To my beautiful readers,
Many of you spend your day dreaming about that moment when you can throw off the shackles of your masculinity and exchange your suit and tie for a skirt and heels. Crossdressing at the end of a hard day or a week that seemed to go on forever is a welcome respite. At last you can relax. Your shoulders lift gently as the weight of responsibility rolls off, and the mask you wear each day is temporarily set aside. Your day, your evening or your weekend is spent in feminine bliss – selecting the perfect outfit, perhaps getting your hair or nails done or meeting with friends.
When Monday rolls around you grumble about the drab clothes you’re forced to wear and start another day at the office or jobsite. Your very masculine presence at work demands respect, inspires deference. Perhaps you’re the leader and manager, or the work clown everyone loves, or the hard worker everyone depends on who gets recognized by the vice president for a job well done.
Regardless of your role or your title, by virtue of working and presenting as a man you have a number of distinct advantages women will never enjoy. After living 4 years as a women I’m intimately aware of the advantages no longer afforded to me:
- Men get paid $1 for $1 worth of work. The gender pay gap is well known, where woman get (depending on your study) 75c to 85c on the dollar for the same jobs done by men.
- Men are considered to be competent until you prove otherwise. In general a woman’s ability is questioned until she shows that she is able to do the job. If you’ve ever watched ‘How I met your mother’ there is a great the episode ‘Possimpible‘ (season 4 epsiode 14) where Barney shares his video resume and helps Robin put together her own. Part way through filming her doing all sorts of crazy things, Robin remarks, “But you didn’t do a damn thing in your video, you just stood near a horse and sat on a motorcycle”. To which Barney responds, “That’s because I’m a man. You’re a woman, the assumption is that you can’t do anything”. Sometimes fiction is true.
- Men are judged on your potential, not your accomplishments. One of the reasons there are fewer women in senior leadership positions is because men are promoted faster – they are assumed to be competent, and promoted based on their assumed success in a new role.
- People listen when men speak and men are interrupted less. I’ll never forget in my first few weeks full time when I spoke in a meeting I would be constantly interrupted, and have to ask two or three times for folks to let me speak. After a while I build respect with the team, but I found that every time I switch to a new team, or met a new set of partners I had to fight to be taken seriously. One of my friends said she is often confused with being the secretary – even though she is the most senior person in the room!
I could mention other areas where men enjoy a distinct advantage in daily life – from not getting ripped off (as much) at car dealers and mechanics to the ‘pink tax‘ that pervades every grocery store to the expectation that women will do most of the housework even when they are the breadwinner. Yet I don’t think you need more examples to understand the advantages men have. I’ve found that crossdressers generally have a great empathy and respect for women. In life, in the workplace and at home you display a caring and consideration the average man doesn’t afford. I’m confident that the lovely, considerate ladies who are part of the Crossdresser Heaven community treat the ladies in their life with love and honor.
But I’m going to challenge you today – it’s not enough to just show consideration for women in your own interactions. You need to stand up for women when you’re in the workplace. If a women is mistreated, or ignored, or denied the opportunity to say something in an important meeting – stand up for her. Say something, even if it’s a quick comment like, “Jackie, you were about to make a point, please go on”. You’ll make her day, and make the workplace that much easier for her sisters who follow her.
You’re part of our sisterhood – stand with us – in heels and skirts in the mall or suit and tie in the boardroom!
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Latest posts by Vanessa Law (see all)
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