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Several of you girls have requested I post updates of my travels. I have copied and pasted posts on my FB page. Here goes. Ellie
January 6th
1st day in Thailand. Morning started a bit rough, brought a single cub drip and Starbucks. Delicious breakfast, nap, AA meeting across town, lunch, massage, ice cream and headed down for another nap. I’m settling into my vacation very nicely. Ellie
January 8th
I’ve recovered from my travel to Thailand and plan on exploring the train market today. Met a very nice couple yesterday from Vancouver Island and we have plans for dinner tonight. The Thai people work very hard for low wages. Taxi fares very low, 25 minute ride is $3.50, massage is $7 per hour, a plate of breakfast fried rice $1.50.
I’m staying in a boutique hotel in an annex 3 minute walk to the lobby and walk by several homes that also serve as a small mom and pop business. The Thais are genuinely friendly and get by with very little. The city comes alive in the evening with stores, restaurants staying open late. Traffic can be challenging with a lot of scooters. Saw one fellow with 4 tires and rims strapped to his bike, another scooter had three propane tanks. I’m headed to breakfast and a massage. Hope you are all well. Ellie
January 9th
Went on an adventure yesterday morning after my massage. Went by taxi and bus to Mae Klong where they have a market alongside an active rail line. Four times a day the trains lumber through town and the merchants pull there wares back, collapse the rain/sun covers. Lots of people there from all corners of the world.
So far my trip is going well. Bangkok is very clean and modern with 4G network, newer public transportation and lots of people.
Traffic is horrendous with buses, trucks, cars and scooters filling the roads.
If you come to Thailand, keep your change. It cost 3 bhat (10 cents) to use the bathrooms.
I’m headed to the post office to mail my granddaughter a birthday gift and an auction item for my Rotary Club. Then I’m headed to Thailand’s oldest Rotary Club for an English speaking meeting.
Found my newest best ice cream, papaya. Posted a pic of a little convenience store near my hotel. Open 6 am-10pm, the owner is there all day, every day. Buddhist monks are a common site, this guy looked to be about 80 and allowed me to take his picture. That’s it for now, another hot day with the high in the mid 90’s. I thought it was winter here. EM
January 10th
I’m hitting my stride after a slow start. The Dr cleared me to dive this morning after a concern with AFib on Monday. Attended the oldest Rotary club in Thailand at noon today. Tomorrow I go to a museum “The Jim Thompson House”. Google it, sounds interesting. I realized I brought way too much crap. Leaving a bag at my hotel and will pick it up when I leave.
Thai Boy Scouts outside my room this afternoon, happy sounds, happy boys screwing around with his dad’s scooter.
Rode the above ground mass transit rail system this afternoon. Very confused about where to get off and ended up having to pay to get off the platform.
Bangkok traffic is unbelievable, especially from 6am-9am and 4pm-7pm.
After the meeting I went to a mall that is a block square and seven stories. Very upscale especially the grocery store. That’s it for now. Ellie
January 11th
Woke up early yesterday and put on the coffee. Brought a single drip cone with a reusable filter, ground Starbucks and a travel mug from Bonaire. My room has an electric tea pot which makes things easy.
Here are some observations:
Always have your passport in your possession.
Fill out a ICoE, including your itinerary, medication list, allergies and someone to contact if you are hurt or worse. I included information about my medical trip insurance which I highly recommended. Seven corners.com.
Purchase a world-wide voltage converter.
I brought my Surface computer and now realize my iPhone does everything but does not allow me to download photos of my underwater camera. I’m using a USB splitter and portable recharger. It’s been hot here and I found a rechargeable fan that clips to my night stand.
Don’t use a parked taxi, they over charge.
Some taxi drivers are lazy and refuse to give you a ride. Keep trying and you’ll get to where you are going. Never agree to a flat fee, always go off the meter.
When I get into the Taxi I already have the destination loaded in my phone. I start the directions immediately. It helps the driver and reduces “drive arounds”.
You can purchase a SIM card from any 7-11, make sure you specify SMS (text) and data.
There is a setting in the iPhone in Cellular that allows texting
& phone provided you have Wi-Fi.
ONLY use Google Maps.
There is a machine shop between my room and the Hotel. Everything is very old an worn especially the blade in the electric hacksaw.
Two more days in Bangkok then off to my scuba diving resort. I’m ready for a slower pace. Ellie
PS: I’ve given up meat. Eating vegetarian plus fish and seafood. Loving the Thai food. EM
January 12th
I woke up early this morning (4 am), and I packed for tomorrow. I just love my digs, Lamphu Treehouse Boutique Hotel, located on a navigational canal. Lonely Planet top five in Bangkok. Private room in the annex, A/C, hot pot, small refrigerator and storage for my luggage for $43 per night includes a lovely breakfast.
Here’s a ear bud, charging cord hack. Instead of wrapping the cord around your hand, fold the ends in two a couple times and secure with a hair tie.
It was suggested I have dinner at Thip Thai Restaurant famous for their Phad Thai. After a 30 minute wait I was escorted to a table and the server hovered until I made a selection from the menu stapled to the wall. The food arrived 10 minutes later. They specialize in feeding the herd quickly and move on to the next group. I don’t recommend it.
Next to my hotel is The Family Restaurant Owner is from California and his wife is Thai. Wonderful couple that work extremely hard and her Aunt does laundry with same day service.
I went to the Jim Thompson House yesterday. Very interesting history about an amazing American business man and Asian art collector. If you come to Bangkok, don’t take an organized tour, taxi 100 Bhat, entrance fee 200 Bhat, delicious lunch 850 Bhat, water taxi back to near my hotel 100 Bhat. 100 Bhat=$3.33
I’m off to the pool. Missing my cribbage partner Harlan Hamaker. Looking forward to getting some beach 🏖 time tomorrow. Ellie
January 13th
Headed to my next home, Sail Rock Divers on the island of Koh Phangan. Stayed close to my hotel yesterday. Went to the Post Office that was open on Sunday, shopping center and grocery store for a few essentials before going to my next stop.
The rest of the day was spent resting by the pool. I met a young couple from Switzerland and she said she had to learn 4 different languages just to get by. I told her most Americans only know English some speak that poorly.
Had the opportunity to get a straight razor shave around the corner from my hotel. So relaxing and only $1.35
Found a used motorcycle for Shane Boothe a little paint and new tires and he’s all set.
There was a man fishing in the canal next to our hotel. He had a bucket full of cat fish.
Had a wonderful dinner at The Family Thai Restaurant before turning in early.
So glad to get a text from my friend K this morning, I was very worried about her.
Gotta run, by for now. Ellie
January 14th
I have arrived at my dive resort Sail Rock Divers on the island 🌴 of Koh Phangan. Bangkok Airways is great and we even got a sandwich lunch on our hour and a half flight. We arrive on time at Loh Samui then took a ferry to the island. Somewhere along the different travels I lost my Costa Del Mar sunglasses 🕶 😞. Thank goodness for my spare pair of Humps.
There was a cute kid on the bus, with his mom, from Mumbai India. He loved the Oreo cookies I shared with him.
I used to use a backpack for my carry on but I found this bag at REI and love it. I also started carrying a purse with quick access to my money, boarding pass and Passport. Most Thai men and 80% of the Europeans carry one. I’m hooked!
Many people smoke and the Thai government now has graphic photos of the front and back on a pack of cigarettes.
Found a squat and go toilet. Bring your own paper, 10 Bhat please.
I love my room and kitchen.
The room key has a holder in the room that activates the electricity and when you remove the key power is turned off. Great idea to save energy.
Gotta go, leaving at 7:30 for our first two tank dive. Ellie
January 17th
Been a couple days since I checked in. First dive was a bust 😞, I was under weighted which means I had difficulty submerging, strong current and terrible visibility. Come to find out that conditions are normal for this time of year 😡, wish I’d known that before I booked. But after feeling sorry 😐 for myself for a while I got busy with the classroom portion of my dive training that I signed up for. I’ve been assured that conditions won’t prevent me from completing my coursework and then I’ll relocate and enjoy some blue water heaven. I’m here until March 28th so I have plenty time to figure things out. Diving Friday and Saturday then off Sunday where I hopefully will be able to attend a 12 step meeting and shop at a store other than 7-11. Keeping my chin up and carrying on. Ellie
PS: Home cooked red curry, rice with poached snapper for dinner. Mackerel in tomato sauce, cabbage, hot sauce sandwich and for lunch. No meat so far.
January 18th
My instructor was sick yesterday, so I went on a training dive to continue with the familiarization of my new equipment. My biggest challenge is getting the weight correct. I wore a wet suit the first dive but got rid of it the second dive. I don’t understand the physics but as air is depleted from the tank, I become more buoyant also when wearing a wet suit as I dive deeper the pressure squeezes out the air making me less buoyant. I’ve decided to dive without the wetsuit and use a rash guard instead. I also have a new computer that is worn around the wrist. These first dives are very important to get me organized and ready for my Advanced, Rescue and Master Diver training.
I forgot to mention that I rented a new Honda 125cc scooter. It is so much fun to be back on a bike. I had forgotten the feeling of the wind whistling through my hair and the sense of freedom one feels. I drove the 17 miles to the main town, went to the dive shop, had lunch and went to the grocery store. That was a trip! I bought an assortment of food items to make a spaghetti dinner tonight using prawns instead of meat. No meat of any king since I got to Thailand. I got a little carried away but the total was about $70 US but had to fit everything in my shoulder bag and the little helmet storage compartment.
I’m finally remembering the names of the staff here at the resort, there are so many part timers it’s challenging. The rehired a woman from the UK who is in charge of the dive scheduling and training. Due to a shortage of instructors, she will be doing my checkout dives starting on Monday. Today (Saturday) I’m back into the classroom and then off tomorrow where I plan on taking the ferry to Koh Samui to get a 12-step meeting and hopefully lunch with the members of the group.
I’m really enjoying my time here in Thailand, it takes a few days to reorient myself but have found the people here are eager to be helpful. I’m sitting on my balcony this morning at 6 am and listing to the birds starting to wake up, there is on species that’s call sounds like “USA…USA…” I got to get a microphone app on my phone to record their calls for my friend John Arle.
I also haven’t watched TV at all here in Thailand and don’t look at the news very much.
It’s so peaceful to unplug for a while. I am enjoying my Altec Lansing external wireless speaker that plays songs I choose from Spotify. Mostly meditation and piano in the morning, rock later in the day. Bye, EllieJanuary 19th
Up early this morning as usual. Went to the pool for a thirty minute swim. I saw those birds John Arle pretty sure they are Morning Doves very vocal as the sun was coming up.
Back to the room taking my time, packing my day bag, eating breakfast thinking I had plenty of time to drive the scooter into town and catch the Ferry. Unfortunately I was 20 minutes late and ended up having to drive a treacherous road to Big Buddha pier 7 miles away. Thirty minutes later I arrived and am on the boat. I’m headed to Koh Sumai about thirty minutes away. There is a 12 step group meeting at 11 so I’ll make it on time. That’s what I call going to any lengths. Afterwards I’m going to look for a hair salon to get a trim then some lunch. Tonight I study for my Rescue Diver final exam. Gotta remember the difference between pneumothorax, subcutaneous emphysema and air embolism. I’m being challenged by my instructor, but love learning new stuff. EllieI spent 6 years working in Taiwan and had the opportunity to also see other places:
- Korea, 6 weeks for work
- Japan, 1 week for work
- Hong Kong, weekend for visa reset
- Australia, 10 days visiting in-laws
It is unfortunate that many Americans view Asia as a monolith in much the same way as Africa. Without traveling to various places they don’t realize that each country has some distinct differences in culture and traditions. We also need to get over the notion that just because a practice is different in another country does not make it inferior.
EM:
I do believe that if more people had the opportunity to travel to other countries, much of the Us vs Them BS would be forgotten.
From my observation, we seem to all want the same things. We want our children to do well in their lives. We want the chance to enjoy at least some of the fruits of our labors. We want stability in our lives and our countries. We want peace, locally, nationally and internationally.
My work took me to the places I mentioned plus France, Germany, Brazil and Guatemala. A co-worker once asked me who did I piss off? What he didn’t understand is that I asked to go. I wanted to see what other places were like; what other people were like and to see the US from the outside. I learned a lot; perhaps more than I understand.
Dressing and understanding my gender identity came essentially at the end of my worklife. I did underdress a few times in Taiwan and dressed in my apartment. What worried me was that if I was caught it would reflect badly on me, possibly reflect badly on my employer and be difficult to live down with my co-workers (essentially construction guys from Australia and New Zealand). Therefore the risk was too high, particularly in a place where my vocabulary was less than 20 words!
EM:
Yes, although aging does have negative aspects, there are some uniquely positive ones. I am retired, as of January 31, 2016, from Corning, Inc. I was formerly a mechanical engineer for 43 years, 23 of which was with Corning. For all of 2015 I attended various CD/TG gatherings in Rochester (once a month) and Geneva (2x a month), but my public coming out was 10/10/15. I was the Mistress of Ceremonies for an annual free community event that our LGBT employee affinity group put on. We had Ian Harvie as our guest entertainer (trans man who writes, does standup, and has appeared on TRANSPARENT and the new Will & Grace episodes). In other years we had Susan Westenhoefer 2x, Marga Gomez and Alec Mapa. Anyway, we had ~130 people (some of whom I knew), Later in the month I did 2 presentations at work on gender identity. I wasn’t dressed, but I closed with a photo of me with Ian Harvie. For that October I came out to ~210 people, including my daughter and son, 7-8 close friends and my then department manager. Not the way that I would recommend to others, but it worked for me. I’ve been with my 2nd wife for 14 years now and she knows everything about me. While I sometimes present as Don when I need to do something that is much shorter than the time it takes to get dressed and do makeup, I leave the house as DeeAnn at least 80% to 90% of the time.
I was the Volunteer Coordinator for last year’s Palm Springs Pride (1st weekend of November). Today we will have a volunteer appreciation lunch. Shortly I will start getting ready as I need to do a bit of pressing on the dress that I’m doing to wear. After that, my Women’s Chat group will be going to see Little Women. Back in the spring the lesbians seem to have adopted me. This was a great surprise as trans folks often tend to be just out on the fringes. It has been a great experience and I’ve met some really interesting women. Definitely makes me feel good.
Fortunately, for me, I don’t need to physically transition. I identify as transgender and non-binary. I’ve never felt that I was in the wrong body, but I eventually came to the realization that I am neither completely male nor completely female. I am an amalgam of the 2. However, my social transition is essentially complete. About the only thing left would be changing my name legally, but that would cause a lot of complications for me. The vast majority of people here in The Valley know me as DeeAnn and very few have ever met Don.
I remember you said that you will be away until sometime in March. Definitely envious! Are you planning to visit any other countries? Medical issues for both my wife and me present some distinct challenges, so that won’t be happening much. Anyway, life continues!
Be Well, Be Safe and enjoy the ride!
EM:
That was one Hell of a dream! I have to admit that I rarely remember a dream; at most once a year. The last one I remember was sometime last year. For some reason I was fighting someone. I woke up when I punched my wife in the shoulder!?!?
Regarding visiting, as they say on the Price Is Right, “Come On Down!”. However, it is a bit of a dangerous proposition as often people visit here and then figure out how they can move here permanently!
Some of the significant events here that I will likely be involved with in some way for this year:
Cathedral City LGBT Days, March 28
I live in Cathedral City, which is adjacent to Palm Springs. You wouldn’t be back in time for this, but it is typically the last weekend in March.Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast, May 7
This is an event to honor the memory of Harvey Milk and it is also a fundraiser for scholarships for LGBT youths in The Valley (Palm Springs, Cathedral City, Rancho Mirage, La Quinta, et al). As I understand, it is the largest Harvey Milk event in the country. About 1,000 attended last year and the featured guest and speaker was Cleve Jones.Cinema Diverse, LGBT Film Festival, September ?
Couldn’t find this on the calendar, but I believe it is always in September. There’s several days of LGBT movies and shorts. I helped to screen trans movies a couple of years back.Palm Springs Pride, November 6-8
This is one of the largest Pride events in the state and it is still FREE! As I understand, it has surpassed the Palm Springs International Film Festival in terms of the most patronized event in the city. Pride generates a $20,000,000+ impact for the area.There are a bunch of award events and galas during the course of the year. There is a community calendar (not limited to LGBT events) by O’Bayley Communications on their web site.
To close, I like your new photo on your profile page: Fish Feet!! said the non-aquatic person…
Good Day:
Glad that your studies are going well! I hope that continues.
I’m pretty particular about my coffee and I can see how the circumstances would be a let down. Hot water and grounds leaves a bit to be desired! I’ve been grinding my own beans for 14-15 years now. I have hardware for just about every way you can think of to brew coffee: Bodum French press, stovetop Pyrex percolators (vintage Corning ones), Chemex pour over pot and most recently a vintage Silex vacuum coffeemaker.
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Interesting question. Previously I was a board member and treasurer for 2 trans organizations and a steering committee member for our local HRC group. I did all 3 for over 2 years, but I resigned from all last year.
About this time last year I was invited to join a group called The Women’s Circle. This wasn’t sight unseen as I knew the 2 women who organize it. It is a group of lesbian small business owners. I don’t own a business, but they also like to have members who had corporate careers. I’m a retired engineer. There’s also a retired doctor and a retired servicewomen among the ones I know. One of the other members that I know invited me to attend the OLOC (Old Lesbians Organizing for Change) meetings. I’ve started attending those also. Back at the beginning of October there was a week-long series of events: Palm Springs Women’s Week. I was asked to participate in a panel discussion.
Anyway, all this was completely unexpected on my part, but one thing led to another. I am always wary that some TERF jumping out of the woodwork, but the community seems to be pretty cool.
With all that has happened, it feels like I am exactly where I need to be, with people that I need to be with…
Yes, sometimes this journey places us between a rock and a hard place. It just goes with the territory. All we can do is deal with it as best we can, but there is no Magic Bullet.
Because I came to these realizations late in life, it allowed me to bypass a lot of the hardships that many trans people face. I didn’t plan it that way, it’s just how things happened. Anyway, it had no bearing on my career as my public coming out was ~4 months before I retired. There was no issue for my wife (2nd) as she knew everything. My daughter and son were grown and out of the house. We also own our home.
Unconsciously I guess, I seem to have this flair for the dramatic. My public coming out was in front of about 130 people, including some co-workers. That was October 10, 2015. Altogether for October I came out to about 210 people, including my daughter and son, 7-8 close friends and my then department manager. I would not recommend this as a way to come out, but I think I was ready to unburden myself. And that is truly what it is. When you present as the person you are meant to be, it often frees up a lot of stuff. That stuff that you have spent decades nailing down. When I first came out to someone, it felt like I was standing straighter. I don’t know how else to describe it.
One thing that I believe is that everyone has their own schedule. At some point, there will be a time when you get tired of carrying the baggage around. That’s when you will be ready to let go…
Hi:
I was a bit curious why you hadn’t written anything for a while. Sounds like they are working you pretty hard. That’s good. At least it will keep you off the streets!?!?
I noticed I never answered you about DWIT (Driving While In Tutu). What the hell? It’s probably only just a bit shorter than some of my skirts and skorts! You know, I think a lot of times we worry about stuff, but no one is really looking…
Fairly quiet in these parts. I’ve been a bit busy, however. In my capacity as Volunteer Coordinator for the PS Pride organization, I rounded up about 60 of the volunteers from last November for an appreciation lunch. Going from memory, I think the original list was ~170 people, but some were from out of town (LA, Long Beach, San Diego, etc.) and others couldn’t do a long lunch. But it was a nice event. Wife and I went to see Little Women. Neither of us had ever read the book, so there was some curiosity at work. I nodded off for maybe the first third, but after that it was pretty interesting. The local LGBT center does an annual event called Info A-Go-Go. This was the 3rd one and brings together a number of LGBT non-profits and recreational groups so that existing and new residents and snowbirds can find out if there is something that they would like to join or be involved in. That’s our table in the photo.
But, as always, Life is + and -. Garbage disposal decided to piss all over everything under the sink!?!? New super one should arrive early next week. As Rosanne Rosanadanna said: “It’s Always SOMETHING!!”.
Be Well and enjoy learning new stuff!
DeeAnn
We’ve had house guests for the past week and they are going home this morning (Wednesday). We’ve made several of the Modernism Week events/tours/lectures. I have one more lecture scheduled on Friday afternoon. It is by the author of:
Fins: Harley Earl and the rise of General Motors and the Auto Industry
There is also a collector car auction starting this Friday and running through the weekend. It is a regional auction and not a big national one like Barrett-Jackson or Mecum, but they still do a turnover of about $6.5 mil for the weekend. They do it twice a year: late February and late November. I’ll be there at some point over the weekend. I think that I have only missed one since I’ve been here.
I attended the Her HRC Event Saturday afternoon. It is an event planned to celebrate women and to provide networking opportunities. This was the first one that I attended where I wasn’t part of the team (I used to do all of the Facebook promotion for the local group) as I resigned last September.
Several of the members of the Women’s Chat Group that I attend just about every week does a movie once a month. Today we went to see The Photograph. Last month we saw Little Women. For the 4 months before that, we watched 2 episodes a month of a UK series called Gentleman Jack. It is about Ann Lister, a lesbian who lived in the UK in the 1800’s. Fascinating story! Wikipedia has a pretty detailed account of Ms. Lister’s life.
Anyway, Life goes on.
Be Well!!
I’ve mentioned that my public coming out was a few months before I retired. That was just how things worked out. There was no Grand Plan. Anyway, I’ve essentially missed nearly all of the strife that many have had regarding jobs, housing, family issues, etc. However, I have seen it and know what it does to people. Simply heartbreaking in many cases.
I had a good friend here who passed away a year ago last August 1st. She was intersex and her journey started about the same time as mine. I was never quite sure what her wife and grown daughters thought, but they seemed supportive enough from what I could tell. Anyway, we were contemporaries as our birthdays were within about 3 years or so. I never realized the significance of that until I met Alyce. While I know many who are much younger than I am, the difference is that she and I were essentially working with the same database. We didn’t have to explain Elvis or the Beatles being on the Ed Sullivan Show or the Moon Walk by Neil Armstrong. We may interpret events in different ways, but the initial information is very, very similar and became one of the ways in which we bonded. I never had a relationship like that before and I think it helped both of us. She was in the process of becoming comfortable with her womanhood and presenting as female. I believe going out shopping with me or going to lunch helped to stabilize and legitimize things for her. For me, she provided the support of someone walking a similar path and growing into the person that you are destined to be. Sadly, she died of liver cancer. Previously, it had taken her father and uncle.
What this reinforced for me was the significance and power of non-romantic relationships and it sort of took me by surprise. I miss Alyce and thinking about her some time back helped me understand what I wrote above. I think, from my experience anyway, it is much more difficult for men to have this kind of friendship. The problem is that is goes against how we were conditioned, and unfortunately a lot is missed. For the time being, I don’t have another friend like Alyce, but hope springs eternal.
The other week the facilitator of our Women’s Chat Group was out sick. When I arrived for the gathering, there were already 7-8 women in the room. I was greeted with cheers and “Hey, DeeAnn’s here!!”. Every now and then, this is a kind of welcoming ritual that folks do, so I thought that’s all it was. However, the Program Director was in the room and told me that our facilitator was at home and that she recommended that I be her temporary replacement. Anyway, the 90 minutes went very well and a number of the women appreciated what I did and made a point of thanking me. I sat in my car for a few minutes before I left as I needed to process for a moment. Sort of a Seinfeld “What just happened here?” moment. The thought that came to me was that this was an indicator of acceptance and I have to admit that I teared up a bit. When I started going to these gatherings I decided to be thoughtful about my behavior. It doesn’t take much to figure out that I am transgender, so my thought was to be aware of those male-related behaviors that could push buttons for people. I’ve never been particularly aggressive, but I paid attention to what might be construed in that way. I watched what I said, the words I used and how long I spoke. The group varies from 8 to about 15 women. Every week it feels more like I have arrived and it has a very warm and encompassing feeling to it. I do wish that Alyce was here to experience this with me.
Through the Chat Group and the Women’s Circle, I’ve met a number of very interesting women; women for all different places, occupations and circumstances. Many have gone through very difficult periods in their lives, but they survived and are still here. When I was working, I liked out of town and out of the country assignments. I wanted to see other places and other people as it held importance for me. What has happened here over the last year is just an extension of that. It continues to enrich me.
So, I’ve talked enough. Time to fix breakfast and do some Stuff!
Be Well,
DeeAnn
Hi:
Yes, I know about the Gender Unicorn. For some reason we tend to use the Genderbread Person out here, but it is conceptually the same. Sadly there are still MANY who believe that sex and gender are the same thing. Once that gets set in concrete, the only solution is dynamite…
You are correct. I was not an athlete. I had pretty decent coordination and reflexes, but I missed a lot of playing time and development due to arthritis. I was also small. When I graduated from college I was almost 5’-10” and weighted 135lb. From high school in the 60’s until about 2000, I had very few male friends. It took me a long time to sort out how things sat for me, but I was pretty sure that there was something that needed hiding. I had no idea what that “something” was, but I knew it wasn’t good. Basically, I was this skinny kid that walked funny. The saving grace was that I got good grades. I didn’t have to work very hard at it. I also sang tenor in the church choir. In short, there seemed to be a lot of factors working against me.
Since I married my 2nd wife I have not done anything outside of our relationship. Never say never, but I have not been looking. I still consider myself bisexual, but it seems that as time goes on I’m leaning more towards lesbian. Anyway, I have no current plans to try to sort this out. It isn’t a priority.
One thing that has been fortunate is that I have never felt that I was in the wrong body. The Transgender, Non-binary category fits me pretty well. I like presenting as DeeAnn and I have no problem with crossing the gender boundary. Non-binary fits because my being is neither completely male nor completely female. It is an amalgam of the two. I have one persona and it is essentially the same regardless of how I am presenting. The differences are very slight. As I began to read more about what crossdressers did and how they felt, I realized that it was not a good fit. It feels right to me to go into the world as DeeAnn. It allows me to exercise those parts of my mind that had been suppressed for so long. I don’t have to posture. I don’t have to act in ways that are not me. I just get to be me…
Hi:
Been a bit occupied with attending Modernism Week events and with our house guests, but things are beginning to return to normal. I’ve only done a house tour once since I’ve been here, but I’ve been to a number of lectures that have been really fascinating. This area is VERY rich in terms of history, the architecture, who lived here, the favorite haunts of the celebrities, the influence of the Tribes and how the town got started. We also did one walking tour in downtown Palm Springs. This place might still be just a dusty crossroads without the efforts of several women (one of whom was Julia Carnell, wife of the president of National Cash Register). The whole area is relatively new in that Palm Springs was incorporated in 1938. Cathedral City, where I live, was incorporated in ‘81.
Last Sunday I went to brunch at a local restaurant with my car club; 31 guys and me. I am always amazed when someone refers to me as “he” even after I’ve told them my name. It would be different if I dressed like a real butch lesbian, but that is not the case: feminine hat, often a silk blouse or tunic, a mid-thigh skort, full makeup, jewelry, purse or small backpack and heels. I find it frustrating. I mostly leave it alone, but I will say something about 1/3 of the time. Now, I realize that I don’t really pass, but you would think that the rest of the visuals make a distinct statement. Definitely don’t look like I want to be called “he”.
This past weekend was also at the collector car auction. They’ve done it twice a year for just over 30 years now. I think I’ve missed only one in the 4 years that I’ve been here. I went Sunday afternoon and had a nice time walking around looking at cars and taking photos. A friend of mind had his ‘66 Ford pickup in the auction, but I don’t know if he sold it. It was a beautiful day: completely sunny with a temperature in the upper 70’s. Some guy even hit on me. We were looking over a very nice ‘51 Studebaker survivor car. We were chatting about how the car looked and the eventual fate of Studebaker and unexpectedly there was a question about if I was attached. You know, I try to keep an open mind about things, but that sort of took me by surprise. I told him that my wife and I are coming up on 16 years soon and that basically killed his momentum!?!? Anyway, this has happened before and it does surprise me. I didn’t think that I gave off a vibe that says that I’m looking, but who knows.
I will send you a PM with some other things…
Be Well!
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