- This topic has 31 replies, 26 voices, and was last updated 10 months ago by
.
- Posts
For some, CDH is their first contact with the “community”. They may have been isolated and thinking they were the only ones who felt the way they did, etc.
For others, CDH is a place where they feel perfectly at home after years of going around many other different cd/tg places/chatrooms/forums.But I just thought it would be interesting to see how being here (for any length of time you have been here) has changed you, and if it has improved your life, your mental health, or even if it had any negative changes occurring in your life.
Please select as many answers as would fit your personal experience.
Hi Gabriela,
Thanks, a well thought out survey ! I’m looking forward to other responses.
I found a few boxes to tick, all positive. The main one for me was “I feel better about myself … ”
eM xxx
It would be fair to say CDH changed my life.
When I got here I didn’t know any CD’s or trans people. I now have hundreds of friends and socialize with dozens of them on a fairly regular basis.
I’d never been to any type of CD or trans event before CDH. I’ve been to several since joining.
I identified as a CD when I joined 3+ years ago. I’ve come to realize I’m trans. I started transitioning about 20 months ago. CDH played a big part in sorting things out.
I’m an out and proud member of the transgender community. Being on CDH helped me gain the confidence to be myself.
CDH gives me an opportunity to be of service to our community. I couldn’t possibly repay what I’ve gotten from being a member. But I try. Paying it forward is one of the most rewarding things I do these days. It’s one of the reasons I keep coming back.
/EA
I have greatly enjoyed being on here and reading about others and their joys and concerns. As I mentioned some time ago, I was once a member (and a mod) on another tg/ts site that had a different slant to it, although the concerns and questions/responses and give and take were similar. It just got a little off kilter at times and I left as it was not as enjoyable as it had been. Just finding it, and finally being able to share with others eased a lot of my inner turmoil at the time and which has carried over to here.
The original site is gone and has been reborn or replaced with something a little different and some of the people with whom I interacted were still there last time I peeked about a year or so ago. But as I said, I enjoy being here, sharing my experiences and story and learning of others and their stories and offering support. And knowing there are lots of others out there who are or have been going through similar issues that I’ve had to face. Just where I am now in life, things are where they are and I’m doing what I can to deal with them. CDH helps.
Hugs, ChloëC
ps I voted no changes, yet, I suppose there have been a little.
Noticed is an understatement in my case. Not only did I find support, I found laughs, hugs, tears, comfort, inspiration and courage from all the people I have met here. From the practical (makeup and clothing tips) to the collective dreams several of us have shared about The Pink Fog bar and dance club we playfully discuss opening one day. I have become more connected with my feminine side (emotionally and physically), more compassionate en femme and more understanding of our gg friends too. I have opened my eyes to many new viewpoints. Knowing that I’m not alone has just helped me grow into the person I am today. Even if it all came to a stop tomorrow, I would be eternally grateful to cdh and its members.
Finding CDH has been the best therapy this old girl could have hoped for. I have really opened up to my friends here. I do have lots of “friends” but the core group, that I talked to often, is the real boost I needed in my life. Sure there has been friends that have come and gone, but even those I learned more about myself with the messages we exchanged.
I could go on all day about how wonderful this forum is and how much it means to me. Though I have only been a member since December 2022 it has truly changed my life. I have met one of the girls in person and had a lovely time. It really forced me to step up my game as far as my appearance. Most of all it helped me seek counseling where I finally made the discovery that I am transgender. Since then I have found a lot of peace in my life. I still have not transitioned but the the plans to travel that road are coming into place.
I love all the wonderful caring ladies that are here. You are all so special to me. You are are my strength and motivation to move forward in the life I was mean ‘t to live in all along. Special shout out to Perky, thanks for being such a good friend.
Love,
Tommie
It pretty much boils down to how most of you are voting and saying in your replies for me too. I took my busy tax preparation season off, but now I’m back to continue with the life I want to live. Speaking with several people here through messages have helped me more than you can realize. Scared and weak to carefree and confident is the biggest change I’ve gotten, because I know that I’m not alone. I’ll always have questions…. I still hate my makeup skills… I still am working on my fem voice through a professional… I still haven’t fully left the house in full Jeri mode in the daylight just yet.. (But I did win a bet with a CDH friend by going through a drive thru in full fem late at night).
