew up. Now, on my days off I cross-dress full-tome and enjoy being Janette. My feminine side is expressed, I feel more human I guess because work can be stressfull, and frankly, woman have life figured out and I prefer to be one of the woman! Thanks,

    Janette

  127. Jenae 6 years ago

    The honesty is the most provokative and compelling – ever. I love cross dressers! xoxox GG

  128. Rusty 6 years ago

    I did not crossdress till I was in my late 30s. But at the age of 13, I discovered the joy of feeling stockings ad silky nylon against my thighs and genitals. It has always been a sexual thing, but I resort to it most when I am emotionally stressed/lonely. Don't know why, but as true now as in my teens. Incidently, I have ever bee the least bit interested in intimacy with men.

  129. EmmaRose 6 years ago

    The first time I remember crossdressing was when I was about 3 or 4 years of age. My grandmother was doing the laundry when I fell down the stairs and hurt myself. Quit badly I think as there was a great deal of pain. The impact was so severe that I wet myself. My ever caring grandmother immediately picked me up and held me. Then, had wet myself, she ran a tub and put me in to soak. Drying me off was when I think she realized that all of my underwear was in the wash. She didn't skip a beat, but took me to the bedroom I shared with my one year older sister, borrowed a pair of her nylon panties. Next came a little slip and dress and a pair of anklets and popped me on the bed with a blanket to keep warm. Grandma told mom I looked just too cute to change back. Mom laughed, took a look at me sleeping and that night I slept in a silky, nylon nightgown. One day, yeas later while in K-mart grabbing groceries and some t-shirts and socks, I grabbed a pair of size seven womens nylon briefs and a pair of pantyhose. Told the checkout girl I had the 'honey-do' list to fill.

  130. EmmaRose 6 years ago

    (Cont.) My wife has known of my interest since we got married (32 years ago) and never said a word. Once when an old groin injury flaired up, she handed me a pair of panties and said they should give me support. Since then, if I'm to be on my feet for any length of time, I wear panties under my male underwear. Commentng on how soft her Shadowline and Vanity Fair nightgowns were and holding her close one night caused her to cuddle real close. he next time we were shopping for clothing, she placed two nightgowns, matching robes & panties in the basket. She told me in the car that she saw how uncomfortable my bathrobe was, felt I deserved something softer. I sleep in Shadowline or Vanity Fair now, my wife cuddles close and I still wear panties. I've worn bras and love the feeling of support though I only wear them out with a heavy shirt and my jean jackets on. My daughter is quite supportive. Seems she knew all along. I'm not gay, or bi (that I know of), women turn me on completely. I just love the feel of the fabric and knowing that when I' dressed, I don't have to 'compete' in the male world.

  131. EmmaRose 6 years ago

    Pardon my previous post's misspelling. My computer's old and skips letters. I'm really not ignorant or uneducated.

    Thanks for this site.

  132. avalana 6 years ago

    i do love wearing skirts,and dresses as the weather permits, but here in n.e mn.the weather says jeans and a jacket.whos to say what i will wear under them. it will be warm though

  133. Jay Russell 6 years ago

    Reading these responses gives me tremendous encouragement and relief. Thank you all. When I c-dress, I simply feel much more comfortable and at peace with myself. It is as if something within me is fulfilled. I do not have the physique to ever pass as a woman in public, but when I am by myself I dress to please myself and I am happy. It would be wonderful to find someone with whom I can share this. I do not know if I would truly like to be a natural woman, but I have always wished for it – or at least to know what it would be like.

    • EmmaRose 6 years ago

      I have to agree. Being able to talk to other CDers without apprehension or shame OR any ulterior motives (i.e. 'hooking up') would be quite refreshing. I tend to see this site as a chance to interact, safely, with others who feel the same as I do. What's to be ashamed of? It will be nice if/when the day comes when we can ALL dress and be who we are. Another reason to reject restrictive theocracies.

  134. EmmaRose 6 years ago

    I remember my youngest daughter looking at me one day and saying, "Dad, you really ARE part male and part female. You've got both 'X' and 'Y' chromosomes." After a good laugh, and my wife chuckling and shaking her head at both my neuroscience major university student and myself, we had a nice long discussion about fabric and fashion. I might add, I am a very fit 60 year old (5'10", 170 lb.), have all of my naturally dark hair, all of my teeth, a wicked sense of humor and a ready laugh. A retired (22 year) Marine Corps combat veteran and retired deputy sheriff career path has not made me bitter about life. Rather I find that EmmaRose a welcome relief.

  135. Eddie Pruna 6 years ago

    I am 39 years old and I cross-dress because I have 2 mothers (my Mom turned lesbian when I was 10) and I have 5 sisters. At birth, I was born without testicles and a hormonal inbalance which means that I have more estrogen and testeterone. My measurements are a 38" hips, 26" waist, 38D natural breast and a 2" penis. I never had a male role model in my life so, my entire life had been feminine. I never ever wore men's clothes at all. I will feel uncomfortable. I have learn (for the most part) to be happy with my "condition" and I don't if people don't like me.

  136. Eddie Pruna 6 years ago

    I am 39 years old and I was born without testicles so which means that I have a very high level of estrogen and almost non-existent levels of testoterone. So which means that my body measurements is 38" hips, 26" waist, 38D breast and 2" penis. My parents divorced when I was 10 and my Mom had turned lesbian. Plus the fact that I have 5 sisters turned me feminine. I have never ever wore any men's clothes in entire life maybe except when my dad was around but I don't remember. If people don't like me for whatever reason then I don't care.

  137. Guest 6 years ago

    I have been crossdressing since I was 4 or 5, I'm 51 now. I have always liked girdles, all-in-ones the most. The feeling of compression and silky smooth garments under my clothing has always turned me on. I have underdressed in public several times, mostly wearing firm control panties under my work clothes. As I am 6'4", 260+ build like a linebacker there is NO WAY I could ever pass as female. I have no desire to have any surgery as it would be wasted as to my size. My fantasy is to be about 5'4", young 20's and FEMALE. My wife, of 25+ years, knows about my desires and does NOT approve so I have to dress in secret. I envy guys that can pass and have understanding partners.

  138. garima 6 years ago

    is there any crossdresser from delhi india
    i would love to meet
    share my feelings
    and crossdress with him
    even females are welcome to crossdress me and make me feel there slut

  139. KRISTIAN BRANDRETH 6 years ago

    In Jr High School in Washington I knew I was different from the other guys. In the locker room I was the smallest and had no pubic hair until I was a sr in high school.

    In high school I started cross dressing at home and after graduation I made the full transition to female cross dresser. Now I work in Las vegas and am a successful executive at Aria Casino & Hotel, and even though I have not fully completed sexual reassignment surgery yet I am accepted at work and know someday I will get the surgery I desire and need to fill complete.

    The biggest problem right now is relationships, it impossible to have a real relationship when you are still transitioning to a female.

    Kristian Brandreth
    kbrandreth@arialasvegas.com

  140. CDinCA 6 years ago

    For me it's simple. I'm not happy with myself, with the man I have become. I don't hate myself or anything extreme. I'm just disappointed with where I wound up after a lifetime of choices that made sense at the time. So, in private and mostly at night with nice women's sleepwear and lingerie, I crossdress in order to be, for a short time, someone are far away from me as possible.

    It's rather to be playing co-op on XBox live and my friends have no idea what I am wearing. 🙂

    And, yeah, I also like the feel of silks and soft fabrics against my skin. 😉

  141. nevadaCD 6 years ago

    The earliest memories I have as a kid are of me crossdressing behind closed doors. I knew it was wrong even though no one told me it was wrong. I don't know how long I've been crossdressing to be completely honest. I've almost been caught on several occasions dressing in my sister's clothes, but to this day the only family member that knows is my younger, more accepting sister. My older sister wouldn't understand and neither would my parents. My dressing was just underwear and bras through my teen years until i moved out and discovered high heels. A girl I dated for three years in highschool came out to me as a lesbian, and that helped me come to grips with my dressing. I confided in my next girlfriend early on and she really helped me come to understand myself. She was extremely accepting and even bought me heels and clothes, plus she took me out in public for the first time. It wasn't anything spectacular, just an informal dinner in a town where nobody knew us. Everybody we who saw me knew… I wasn't passable at all, but i felt amazing. That girl and I have broken up since, but I have a few chick friends that have taught me enough that I've gone out and been totally undetected 🙂 I absolutely love being a guy and being able to roll out of bed, take a five minute shower, and be to work without looking like a train wreck, but when I have the free time, I love to look my best 😉 I personally would never consider getting any profession work done, I can pass as I am with makeup, a wig, and medical tape xD I would like to meet another girl that would be accepting of me in bed like my last girlfriend 😉

    • Carrietease 6 years ago

      What a fabulous post! It sounds, so much like me.

      Here's the thing. So, what happens when you're 5 years old and inventive and suddently, you see something from which to make a skirt! It's made, then hidden well in the closet so Mom won't find it. That's where the feeling of a skirt begins….

  142. Joan Brooks 6 years ago

    I would like to share with you all, and our special spouses both accepting and lovingly helping us through our journey. And our special spouses that have many reservations, due to the confusion of recent discoveries and at presant a lack of understanding in dealing with the softer side of the ones they love.

    I started crossdressing at about 5 or 6 years of age. I am the youngest of 2 sons. I was something of a loner, spending most of my time reading and studying, I have been blessed with a high I Q and a great desire to learn everything I can and to understand life on a whole. Being left to myself often since my mom and dad both worked, I explored the home and what I might find to learn from. After reading all the books in dads library, I looked into moms dresser. Way back then mom always wore dresses every day and hose and heels. The pretty assortment of colors and the nylon and silk panties and slips instantly caught and held my undivided attention, and I had to try them on. Thus I honestly came alive inside. Being very careful to always refold everything and put it back in the original place I found it, mom and dad never knew. Or if mom knew, she never said anything.

    Joan Brooks

  143. Joan Brooks 6 years ago

    (part 2) A little later I had my appendix removed and the doctor told my parents I could go home early if mom would see that I kept quiet and take steps so my stitches would not break loose. Mom got two of her tight fitting elastic girdles out for me to wear. when the one came off to be laundered, she made sure I had the other one on. This was needed for a period of two weeks. As a result, I was hooked. When I got back on my feet my mom then took sick and I offered to keep the house in order since mom could not. Dad was pleased at the offer and went along with the idea.

    Mom never minded if I wore some of her panties if all of mine were in the laundry, and things progressed to my underdressing while doing the housework for mom.

    Joan Brooks

  144. Joan Brooks 6 years ago

    (part 3) I was fortunate to have a high I Q and went to college to be an Arch / Engineer, graduating 6th in the class. My life has been filled with high pressure schedules and a full load on my mind. I crossdress as a pressure release sorce from my man world. Yes I have made a successful living but have endured a lifetime of pressure and severe headachs. To me crossdressing is my avenue to contact my softer more pleasant natured side of me. I often refer to it as my woman within. The Chinese culture refers to this as the Ying and Yang. It is also the pressure release to help me become more livable and understanding. It is not always a sexual thing to crossdress, as much as it is for me to return and release my true deep inner feelings. The small circle of very selective friends and family that are let in to know the softer side of me is all adults and the children don't need to know until they mature enough to handle the knowledge.

    Joan Brooks

  145. Joan Brooks 6 years ago

    (part 5) I have learned this in my life of now being 69. I do fully dress and have not bothered going out in public at this time. I dress properly and tastefully for a mature woman of my age with one exception. I have a favorite long or shoulder length wig that is wavey and has a little bit younger look to it, but I look good in it.

    The most important thing you can do for your spouse or girl friend is to treat them the way you want to be treated. be truthful with them at all times. And even if you are not crossdressed, make it a daily habbit to be tender and gentle with them. It is just another way to let them feel the softer side of you, seen or unseen. My wife knows and My full wardrobe hangs in the closet for anyone to see. She is not tweeked by me wearing dresses or skirts and blouses and I am not upset when she wears jeans or pants. We are both sensibly mature enough to handle each others individuality and personal prefferences. It is so much more enjoyable to take our time to love each other rather than argue.

    Hugs and help if any one wishes fo ask,
    Joan Brooks

  146. Pantyhose Queen 6 years ago

    My sister began crossdresing me at age 6, she said she wanted a little sister not a boy. Pantyhose, girdles, skirts, heels, makeup, all of it – some of hers, some she borrowed from our Mothers dresser drawer. I was made to behave and live as her sister many days in a row often, since our parents worked a lot and they just thought we were having fun. And, it was in some ways. It continued after she lost interest, but I was snakeing it by then. I was 13, and very dressed on a Saturday when my sisters 17 yr old boyfriend caught me – he dropped by and no one was home but me. He laughed, touched me, told me that I was meant to be a girl, and he said he wanted to make me do things girls do – in effect he told me “I am making you into yuor sister.” He sat on my sisters bed and masturbated as he made me model for him, dress and undress, walk around and sway, lift my skirt – I hated it but he said he would tell everyone unless I complied. For 2 years, on and off, he got more daring, orgasmining on my pantyhosed ass and legs, making me touch him until he finished on my nylons, etc. Once in a great while he would touch between my pantyhosed legs but told me “girls are supposed to make their bf’s cum – that’s your ‘sex” – and he would stop touching me. I wanted to have him touch me more so badly, but was so confused- i liked girls yet here I was, looking and acting like one!

  147. Darren 6 years ago

    Hi Kitty – May I ask you for some advice please? When I get a girlfriend, how should I tell her that I love to mastubate while wearing sexy lingerie evrey night when I go to bed? Thank you.

