As a man who enjoys crossdressing on a regular basis, I can easily say I made the same mistake that most other men do. Not telling our SOs. We grow up knowing that we like women’s clothing. Everyone likes different aspects of it and everyone has different reasons as to why. But we also grew up in an era where this was highly unacceptable and kids got picked on for it, even if looking feminine was unintentional, such as wearing tight pants because we could not afford new ones or a “girly” color as part of our outfit. The crossdressers of my age saw that, or were a victim of it, and made sure they kept that aspect of their life hidden. Even with people I love very much, I could not be open. I didn’t tell my mom, my friends; I did not tell my SO, who I ended up marrying and with whom I shared many other secrets. By that time, I was “built” to keep my crossdressing hidden. Many times I’d try to put it away and think “it’s just a phase.” But the reality is it’s not a phase; it’s a permanent part of my life. It’s something I enjoy doing. I can’t pinpoint why I like it, but the point is, it’s there.

But this is why I hid it. It’s not that I didn’t trust my SO, even though that is what it seems like. Society brought us up that way in the 20th century. Nowadays, in my kids’ era, crossdressing is pretty acceptable among the right group of people. Finding resources is easier due to the internet, and people are not as closeted as they once were. More people find it acceptable as society, today in the 21st century, mostly allows people to be who they want to be. I see guys wearing sports bras at the amusement park, and guys with beards wearing makeup as a style, which I myself have tried and like. Tight clothing has become a thing of the past as being a women’s style only. I was recently able to buy a pair of stretchy tight pants at the store, in the men’s section. Sometimes I wish I had been born about 20 years later because these things are more acceptable now. It would have been a lot easier to communicate it to my SO, but then if I was born 20 years later I would not have met the woman I am so dearly in love with and will hopefully live the rest of my life. She makes me happy and I cannot see a future without her.

Eventually, my SO became aware of my crossdressing and out of respect for her, I now have my own clothing and my own makeup. I do not dress in front of her, as she is not yet ready to see me. A couple years into it, and she is still processing. I felt it was very important to let her know that betrayal of trust is the last thing I wanted. I have no intention of leaving. Just because I like dressing as a woman does not mean I like men. I am very much attracted to women. I enjoy being a guy, and taking on the role of the protector and the strong father, even though I might be wearing a pair of panties underneath it all or dressed in full role reversal in the bedroom.

And on a late night walk, I pity the fool who thinks he is going to harass a couple ladies walking together.

En Femme Style

More Articles by Cindy Carpendar

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    Alice' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
    Alice
    5 years ago

    Hi Cindy, Thank you for the well articulated article. You have described almost 100% of me. Like you, I have a very caring significant other who shares many of my personal value and been very supportive to me when we experienced challenges in our life, except my gender preference. She does NOT believe in gender dysphoria (although she is a Psychiatric Nurse by training) and is openly against crossdressing. She caught me once wearing a bra. Immediately, she shamed me! I shared my desire with her. Immediately I sensed her disapproval, hurt and disappointment. I am afraid I will only… Read more »

    Stef Smith
    Duchess
    Active Member
    5 years ago
    Reply to  Alice

    Dont be ashamed
    You are jyst a person who likes diing somethhing society doesn’t like
    In the end clothing does not define you
    You are still you with or without the clothes
    Accept yourself for who you are
    Love You theres only one of you!

    Terri
    Duchess
    Active Member
    5 years ago
    Reply to  Stef Smith

    Thank you for posting your story. My wife has known close to 40 yrs of my dressing. She has only seen a pic of me dressed once. I hang some of my female clothes in our closet. I know she will never accept it. But she is a good wife, mother and I will always love her. But I know she Will never understand or accept Terri.

    Alice' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
    Alice
    5 years ago
    Reply to  Stef Smith

    Thank you Stef.

    Charissa
    Lady
    Member
    5 years ago
    Reply to  Stef Smith

    I can’t agree more.

    Alice' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
    Alice
    5 years ago

    Hi Cindy, I hope so too! Thank you for your words of encouragement.

    Stef Smith
    Duchess
    Active Member
    5 years ago

    Great comments
    I m in your category if I may use that word
    I enjoy crossdressing but love my make role as well. Andvlets face it once you take on a persona its hard to switch it
    If you start out dressing a little femme and meet someone they already know and somewhat accept it so its easier to tell them
    I love my male self and role and I m only attracted to females
    So I understand you completely

    Sharri Roberts
    Lady
    5 years ago

    Yes Donald Trump is trying to turn back the clock 50 years and destroy all of the advancements er have made. Its a very sad state of affairs that a president could be so closed minded and unwilling to live and let live.
    Sharri

    Christina
    Christina
    5 years ago

    That’s pretty awesome. Just saying…

    Rose3400 Garden
    Rose3400 Garden
    5 years ago

    Nice share..
    thank you

    Jessica King
    Jessica King
    5 years ago

    It encourage ing too read its alot what ive been going thru its been a big secreat over my head and i thought it mean something was wrong cause not gay just enjoy and acting as woman but due to family and loss of my babys mom for not understanding it made me push it back again and hiding it still due to that its so hard for fear of judgement

    Charissa
    Lady
    Member
    5 years ago

    I’m a cis man I think. I have mixed feelings internally but am masculine on the outside. I love fine things and coordinating clothes and noticing detail in so many things.
    My testing results scored 90% fem. but my world would be shaken if I revealed my true interests and desires. I don’t know why we need to consider others when it’s our lives.

    Stef Smith
    Duchess
    Active Member
    5 years ago
    Reply to  Charissa

    I hear you
    We consider others because we love them and wish to do them no harm
    It is a delicate balancing act to be true to self and protect our loved ones
    And then we have to decide if the ABSOLUTE truth is really ABSOLUTELY the best thing to do

    Charissa
    Lady
    Member
    5 years ago
    Reply to  Stef Smith

    Thank you Stef. I wish it were easier to chat and meet and talk in person.

    Christie Deville
    Lady
    Active Member
    5 years ago

    thank you for sharing

    Erika Jiame Jiame
    Lady
    Member
    5 years ago

    Being in Law Enforcement I really had to keep my dressing private. I loathed this fact.

    Erika Jiame Jiame
    Lady
    Member
    5 years ago

    OMG! My secret was %100 job related. At 22 my life took me into Law Enforcement. I do feel your pain as it wasn’t feminine men friendly.

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