Girl in woods

I knew from the time I was only about five years old that something about me was different. I did not go outside and play with the other boys that lived nearby. I waited until my sisters went outside and then I would sneak into their room and play with their dolls. I was always careful to put them back the way they were when I heard my sisters coming back into the house. It was from this time that my mind started to become aware that I was in a female mode of thinking. I had to be very careful that I did not get caught. Later on, I started to take some of their clothes to my room and to put them on to see what I looked like and how it felt. When I was dressed in their clothes I felt like I belonged in this type of clothing and I was excited by this.

As I got closer to my teenage years, the feelings I had to become a female were driving me to dress more often. I checked the places where people left clothes for others and pick out some of the dresses, skirts, and tops. and I would run out to the woods nearby where I lived, put them on and walk around. It felt like relief when I was able to do this. This was the first part of the awaking of my mind that I was indeed a female and I knew then that these feelings, later on, would change my life path to try and become that female. Since then I have taken every chance I could to get into my female mode and learn more as I went along this path.

Probably my boldest time was when I decided to get fully dressed up during the winter months here and told myself that I was going to go to a local mall fully dressed as a female. I picked out a red winter sweater dress that I really enjoyed wearing with black thigh high stockings and a pair of  leather boots. I got myself all made up and picked out some earrings, a necklace and a couple of rings to wear. I had this long length puffy winter down coat that I also wore. As soon as I had finished my makeup and put on my dress, jewellery and boots, I put on my wig and my coat and drove to that mall.

When I first got there I started feeling as if I had done the wrong thing. But after I sat in my car for a while and calmed down, my resolve to do this saw my confidence increase. Finally, I stepped out of the car and headed for the entrance. I walked in. I was on the second floor and first looked around to see if anyone would notice me. When they did not, I was on my way to walking the mall. I was feeling sky high as I stopped to look into the windows of the stores. I would adjust my purse and observe the way other people looked at me. Not one of them thought I was not a female and so I walked that whole mall, both floors. I then went back to my car feeling so good that I had got over the fear that I may not pass as a female.

I still need to take that final step to becoming a true woman body, mind and soul. I would welcome any advice that could help me to finish my lifelong journey to true womanhood.

En Femme Style

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Katie H

Hi I am Katie and have known that I was her from a very young age. I have been cross dressing since that time even before I was into my teenage years. As time has gone on my need to start on the journey to become a complete woman has been pulling on me stronger all the time. Now at an older age I know I need to start that journey soon. When I can finally get the courage to finally step out and be free to be that completed woman I will rejoice with all of my new sisters. Much Love Katie H

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skippy1965 Cynthia
Ambassador
Trusted Member
7 years ago

What a great article, Katie! Overcoming that fear and venturing out for the first time fully dressed is indeed an amazing experience. IT DOES get easier as you do it more. I’ve only been out in the midst of people a few times but each time was easier than the past and I find myself craving more times out!. Please continue sharing your journey as it helps others to take that first step!
Cyn

Jessica
Jessica
7 years ago

Katie,

Thank you for sharing. Just keep on doing whatever you need to do to feel free and authentic. It sounds like you need to be yourself with other people. Be with the people who know you as Katie and can se you as the beautiful woman that you are. Act how you want to act dress however you want to dress as long as you feel safe. We have to be ourselves. O feel so much more confident when people treat me as a woman and use my female name. Love Jessica

debbie
Member
debbie
7 years ago

yes katie you have started out like most of us here that go public now. Just start with baby steps and soon you will be completely at ease with everything. I doubt very much you will regret having started on this journey to fulfill and be your real self. Continue on and share with your sisters here to give them confidence too

Darlene Peters
Darlene Peters
7 years ago

This past Monday night. I went out dressed for the first time. I walked along the sidewalks of my own nieghborhood. I was so happy. I have been closet dressing for 50 years I have amassed quite the wardrobe and learned to make my self passable but never felt it was good enough. Yet I did it. Finally. More adventures to come.

Jenny1323
7 years ago

Very happy for you. Sounds like you had a great time. I have only had the courage to go to the supermarket very late. It is a freeing experience.

Deborah Sullivan
Lady
Trusted Member
4 years ago

Thank you for sharing this story and oh yea I can certainly relate to every bit of it

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