    • Dorianne 5 years ago

      IF you get a girlfriend…tell her you’re a crossdresser. If she can live with that or is even excited by it then you won’t have to masturbate anymore.

  148. Josephineshaffer 6 years ago

    I’m a man that really wants to dresses up as women i do that a lot.

  149. Josephineshaffer 6 years ago

    Why like dressing up in women’s clothes because i want be a female since i was 10 yeatrs old i like putting on dresses to show i want to be a girl not a boy i still got hopes that someday i can realy be a female full time female too i don’t mind going shopping for new fashion clothes, that includes panties, bras, shoes i now a wedding dress, and maternity clothes that is how much i want to be a lady i enjoy it too.

  150. TexasWithLove 6 years ago

    You’re too awesome Joan. Thanks much for your strength. It carries on.

  151. ron 5 years ago

    My girlfriend excepts my lifestyle, and loves me for who I am. My problem is now we have a six year old son,and Im afraid to let him knowthat daddy loves to where womens clothes, for fear of him hating me, and telling everyone else. What should I do as he gets older?

    • Doriannne 5 years ago

      That depends. Who is it that you want to protect? Him or you? If it’s him then never let him know. If it’s yourself then let him see you enfemme and explain it to him in terms that his age can understand. But don’t ask him to keep your secret. That kind of parental subterfuge is what builds serial killers. Let him know it’s OK to talk about and let the chips fall where they may. It is what it is and no one else can tell you what to do. Who knows, he may wish he were a little girl himself. I know I did.

  152. Comfortable Now 5 years ago

    I’m not exactly sure when it started, but I guess I’ve always liked the feeling of “girl’s” clothes on me. Last Halloween, I completely crossdressed as a school girl with my girlfriend and I really liked it. I liked how I looked in the pictures we took. She made me feel really good about it, too. She told me that she was bisexual, so I guess we were meant for each other! (haha, me a man who likes to dress as a girl and her, a girl who wants both a man and a girl.)

    I went to an anime convention and crossdressed in public because nobody will judge you at those things, haha! My girlfriend stayed by me all night and I passed as a girl so well that people were…checking me out. When they realized I was a guy (my voice) they quickly turned away. One person even said “Oh my God, that’s a guy.” This made me feel good about myself for some reason.

    I Love when my girlfriend treats me like a girl, for some reason. It feels good. It feels different.

    During intimate moments, I’m 100% comfortable with being a “dominant” man and whatnot, but I also like playing a girl.

    I couldn’t be more grateful for my girlfriend. She Loves me even though I like being a girl from time to time. Honestly, I feel that it is purely sexual for me. I am the least bit homosexual, but I have always been comfortable with expressing a “feminine” side (straightening my hair, eyeliner, etc.) At that convention, I even went so far as to shave my legs from my knees up. I like it alot and more importantly, so does my girlfriend! : ]

    In the past few days, I have been feeling really awkward about the whole crossdressing desire, but then I found this and it made me happy to know that, not only do other people do it, but other people are comfortable with talking about it.

  153. maninfl 5 years ago

    When women go back to their closet I will go back to mine.

  154. Dorianne 5 years ago

    I too have been crossdressing since before I know what sex was. i can distinctly remember being jealous of the little girls in my neighborhood with their mary janes and ribbons in their hair. That’s the way it was in the early 60’s. It was also something that even a little child knew to never talk about. men were men and girls were girls. Of course because of this, I lived a false life as a man. Wife children divorce new wife divorce…And no one has ever known the truth. Now the kids are grown and I have grandchildren. And they can never know the truth. If I were to transition, as I should’ve years ago it would kill my family. So I will go to my grave with my secret. But as I write this I am completely crossdressed and quite happy.

  155. Dorianne 5 years ago

    What do you mean by “bad things” in our lives? Maybe you want to rethink how you feel about him in a dress. I’m not judging, I’m a genetic male and I’m wearing a skirt right now myself. But there is no one else in my life being affected by it. I know from personal experience about the “playing around” my second wife knew about my secret. But although she approved and was happy to “play around” on the outside, she really resented my enfemme personality. and it came out in the end believe me. Think deep thoughts honey, you need to make sure.

  156. FATHERTIME 5 years ago

    When I was in Uni (in California) in one Psych class, that question came up. Our Professor (A Psychiatrist) believed that since your gender is in your head thanks to that tiny bit on your hypothalmus and your sex is between your legs, that if that bit is even slightly smaller than the normal male then you would be more tempted ‘hormonally’ to engage in activities that would at least attempt to match the exterior with the requirements of the interior (that hypothalmus again). How true it is? I’m no Doctor so I don’t know. But you cross dress before you realize what sex is, it’s not sexual. However, a word to the religious Right. If it’s OK for a woman to wear trousers, it’s OK for a man to wear a skirt or dress. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander and vice versa.

  157. deanhyams@aol.com 5 years ago

    your all just a bunch of gays that need to stop diverting the ultimate conclusion and come out and face the fact that you are GAY….and want to shag men instead of your wives/girlfriends. C/d’s are gay, straightand bi, but what Ive seen on here you all want to shag other men, your using cd to almost supress it as the next best thing but not facing up to the fact your GAY…..I know its difficult, I know you love your wives but this is a deep rooted state of sexual comprehension, your in denial……..!!

    • Vanessa Law 5 years ago

      Hon, I must admit I’m always fascinated by comments such as yours. I think for many coming out as gay would be easier, if that were the truth, but gender identity is a whole different ball of wax, and contains complexities that aren’t necessarily easy to comprehend.

  158. deanhyams@aol.com 5 years ago

    your all just a bunch of gays that need to stop diverting the ultimate conclusion and come out and face the fact that you are GAY….and want to shag men instead of your wives/girlfriends. C/d’s are gay, straightand bi, but what Ive seen on here you all want to shag other men, your using cd to almost supress it as the next best thing but not facing up to the fact your GAY…..I know its difficult, I know you love your wives but this is a deep rooted state of sexual comprehension, your in denial……..!!

    • Vanessa Law 5 years ago

      Hon, I must admit I’m always fascinated by comments such as yours. I think for many coming out as gay would be easier, if that were the truth, but gender identity is a whole different ball of wax, and contains complexities that aren’t necessarily easy to comprehend.

  159. Msgwen55 5 years ago

    Since the age of 5 I’ve had the same need, if you will, to dress in female atire. However, while in University some researchers believe that, for the most part, it’s due to a lack of male hormones during that important stage of pregnancy. To some, the trans area isn’t cut and dried, black or white but one very long gray continuum from the occassional cross dresser to the post op trans-person. In my experience, I tend to agree having spent a great number of hours with some of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met.

    But it doesn’t make any difference which side the coin lands, I will continue to indulge myself when ever and where ever I feel the need. Normally, the only male attire I wear while going out, weather depending, is a light jacket. Other than that, skin out it’s female.

    Stand up for your rights.

    GWEN

  160. cherll 5 years ago

    IT is so much fun to dress as a women thats why i do it i love the escape of it all women are so beautifull and some men want to experience that for themselfs .I love to spend hours transforming into cherll it is so cool to compare my male side with my female side it is so awsome i have taken pics of me in the same pic with me one as cherll and one as don i love it i dont look anything like the other person on the pic . now i must admit i would prefer to be cherll more that don it is so nice to be daintie and soft and femm and the color selection of cloths is so far above what men have to wear being able to mix and match different cloths is so much fun i just find it so exciting and so much fun i love it

  161. cherll 5 years ago

    IT is so much fun to dress as a women thats why i do it i love the escape of it all women are so beautifull and some men want to experience that for themselfs .I love to spend hours transforming into cherll it is so cool to compare my male side with my female side it is so awsome i have taken pics of me in the same pic with me one as cherll and one as don i love it i dont look anything like the other person on the pic . now i must admit i would prefer to be cherll more that don it is so nice to be daintie and soft and femm and the color selection of cloths is so far above what men have to wear being able to mix and match different cloths is so much fun i just find it so exciting and so much fun i love it

  162. Tanya 5 years ago

    Why do I crossdress?

    Well, to start, I really don’t like the term ‘crossdressing’. The word ignores the fact that I do not feel I am crossing anything when I slip on sheer panties and my favorite Bluenote jeans, fasten up my bra and slide into a lovely long-sleeved pink t-shirt. I know others might see this otherwise, but for me there is a deep sense of coming home in these actions. A sense that a very important part of me – one far too infrequently acknowledged – is being allowed expression.

    I dress this way, then, because it gives physical voice to who I am.

  163. Wish I Knew 5 years ago

    I wish I knew. To me though it’s very sexual. I like the idea of switching up the traditional roles with a woman. Being the hunted instead of the hunter, the conquered instead of the conquerer. I feel different in sexy lingerie with less urgency if that makes any sense. More sensuality.

  164. Iceman66613 5 years ago

    I’m 19 years old guy and I have the occasional time of wearing women’s clothing. I’m very shy about, mostly around the house. I do it because I do very girly things, such as sewing, baking, etc. and sometimes it’s kinda fun to wear the “proper” attire. Its not at all sexual like a lot of people think it would be. It’s just the idea of being taboo and wearing anothers clothing. Everyone wants to go into the other bathroom, I just take it a step further.

    Like I said I’m very shy about this, so I don’t like the idea of going to a store to buy things. So often times I make skirts and dresses. Not going to lie, it really improved my sewing capabilities.

    I’m in a very serious relationship with a girl in college. She doesn’t know and I don’t know if I ever will tell her, maybe one day, when I’m confident she won’t care, and maybe want to take it places 😉 haha. I think that’s I’m posting this. To get something off my chest, and say thank you to the brave ones that are out there.

  165. Ghandour_73 5 years ago

    I am ill and I have  xxy and I know the percentage of femininity in my body is strong and I know what I do and I like to wear women’s clothes and all that go to the PSN BuyXiae go to the women’s section

  166. Mohamad_-1973 5 years ago

    I am ill and I have xxy and I know the percentage of femininity in my body is strong and I know what I do and I like to wear women’s clothes and all that go to the PSN BuyXiae go to the women’s section

  167. heartache 5 years ago

    I recently learned my fiance is a cd’er and it’s been hard…any advice? I see you post on her often. I am 26, he is 27…we were each others first everything 10years ago. I feel betrayed and hurt because even after I tried to come to a happy median he kept taking a mile and going behind my back even more.

  168. Rkrall808 5 years ago

    I have been with my husband for twenty years and just found out he likes to wear women’s lingerie. I feel lied to. He was wearing my clothes. I knew someone was. I thought he was cheating on me. I’m relieved he’s not. Although I still feel betrayed. He knows I’m very liberal. Now that I know I want to understand it. I don’t care if he wears women’s clothes, just not mine. He will need to buy his own. He also said he would like to be a lesbian. He thinks it would be cool. That I’m NOT ok with. I love everything about a man. The way they look, smell, and taste. Females do not give me any kind of sexual stimuli. Sooo I’m really confused. I don’t know who to talk to. I NEED to talk to someone. I can’t talk to any of my family or friends. He made me swear not to say anything to anyone.

  169. Davids11548 5 years ago

    Lets face some reality here my friends.
    1. womens clothing, even though they may be of the same basic material, are designed softer with better tailoring.
    2.larger assortment of colors and fabrics,styles etc.
    3.Many under garments serve functionaly to support the legs, back ,and other areas much better than the bulky items designed for men.
    4. even heels offer benifits for aching feet and hips,and lower back, as most shoes nowadays have no arch supports. unless you can afford expensive items.
    5. If you ladies have any doubts, get yourself a good fitting outfit of mens clothing from the skin out,and work hard out in the yard for 8 hours on a hot day, and I guarantee that by the end of the day, You will never try it again. The lack of air flow,heavy material and seams, off the shelf tailoring,{sewing} , and sweat retention, will have you so chaffed that you will begin to understand why some of us actually prefer ladies garments. I use ladies wear for comfort and health reasons, and wish the taboo would go away so that we all could bennifit from these rescources at all times, not just in private. Have a nice day.

  170. Delireoius 5 years ago

    all boys start to crossdress at very young age, it means there are still some very deep memories of being women in the previous life.

  171. Christina Lynn 5 years ago

    As a crossdresser of 25 years, I started when I was just 6 years old, I have done a lot of personal research over the years.  I have come to the conclusion that in an overall “general scheme” it could be considered as what is Scientifically known as “Gender Identity Disphoria” which IS a know psychologial disorder.  This ‘disorder’, like you have pointed out, does have hundreds of facets of being.  It encompasses everything from “..but the clothes just fit better”, “I feel like I was born in the wrong body”, “..the clothes turn me on and I wear them for self pleasure”, all the way to “If I do not become the other sex, I will kill myself.”

    In my 25 years of crossdressing, I mostly fall into the first two categories that I mentioned. “The clothes fit better”, and “I feel like I was born in the wrong body”.  Even though I have been doing this for 25 years, and I am now 31 years old, I still do not believe that I even remotely could “pass” in public even if I was surrounded by 50 other T-Girls, or crossdressers. I still need a lot of help, but then again, probably not having the right products is a hendrance.

    @6ba4c65bf1003532bf8b9c15c9edb190:disqus : I commend your heart and REALLY wish there were more people like you in the world.  My wife, who I have been with for a total of 7 years, found out about my ‘dressing’ within the first week of us dating, and she is Totally comfortable about it.  It gives a new outlook on going out shopping (which we all girls love to do), as well, as you being so open to it you can help your significant other pick out items that would make “her” look better and help them along the course.