But I am working harder on things every day. I’ve lost 50 pounds in 7 months by just changing my diet and how I want to look. I take care of my skin and hair much more than I ever did. Have my wardrobe down to under 15% male clothing. Wearing something female 24/7. Posture, manners, thinking more outside the box, even up to walking around in a mid size heel… I’m trying to crack the code without the use of HRT. The options of who I can speak to about trying that is limited around me. One of those everyone knows everyone, if you sneeze, half the town knows before you grab a tissue. You get the picture.
CDH helps… you just gotta mingle.
When I joined CDH 3.5 yrs. ago, I was a closeted, embarrassed, lingerie-only dresser. Fast forward to the present and I am living my life virtually full time as a woman, both in public and at home. I have met & made friends with a number of local CD’s and I went to Keystone last month for the first time where I met numerous new friends including a bunch from CDH. So my life has changed greatly and CDH has played an important role in that change.
Fiona
Since joining the site in August of 2022, I have enjoyed it immensely. I’m rather shy in social settings so for me, the friendships and interpersonal contacts it encourages really helped open me up. I felt I could be myself without fear of being flamed as with other sites, and that made making new real life friends from the site so easy.
I’m grateful to CDH which has served as the platform in the “Groups” area for us to start the Atlanta Girls Group, which has grown rapidly and is serving as a viable alternative to the single other CD option in Atlanta. We have weekly support meetings, and several girls have made new friendships. Although our group is digitally-based, we conduct face-to-face support meetings.
A local professional counseling practice has been gracious in unofficially partnering with us.
The survey was well conceived. For me personally CDH offers me the opportunity to communicate with fellow crossdressers via the chat room sharing our crossdressing experiences and journeys. It reaffirms when my gender therapist told me that I am “NOT ALONE” in my journey and that there are many other individuals the same as me. It is difficult to explain but there is a “comradery” here on CDH which I personally find to be extraordinary.
I’m perhaps one of the longer term members here as I’ve recently passed my fourth anniversary, but joining CDH created a cascade of events which has benefited me more than I ever could have imagined!
Shortly after joining, and almost at the same time two girls contacted me to tell me about a local (Toronto, Ontario) support group, to which I was invited to a dinner meet up shortly after that. I was totally terrified at going out femme, but they were so good and supportive of however my presentation was that I decided I had to give it a go. The big plus for me was the private dinner room, and I could change to and fro on site in a private washroom. Oh my, I quickly got hooked on going out fully femme then learned so much more about how to present better, both from other girls here, and from my new friends.
The feeling of being with a group of other crossdressers plus a few who were fully transitioned was awesome and I quickly lost my nervousness and enjoyed my time with them which was over too soon!
Also another local girl and I discovered we lived only a few minutes apart and met up a number of times, till she moved much further away.
So after my first meeting with these folks, this led to more introductions etc., etc. So it’s a wide combination of people and influences both here at CDH and first hand which has led me to where I am now.
Now I have so much more confidence and go out often fully femme than could have possibly imagined before. Recently I was elected President of the same local CD and TG social and support group which welcomed me so warmly a little over four years ago. This is my way of repaying, and paying it forward by helping to give new girls a safe place to meet with others.
So joining CDH was the seed which started the ball rolling. Not that it was an easy decision! I chickened out three times before I finally completed my membership and became a member.
Amy
I had fully accepted myself as a CDer, started buying myself women’s clothes, and started attending a local CD/TG support group before I joined CDH on 8/1/19. I was surprised that I realized a member of my local support group was a CDH member and when I asked if it was her; she convinced me to join.
I had actually found CDH a year or so before I officially joined; I viewed the site as a unregistered visitor.
I voted “I feel happy because I found my people”. I’ve never been much into internet social networking; until I joined this site. CDH kept me in “contact” with the “sisterhood” when the COVID pandemic canceled my local CD/TG support group meetings and since 2022 when my work schedule prevented me attending.
