I know exactly where you are coming from, and some time ago I wrote an article here about my struggle. Some people feel like they don’t like or need labels, but some of us need something to help us identify with what we are.
For a long time I called myself a “regular guy”, which maybe I wasn’t totally, ever, but maybe I was close to it. Then as I was being pulled further into femininity that somehow didn’t fit anymore. Regular guys don’t dress up in women’s clothes whenever they can. Well at least no one told me they do!
I think one has to accept oneself for what you are, and embrace your feminine side as best you can. It takes a lot of time, and I think so many of us go through a similar path, we are different.
A very good friend, another crossdresser put it to me an interesting way. Right now we are all on the same bus, but we have got on at different times, and we stop at various points along the way.
Love the bus analogy.