Hi, Bobbie. Welcome to CDH. Take your time and explore the site, while you go down the path of self-discovery. Let me say this, though, in response to your inquiries:
-Have I joined the wrong group? Most of you seem to have already transitioned, or are working on it. As many have said below, those of us who visit the site regularly and contribute frequently are all over the spectrum.
—How do I find others to just dress up with and show off my nice clothes to? I don’t have wigs, nylons or heels and I’m not into the makeup thing. You can share photos here of your outfits. No wigs or shoes are necessary. But unless someone in your area knows of a LGBTQIA support group (groups that are strictly for crossdresser support are rarer than hen’s teeth), or you befriend a member who lives nearby, this is not the place to arrange one-on-ones.
—Is there anyplace I can go to meet other men who love their feminine side without wanting to transition? See above. As far as I know, there are no secret sites where respectable crossdressers meet.
I’m not implying any thing with my answers to your second and third questions. Just saying that, stick around and make friends through interaction on the site and maybe you’ll meet a local girl that you can share a cup of coffee with, or shop for dresses with. I will say, though, that this will probably take some time. We are a weary bunch, and won’t meet up after just a PM or two.
It’s very nice to meet you, Bobbie.