I was very moved by you post, and the self persecution of guilt you have carried. I would just like to say that you were no way in any form responsible for the outcome of your mum. The decision to have a child is the responsibility of the woman who wants one, the risks are always there in any pregnancy as some ladies will always take that risk Michelle, sadly some fail, but she gave you the biggest gift a human can give “Life” born out of love, and I bet she would do it all over again even if she knew the risks. Michelle sweetie she would lay not guilt on you, and you have no guilt to carry, enjoy the “Gift” she gave you, that’s her love to cherish sweetie.
Lol Amanda xx