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Like many of you, I have been crossdressing in secrecy, hiding it for more than 35 years. Over those years I bought lingerie, heels and dresses only to purge them again, after my growing fear that my wife or kids would find out. Three years ago I stopped crossdressing, trying to block it once and for all, as it provided so much stress to keep this secret.
Until last December. A friend gave me a present and she had drawn the outline of my face on the gift wrap. Later she told me she had needed to tweak the image, as I looked like a woman at her first try. My heart jumped, I consciously knew she could not know my secret, but hearing that my face outline looked feminine took my breath away. It was really hard to keep my cool at that moment. This has been a huge trigger.
I could not let go of the thought of dressing up again. I started to realize after reading a lot, that next to dismissing dressing up, I had also dismissed my feminine side for all of my life. I started dreaming of meeting my feminine side in a beautiful way. Until then I had only tried clothes when crossdressing, which felt great, but never tried a full makeover with makeup and a wig. Browsing the internet I found a photo studio that does makeovers specifically for crossdressers with professional makeup and photography. The photos on their website were stunning and watching their videos I felt the respect and care with which they treated their guests.
I must admit it I have been very nervous about calling them and it took me a long time to really press the dial button, but I did and am so glad about it. The shoot was wonderful and emotional. I met three amazing women; Annett (the owner at crossdress-photoshoot), her photographer and her makeup artist. They took the time to sit down to get to know me and make sure I felt at home and as relaxed as possible. With them knowing about the purpose of my visit and being so kind and respectful, I decided to share my story. They were eager to see the dresses I had bought and together we picked a gorgeous one. We talked about my likes in makeup and hair styles and I showed some pictures of women I find beautiful. Then the moment came to change into my dress. This moment was so exciting and scary. I had to present myself in dress, pantyhose and high heels to someone else for the first time in my life. With my heart racing I came out of the dressing room. When I stepped out of the room I was overwhelmed by their compliments and kind words. This was such a relieve.
I sat down and we started with makeup. The makeup artist gave me a lot of tips and told me about her favourite products and how to apply them. Halfway through makeup, when your face basically has become a blank canvas, we selected a lovely copper coloured wig. The fun part is they have 60 different wigs, so you can really pick your style. Then the makeup slowly changed my face to that of a woman. After finalizing the makeup and putting on the wig, I was looking at a woman in the mirror in front of me. For the first time in my life I met Liv. This was such a magical and emotional moment. Liv was born. I will never forget it. The makeup was so nice and since I was already wearing my dress, I felt feminine. I felt so beautiful.
The photoshoot after that was a dream, they supported me with posing, capturing me in the most beautiful ways. All the time I felt respect, trust and a loving energy from them. Never did I feel weird or ridiculed. I really was a beautiful woman, and I was amongst friends. It was so liberating to be able to talk about hair, makeup, dresses, high heels, emotions and girly things. But most important, it was a magnificent way of acknowledging Liv. This shoot has been a life changer. Looking back I needed to see Liv in this way in order to understand she is a big part of me and that never ever again I should dismiss her. The shoot has taken me on a journey to get to love who I am.
Coming out in front of the camera, might not have been the easiest route, but for me it felt like the only way to meet Liv in all her grace and beauty. I felt like a beautiful woman and not someone who just dresses up in female clothing. More important I received help and support from women who care and understand what we are looking for. The shoot has been therapy for me and I wish everyone of you girls could enjoy such a magical experiences.
Love, Liv
This must of been exciting. To get a real make over from women while you are dressed hast to be a new high. I would love to get a makeover.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I would give almost anything to find a place like that somewhere close to where I live. I am so happy for you Liv. You are absolutely gorgeous. Hugs Rochelle.</p>
Rochelle, Thank you for the compliments! I feel very fortunate that this photostudio is only an hour drive from my home. I have learned there are not many of these places, as they get guests from all over Europe and now even Australia.
Hugs, Liv
I am going to search for one around the Dallas-Fort worth area.
I Love to dress for the camera. I recently set up a mini photo set in my bedroom with red satin drapes as a back ground. Your pics are beautiful Liv!!
Rhonda,
Thank you very much! Must be great to have your private photo set.
hugs, Liv
Charlene,
I loved the photoshoot, but I know there are studios that do professional makeovers, to allow you to go out as well.
hugs, Liv
Thanks for sharing your story Liv. Hopefully it will help others come up with the confidence let out thier inner woman for others to see the beautiful person contained within!
Meeting yourself for the first time…priceless.
I try to doll myself up and be fully Sarah occasionally just to reconnect with the inner me.
Way to go.
Beautiful story Liv! I am so happy for you that you were able to experience that joy. I’ve had a makeover in the past and it was the most thrilling day of my life. Keep growing.
Liv,
you might have said, but what was the name of the studio you went to? and how much was it?
Caelynn
This is the place I went to for my makeover:
Thank you Liv for sharing those moments. I also did a photo shoot last summer but that was at a well renowned model house and photo studio in Stockholm, Sweden. At my 50th birthday I received amongst others a gift card for an experience at LiveIt.se. I browsed back and forth trough their catalogue and when I finally came upon ‘Model for a day’ I instantly knew: ‘this is what I want to do’. After some time thinking, I contacted Liveit and asked them to check with the studio if it was possible to be photographed as a woman. I soon got a positive response and assurance that this had been done before, and so I booked a date. I was asked to come without makeup and bring at least two outfits. I came in drab and actually brougth five outfits: four dresses and one skirt and blouse combination. I also brought three pairs of shoes, two wigs, two purses and assorted jewellery. Upon arrival I changed into the first dress in the bathroom and then sat down in the waiting area, having to wait for a family with two children taking pictures before me. The makeup artist discussed what look I aimed for and made a marvelous job and the photographer was really good, chatting and directing me to do this and that and making me feel totally relaxed. I used four outfits during about one hour. The deal included 10 photos to keep, but there were so many good ones that I decided to pay an extra 120 dollars to keep all the 141 pictures taken. Afterwards, I changed back to the first dress and took a walk in the city, still in full makeup, before returning to the studio to remove the makeup and retrieve my other clothes. All in all it was a wonderful day.
My next goal is the do an outdoor shoot, perhaps in a park or among the many historical places in my hometown.
Marianne
@Marianne, thank you for sharing your story.
I did an outdoor shoot this week, and it was amazing. what an experience. I can highly recommend it. It were my first steps outdoor en femme, and having the support of the photographer and visagist was amazing.
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