    A lot of the younger generation now are more offended by people crossdressing, or wishing to change what they were born with, but one question that I have to the Younger generations is: You are trying to figure out WHO you are, and where you belong in the grand scheme of life… We are too.  Why judge us (the T-girls, and crossdressers) and make fun of us when we are doing the same thing you are?? If you see us wearing something nice, even though you might not agree with what we are doing, at least compliment us on our outfit choice!

    Thank you for listening
    “Christina Lynn”

  172. Tigggy 5 years ago

    I too have just recently found out that my husband likes to crossdress. In the 11 years we were married he says he hid it becasue he said it was something of his past. Recently I filed for divorce/seperation for other reasons and now he tells me he likes wearing womens clothes, but has insisted that he will not introduce our son to it, and will dress like a man when we go out. I am very confused about the whole thing. What if our friends find out? They will think I’m bisexual when I love everything about a man. I have been doing research and all I can find is that men “just like it” but not all of them go full blown. Mine wants to get both ears pierced, now how is that going to look Monday morning at work?? We work at the same place, I don’t want to deal with it there at all. If he would agree to do it when I’m not home, and keep his vows that I am the ONLY one he has sex with, then I might be able to accept it, but I just can not walk down the street holding his hand while he is dressed like me!!!

    • Stacy Love 5 years ago

      There are as many reasons why men crossdress as there are men who DO crossdress. We all have our inate reasons why we do. I’ve been crossdressing for 45 years and therefore I believe I have some authority on the subject. I found out about my desires to dress in women’s clothes accidently. I was curious. I was also only 8. My mother’s silk stockings were a fasincation to me and one day I acted on that fascination and tried them on and WOW!, what an awesome sensation! But it was a sexual thing. It turned me on and that is when I started masturbating feverishly because of the ‘thrill’ it provided. Eventually I added more articles of clothing….panties, bras, skirts etc but the sexual part of it waned and soon it was the sheer delight of wearing something silky, satiny, lacy. I then realized that wearing my tough demin jeans and so called ‘cotton’ Ts (they were like cardboard!) was lame. I couldn’t wait to get home to put on my femme wardrobe because of the sexiness I felt when I was dressed femme. My normal ‘macho’ clothing became drab. As I dressed more and more, I started applying makeup and purchasing wigs to complete the transformation and to feel more like a woman. I actually evny women because they get to wear such sexy outfits that are not applicable to men because of this ‘macho-ness’ we have to put forward. Many of my past g/fs and my present wife know of this. I have never held anything back going into a relationship because I never wanted my ‘secret’ to be found out accidently and cause hardships in my relationships. I was always out front with it. MOST accepted it. Some didn’t want to see me femme, prefering to have me just keep it to myself. Others shared in it and aided me when we went out shopping. And then again a few thought I was a real pervert. All those years long ago I thought I was all alone, that I actually was some kind of ‘pervert’ but with the advent of the Internet and sites like this, I found out I’m truly not alone in my desires any more. I had NO idea so many men actually indulge in crossdressing! I was so releived that I truly wasn’t ‘alone’! Ladies, you’d be surprised just how many men actually DO crossdress, even on rare occasions. A regular crossdresser DOES deep down inside wish he can ‘pass as a woman’ but really has no desire to actually BE a woman but there are exceptions, as there are in other ways of life. But think of this…..when you are all dolled up for a night on the town, makeup applied so perfectly, sexy undergarments under a gorgeous dress, stockings, garters and adorable high heels, how do you feel inside? SEXY!!! And me? I put on the ole monkey suit, the same one I’ve had in my closet for years, the one that chafes at my crotch and the tie that makes me feel like I’m being hanged and those boring, boring dress shoes. UNSEXY! Women’s clothes are to DIE FOR! Small wonder that I can’t wait to get home, kick off my yucky construction boots and damn jeans and jump into some silk stockings, high heels and a sexy skirt! 🙂

      My two cents……..Stacy Love <3 🙂

      • Profile photo of Vanessa Law Author
        Vanessa Law 5 years ago

        Thanks for sharing Stacy – it’s important to realize that crossdressers all have different reasons, and to respect each person for who they are. *hugs*

      • Stacy Love 5 years ago

        True. But ‘we’ need the same respect we afford others. That being said, without ‘forcing’ our desires on others. It’s all about mutual respect. 🙂

  173. Tigggy 5 years ago

    Ok can someone answer this for both me and Rkrall808 since we are being blindsided with this from our husbands. Mine doesn’t really know just what he wants. Like I said in an earlier posting I don’t want to walk down the street holding his hand when he looks like me. I want the world to know that I love this man, as a man and he loves me as a woman. So can it just be a thing that stays in the house as a relaxation as some of you state?? Now some I have read love to be women all the time, but if it is a relaxing technique does it mean that you have to fully dress like a woman and go outside?? For what purpose does that serve?? We have not started marriage counseling yet, he hit me with this and my conseritiveness struck really hard. If I choose to accept him but not want to help him dress like a woman, or want sex with out the girly clothes (really it all comes off anyway) then would that be enough of an acceptance for him?? You may ask what caused me to file for divorce/seperation, that is because since our son was born nearly 5 years ago, he has not physically shown any interest in me, I accused him of cheating though he states he has been honest and true to his vows to me. He basically ignored me and when I lost a lot of weight to get his attention, I didn’t know that it worked. Now he sees his wrong doings and wants to reconcile, but this was thrown in my face and I’m having a very hard time accepting it. I’m starting to understand it, but I’m still leary about getting both ears pierced.

    • Apple 5 years ago

      I’ve read a couple of the comments and I feel sorry for the women who feel betrayed by their husbands, especially the ones that have been married for years and have just found out. Ive been married almost four years and I’ve known since I met my husband that he likes to cross dress. He dosnt do it all of the time and at first I thought it was about me and he was going to turn gay. But talking to my hubby and asking him lots of questions has reassured me that it’s not like that at all. We keep it behind closed doors and I try and be supportive as much as possible but the relationship is fifty/ fifty. If I feel uncomfortable or not in to it at times he won’t out of respect for me. Ive even found it fun. We have same taste in shoes and wigs, our joke is that I’m the one that can wear them out and now I have an awesome collection of shoes. I don’t know what the future holds for us but all I can say is that I love him and I except him as he his!

      • Profile photo of Vanessa Law Author
        Vanessa Law 5 years ago

        Thanks for your reply Apple – it’s heartening to hear that you’ve been able to keep open communication and make an arrangement that works for both of you. Blessings dear!

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law Author
      Vanessa Law 5 years ago

      Hi Tigggy,

      I’m so sorry to hear about the struggles you’re having in your marriage, and hearing your husband is a crossdresser can come as quite a shock after everything else. While he has trusted you with a secret he has kept for a long time, it will take time and lots of honest communication to grow closer together. He probably shared this with you because he still loves you, but you should also let him know that he needs to do his part – be open, talk to you about his feelings, and listen when you share yours.

      I wish you two the best of luck dear!

      • Lets begin by saying most crossdressers are born that way. These are the ones I and we are concerned about. It all begins in the womb of mom just like it does for Transsexuals. That desire and compulsion to crossdress is part of who we were born as. Our Brain has been … let us just say … hot wired in the womb to crossdress. Of course there are other reasons why men crossdress such as Halloween, Professional Female Impersonation , drag queens, and business just to mention a few that has nothing todo with starting inthe womb. When the Fetus begins it’s cycle to determined what gender a baby is going to be it sometimes over completes or under completes either leaving to much or to little of the xx, xy factors in the fetus along with the chromasones and genes. Way to much to go into detail about here but when the brain is programed to which gender the baby is going to be it can end up with as little female information so a person is born with the desire to just wear the under garments of the opposite gender all the way to being Transsexual and having SRS surgery. The Brain is a major computer, lets say an organic computer and does have errors when processing. As an example I am sure everyone knows about hermaphrodites or as they are refered to today, intersexed people. These people were born with both genders because when the gender cycle began it really over processed and the cycle of gender Identification and hormone wash really went haywire for lack of words. Thus the baby was born a hermaphrodite. The same thing happens when Transsexuals are born and crossdressers. Again it depends on how much female information was processed in the womb and how much of the brain is feminine. Just thought I would try to tell how we became crossdressers. It seemed like some did not really know. None of us are crazy,in fact if we had not been born to crossdress we would not be who we are today. Many do not understand and I am probably going to freak some out but, that the human body is just a shell that houses the real you. The genes, hormones, xx and xy factors, chomosones and much more decide how we are going to appear to others, in other words what we look like on the out side. but if you took your brain out and hooked it up to a machine that kept it alive you would still have all your thoughts, fears, memories, feeling etc but you would not be able to see, hear, feel, touch , walk, talk but you would still be you but instead of being you in your body you are now you as the machine. Your body is now a empty shell because your brain which is the real you is not in there any more. lets say your brain is the hard drive of your body. Just like a computer, if you remove the hard drive the computer does not work. Hope Ididnpt freak to many out, just trying to help …

  174. Lynzi Reid 5 years ago

    Cross dressing has dominated my life. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop. All I wanted was to be ‘normal’ and enjoy life. I hated myself so much for being this way, suffering depression through the utter loneliness, embarrassment and self disgust caused by what society deems perverted and wrong. Considering suicide was an regular occurrence while hiding it from the world hoping it would go away. I worked hard, soon married a beautiful woman and we had 2 kids.
    But I couldn’t stop the NEED to crossdress. The urges became stronger, more sexual, more often. My confidence as a man diminished, soon my wife left me after cheating on me many times. I don’t blame her, I couldn’t fulfill her needs, instead I was wearing her panties and playing with her dildo. Crossdressing has been a curse, but I’ll be honest with you, it feels fucking fantastic!! I am what I am, I only wish I had the courage to accept myself earlier. So many took the suicide route and thats a sad reflection on society. We are a growing community and we will be accepted one day!
    xxx

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law Author
      Vanessa Law 5 years ago

      Hey sweetie, sorry that you’ve had such a rough time. Have you tried seeing a therapist to better understand you desires, and integrate them into your life? For many crossdressers the urge can be all consuming, and it’s good to have the right balance for your life. Thanks for sharing dear, I pray that you find what makes you happy!

  175. Mike 5 years ago

    I dress for the feeling of femininity that is missing from my marriage. I did it when I was younger and about 15 years ago my wife changed and didn’t allow me access to her soft and feminine side so I started dressing again after 10 years of marriage. I am now basically the male and female in the relationship. She won’t wear sexy clothes, minimal make-up, sleeps with her whole body covered, has sex with me once a week at the same time, exactly the same way every time so I take care of my needs myself. I’d actually prefer to have her be more feminine but it isn’t going to happen any time soon. I’ve accepted it and become more comfortable all the time. I wish I had a better female build but do enjoy the end result all the same. I like to feminize myself head to toe, enjoy painting my nails, breast forms and hip padding, girdles, hose, wig, dresses and make-up it’s such a relaxing escape. I also like to do more female things while dressed like wash dishes, laundry, vacuum, and cook while walking around in heels. She works a ton of hours and brings home most of the bacon while I cook it.

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law Author
      Vanessa Law 5 years ago

      Hey Mike, thanks for sharing hon. It’s hard when your partner has become more distant. Open and frequent communication is one of the more essential skills tht couples need to cultivate, especially in non-traditional circumstances. I pray that you two can grow closer together and find a balance that edifies both of you.

      *hugs*

  176. oakwoodspirit 5 years ago

    I have CD since I was about 5 I starting out with my moms pantys,for me it has always been about sexual gradification.The odd thing with me is that after i get off i dont want to wear the things anymore untill the nex time.I have a loving wife that knows.If she dosent like it she has never told me.My fantisy has always been to have lesbian sex.and have acted it out a few times with my wife.I at times see goodlooking women and wish i could be them if only for a night so that i could experiance what a female orgasm would feel like,because I dont think it is the same.Women are sexual beings from their toes to the top of their heads,There is nothing about their bodys that they do not modify in some way.But the question is why do men crossdress.If you believe in the bibble it says women was made from a mans rib so with that said we men also have women within us as well,however it also says that wearing each others clothes is an abomination to the lord,but what is strictly only womans clothes.Our fore fathers wore caprees with silk stockings and high heels along with long wigs.scottish men wear kilts and at some point in time it was the fashon that men wore corsets.Think about the people in the middle east they wear man dresses.Fore me it started out with the material the things wer made from and the only clothes out their made from that stuff is womens.but thinking the situation threw,women cross dress every day wearing our pants.

  177. Paulette 5 years ago

    I tried my fist woman’s blouse about two weeks ago and had an experience of sudden epiphany an overwhelming feeling of “wow!” came over me, and now I’m “all in.” I want to dress like a lady, act like a lady, talk and pass as a woman. I am bisexual and still want sex with a woman, but now fantasize more than ever about having sex with men. I’m changing. Something’s happening to me and I want support. I live in Michigan and can’t find a support group. I don’t want to change back I want support on how to do this and talk out my feelings.

  178. Constance 5 years ago

    Well this has been all informing but quite honestly I find myself sitting here nervous, confused and unsure. I recently divorced after 26 years in a straight marriage. Cross dressing was not accepted, actually ridiculed. I am now dating a man who has every quality of a man/cowboy and that is what attracted me to him. Sex is awesome, often times trying to find new locations that are very risque to do it. He has informed me that he enjoys cross dressing. I was okay with what I thought was very occasional. Once in a while. We talked about it openly and even indulged in a bit of it. It seemed fun and exciting. As our relationship has progressed I’m finding out that it is much more prominant in his life. Wearing woman’s panties daily and nighties to bed.Secretly wearing bra’s while we are together( I always notice) His dream this Halloween was to go out dressed as a woman and me as a man. I couldn’t do it and he respected that however I could tell he felt cheated. Shopping has become something I try to avoid as when looking for clothing for myself I feel it changing toward him. He says he likes things but are they for him or me? I know he has had sex with a man (or more) and that just kinda seals the deal for me that this is big in his life. I love everything we are when we are together as guy and girl, me being the girl. Its amazing! I’m trying to be supportive and he claims he will not let this come between us but after reading all these posts I don’t think it is something that will fade, maybe only get bigger. Lately I find myself dreaming about it and feeling sick with the thought of him at home putting on make up. Why is it so hard for me to accept this? Like I read in an earlier post, I do feel I’m being robbed of my role as the female in our relationship. Please, Please help me to understand as I don’t want this to be the cause of our relationship diminishing.
    HOPEFUL…Constance

  179. Kuchel 5 years ago

    Hi
    I am a married man leaving in Sydney. I used to dress because dressing my life less stressful. I used to do it secretly but a year back my wife caught me. So I had to come clean. She argued and fought with me. I wanted peace in my life so I stopped dressing. I stayed away from early 6- 7 months but It is back again. And I do not want to go through the pain. Dressing plays big part in my sexual life. Dont’t what to do. This is mythought.

    • will 5 years ago

      Good luck on your transition, I feel your uncertainty, but you cannot deny your sexuality. If you like pink panties, stockings and a man loving you, then play on!

      Best, Will

  180. Chloe 5 years ago

    Your boyfriend is very lucky msC. You say you can accept his need to dress up, that is very special. Just sit down and talk to him one evening, maybe while you are having a few drinks together. Tell him you accept him for everything that he is and that you want to share his love of dressing up. How lucky can a guy get?
    If I were married and my wife approached me on that basis I would be delighted.

  181. Carol 5 years ago

    My dad secretly cross dressed, but I didn’t find out till I was in my 50’s. After my dad died, and before my mom died, she told my sister. My sister had to promise not to tell me, because my mom thought that it would hurt me. One day it slipped out of my sisters mouth. I am hurt because they didn’t tell me. I would have been cool with it.

  182. Angie 5 years ago

    Hi all. I have found reading these postings very interesting. There is quite a range of perspectives. The question of this thread is “Why do men crossdress?” and, from the varied answers, you can tell there is no one-size-fits-all answer. One poster attempted to do so by stating that crossdressing is based on gender dysphoria. Well, it may be for him, but that is more of a transgender issue. I commonly see a confusing of transgender with transvestism (crossdressing.) I’d like to share some thinking with the ladies that have posted in obvious distress about discovering their husbands crossdress.

    As cd or tg posting here will tell you, there is no such thing as strictly male and strictly female. There are those that insist they are only one or the other, and I have no reason to disbelieve them. The rest of us, both male and female, fall along a continuum from males who are mostly male to females who are mostly female to males who are mostly female and females who are mostly male (that’s where gender dysphoria comes in to play.) It is very common for wives, upon learning that their husbands are cd, immediately fear they are going to lose their husbands to homosexuality or gender reassignment. For my wife, it was fear that I would start dating men.

    By way of background, I’m now 61 years of age and started underdressing around age 50. I didn’t start wearing outer wear en femme until a couple of years ago, and there is no way I would ever be passable, so it is a private thing between my wife and me. Once she understood that, no, I’m not gay and no, I don’t want to be a gg (genetic girl) she was able to enjoy the changes that started occuring in me. She noticed that I was becoming more patient, more nuturing and loving. She also noticed that when I’m dressed en femme I’m much more relaxed and layed back (you’ll hear that comment from a lot of cd’s and tg’s.) I share this with the ladies who posted their anxieties because I’d like to encourage you to explore the up side of your husband becoming honest about the feminine within him. I can’t imagine going back to the hard-driven, macho man I was, nor could my wife. We would both count that as loss. What I have discovered is that in embracing the femme within, I have a much broadened sense of identity and have lost a lot of prejudices in the process. Interestingly, my wife hasn’t lost a husband – she has gained a girlfriend to go shopping with and do nails together (toe nails are tough by yourself!) We have a ball picking out clothes for each other and having girlfriend nights where we wear matching nighties, pop popcorn, put on a chick flick and do nails. Outside of the house, I’m am totally the husband and the protector and the opener of doors.

    For us, it is a total win-win. I wish you ladies good fortune in exploring the up side of what your husbands are becoming.

    Kindest regards,
    Angie

  183. jim harrison 5 years ago

    i love wearing light colored lipsick an eye shadow. i also wear womens shorts jeans and shoes. it just makes me feel better. i have had no negative comments because i do it sparingly.

    • jim 5 years ago

      love wearing womens shoes and ligt colored lipstick

  184. katie 5 years ago

    Im a student I’m writing my dissertation on a subject similar to this i would really appreciate if you could tell me whether you choose to cross dress always or occasionally in woman s attire your first experience of cross dressing how it made you feel? and also how it felt? and also the very complex and hard to answer question of why you still cross dress? in the books i have been reading i can only find examples from the 1880s (Blending Genders) so this would be a great help thank you

  185. Tammy 5 years ago

    Tammy says:

    I’m 62 and I’m a cross dresser why I get this feeling inside to dress up I don’t know. I know I do feel good and I’m relaxed. I do dress up every day. but like others I don’t use the makeup. I just dress. I know I’m a man and I want to stay a man but this is just one thing Like and I don’t feel I’m hurting anyone.
    My wife knows about it and she lets me do it as long as it dose not inter fear with are lives and I know she loves me more because I told her then doing this behind her back.
    msC my wife ask me why I dress or why I must dress. All I can say that we cross dressers have drives and it gets strong sometimes. Mine is every day after work.
    Yes there is times that I well go for a week or for a weekend without dressing but the drive is still there. I feel it is my Hobby. I don’t go to town in drag and I don’t ware wigs or make up but I well tell you I do have a wig.
    I have been dressing since I was a young boy. I had two sisters and I would get there things and put them on. Now I have my own things. Some times I well ware my panties and bra to work under my work cloths. But I am who I am. thank you for reading this.

  186. Graham 5 years ago

    Crossdressing is a self-solicitous obssession derived and internally reinforcing the impulse triggers from early experiential sensations. It is without exception allied to sexual psychology, even if not inclusive of physical sexual behaviour.

    In saying this, there are many variables involved to some degree or other, and this is why, because of the spectrum of their combining, no one answer can be elicited from a study on crossdressing. No one specific reason can be uncovered that will explain it all in a nut shell, but is a kaleidoscope of emotions, psycho-sexual dynamics, environmental and internal triggers, and response habituation to those triggers that provide a circular feedback loop of reinforcement.

    If the act (or maybe ‘art’?) of crossdressing has a statement, it is not one that is externalized simply in the wearing of the opposite sex’s gender-defining clothing…no, that is incidental, but is more an internalized realization of answering response mechanisms to learned behavioural characteristics from earlier life experiences of particular resonance.

  187. Tammy 5 years ago

    I have been dressing for so long I don’t remember when I started. I know I was very young I grew up with two sisters and I think that was when it started. Once I started I liked the feeling and I like doing it with out getting found out. Although I think my mother knew. I dressed in privet ever since then and I steel have a relaxing feeling.
    Now I’m a man and I know I’m a man I can’t see myself with another man I get the feeling inside and it feels good. Now I don’t see I’m hurting anyone I do this in privet and I don’t go around trying to be what I’m not. I just wish the world would open there eyes and see people like me and so many other need this to keep are sanity. We just step into the other world and enjoy the feelings. I like to think of it as my hobby.
    Some people drink to kill there stress and there problems but they are still there and then you have one more problem the hang over. We cross dressers have that problem we just go into are little world for a while and enjoy. Then face the problem strait on and it is only one problem not more that we added on.
    Why do we dress. Why do we do anything. It is feeling to try it is enjoyment accept. Now I enjoy it so much I even ware my panties and bra under my cloths like now I have a bra and panties on. So world I’m a man I don’t want to be a woman I just see myself as being turned on to woman’s cloths. Look even with the first man and the first woman they didn’t have a man leaf or a woman leaf to cover them self’s. I’m 63 and enjoying my life and my wife knows and is behind me on this.

    • Kuchel 5 years ago

      Hi
      I liked your comment. I am closet crossdresser. I have a family. My wife hates it. I used to wear clothes and stuff in secret. One day I was caught doing it. We had terrible fight. Now I have stopped but my mind long to wear woman clothes. I work in a high pressure job. Dressing was something I want to do after stress. But I guess I cannot do it anymore. I feel sad, I feel fustrated. I tried to speak to my wife but she wont understand. I try to socialise with other who have same interest.

  188. KathysaCD 5 years ago

    GENDER and SEX are both highly inaccurate and politically incorrect terms used to pidgeon hole and oppress people in every sense of the words themselves — The proper word is ROLE !!! These words should be changed on forms for the general public, they are often demeaning and disregard transgendered and those who would enjoy being themselves and who they are, they want to contribute to society just like everyone else — their looks shouldn’t matter, they make no difference on the quality of work or life.

    There is such a thing as a third sex just as there are essentially four different personality types like those on the Myers-Briggs test (INTJ, ENTJ, etc). I suggest we relable both SEX and GENDER and properly use the right word — ROLES — this
    makes both the role that a person is playing and what their orientations are very simple. Psychologists take note !

    Here’s my point — Women who go to work and walk around in men’s clothing all day long are playing a predominant ROLE and
    that would be the male ROLE. Most women today are very aggressive want to be masculine and therefore dress up to act the part like a man in public with all the mannerisms, virtually devoid of any feminine qualities to include the way they walk, talk, eat and work. In the office environment, it vurges on obsessive and extreme behavior at times and views that when in the many often are intended to subdue anyone who disagrees — read: major league group think. Virtually no women I meet at work likes dresses. Hardly any of them wears a skirt outside of the home and very grudgingly with a boyfriend, although some are required by their work to dress as females in skirts and dresses — others like to play the female ROLE in society, because they recognize they are feminine and some are aware that other women dislike or have disdain for a man in women’s clothing. The mere thought of a man in feminine clothing is an affront to her sensibilities and dominant ROLE.

    Wearing panties and hose underneath your jeans or slacks anywhere is NOT an gender issue, it’s the expression of a person’s dominant ROLE. Playing the female ROLE discreetly is just the same as openly gay and lesbian people playing roles as either male or female partners or females who may or may not play male roles in relationships that do very well mind you with cross dressers. There is no threat to a woman’s sexuality — he’s just expressing his appreciation for the opposite sex. Changing one’s own sexual desires to suit the other in response to cross dressing only creates issues in a relationship if it is not a loving and caring relationship. Doing that creates nothing for than a short lived marriage and an enduring power struggle between partners. Those who learn to accept their partner for what they really are tend to live very happy and full lives…

    Clothing is not the primary way to identify someone’s gender, ROLE is. Either way, a man who dresses up in women’s clothing
    is not unusual nor is he trying to overtly or covertly subverting the female ROLE or make fun of it for that matter. Wearing a skirt or going full tilt and dressing up as the opposite sex is merely a way of expressing one’s inner beauty and femininity, there’s nothing wrong with that. Men and women who have a problem with cross dressing need to come to terms with their fears and need to be locked in a room with the other sex cross dressed until they come to terms there are more than two sexes in the world and that’s the way it is. In reality, having seen a man with a woman, both dressed in denim skirts
    and pantyhose roaming around Walmart on several occassions I’ve noticed that in almost every case virtually no one cares. A
    man in a skirt is still a man, is still as fertile as ever and he has a wife with him so in the bedroom it’s business as
    usual — if you know what I mean. The only difference is his wife has “come out of the closet” in terms of her medieval
    thinking…more men and women need to broach the subject.

    There are multiple ROLES in society: Male, Female, Transgender, Hermaphrodite — someone needs to sit down a build a chart
    like the Myers-Briggs chart and spell it out for everyone else to understand, then men in women’s clothing won’t be so
    unusual to the rest of the society. Actually, I believe there are five altogether, possibly more, because there are many
    more ROLES that us humans live very functionally in society as, the cardinal four listed above can be expanded upon: Male
    looks with female parts, female looks with male parts and some who don’t fit the cookie cutter standard “SEX” with one of
    each or two of both. God made us who we are, why change that ? Society needs to respect God’s decision, but let’s not bring
    religion into this. When filling out these roles there ought to be a way to convey a person’s ROLE on a standard form or
    anywhere else such as FWM :

    F = Role — dressed up as a female
    W = Orientation — Interested in women
    M = Biology — a male

    As you can see, this is much more distinctive, in fact it allows for variations, F,W, M, T (TF for transgender females, TM for transgender males, TH for hermaphrodites, etc…). There’s no limit or boundary to the actual role, orientation or
    biological makeup of a given person. And that is the key, either way we are all people.

    What it should say is ROLE — men who cross dress are no threat to women or society, just the same as women, over 98% of
    them are heterosexual and have absolutely no interest in dating or even being with other men — this is very well known
    fact, yet women often, out of fear and their own sense of misguided perception of what is good and reality, often mislabel men who cross dress as being gay. Nothing could be further from the truth, particularly for those of us who enjoy it 😉

    — Additionally, the U.S. Office of Personnel Management just this week of December 2011, had this to say —

    Employers are having a tough time trying to figure out how to respond to the many issues surrounding transgender individuals
    in the workplace – transgender customers, transgender employees, and employees who are offended by gender nonconformity.

    What should employers do when a transgender individual seeks to use a fitting room, restroom or locker room consistent with
    his or her gender identity? The answers are far from clear, but guidance intended for federal employers has much to offer.

    Earlier this month, a media storm erupted when Macy’s fired a female employee who advised a transgender male-to-female
    customer that the customer could not use the women’s filling room, an apparent violation of the giant retailer’s corporate
    policies. The employee, who is a Christian, defended her actions on religious grounds, citing her right not to ignore what she characterized as the customer’s “true” gender or to condone homosexuality. She also apparently believed the customer might subject other patrons to discomfort or danger by using the women’s fitting room. After hiring a Christian law firm, the employee filed a complaint with the EEOC.

    It will be interesting to watch the development of this battle between religious and gender discrimination. But in the
    meantime, many employers are wondering what to do should similar circumstances arise – and feeling damned if they do, and damned if they don’t.

    Religious accommodation? Arguably, a reasonable first step might have been to change the employee’s duties in an attempt to accommodate her religious sensibilities – perhaps assigning her to cashier, rather than fitting room duties. Of course, that may not have prevented the employee from being religiously affronted each time a transgender patron walked through the
    fitting room door. To allow the employee’s religious convictions so much sway as to permit her to prevent transgender patrons from using the fitting room consistent with their gender identity would likely not only cause the employer more than an undue hardship, it may also have given rise to liability for discrimination against patrons – an issue Macy’s had apparently encountered previously.

    Battles such as these are likely to continue as employers increasingly face the question of how to deal with individuals who do not conform to gender stereotypes. A recent federal appeals court decision sheds some light on the question. Although it does not involve the religious discrimination issue encountered in the Macy’s case, it does address in the context of justification for bias, a similar issue – transgender employees using a restroom consistent with their gender identity.

    Transgender employee wins sex bias claim. Just two days before the media frenzy over the Macy’s situation, the Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals rendered an opinion in favor of a transgender state government employee who was discharged due to
    her gender nonconformity. The appeals court held that discriminating against someone on the basis of her gender
    nonconformity constitutes sex-based discrimination in violation of the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment
    of the U.S. Constitution, ruling in favor of the male-to-female transgender employee on her claim that she was fired due to
    sex discrimination (Glenn v Brumby, December 6, 2011, Barkett, R).

    When the employee was hired as an editor by the Georgia General Assembly’s Office of Legislative Council (OLC), she was
    presenting as a man. The head of the OLC, who was also the chief legal counsel for the OLC, was responsible for all
    personnel decisions.

    In the year following her hire, the employee informed her direct supervisor that she was transgender and was in the process of becoming a woman. On the one occasion that the employee came to work presenting as a woman (on Halloween when OLC employees were permitted to come to work wearing costumes), the OLC head told her that her appearance was inappropriate and
    asked her to leave the office. The OLC head took no adverse employment action against her at the time, and in the following
    months she came to work presenting as a man.

    The next year, she informed her supervisor that she was ready to proceed with her gender transition and would begin coming
    to work as woman. When the supervisor informed the OLC head, he told the supervisor that he was going fire the employee
    because of the gender transition and then did so.

    The editor filed suit, alleging among others, a sex discrimination claim. A district court granted summary judgment in favor of the editor on this claim.

    Gender stereotyping and equal protection. On appeal, citing the landmark case of Price Waterhouse v Hopkins, the Eleventh
    Circuit noted that the U.S. Supreme Court has held that discrimination on the basis of gender stereotype is sex-based
    discrimination. Applying the logic of that decision to the case at hand, the Eleventh Circuit reasoned that “[a] person is
    defined as transgender precisely because of the perception that his or her behavior transgresses gender stereotypes.” Thus,
    there is congruence between discriminating against transgender and transsexual individuals, and discrimination on the basis
    of gender-based behavioral norms, the court concluded.

    The First, Sixth, and Ninth Circuits, as well as many district courts, have also held that discrimination against a
    transgender individual because of her gender-nonconformity is sex discrimination, whether it’s described as being on the
    basis of sex or gender, the Eleventh Circuit stated. Moreover, supported by citations to Fourth, Seventh and Ninth Circuit
    decisions, the court here pointed out that all persons, whether transgender or not, are protected from discrimination on the
    basis of gender stereotype. “Because these protections are afforded to everyone, they cannot be denied to a transgender
    individual,” the Eleventh Circuit wrote.

    “Ever since the Supreme Court began to apply heightened [constitutional] scrutiny to sex-based classifications, its
    consistent purpose has been to eliminate discrimination on the basis of gender stereotypes,” the Eleventh Circuit noted.
    Accordingly, governmental acts based upon gender stereotypes must be subjected to heightened scrutiny (as are all other
    gender discrimination claims) because they embody the very stereotype the law condemns. “We conclude that a government agent

    violates the Equal Protection Clause’s prohibition of sex-based discrimination when he or she fires a transgender or
    transsexual employee because of his or her gender non-conformity,” the Eleventh Circuit wrote.
    Termination. The court then turned to the issue of whether the editor was fired on the basis of her gender-nonconformity.

    The OLC head testified at his deposition that he fired the editor because he considered it “inappropriate” for her to appear at work dressed as a woman and that he found it “unsettling” and “unnatural” that she would appear wearing women’s clothing.

    He also testified that his decision to fire her was based on his perception of the editor as “a man dressed as a woman and
    made up as a woman,” and he admitted that his decision to fire her was based on “the sheer fact of the transition.” This
    testimony provided ample direct evidence to support the district court’s finding that the OLC head acted on the basis of the editor’s gender non-conformity.

    Had this case been a Title VII case, the analysis would end at this point, the Eleventh Circuit said. However, because the
    editor’s claim was based on the Equal Protection Clause, the court was required under heightened scrutiny to consider whether the OLC head succeeded in showing that there was a “sufficiently important governmental interest” for his
    discriminatory conduct, the court explained, adding that this burden rested entirely on the state.

    Restroom defense fails. The OLC head offered, on appeal, only one putative justification for the firing: his purported
    concern that failure to fire the editor could expose the state government to suits for invasion of privacy or sexual
    harassment. However, he presented insufficient evidence to show that he was actually motivated by concern over litigation
    regarding the editor’s restroom use, the Eleventh Circuit ruled. To support this justification, the OLC head pointed to a
    single statement in his deposition where he referred to a speculative concern about lawsuits arising if the editor used the women’s restroom. He asserted that, although there were single-occupancy restrooms available in the OLC office, the editor was not required to use these and may have used the multi-person restrooms located elsewhere in the Georgia Capitol
    Building.

    There was no evidence that the restroom issue was an actual concern of the OLC head because there was nothing in the record
    to show he discussed this purported concern with anyone, and there was no evidence that the editor had used, or ever
    intended to use, the female restrooms in the capitol building while presenting as a woman. Also, there was no evidence of
    any complaints concerning the employee’s restroom use. Indeed, the Eleventh Circuit pointed out, the OLC head testified that
    he viewed the possibility of a lawsuit by a coworker if the editor were retained as unlikely.Because the OLC head offered “no other reason that could qualify as a governmental purpose, much less an ‘important’ governmental purpose, and even less than that, a ‘sufficiently important governmental purpose,’” that was achieved by firing the editor due to gender nonconformity, the Eleventh Circuit affirmed the district court’s ruling in favor of the editor on her sex discrimination claim.

    Guidance for employers. Employers clearly may not discriminate based upon nonconformity to gender stereotypes. The Glenn
    case, while providing a peek at the analysis courts may apply to the “restroom defense” in the context of a government
    justification for intentional bias against transgender employees, falls short of offering concrete guidance to employers.

    However, guidance for federal employers that was issued by the U.S. Office of Personnel Management (OPM) earlier this year
    may also prove helpful to private sector employers as well.

    Noting that several issues commonly generate questions from managers and employees working with a transitioning employee,
    the OPM provided guidance on these issues, including use of restrooms and other sanitary facilities, to assist in “ensuring
    that transitioning employees are treated with dignity and respect.” The guidance includes the following statements:

    • Sanitary and related facilities: The OSHA guidelines require agencies to make access to adequate sanitary facilities as
    free as possible for all employees in order to avoid serious health consequences. For a transitioning employee, this means
    that, once the employee has begun living and working full-time in the gender that reflects his or her gender identity,
    gencies should allow access to restrooms and (if provided to other employees) locker room facilities consistent with his or
    her gender identity.

    • Confidentiality and privacy: An employee’s transition should be treated with as much sensitivity and confidentiality as
    any other employee’s significant life experiences, such as hospitalization or marital difficulties. Employees in transition usually want as little publicity about their transition as possible. They may be concerned about safety and employment issues if other people or employers become aware that they have transitioned. Medical information received about individual employees is protected under the Privacy Act (5 U.S.C. 552a).

    • Dress and appearance: Employees who begin the “real life experience” stage are required under the WPATH Standards to live and work full-time in the target gender in all aspects of their life, including dressing at all times in the clothes of the target gender. Once an employee has informed management that he or she is transitioning, the employee will begin wearing the clothes associated with the gender to which he or she is transitioning. Agency dress codes should be applied to gender-transitioning employees in the same way they are applied to other employees of that gender. Dress codes should not be used to prevent transgender employees from living full-time in the role consistent with their gender identity.

    • Names and pronouns: Managers, supervisors, and coworkers should use the name and pronouns appropriate to the employee’s
    new gender. Managers, supervisors, and coworkers should also take care to use the correct name and pronouns in employee
    records and in communications with others about the employee. Continued intentional misuse of the employee’s new name and
    pronouns, and reference to the employee’s former gender by managers, supervisors, or coworkers may undermine the employee’s therapeutic treatment, and is also contrary to the goal of treating transitioning employees with dignity and respect. Such misuse may also breach the employee’s privacy and create a risk of harm to the employee.

    • Recordkeeping: Consistent with the Privacy Act, the records in the employee’s Official Personnel Folder (OPF) and other
    employee records (pay accounts, training records, benefits documents, etc.) should be changed to show the employee’s new
    name and gender, once the employee has begun working full-time in the gender role consistent with his or her gender identity.

    • Insurance benefits: Employees in transition who already have federal insurance benefits must be allowed to continue their
    participation, and new employees must be allowed to elect participation in their new names and genders. If the transitioning employees are validly married at the time of the transition, the transition does not affect the validity of that marriage, and spousal coverage should be extended or continued even though the employee in transition has a new name and gender.

    Wise employers will not wait for cases to work their way through the courts as more transgender-related issues arise before taking action – the OPM’s guidance may be a good place to start.

  189. Blake 5 years ago

    I dont like to call it “crossdressing”it sounds freaky.I dont consider myself that,i just like skirts.The are so comfortable and natural feeling when i wear my skirts.And I have many.We dont call women crossdresser when they wear guy clothes…that is so sexist..I wear a skirt everyday,to work and when im not at work.I am just the same person as if i was wearing jeans,which i dont wear but maybe once a month at most.You should try it some time,then you would know why guys like skirts.And just a FYI,women adopted the skirt from the mens wardrobe,AND it wasnt until the 1930’s or so til women wore pants when women first started wearing pants,and they had the risk of being arrest.Do a google search on the history of the skirt.Dont be affraid.And most women like to see a guy in a skirt.As of last night i was standing in line at the cash register,the was a woman behind me and she said,” i really like your skirt” i then said ” thanks”.I told her “im was tired of just wearing pants”,she then said“i dont blame you,skirts are much better”….so give it a try,you will see what i am saying…

  190. Tammy 5 years ago

    yes like you I don’t know where the feeling comes from but it is there. It nags me from time to time. So help the feeling I just ware one of my bras and panties under my every day close. I’ve cross dress for 50 year off and on. I’ve tried to stop but the feeling is still pushing. Like it is something I must do. But I know I’m a man and I want to stay a man but I have this woman change attact.

  191. Guy 5 years ago

    I started at 7 wearing my moms bras and panties, and now at 50 i am still doing it, I have learned to buy the right womans clothes to wear in public and not really be noticed, I wear a B-cup bra with a gel breastform, my breast peak out a bit, but only a little, I buy stretch couduroy pants and wear them with a padded girdle, make my shape very girly, always wear knee highs, and I have a pair of womans flats that look pretty girly, so I only wear them when I am feeling bold, I have a tall womans coat that is ofrm fitting, the colors are red and black so it’s not totally fem, but pretty much, my breast peak out enough that the woman who look know, I go to JC Pennys or another department store in the mornings and wear my fem stuff, I know I am noticed sometimes, but know one has said anything, if I feel real frisky I will swish a little, i have a girlfriend who dosen’t know, and I don’t think she would approve, but I enjoy going out in my girly clothes and swishing, I just love the feeling of a bra, girdle and pantyhose on, and wish I could just wear a dress all the time and damn the people who don’t like it.

  192. William 5 years ago

    I just bought females clothese and breasts and wigs on ebay. I asked my wife to buy me stockings, suspependers, tights, shoes and make up. She did this reluctantly. I walked out crossdressed into the garden and chatted with some neighbours. She got mad at me for that. I asked to have sex with men. My wife agreed with that as long as I used condoms since she was still having sex with me. Also I had to have sex with men starting either naked of dressed as a man. She will not go out with me dressed up at present but since I’ve given up sex with men for health reasons I think I will try to get her to go out with me cross dressed. I don’t understand why your wives are not like mine.

  193. Womens lingerie 5 years ago

    hi!,I love your writing very so much! proportion we keep up a correspondence extra approximately your post on AOL? I need an expert in this house to unravel my problem. Maybe that’s you! Taking a look forward to peer you.

  194. Blake 5 years ago

    To Mike,
    Im a guy,and i wear a nightie to bed every night.Actually a “TEDDY”I dont see anything wrong with guys liking to wear girl stuff.And yes,i am straight.Its like,ok,he likes it,so what.And i do wear a skirt to work and when im not at work.I wear a skirt as i would if i was wearing pants.Which i dont wear anymore…only pleated skirts for me,above the knee about 3 inches or so.

  195. graham 5 years ago

    yes i do wear panties bras dress nightie too my girlfriend buy them for me she has brought me my women clothes when on night she saw that i was wearing panties she ask me how long have you been wearing panties i sais for years well then i think i will buy you some more but you will wear them 247 days week and you will wear a bra too now how that sound i said that fine with me good i thougth you would like that now come here and put this bra and panties,dress on you did not said anything about a dress well you just cant wear panties,bra the dress is for around the house you can be my little girl i said ok i will be your girl well that was a year ago now i wear them all the time as i write this im in a blue nightie and panties last night we were watching a pron movcie it was about man being sissy i ask her why are we watching this she said you need to know how to become one you see i want you as my sissy wife that why i had you dress as a girl for a year now you are ready for the next step i ask her what next isaid sign this letter and i will tel you i did as told i sign and now im a sissy wife for all her women,male friends my only place now is to be her slave girl now i must go i have to take my pills that help my breast grow but first i my master need a bath so i will be a good wife and wash him

    • Blake 5 years ago

      Is this real ? I get the feeling that you wrote this for arousal purpose of the readers ?

      • Janelle 5 years ago

        Why would it not be real? My fiance is a sissy, but only sometimes. We are into a lot of things and try to switch things up. Recently, we decided that he should have the surgery when we are older, long after our children are born. Does anyone know any good sites that sell breast forms and clothing? Preferably cheap ones? We have yet to buy anything, he has been wearing my clothes.

      • Alexis Sin 4 years ago

        Much like others, I got my start as a young boy at about 5. i found a long hair wig and a dress in a dress up box, and went nuts.. i also found a big kids diaper and tried that on.. and though it was the bee’s knees.. then a couple of years later, i was molested in my mouth by an older sibling, no one knew about me liking dressing up as a :sissy”.. as i got older and into puberty I found other boys my age into the idea of “practicing” on me with me wearing girly outfits.. and a lot of time is would sneak adult diapers into the house to wear to bed with nighties and ribbons in my hair and lil lipstick.. then id wake up shower off and go to school with no one being the wiser.. and then as life moved on and women came in to my life the cross dressing kind of stopped a bit,, but the kinky stuff and diapers happened a lot more .. until i got married and came out to my wife.. we experimented with all sorts of role play and what not.. it was very fullfilling but she wasnt that into it.. that and other things caused us to divorce down the road.. After that.. my late 20’s I got WAY into dressing.. and drugs, and found a couple of different guys to experiment with.. nothing romantic ever came of it so i went back to women very quickly.. I was up front about my lifestyle with every girl i dated since then.. and have found a wonderful gal who understands me.. we have a kid together so all the fun kinky stuff and dressing is kept to a minimum (practically nil), but then again.. i have changed a lot now.. i still have these urges to dress up and freak out every once in while. but for the most part.. i’m over it.. lol hope this helps anybody else out here..

      • Samantha 4 years ago

        I am a 17 year old male and i find myself lost, ive been crossdressing ever since i was around 7 or 8 and its always been in private and it is that way because im terrified of what people will say and or do to me if i try to come out with it im not gay but im not straight either an i would love tobe able to freely and able to walk outside in leggins an a skirt or even skinny jeans and high heels, but im just so confused and am in despret need to talk to someone who knows how i feel so if someone could reply to this and talk to me it would be greatly apprechited thank you

        Samantha

  196. Andrea 5 years ago

    So i have read some of the comments and thank each and every one for their input. I myself am atracted to woman’s clothing and to don’t know why to a certain extreme. Tonight will be the first time for me to go out dressed up as a “woman look alike”, with the help of my lesbian friend whom will be applying some make-up to make me more passable. I don’t want to give up my manlyhood as i am still 100% man but also can be very femine sometimes. I think for me I need to dress up to satisfy the reason to comunicate better with the gilrs so I can be hidden from being a man and get into touch more with my femine side.
    And by the way i will be going to gay club tonight, might just make some of the boys excited. tell me as i am very confussed is this wrong what i am doing?

  197. Andrea 5 years ago

    So i have gone to the club dressed up. I loved it and felt very good in the clothes i bought. But hated the fact that some of the gay guys in there actually told me gay’s are not intrested in Draggs. Surely this is not true. Look I am Bi. I loved the attention i got from some of the Girls and were even kissed by a boy, and girl and we had a good chat now and then. anyway overally i Loved it and have in actual fact bought myself a new dress for the next night out.

    • Vanessa Willaims 4 years ago

      I also started experimenting when I was about eight years old. And I really dont know why I dress. Its like I have to I feel compelled too. I want to come out of the closet. Because I hate hiding it. But I’m also attracted to women. Im not attracted to men. But I have been trying to find why I feel drawn to it. It is like I have split personality. And the female side is stronger. And yes I am a man…sometimes

  198. Chrissie 5 years ago

    I have been crossdressing for about 10 years. 43 now. I started when I lived alone which made it something that only I had to live with. I got married 7 years ago. I love my wife and she loves me back very much. However, she is totally against seeing me wearing a dress. I told her about the cross dressing before we got engaged. She got very upset about cause she thinks that it is a homosexual behavior. She pleaded with me to go see a psychologist so I could get over the cross dressing. I vigorisly declined. I don’t feel sick. So I have to do it in secret, which make me feel so awful, because I feel like I am doing something wrong.

    I suppose when you look at it rationally I am hurting my wife because I engage in a practice that she neither understands or even wants to try and understand. So I have alot of guilt. Thus I resolved not to cross dress.

    This works for a while, the longest I lasted without giving in to the desire was 8 months. Lately I am in a cross dressing frenzy, buying new clothes, shoes, make up and under garments off the internet. My wife has no idea.

    I considered just telling her, but I know she will freak. Not sure how to deal with this exactly, but I do know I will never be “cured”.

    I guess I just wanted to vent a little. It very frustrating to be in a relationship when your wife refuses to accept you completely.

    • Blake 4 years ago

      I dont understand why females are not called a “cross dresser” when wearing guy clothes.But guys are called a cross dresser when wearing womens clothes…its not fair..i wear a skirt everyday to work and when at home,and if it is cold out i wear leggins.I like the knee high boots women have and i wear those also.I like to wear make up and a bra and so on..and im not gay,i have 2 kids and so on.I just like the feel i get when wearing stuff like that.I do not wear it for arousal.Why are guys labeled for like to dress that way ?

  199. John Palser 5 years ago

    I have recently started cross dressing.I am 63and retired.I am a person who,for years,dreamed and fantasized about cross dressing but was always too scared and uptight to do things,a little different from the norm.This past Halloween my wife and myself were going to a costume party.I said I would go in a dress,but I wanted to look better than a guy in a dress I even shaved my beard.My wife is 100percent with me in this new side of me.She sells Avon so I have more than enough make up.Any way,I love the feeling
    of soft feminine clothes and lingerie.I should have done this years ago.I’ve gone out dressed up but only car rides so far.I’m working up courage to go more public.I’m 6ft 1in.I’ve shopped at suddenly Fem and have some clothes that really fit well,conservative skirt,nice blouse and lingerie.I still feel like a man but I enjoy cross dressing ,.Sorry I wrote so much.I hope this helps some body.I love this new part of my life and am lucky to have a wife that supports me.

    • Tryn 4 years ago

      Hello..
      I have recently met a man who enjoys cross dressing. When he told me online after we had been together I freaked out thinking he was bi or something. He told me right from the start he wanted to wear my nighties. I thought he was joking. The other night he came over and I let him wear one of my more masculine type robes.. but a silky one. I am new to this and trying to understand it. He is a wonderful caring person and can read me like a book sometimes. I think I will just go with it and see what happens. Now that I know that all men that cross dress are not gay or bisexual. I am fine with people that are, very open minded, but do not want to be in a sexual relationship with a man that is bi. Maybe this will be a whole new life for me as well at 62!

  200. Hallcat2000@Hotmail.com 5 years ago

    Hi,I’ve been dressing like a women from about the age of 7 ,i’am now 51 .My wife came with me today to see about having laser hair removal done to my face .I feel so happy about my life right now .I would hope all you girls could fine a wife like mine, that would not stand in your way but help you find and be the person inside that you want to be.I would like to read you the letter she left me on a card this is it,”Relax,You’re on a journey of discovery.Let life reveal itself to you .I won’t judge your journey or hold you back.We must help each other day by day with patience and love.Grow with me listen to your inner voice .Happy New Year Darling!2012.A New Year means changes ,growing,undrestanding difference,moods,passions,skills,gifts,habits,emotions,fears,pain,joy,lessons,experiences,and actions.
    Trust Your Heart.I love you.” My wife went with me today to see about having laser hair removal done like i told you in the start of my letter,i’am starting it in a few week’s, on my face first.I love you my dear ,Gayle .

  201. mark 4 years ago

    If women would dress like a woman, then the man wouldnt have to.almost all men want to see a woman in sexy clothing..problem is women dont want to put it on..thats why we have strip clubs and porn…so in order to have this fantasy girl..they put it on themselves to get the look that they desire..heels,stockings,garter belt,ect….so if all you women would start dressing like a woman then the men wouldnt have to…

    • Jason 4 years ago

      wow, this is by far the best explanation I could possibly have. We dress because we aren’t getting our needs met by our women. And the women who do dress sexy charge you for their time. What a shame society has strayed so far in this direction. Girls – be more sexy (not slutty/easy) but SEXY, dress to fulfill your mans every desire – then I’d be willing to bet everything I own that he would no longer need to fulfill the desire by other means. This is right on the money, thanks mark!

    • billweyrauuch 4 years ago

      My ex couldn’t deal w/it either,but when she made me mad I would get dressed up, and I even tried to her to tie /gag me ( I love bdsm). I think our mariage maybe would of been better if she had. But now I’m all by myself, and as I’m writing this I’m in my blue skirt/jacket suit. So thank the stars for those spouses who can deal w/it, and those who’s can’t, I can uderstand , been there ! . I have been doing this most of life of my life ever since I put on an old opened face girdle (w/garters) . It was rubber and I had to put baby powder on me just to get it on. I was hooked. I’m not gay and like woman, but this seemed to help doing this. Thnx’s

  202. Shaz 4 years ago

    Like you ladies my partner came out after 6 years, I feel ripped off that I have been in a relationship with someone I feel I don’t even know. Honesty is everything if a relationship is to work then the other person has the opportunity to say well hey that’s ok I can cope with this or sorry mate but its not what I want and move on before you’ve built a complex life together. This has been the most hurtful thing in my life. I guess because he doesn’t understand it so he says and if he doesn’t how the hell do I! but to throw away his best friend cause he wants to wear a dress is well weird! Wish he had given me the respect I deserve and told me all those years ago when we first were falling in love and sharing secrets oh well moving on time……

  203. Blake 4 years ago

    To Samantha,
    Im a guy that wears a skirt everyday of the week.To work or if im going to a store of any kind (in public)When it is cold out i will wear my leggins as i am now.Yes,you will get some looks,but,my experience with people is that most girl will give you a positive comment.I have alot of tattoos on my legs.People will comment on my tat’s and not say a thing about my skirt.I wear pleated plaid and solid colour skirts.The skirts i wear are about 3 inches above my knee,but each person will vary from body struture.Just be yourself when your out.I do have people say “nice kilt” i then tell them,
    “its not a kilt,its a skirt” then we both chuckle about it,then its done.For your first time out,go to a Goodwill type of store.
    They dont even care,they will probably say,nice “skirt”.I get alot of my skirts at Goodwill,and when i need to get into the fitting room,they see me holding the skirt and say “hey,thats a nice skirt,hope it fits you”…So Samantha,do it,its liberating and after awhile,you will forget about it,but,just be you.Just carry yourself as if you were in jeans….its not that big of deal.I do not wear pants anymore,skirts are way comfortable.

    • Samantha 4 years ago

      to Blake

      thank you for your comment and your insparation like ugh all i ever wanna do is have the courage and the not care attatude to be able to get up and do that but ok yess you wear a skirt and leggings but what do you wear on your upper body? (if you dont mind me askin), and another thing one prob i have with what i do is the fact that i got no self esteem 🙁 but when im dressed i always feel sexy and happy and i want to be able to feel like that without worring about other people 🙁 if you can got any more advise for me? it would be greatly apprechiated

      • codename69 4 years ago

        hi i just wanted to add my input to this thread, many many people associate crossdressers with being gay, this is totally toally untrue in fact probably about 75% of crossdressers are straight and a percentage of them happily married to a woman, i love crossdressing but i have been with my girlfriend for 2 years now and she is fully aware that i do it and she loves it for example; if she wants to try an outfit together she will often order what she wants in my size and ask me to wear it so she can proerly look at how it will look together then iof i like it we’ll keep it or if i dont and she does she will send it back and order her own size, on top of this crossdressing for me has a massive chill out factor if i am in womens clothes they are lighter more colourful and some things look absolutely amazing, i never go out in public as people round my do genuinely believe there is something wrong with people who crossdress and they can get violent, (which i obviously do not want) but if you crossdress you are not necessarily gonna be gay or have something wrong with you as other posts state there are many reason for crossdressing

      • Samantha 4 years ago

        to blake again sorry

        oh and also sorry for the second comment but how did you get the courage to get up and be able to go to stores and go and buy and try on the cloths in the dressing rooms ? like how did you start out?

  204. Blake 4 years ago

    To Samantha,
    Courage,well,I just said to myself one day,to heck what other people think of me,because,they are not dressing for what i
    think and like so im doing the same.I want to live my life
    the way i want to.I am totally COMFORTABLE wearing a skirt ANYWHERE..People will get use to to you and i and others
    wear a skirt .If i stop wearing a skirt,im sure people would say ” where’s your skirt” ? Women will talk to me about my different skirtsi wear and i have absolutley,no prob in answering any questions.If you sort of clown on yourself a lil bit,it will put the person at ease to talk to you about it.Like i say,i wear mine to work (another co worker does the same)everyday,im at work now and i have a black pleated skirt that i added a lil flare to it.It builds self confidence also.
    Be YOU…YOU want to wear a skirt,,,DO IT….

    • Tammy 4 years ago

      Maya your man is a man. I’m 62 years old and I crossdress and I enjoy doing it. I’m a man I don’t want to date other men Esther that is not my thing. I have friends but they are only friends and I don’t dress in front of them. Now I would like to have a lady like you to do things with like you do with your boyfriend. He is very lucky and he is crazy if he would ever leave you.

      Maya I do like your thoughts on us guys cross dressing. I feel that if God wanted us to dress one way or another he would have put us on earth that way.

      Tammy

      • isabella 4 years ago

        I WAS MARRIED TO A REAL MACHO MAN WHO HATED CROSS DRESSERS AND Gays,he was a bully,he died seven years ago,I am now in a relationship with a man who is a cross dresser in private,I love his feminine side,he is very loving and helps with household chores which my husband never did,I love dressing him and putting make up on him………….he is without doubt more of a man than my husband ever was.

  205. Blake 4 years ago

    To Samantha,
    Watch this video Samantha…the boy in this video might give you the courage to be you in female clothes,I think this boy is VERY courageous for doing what he is doing…an INSPIRATION for anybody..click on this link or do a copy paste..

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/26/bobby-montoya-girl-scouts_n_1033308.html

    • Samantha 4 years ago

      To Blake

      thank you very much for the link to this video and thank you for all your help i thank you very much i mean before i came on here and started talking and reading i felt all alone with what i liked to do so i always felt wierd and out of place so now im just glad that there are pepople out there that think the same way i do 🙂 i have to say you all helped me a great deal to relize that im not alone in this world and i dont know how to thank you enough for all of your insparation 🙂 i think tmro and more often then enough im going to be trying to start going out dressed 🙂 cauyse when im dressed i always feel so much more comfertable and it makes me happy and thats all that matters 🙂

      thank you
      love Samantha xoxox

  206. Blake 4 years ago

    This is a better link….its not really about the girl scouts to be my point im trying to make,the first half of it is tho…

    http://www.inquisitr.com/154249/7-year-old-boy-wants-to-be-a-girl-scout/

  207. Blake 4 years ago

    To Samantha,
    Just start out first wearing just a skirt,nothing else but a tank top or a regular shirt of what you would normally wear..then take it from there in stages

    • Samantha 4 years ago

      To Blake

      yeaa i will except im not going to start off with a skrit, im going to start off with some girls skinny jeans and then maybe after tht ill do a shirt as well and then my high heels and then off from there :)i mean when i first started out at all i started off wearing a thong actually and now im trying to wear my skinnies out in public and after that then the skirt and tops and more 🙂

  208. Blake 4 years ago

    Samantha,
    If you like thongs,which i do to,i get mine custom made so a guy has enuff material in the front to hold yer “stuff”…..here is where i get mine made http://www.swicthongs.com …any colour any style and so on,check it out you will like them.Val does a fantastic job on making thongs for guys.When i was wearing jeans,i only wore Levis 518 super stretch,they are snug on the butt makes the butt look nice,or Hydrolic jeans,both are girls..

    • Samantha 4 years ago

      Blake

      alright i will have to check that out 🙂 again i thank you from the deepest part of my heart for replying to my first message, cause at first i thought that my desiers and what i felt right in was wrong and shameful and now im not ashamed of it and im much more happier now 🙂

  209. Blake 4 years ago

    Samantha,
    Have you ventured out in public yet with your “skinny” jeans ?
    You probably wont get any reaction to the skinny jeans.Ive worn those type of girl jeans for years,just a normal thing with me back when i was wearing pants,which i dont any more.Are you wanting to wear a bra as well ? Dont know if you have thought
    about it or not.I wear one everyday as well…

    Blake

    • John 4 years ago

      does anyone else realize how sexist it is to even call it cross dressing? you wouldnt call a girl a cross dresser for wearing a hooded sweatshirt jeans and doc martins yet a man who puts on a pair of flats is somehow different?

      its time to abandon the one sided notion of “empowerment” and the feminism itself and instead of teaching one group of children who dont know any better that they are always opressed and the other has it perfect we need to teach them logic based equality to avoid double standards…

      we need to teach that most of what we call “guy” or “girl” stuff these days was invented by corporations to make a profit and that people are mainly people… even teaching that men are inherently less emotional creates jobs in the basterdised field of modern shrinks.

      personal evidence of the lunacy is: i painted my toes and wore flip flops to a bar after fox news attacked j-crew(google it for the story)…

      a girl at the bar told me to take it off because it isn’t for boys.

      i told her to change into a dress and heals… she blew up in my face calling me a sexist pig…

      I also received a few phone numbers…by no means were all girls that crazy but this belief is way more common that most people realize…

  210. maya 4 years ago

    My boyfriend is a cd. I knew that going into it. (its how we meet, I helped him dress)Im ok with the cd and its fun to dress him up and go shoping together. I just dont understand why he likes it. He is straight hes a guys guy, but I cant help but worry in the back of my mind that he may wanna be with a guy, he says he does not have the desire to be with men. Please help ease my mind.

    • dorthy 4 years ago

      hey maya im cd but im not into guys but like guys checking me out the shopping is fun do you ever let him buy it as a guy that is fun to do you want another guy or girl in the relationship ive never talked to girls who accept it other than cam sites

    • Wade 4 years ago

      I am a very passable crossdresser, I go out shopping all the time . I love the softer side of being a woman compared to a man .I enjoy being very femine. I love the clothes and tha fashion that comes with it.

  211. Blake 4 years ago

    This is to MAYA,
    He just likes female clothes,like many guys including myself.I like to wear a bra also..just a 38 A or so,sometimes with enhancers.My opinion,i think females have a great variety and cool styling.I love all the bright colous women have..but
    Guys clothes colours are brown…blue…black…grey and so on…SO DAM BORING and ugly…There is nothing wrong with
    your b/f.And i dont really like the word Cross Dress…it sounds like a devious action or something freeky.I just wear the clothes i like to wear,not what society wants,because,they are dressing the way they do because they like it.Women can wear anything they want,why cant guys do the same ? Is equal rights and freedom only apply for a female ? Should include males also,if people say guys shouldnt then they are a
    hypocritical and sexist person.

  212. Blake 4 years ago

    To John,
    Totally agree with that……….there are many hypocrites and sexist people.I just do my thing.Live your life like you want
    to,you only get one chance to do it

  213. Blake 4 years ago

    To codename69,
    If you like the feeling you have now when you are wearing female clothes at home,once you wear them in public,(which is not a big deal for me,which i do everyday)THAT feeling you say will increase..i always tell guys this,try going to a Goodwill type of store first and just go looking at stuff…that is the best start.The people there that work there dont really care and prob wont get much of a reaction to you.When i do go there looking for a skirt,and need to get in the fitting room,they see what i have in my hand and they say “cute skirt,hope it fits you”..i then say “me to” ..They also say “i like the skirt you are wearing”….so just go with your g/f when you go out..
    The best of luck to you and other guys in the same situation..

    • Samantha 4 years ago

      To Blake

      im sorry for not replying for a while i havnt been on the computer cause i was extreamly sick 🙁 but before i got sick i did venture out in public and it was an awesome feeling and i got alot of compliments on my legs 🙂 witch made me feel good and then i went out and baught a pair of leggings that i now am in love with and well im trying to get out more and more and i thank you so much for your help and advise when i first posted my first comment 🙂 it helpped alot to know there is someone else out there who understands these feelings i have 🙂

  214. Blake 4 years ago

    To Samantha,
    Do you wear a skirt with out leggin’s ? If you do,then shave
    your legs.I do,and have for many years anyways.I looks better in my opinion when wearing a skirt.Get a 4 blade razor.Noxema makes some good ones.About the leggin’s,once again in my opinion,leggin’s are the most comfortable and warm item for the legs.Ive worn them many times without wearing a skirt or a pair of shorts.Yea i know,i know what your thinking,what about the bulge in front,when not wearing a skirt or shorts ?
    I say “yea,and” ? Some people say “eww”….and Like we all want to see the camel toe on a female ????? No disrespect to women that do get that…And yes,i love women very much.I wear my leggin’s them around the house like guys wear sweats.So was wondering if you wear a bra or thought about it ?

    • Samantha 4 years ago

      To Blake

      yess i do like to wear a bra mostly tho i wear it under my normal cloths, and no not out in public yet but i do wear the skirt an leggings around the house and omg they are soooo replaxing, i now understand why you love them so much they are just soo comphy and i do totally agree some women when they wear tight yoga pants or leggings only they get that cammel toe in the front and act like its not a big deal but if a guy has any type of bludge then everyone talks about it,….. unfair and kinda bullshit in my openion, and well blake i have become more and more comfortable with myself and my crossdressing and i have really stopped careing what other people say or think cause its not them living my life its me and im going to do what i want NOT what society wants me to do

  215. Blake 4 years ago

    To Samantha,
    Glad i could help ya find your new self.Ive always liked girl clothes as far back as my memory can go.I have always felt comfortable in wearing them.Its a normal thing for me.But one thing i dont like is when people use the term “crossdress” to me it sounds messed up in the head.The way we use the word crossdress now,has a different meaning now then it did years ago..I just say,i dress the way i do to be comfortable.

  216. taylor 4 years ago

    if you were open and honest from the day I fell in love with you, then maybe I could forgive all the lying and hiding. All the effort you put into crossdressing for 10yrs, and never once telling me, you must of never trusted me, and I think your the one thats not so open minded!

  217. Blake 4 years ago

    To Taylor,
    Who was that message you wrote meant for ? Just curious

  218. Blake 4 years ago

    Here is something i will share with ya all.I went looking for skirts the other day and i found this green pleated skirt.Its a
    military green…kind of boring really.So what i did is find some good original patches of various military uniform patches. I Sewed them onto the skirt,so now it looks totally cool now.I wore it to my work and everybody liked it.Even the guys…It changed the whole feel/look about the skirt.Mostly i make a double hanging chrome or gold waist chain that clips onto the skirt.You can get these light weight chains at any fabric store.
    Just another way of being creative…just a thought to all..

  219. darlean steak 4 years ago

    Why do people worry about what others think say stare at someone who wants to dress how they feel, i dress in female lingerie including bras pettycoat panties that fit all round skirts tee’s shorts and oddly a dress, a nighty to bed or night shirt with thin straps, my wife buys for me and i buy for her, i dont see a problem asking a shop assisstant for a little help as most female assisstants help guys with purchacing, men have had to accept women in shirts pants and heavey work boots and be treated as one of the her workmates, just the feel of wearing soft femine lingerie and clothing is not a turn on or something i suggest to masterbate over, it dont turn my wife on and surly the stains wouldnt be appropiate turn on eathier, crossdressing is a question why do men do it, well why do women dress manly? i dont get turned on with women in guys clothes and you dont hear of women masterbating in mens clothing, so why do men do it, they are not crossdressers but wally wankers, there is a differance, when im in female clothing i do house work washing folding dishs and other things, i sometimes go into town dressed, but i dont get out of the car as people really stare me down, i have been called nasty dirty names but i shrug it off and ask why you worry it cost you nothing, i was falsed to wear girly clothes when i was a young boy by my grandparents as petty coated disaplin they say, well it stayed with me and even mum would give me some girly clothes on days when no-one was home to wear, panty with rows of lace trainer bra little skirt that showed my panty and blouse that done up at the back, mum liked doing this and it was fun, so the real question is, WHY IS ANYONE WORRIED ABOUT OTHERS DRESSING IN FEMMINE OR MANLY, im not gay or bisexual but just want to be who i am not what others want me to be, oh yes crossdressers and transgender are harmless and protected in a court of law and are treated equaly as others, crossdressers transgender people stick mostly to them selfs and dont go out to harm others like straight people, ladies, if its good enough for you’s to wear males clothing and not for males to wear femmine, well that is descrimative and your not worth knowing, but another thing is to stop men closet dressing is to be up front and ask them are they wearing female clothing, if so suggest that you both agree to certain things and both buy together at the worst of it getting home and dont fit, well try a change room as assisstants do help in a shop, dont be shy as some females love dressing men in female clothes, this gives them an idea of what males sizes are in femm sizing, they help, MY THEIRY IS DRESS TO YOU DROP HOW YOU WANT THE WORLD IS EQUALY ROUND,LOL, go guys let your hair down and be what you wanna be as there is understanding people who care and the ones who dont are not a meant to be, thankyou and i hope this helps people understand a tag is a tag and not something you talk to

  220. Blake 4 years ago

    Hello everyone,
    This is sorta a follow up to what Darlean was saying,which i agree with you Darlean..I was cruzin around on the net and i
    ran into as site like this one and the main question was this
    “SHOULD BOYS BE ALLOWED TO WEAR SKIRTS ?” I say,Here’s a question for a topic of discussion..”SHOULD GIRLS BE ALLOWED TO WEAR PANTS” ?….Say what ?? Yes i know….,arent both of these questions totally comical ? I thought we had a equal rights movement years ago ? Hum…..Rights for who ? Were males included in this ? If so,by using this logic,that “women are equal to men”.,then “men are equal to women”.. *females wear alot of guy stuff already),,so then men should be able to wear clothes that females wear..and not be called names or pionted at and etc…RIGHT ? But why is that ?? When we see a girl wearing guy clothes,we say things like this >, “cute” or shes a “tomboy” ,but none of those type of phrases are for men ? I think that it should be a faiplay of 50/50 for both sides…So guys,wear what YOU want and like,,,,so dont worry able what people say or think.Your dressing for YOU and not THEM….Just the other day i was in line at the store,i said hello to the cashier,she the same.Then the cashier said “Oh wow,i see your wearing a kilt”
    I then said to her,”its not a kilt,its a skirt,i just put a chain loop on it to each pleat”..she then said “Oh that is really neat ” ! I told her that i only wear pleated skirts.
    ..no pants.She was excited and thought it was neat that i do.
    Again, not that really a big deal for a guy top wear a
    skirt.I dont give it much thought really.Its like…okay
    I’d would rather wear a skirt than jeans/pants.

