My wife and I own a small farm. She works for a government department, and I work part time locally.
Because of the nature of her work, there is much she cannot share with me. Likewise, when I have counseled others in the past, I can’t share with her what the details were about.
We both like guns. We can spend hours together shooting tin cans. But when it comes to hunting, my wife doesn’t share the same passion I do for hunting and we’ll just leave it at that.
My wife knows I cross dress. We often go for pedicures together. She agrees with me that painted nails are much better looking than natural fungal yellow. Time to time I will wear some makeup, and or fingernail polish. I often dye my hair. She has often done it for me. Recently, from her suggestion, I have been going to a hairdresser to do it. It’s a much better quality, than a DIY shop bought package. And my hair hasn’t dried out as much.
In cooler months I’ll wear tights, and pantyhose. Often under jeans. I have a collection of women’s skinny jeans, which she doesn’t mind my wearing.
That is the extent of my crossdressing with her. She knows I dress. She has washed and laundered some of my clothes. And put them away.
I’m ok with my wife’s limited involvement in my hobby… To be sure, there are times I fantasize about us shopping together for outfits. Dressing up and going out together. And dressing in front of her.
The reality is, I realize that is more of an unrealistic fantasy, than it is a reality. (At least for now.)
I don’t get involved in my wife’s work. She has hobbies, which bore me to tears. I don’t do them with her. But time to time we discuss what she is doing.
I’m ok with my wife turning her back, and going inside, when its time pull the trigger on kill day. I’m ok for her not to be involved when I go hunting. Its ok for her not to empty our compost toilet bucket for that matter. (Yes, we are hillbilly off gridders.) Its ok for that to be my job.
Can you see where I’m headed with this? I believe it’s important for any couple to have honest discussions. Its ok for us to have realistic expectations of each other. For us, flirting with others is a no no. We both fully trust, and have each other’s back in this regard. Its ok for us to have confidentiality issues, that we cannot share with each other. Most professions have the same ethic. Doctors. Police. Judges. Accountants. Lawyers. Bankers. To name a few.
My wife is ok with me not being drawn to her hobbies and interests. And I’m ok with her not wanting to go with me to a gun show.
Anyways. I ramble. I had a gob smack revelation tonight while talking to someone else. I’m ok with my wife not being into the things I do. And I’m ok that time to time ethics prevent me from sharing detailed conversations with her. And of course, she with me. Why is it, I shouldn’t be ok with her not being involved more deeply, or being ok with my dressing?
For me, that mind shift has been freeing.
What’s your thoughts and reactions about what I have shared tonight?
Is there something I have shared that you can run with?