There was a recent weekend where I had some things to get done.  With Christmas coming there is the outside decorations that need to go up.  My wife was out and about but my daughter was home.  Candy could not come out to play.  However, I have been wearing my thong panties under my clothes for a little while now.  If I feel I may be caught I don’t wear them.  Since my wife and I haven’t been intimate in a very long time, I worry less and less. Wearing something of Candy’s always makes me feel she is close.  I also think a lot more like her.

I spent the day on Saturday cleaning the inside of the house as I had been away for the past few weekends and could not get it done.  I am the “head maid” of the house as my wife gets quite angry when she cleans so I direct her to clean her room or her office area.  She still gets angry, but she can’t get angry at anyone but herself.  The carpets were vacuumed, the laminate floors were mopped and clean again, the surfaces were dusted and everything looked good again.  I have a fair bit of pride in keeping my house as clean as it can be. This is a little bit of Candy’s thinking getting to be out and about. I even got the new spot for the Christmas tree ready.  On Sunday, I wanted to tackle the outside decorating.  That’s when I was struck down.

Not physically, but mentally.  I stood in front of my closet looking at which t-shirt to throw on with my jeans and there was absolutely nothing I wanted to wear.  Shirts I have worn a hundred times were just awful to me.  My only thoughts were “Why can’t I just put on a dress?”.  All I wanted to do was put on some warm leggings, winter boots with little heels, a dress and jacket and head outside and do exactly what I was going to do anyhow.  I thought to myself “Who would notice?”  “Who would care?”.  Why is what we wear so gender specific?  There are many ladies on this site who are gender fluid enough that it wouldn’t attract too many eyes or who live as their feminine selves (you GO girls!) all the time.  But here in my suburban neighborhood, where most of us know our neighbors through a fence or a casual wave at the beginning or end of the day as we pull our cars to or from our driveways, people are nosey.  They know who sort of lives where and how they generally behave, but they don’t really know them.  It is these people who would notice a 290 lb man in a dress putting out the Christmas decorations.  They would gossip and it would end up on the community Facebook page and then I’d have some explaining to do.

Why can’t we just dress how we want to dress?  Society has formed tidy little boxes that say “Men” and “Women” and it’s full of clothes.  Gender appropriate clothes.  Anyone who picks from both is upsetting the norm (again, you GO girls!).  I am simply not androgynous enough to pass without a lot of notice.  It got me thinking that society needs a lot of changing to fully accept people as to who they are.  But I also asked myself if society is set up to accept people as they fully are?  Can society ever accept people as they fully are?  I picture a board meeting at some plumbing part manufacturing place with the CEO in his $6000 suit, the CFO in his button down blouse, pencil skirt and black heels, the head of sales in his furry cat costume and some various other iterations of outfits and personal choice.  It’s comical to a certain point, confusing to another and liberating to a third.

Of course this is judging society as a whole.  Individual results may vary.

Staring at my closet of guy clothes I also realized I want to be him even less now than ever.  I hardly have enough women’s clothes to fill this small closet, but I’d find a way of filling it over time with lovely dresses, skirts, blouses, shirts and the like to make me feel happy and confident.

Until laundry day.

Thank you girls for taking the time to read my article!

Sincerely, Candy

And now if you have a few moments, I would love for you to either leave a comment pertaining to either my article or offer up and answer to one or more questions listed below:

  • What is your wife’s acceptance level of your thrill of cross dressing?
  • How many restrictions does your wife or SO place on your ability to cross dress?
  • Have the restrictions your wife or SO imposed on you changed over the past few years?


More Articles by Candy Heels

View all articles by Candy Heels
The following two tabs change content below.

Candy Heels

I have been crossdressing in small amounts since a bi girlfriend dressed me up back when we dated. Since then I have done it on my own on rare occasions. Recently I have found myself dressing up in almost all my free time. I used to do it for sexual satisfaction, now it just feels normal. I don't know what to do or think. I have never told anyone.

Latest posts by Candy Heels (see all)

5 3 votes
Article Rating
Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Mika Malone
Active Member
1 year ago

My wife is very accepting. I’m gradually easing her into it though. The only restrictions have been that she prefers me to be completely masculine when we are intimate (no female attire or makeup). Ten years ago, when I started underdressing, she didn’t want me shaving my legs. Now that she will let me be fully female at home, I started shaving them and she hasn’t commented one way or the other. So, I think she has accepted that as part of the new package. Oh, she also doesn’t want to be out in public with me if I am… Read more »

Janice Doe
Active Member
1 year ago

My wife does not accept my dressing at all and I live deep in the closet. I had your same thoughts this morning, why can’t I just put on a dress to go to work in my home office and work that way? Unfortunately, I do not have that luxury resulting in my wearing lemme clothes only when I get the chance to. I agree that it would be nice to be able to dress anytime.

Terri Olsen
1 year ago

I sympathize with your article. Many days I have asked my wife “I just want to wear a dress today, why do I want to and why is that just so not okay?” She’s has come round to be very supportive because she can see how different i am when I’m dressed. I am a different person. I can wear gender neutral items in public with her and couldn’t pass to save my life but those jeans and cute little t-shirts still let me realize they aren’t girl clothes, they are my clothes.

Irene Hanley
Active Member
1 year ago

I too was looking at clothes in my closet the other day. I just lost 20 pounds and I had to find clothes that fit in order to help my wife with her business. Every time that I looked at a shirt I wanted a blouse. Every time I looked at pants I wanted a skirt. A day earlier I was looking online at blouses and skirts and would much rather purchase female clothes over male clothes. What drove me nuts was two days earlier I had a great time dressing up in a new dress. Like some of us… Read more »

1 year ago

Well I was a closet dresser till I told my latest gf everything from being bisexual and love to cross dress.. to be fair she was shocked at the beginning but now she buys me my panties clothes ect even buys me make up wigs and helps me dress up I can wear what I want in the house with her and she loves it .. it has brought us so close to one another xx

Cassie Jayson
Trusted Member
1 year ago

My own situation may be a little different than many, my X lives upstairs and I l live in the basement. The house is basicly unsellable because she is a hoarder and the house is getting full. Our divorce had nothing to do with CD, when I got careless and let her find out the first thing she did was to tell our 3 grown kids. I do get tired of being called names and then in the next breath she sounds almost accepting. She says she does not want to see but more than once when I was dressed… Read more »

Trisha Rave
1 year ago

Just love reading at these .

Mellissa Drake
5 months ago

I cannot tell you how many times I have uttered the phrase “Why can’t I just wear what I want”. The boxes you described are the most frustrating thing to me. It’s not fair in my mind that my wife and other women can wear jeans and a t-shirt but if I slip into a pair of leggings and a nice blouse the world is going to end. As for your questions my wife accepts the fact that I am a crossdresser to a point but I am not allowed to dress in front of her or even really bring… Read more »

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

If you don't see the captcha above please disable ad and tracking blockers and reload the page.