It has been so wonderful to be able to chat with other people like me. Thank you to everyone who has responded kindly to me – and I will get some photos done and posted! Promise! Love to you all. Alli x
Dont even know where to start. first CDH gave me the courage to finally admit to myself that I really do have another side of me that I have been repressing for years; CDH gave me the courage to come out to my wife that I am a CD and want to go on that journey (within reason and our comfort zone). As a result my wife is comfortable seeing stephanie dressed up around the house, and I am comfortable being in stephanie mode while being with her (dressed now in matching panties bra and robe set with matching earrings and wig and serving her coffee). I think she bought everything I am currently in. As I am typing this she looked over and said I looked cute in my matching attire (another good day) Also CDH has inspired me to lose a little weight. So many other changes away from toxic masculinity its hard to track. So Yes it has changed my life!
Have been here for eight years this August upcoming- longer than all but 17 active members andchecked two thirds of the boxes listed. Went from so deep in the closet, I couldn’t even see the door (OK given my wardrobe is nicknamed Narnia maybe that’s not the best analogy lol) to living as Cyn 24/7 and coming up on 16 months of HRT!
One option not listed for the “effect” was the blessing of watching so many of our members spread their wings and taking flight, blossoming into butterflies, shedding their self imposed chains, breaking down the walls- pick your metaphor but it all comes down to the honor, blessing, and privilege to serve on staff and witness the amazing folks on this site…THAT’S the single best thing I’ve gotten from the site and from greeting each and every one of you as you joined us here.. Thank you all!
CynI came to CDH many yrs ago. They didn’t even have the chatrooms back then. Oh and by the way, this is my second time back. I used to be here under a different screen name. I closed the first account for guilt,shame, didn’t want to accept the truth.
I even got my second wife to join CDH. You may know her as Venus in the chatrooms. By the way, she loves you guys and loves talking to each and Everyone of you.
Here is some things I learned and my answers might shock you.
I as a CDer myself, I was not always opened to other CDers. Actually I was kinda a penis to other CDers.
See I think it was because I hated seeing myself though their eyes. When I was reading other people stories about them being happy dressed.
I just felt guilty in myself at least that’s what I believe to be true.
Another thing I also believe in. That how jealous i was in how comfortable others were with their CDing.
So I learn acceptance within myself and to others
See I may have been openly CDing since the early 2000’s, but I was a drunken a$$hole and being here and going to AA meetings. Changed me for the better.
Now I’m back to being my ol’ loveable self again. Who knows where I might have ended up if it was not the help of CDH and AA.
I’m still kinda standoffishness and keep my life very private on-line. Because I still have the fear of being hurt and taken advantage of. So please people don’t take that as offensive. I still have trust issues and I’m still learning to cope with this.
My ex-wife used my CDing has a weapon against me and got me to not to trust people.
The ex-wife may have known of my CDing, but she was not as accepting and as supportive as my current wife.
Before I go, I want to add something. I still hide my CDing from one side of my family and that’s because they are bigots, racists and shut me out of the family.
You might say. Why do I care if they do. See most in that side of the family that I care about were born in the 1930s and their time on Earth is coming to an end.
I figure why get the family fighting when the ones I care about may only have a few yrs left on earth.
It’s called keeping the peace. Once the key members die off. I’ll just disappear from that side of the family and I won’t have nothing to worry about anymore.
That’s another reason I don’t use social media like Facebook and junk (besides the unlawful spying that goes on with them sites). It keeps distant family from finding me and if they really want to find me. They are going to have to hire a Private Eye.
Hippie
Been a while since I’ve seen your name Hippie! Glad we had a small part in eventually helping you come to terms and be happy and accepting yourself-even if it took some time!
Cyn
I’ve noticed that i feel like a outsider. The chat seems to just flow on by and i dont feel like i belong
-
Don’t get despondent. A group is the same anywhere whether you walk in on it in a bar on your computer screen. At least on here we have one subject in common 💃
you will look at one of those conversations at some point and feel the need to post x
- The forum ‘Crossdresser Heaven Polls’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments