Girl friends and wives want to know.
Why do men cross dress?
Why does my husband cross dress?
How can I make him stop cross dressing?
The unfortunate truth, is that there is no simple, one line answer to these questions. If there were, you probably wouldn’t be reading this article, and the debates on this topic would be silent.
In my personal experience, the fascination with woman’s clothes started when I was very young. I must have been about four years old, and I remember going to great lengths to procure and then wear my mom’s nightie. My most vivid memory is as a teenager, nervously buying a pair of pantyhose from a local supermarket and then wearing them home under my pants.
I felt (and still feel) a need to wear woman’s clothes, and I can’t quite explain where it comes from. The media like to think of cross dressing as a sexual perversion, and so naturally they see the desire to cross dress and purely for sexual gratification. The problem with this theory is that when I (and many others) first felt the desire to cross dress I didn’t know what sex was.
Many cross dressers I’ve asked describe the need as ‘feeling more comfortable wearing woman’s clothes’. This is sometimes (but not always) coupled with the desire to be seen as a woman. To not just dress like a woman, but behave like one as well, to wear make-up and otherwise pass as a woman. There are others who cross dress for sexual excitement. The need to cross dress is indeed a spectrum.
That still doesn’t answer the question why do men cross dress?
Marcy proposes a few interesting answers to this questions.
One argument is that transvestism of cross-dressing is a way of offering a challenge to society’s preconceptions about gender. Some men cross-dress because they are unhappy at being men. Others didn’t mind the male state, but also like to put on women’s clothes occasionally. Some men cross-dress simply to make a passing social or fashion statement, and some because they have emotional needs that can only be met by the comfort that wearing women’s clothes gives them.
Yet the true reason why men cross dress remains somewhat of a mystery. It is intensely personal, often confusing and sometimes guilt ridden. I’m hopeful that as society grows more tolerant of diverse gender expression we will see more cross dressers and transgendered stepping forward to share their stories. Without the need to justify their behavior, and no longer shamed by society perhaps we will be better able to answer this baffling question.
Comment and let me know, I would love to hear- why do you cross dress?
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Thanks Victoria for the tip…………..
I consider myself a CD but I don’t try to look like a woman while doing it I just put on women’s nightgowns to walk around the house in because I find it comfortable and very free and loose material. I love wearing women’s panties with these nightgowns. I live alone so I never have to worry about getting caught or coming out to someone. Outside of this I’m a man’s man but I’ve come to accept what I do and I no longer try to keep myself from acting on it.
I am a woman and a close male friend of mine has just come out to me as a CD. I am having trouble accepting him as the same him. He has tried to explain the CD to me and your response on this site seemed to be the closest to his perspective for me, and so if I asked you for some help understanding this behavior or at least the direction I should be looking I could use the help. He carries on about how he loves the slik and satin and how vital this part of him truly… Read more »
It’s very complicated. You need to talk more to your mate but its about feeling femanim even if just for a short while. It’s a form of escapism from the male roles we have to play during our normal times. Men’s clothing is rather drab compared to women’s clothing. I love to feel pretty and loved by my wife, who known for 10 years. Yes there is a sexual element to it but its something your friend can’t change or needs to change. Embrace him and it, I bet it took a lot of nerve to tell you, go shopping… Read more »
Jenny: I have to say you are right on. My girlfriend is so into me as a woman and that makes it so great for both of us. She actually understands the tingly feeling I get when I am dressed up. I look in her eyes and I see love, acceptance and excitement. Could it be any greater than that. We have not taken this out in oublic full force yet, but we are both ready. I am not scared because I know she will be there with me. That’s what’s important. It’s all about understanding
So, why do women question why men want to dress in women’s clothes, when they do the same all the time? I was in a department store just a few days ago, and on the rack were womens short shorts, that were styled EXACTLY as men’s suit pants, except for the pockets being made a little less deep. I was in the mall the other day and a young woman, 20ish, was wearing a LARGE chronograph watch; exactly the type that I always liked but just never got around to getting one. I asked her if that was a trend… Read more »
To Jenny
I agree with you on just about all you said,but,for me,its not really about the sexual side,i dress the way i do because i feel “right" or the way it should be for me.And plus,its fun to dress girly.That’s why girls like to shop because there are sooooooo many cute outfits that girls can come up with and such a choice of styles(as i do).Guys dont understand that part of it.I only wear female clothes,i do get alot of comments from girls,98% positive.
I’m grateful that there’s a forum for this discussion. I love my boyfriend dearly and I suspect he is a cross dresser. Does anybody have any thoughts on sexual preferences common to men who CD? Specifically oral preferences, I realize it’s likely that it differs among individuals, just curious as my bf loves receiving but after two years has yet to reciprocate.
Rebecca:
My girlfriend loves me being dressed up as a hot woman…it turns her on. She loves me giving…looking down and fantasizing about a woman. I think she has had thoughts of what it would be like with another woman, and now I can come close to fulfilling that for her. We always reciprocate!
Rebecca i dont think that you can say there is a sexual preference and label it with a person who likes to wear a skirt( i hate being called a crossdresser)so people just dont like to do oral. my wife and i enjoy sex together every which way it can be done.
Rebecca,
95% of guys that wear womens clothes are straight.Most gay guys will not wear any item of female,but there are the exceptions.What
a guy wears does not mean he is gay,thats what most people think
of guys that do.I get more POSITIVE compliments wearing female clothes than i did when i WAS wearing guy clothing
Hi,my boyfriend told me he is a CD.He says he likes to put on women’s clothes for sexual pleasure. This is very new to me and i am very confused. He says he is straight and he loves me and finds me attractive. I am quite attractive and feminine women and in my past I had feeling that all the men were with me mostly because of physical attractiveness and didn’t bother to know my personality. But in this relationship this is very different for me and i don’t know what to think. I am quite used to the idea… Read more »
“a girlfriend", and Rebecca C., I have always loved the aspect of CD’ing, and I am 100% heterosexual. I really don’t think I could “pass", and don’t know if I have the guts to try. My wife suspects, and for now all she knows is that I have an enormous collection of panties with some other shape wear, tights, and such things like that. As for oral preferences, we don’t usually do oral, but that’s just us. I like giving ok, but after years of marriage, we don’t do that often. As far as you girl’s concern of sexual orientation,… Read more »
A girlfriend: To answer you question, he will ALWAYS see an attractive woman in you. Actually crossdressing he will notice you even more…your shoes, your earrings, how you look in a dress. He will notice you more because he enjoys wearing the same things you do. Crossdressing gives us a “tingly" feeling…something impossible to explain. It is exciting and sexually stimulating. My wife loves it because we have sex more often that ever before. She sees me as a beautiful woman and a hansome man. I think if you shop with him, try on heels with him, really get into… Read more »
Thank you Victoria! I need to listen to CDs to understand better what will be my life like as a woman. We talk about it every night coz he is afraid that i will not be able to take it.He knows that being able to fully satisfy his needs is important for me as for him to satisfy me.And i am worried that when crossdressed he will not want me but will desire himself. I just want to understand when cross-dressing the excitement comes from me liking him or him liking himself? This is what my head is occupied with.… Read more »
I totally agree with Victoria said…….Very hard to explain,and hard to explain it to myself,but i like it
To Gerald,
I love everything you said.Ive said that for years.Try looking for womens LEVI’S 518 “super low stretch". They dont sit low as you think.They will form to your butt really good.When i was wearing girl jeans,(I haven’t worn pants in yrs)but i would wear them alot,and i swear to them.Go to a “GOODWILL" or that type of store.They have them.And fit better than new ! ………
“a girlfriend", this is all as I understand things: the cd,tv,tg spectrum is confusing. you need to first have your guy explain which category he fits into. if it is simply CD/TV for fun, then you shouldn’t worry. I think the TG category is the one to watch out for, because, as I understand it, TG people may feel the need to transition to female. CD’s only want to play, and TV want to play, but may also want to be more public. my desires are in the cd/tv range. I’m afraid i only ever only look like a man… Read more »