  221. Charlene 4 years ago

    Why I do it? 1. Because its fun 2. Because its stress relief for me 3. Because I have a feminine part of my persona and I wish to express it.

  222. Blake 4 years ago

    To me,when people say “cross dress”,it sounds like the person is devious and is a perverted sick act…but only females can wear mens clothes and not get called a cross dresser ? Why is that ? Unfair and sexist and a hypocrite i say.And i will continue to wear my skirts..

    • Samantha 4 years ago

      To Blake

      Hello Blake yess i am happy and i have went out and baught myself some brand new cloths 🙂 such as like leggings and such stuff like that and i was nervious at first but i over came that and did it an im soo glad i did and here blake here is my e-mail adress and this goes to everyone who reads this if you ever want to talk about this kind of stuff or anything or ever want any advise just first send me a e-mail saying who you are and your e-mail adress so i know to add you and i will and we can talk because i find that a much easier way to talk then to keep posting comments on here 🙂 and my e-mail is alex_detcheverry1994@hotmail.com

    • Moddle 4 years ago

      I Have searched my own reasons for cross-dressing.
      Only mine, as Vanessa says, reasons are complicated.
      I don’t feel that mine is.
      As an older man, I feel a bit sexy in satin or lace.(Takes a special thing these days.)
      Thing is, almost all my days are spent in women’s clothing, even outside, and the feeling persists.
      And, I feel undressed without lipstick brightening this old mug.
      As a youngster I always wore ‘different’ colorful men’s clothing,I think my love of looking ladylike is just an improvement on that.
      Perhaps, for different, read perverted or devious.
      in THEIR minds, not our !

      Cheers, keep up looking ‘different’

  223. Blake 4 years ago

    Hello Samantha……Whats this going, and hows the new life going for ya ?

    Blake

  224. Beth 4 years ago

    I recently started seeing a 37 yr old man who has this same fetish. I am very open minded about it. We have only been seeing each other about a month. He told me early on that he liked woman’s panties. Then he wanted to try on my teddies. I supported him. I made it a comfortable environment for him to express himself, as I would want someone to do for me. I have even went out and bought him silky woman’s thongs and a baby doll teddy. He like that he is willing to share his “secret” with me. Funny how so many men comment on wishing they had a woman who could understand. he has one but doesn’t want to “commit”

  225. Blake 4 years ago

    To Beth,
    Yes, you do sound like a very open and cool lady.The guy you are seeing is very lucky to have someone like you in his life.For me,
    its regular part of my life wearing what i do.Just seems normal, but then again,who is to say whats normal.Beth,I wear a skirt everyday,to work and when im about town.Its just what i wear.
    Pants or jeans for me is a thing of the past…Good luck to the Both of you Beth…….

    Blake

  226. james 4 years ago

    hi i started to crossdress i like it so much alot of people think it is wrong to crossdress but it is alright i started when i was 12 i wear everything and the time of the month stuff also i feel more better when i crossdress i am 15 now i wear female pants skirts socks bra’s t-shirts

  227. Blake 4 years ago

    To James
    I couldn’t agree with you more…I feel the same as what you said.I wonder that is for guys that when they wear female clothes,they feel,mentally different or happier,or more like themselves ? When i wear a bra,i feel different,i love the feeling of it.Cant explain why either,i just do.One of my female
    friend found out i wear a bra,I talked to her about it,.i said to her “does that freak you out that i wear a bra ? She said “no” not really.And she also said,”wear one if that makes you feel good and i have no problem with you wearing a bra”.And that applies to any other garment….

  228. Samantha 4 years ago

    oh and one last thing to my earlier comment about my e-mail put the subject of your e-mail you send me as why do men crossdress so i know to open it thank you all 🙂

  229. Eric 4 years ago

    I am a 18 year old guy whom has a extream need to dress like a woman. I love dressing in wemens clothing and puting an makeup. I have been secretly ben doing this for as long as I can remember, but I’m afraid to let it show in public. I am deathly afaid my parents would not accept it and also the rest of my family. I have a couple of friends that I have dressed up in frount of and they are female and they loved it. I wish everyone was like that. I need someones help with figuring this out.

  230. Blake 4 years ago

    To Eric,
    There is nothing to figure out.You like wearing womens clothing
    like alot of us guys like do.I only wear womens clothes.They are not the flowery kind.Solid colours,and pleated skirts.If you like wearing them,just do it.I do.When i go to work i am in a skirt.The girls at work tell me that they like seeing me in a skirt,it nice for a change.As we all know,for a guy to wear womens clothing has nothing to do with his sexual preference. Just seems like a normal thing for me.I dont wear pants but maybe once a month at most.When i go into a store,the sales person tells me,before i can ask,she tells me,”We just got in some new skirts”.I really dont find it being a issue for me.Just be you….

    Blake

    • Tammy 4 years ago

      Why would you want too? First of all He is your best friend. Why not use this in your favor. Maybe he wants to be the new girl on the block. When you were younger you and your Girl friends did a lot together. Now you have a mate that wants to move into that role. Let him dress let him be your girl friend help him. He may not only be your Husband but he could be you best girl friend too. So you win all around.
      Plus I can dress in a skirt a bra and panties but I’m still a man. Just because he dresses doesent mean he doesent love you he just wants to be closer to you and your femmie world .

    • Eric 4 years ago

      Thank you blakei love how open people are on this website. But I really injoy my familys company, they are nice people but they are all “gay” haters and seeing me in womens clothing would enrage them. I beleave it is compleatly one sided of them but what can I do. This summer when I get out of high school I plan on trying to let it show more but I have to have a backup plan for if I get kicked out. I only make min wage in MI and I can afford to live on my own with that. I tink my mother could be understandng of it but her one sided husband (my step dad) probbly won’t accept it in his house. If some one can guide me though this I would be greatly happy

      • Eric 4 years ago

        I’ve. Finally decided that I don’t care what others think so I did somthing that I’ve always wanted to do but never had the curage to do it, I dyed my hair hot pink and its awesome.

  231. Blake 4 years ago

    To Eric,
    Thats cool Eric ! Like the Disney channel tells kids “JUST BE YOU”…and you are…(not meaning that your a kid,just being you).And i am also,as we should all be….

    Blake

    • Tammy 4 years ago

      If you find the ancer please let us know. I’m 62 and I crossdress and I enjoy it I do it in my own home and I just dressup no makeup No wigs I just dress.
      Now my first wife cought me and I told her I would quit well I still wanted to dressup. So every once in a while I would do it behind her back. It is something I need. think it is something We men need to get away from are dull life.
      Now I’m remarried and I told my wife about what I do. She isen’t aginst it if I don’t turn gay or want a sex change. I just like to relax with my skirts on and blouse panties and bra’s. I do it to satisfy me I’m not out there trying to be what I’m not.

  232. Tammy 4 years ago

    Blake

    I’m 62 years old. Iv’e been dressing all my life. I was married to my first wife for 34 years and I still know I’m a man and I try not to be anything diffrent I still like to dress in womens clothes it relaxes me and i try not to be something I’m not. I’m still a man and I take good care of my wife . Yes she knows I dress and she knows it is just clothes and I feel relaxed with them on . So the clothes don’t make you a man or a woman . It just make some men feel better.

    Blake yes I do ware a bra under my work clothes and panties to some times. They just feel better and if you feel better you work better. I don’t see where it doesn’t me a man . I just don’t feel like competing with weman.

    Tammy

  233. todd 4 years ago

    i have read all the posts here…. because i came here looking for my answer on what made me like to wear all clothing i am a true man i love women and have no desire to be with a man firt off so i never understood why for many years i enjoyed a nice skirt or dress and nice high heels…. i dont know if this started because of me or someone else which has bothered me for many years … both my sisters were molested by a non blood uncle and strange thing is my first memory is of wearing my aunts night gown and her bra and i remember it being sexual for me i would get off as a young child in silky clothing…. i have no memory of being molested by my uncle but have always wondered if thats how this all started for me…
    i am 44 now and i think i started wearing womens clothing around 8 or so.. my S/O who is a 43 yr old woman and has been with me for 18 yrs has allowed me to wear skirts and dresses for much of the time we have been together. she has bought things for me when out shopping alone or together she has also done makeup on me on a few ocasions. she suprised me one day with a wig and asked me to have sex with her looking like a woman which was very different… i had sugery on 1 of my legs a year ago and they shaved my leg she and i both found the feel of it so different that she sujested i keep my legs shaved which i have done now for about 6 months. we keep it to us only .. i dont go out in a dress or skirts i dont wear undies or anything like that outside of my house, i dont because well as we all know its just not right in the eyes of people for a man to wear these things… which deep inside me i wish i could wear w/e i want when ever i want and not be put down for it….
    i do not consider what i do as crossdressing its just clothing and shoes…a good dress or skirt is so comfortable … im sitting here now in a nice black dress with 5″ heels on its hot out but as soon as i took off my pants after work and showered and put the dress on i felt so relaxed and much cooler i started cleaning around the house ( which for some strange reason if do more when in a dress or skirt).
    but i guess to answer why do men crossdress for me its many reasons i have read on here i do it to relax i do it for the feel of clothing i do it because the clothing looks so much better than what i can wear everyday i do it to escape who i am and what the world around me expects me to do everyday no preasures when im not who i am i do it at times for the sexual excitement me and my other 1/2 get out of it i do it because the clothing fits so much better and feels soft and makes me feel sexy and im sure if i think about it some more i will find many reasons more…. heres an example of clothing fitting … womens jeans… the lowest rise .. i think like 7″ rise is the lowest we have found so far…. put a pair on and see how it sits below the waist and then take a long drive… bet you dont have to unbutton your pants cuz the jeans are cutting into your gut (no im not over weight im 5’9″ 150lbs) i love the low rise jeans and am happy i can wear them w/o people knowing im wearing something that should be worn by women …
    anyway thanks for this site and thanks for helping me understand im not alone and im not a total freak.. and just because i wear what i want does not make me anything other than a man who enjoys all clothing just as a woman can

    • Samantha 4 years ago

      To Todd:

      I completely agree with your comment there todd see i am a 17 year old boy and i have been dressing since i was around the same age im pretty sure and i have always felt as a freak and a wierd o so i never told anyone or never would wear anything noticable or anything but now i have came on here and seen all the amazing and wounderful people on here and now i have came to terms with who i am and i am proud of it and i have now told a few people and am now trying to venture out in public dressed see i love the high heel stellitoes and the leggings and skrits and even bras and i feel soo much happier and more comfterable (i cant spell) with myself and i hope that one day that in the publics eyes that we will be accepted for who we are and how we like to dress 🙂

      • todd 4 years ago

        i still after so many years am not sure if i have come to terms with this…. as i said above i have kept my legs shaved now for about a year for many reasons…. and for the first time my girlfriend of 18 yrs said to me when i was in shorts at the time wanna go tanning i said yeah let me change she said just go in your shorts i said umm my legs LOL she says who cares so i went but i felt as if every1 was staring at me and sayn things behind my back … im sure no 1 even noticed but still….. as for wearing clothing outside the house I DO NOT have the guts as many of you do.. only wish i could wear what i whant when i want w/o people judging me thinnking i am gay or w/e but for you all who can do it gratz to you

  234. Blake 4 years ago

    Hi Tammy,
    Im totally with you on your comment.You have a great wife.
    As i have mentioned before,I do like wearing a bra and a
    skirt everyday as as well,to work and when im not at work.
    It does change the state of mind when a guy wears girl/women clothes.At least it does for me and about 90 persent of the
    guys i have talked to about it.I have about 12 skirts.They
    are all pleated.The favorite ones are the plaid pleated.
    They are about 2 to 3 inches above the knee.I do wear some
    make up.Liquid liner and some eye shadow…Im not trying to pass as a female,because i dont have female features,but i
    do get good comments on my make up….

    RTSG (Rock The Skirts Guys)

    Blake

  235. John 4 years ago

    Hello, I have on several occations dressed in full and am quite passable. I wear bras (38B), panties, and pantyhose daily only because I like the way they feel and they are really comfortable. I do not do it for sexual purposes or to look like a woman, I do it for comfort.

  236. adam 4 years ago

    I am a 54 year old married man and I have had the urge to wear womens lingerie for quite some time, a few years. I have recently seen more and more sites like this where it is openly discussed but I have never met anyone with whom I can have a one to one conversation on this matter. I live in London and one would think there are many venues, clubs or forums but if so I don’t know them.
    Can anyone advise?

  237. Blake 4 years ago

    Adam,if you have that urge,just do it.If you are happy doing what yer doing,then dont stop.And that applies to me to.