To my beautiful readers,
Many of you spend your day dreaming about that moment when you can throw off the shackles of your masculinity and exchange your suit and tie for a skirt and heels. Crossdressing at the end of a hard day or a week that seemed to go on forever is a welcome respite. At last you can relax. Your shoulders lift gently as the weight of responsibility rolls off, and the mask you wear each day is temporarily set aside. Your day, your evening or your weekend is spent in feminine bliss – selecting the perfect outfit, perhaps getting your hair or nails done or meeting with friends.
When Monday rolls around you grumble about the drab clothes you’re forced to wear and start another day at the office or jobsite. Your very masculine presence at work demands respect, inspires deference. Perhaps you’re the leader and manager, or the work clown everyone loves, or the hard worker everyone depends on who gets recognized by the vice president for a job well done.
Regardless of your role or your title, by virtue of working and presenting as a man you have a number of distinct advantages women will never enjoy. After living 4 years as a women I’m intimately aware of the advantages no longer afforded to me:
- Men get paid $1 for $1 worth of work. The gender pay gap is well known, where woman get (depending on your study) 75c to 85c on the dollar for the same jobs done by men.
- Men are considered to be competent until you prove otherwise. In general a woman’s ability is questioned until she shows that she is able to do the job. If you’ve ever watched ‘How I met your mother’ there is a great the episode ‘Possimpible‘ (season 4 epsiode 14) where Barney shares his video resume and helps Robin put together her own. Part way through filming her doing all sorts of crazy things, Robin remarks, “But you didn’t do a damn thing in your video, you just stood near a horse and sat on a motorcycle”. To which Barney responds, “That’s because I’m a man. You’re a woman, the assumption is that you can’t do anything”. Sometimes fiction is true.
- Men are judged on your potential, not your accomplishments. One of the reasons there are fewer women in senior leadership positions is because men are promoted faster – they are assumed to be competent, and promoted based on their assumed success in a new role.
- People listen when men speak and men are interrupted less. I’ll never forget in my first few weeks full time when I spoke in a meeting I would be constantly interrupted, and have to ask two or three times for folks to let me speak. After a while I build respect with the team, but I found that every time I switch to a new team, or met a new set of partners I had to fight to be taken seriously. One of my friends said she is often confused with being the secretary – even though she is the most senior person in the room!
I could mention other areas where men enjoy a distinct advantage in daily life – from not getting ripped off (as much) at car dealers and mechanics to the ‘pink tax‘ that pervades every grocery store to the expectation that women will do most of the housework even when they are the breadwinner. Yet I don’t think you need more examples to understand the advantages men have. I’ve found that crossdressers generally have a great empathy and respect for women. In life, in the workplace and at home you display a caring and consideration the average man doesn’t afford. I’m confident that the lovely, considerate ladies who are part of the Crossdresser Heaven community treat the ladies in their life with love and honor.
But I’m going to challenge you today – it’s not enough to just show consideration for women in your own interactions. You need to stand up for women when you’re in the workplace. If a women is mistreated, or ignored, or denied the opportunity to say something in an important meeting – stand up for her. Say something, even if it’s a quick comment like, “Jackie, you were about to make a point, please go on”. You’ll make her day, and make the workplace that much easier for her sisters who follow her.
You’re part of our sisterhood – stand with us – in heels and skirts in the mall or suit and tie in the boardroom!
More Articles by Vanessa Law
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Ha,I love being able to wear a bra a lot of the time. I drive truck so I’m by myself a lot,I have my size 11forms on,and drive on down the road..and yes iI do stand up for women too I do know wearing bras in summer is hot..how do you girls do that every day?? Wow
I agree, I wear lingerie under my male clothing daily.
I see. That makes sense ^^ I was just curious about it ^^. thanks for your great incite. ^^
It’s always a pleasure hon. Most women, most people in general, would rather feel the fumble of good intentions than the cold indifference of being ignored.
Thank you for trying, and thank you for trying again if it doesn’t work the first time.
I am so very glad that you made this post! Very few “males” realize how difficult it is for a woman to “make her own way” in this world..And when they do,too many times they are thought of and reffered to as “an aggressive bitch”…Not fair….
Well said Rogina. Bitch, pushy, too aggressive. Not words that men have to worryabout being labelled as.
Thank you for this. So often I read posts on sites that seem to ignore the reality that life isn’t all sweetness and light for women. And, yes, I cross dress (and use a female name for fun) but I do not care to be a woman, even in fantasy, thank you very much. I just happen to like the choices in fabrics and colors that women enjoy.
Thanks for your kind word Liz.
You sound like all it is for others its just a fantasy NO I am not ever in a fantasy its for real for me I’ll die trying to be that woman in me even my Wife of 14 1/2 years helps me Yes I am older that I can’t have the full change but I am Happy with it as well as my Wife…
Hi Angie, I don’t mean to imply that it’s just a fantasy. Only that the reality of womanhood is not something to be taken lightly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy with path, and wouldn’t trade my life as a woman for anything. But I will speak out to make the lives of woman easier and more equitable.
Best of luck in your journey Angie, you’re a brave soul walking side by side with your beloved of 14 1/2 years!
Love this article, so true. My exwife and I lived as women for 6 years, she needed sex and masculinity, so she had a lover. That was the hardest part, as He was jealous so I was in chastity and we were only allowed to be platonic. He had the key. I loved her with all of my heart, but my desire to be female was stornger than my desire to be her husband, so we did part and she married her man. I live alone mostly as a woman now.
Absolutely right! Thank you!
Another gem from you Vanessa……….I agree with you 100%. When I was in the “Management Area” of my working career…..I always insisted my girls be treated with respect, honesty, integrity and salaries/bonuses. They were my troopers and like sisters/daughters to me. I wish all women were treated as equals everywhere. Sadly, is hasn’t changed much….to-days neanderthal media moguls still promote violence. Now that I have become a sister by choice…….they better not forget or will be surprised……..I still remember and practice my SOG training, (that is Special Ops Group).