I knew from the time I was only about five years old that something about me was different. I did not go outside and play with the other boys that lived nearby. I waited until my sisters went outside and then I would sneak into their room and play with their dolls. I was always careful to put them back the way they were when I heard my sisters coming back into the house. It was from this time that my mind started to become aware that I was in a female mode of thinking. I had to be very careful that I did not get caught. Later on, I started to take some of their clothes to my room and to put them on to see what I looked like and how it felt. When I was dressed in their clothes I felt like I belonged in this type of clothing and I was excited by this.
As I got closer to my teenage years, the feelings I had to become a female were driving me to dress more often. I checked the places where people left clothes for others and pick out some of the dresses, skirts, and tops. and I would run out to the woods nearby where I lived, put them on and walk around. It felt like relief when I was able to do this. This was the first part of the awaking of my mind that I was indeed a female and I knew then that these feelings, later on, would change my life path to try and become that female. Since then I have taken every chance I could to get into my female mode and learn more as I went along this path.
Probably my boldest time was when I decided to get fully dressed up during the winter months here and told myself that I was going to go to a local mall fully dressed as a female. I picked out a red winter sweater dress that I really enjoyed wearing with black thigh high stockings and a pair of leather boots. I got myself all made up and picked out some earrings, a necklace and a couple of rings to wear. I had this long length puffy winter down coat that I also wore. As soon as I had finished my makeup and put on my dress, jewellery and boots, I put on my wig and my coat and drove to that mall.
When I first got there I started feeling as if I had done the wrong thing. But after I sat in my car for a while and calmed down, my resolve to do this saw my confidence increase. Finally, I stepped out of the car and headed for the entrance. I walked in. I was on the second floor and first looked around to see if anyone would notice me. When they did not, I was on my way to walking the mall. I was feeling sky high as I stopped to look into the windows of the stores. I would adjust my purse and observe the way other people looked at me. Not one of them thought I was not a female and so I walked that whole mall, both floors. I then went back to my car feeling so good that I had got over the fear that I may not pass as a female.
I still need to take that final step to becoming a true woman body, mind and soul. I would welcome any advice that could help me to finish my lifelong journey to true womanhood.Tags: crossdresser success stories crossdressing in public