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    • #712658
      Rhonda Lee
      Baroness - Annual

      Many of us are aging and face a dilemma: Can I continue to crossdress if I move to an adult community or need assistance, or will I have to live my last days in stealth before being thrust 6 feet under?

      I am considering using lake property I manage to form a senior living community.  I subscribe to a periodical “Seniors Housing Business” which could prove a source for attracting buyers. An article caught my attention “United Church Homes plans Longfellow Commons LGBTQ-friendly community in Ohio” This community targets LGBTQ seniors in Dayton. The founder claims to be only the fourth such community in the nation. They note that this segment of the population often experiences adverse treatment when seeking seniors housing. I haven’t investigated to determine if they attract the full spectrum… both “LGB” and “T”, but if the community is akin to my experience with Metropolitan Community Churches, where I have found extremely positive, welcoming, accepting friends, where I can freely dress and act as I prefer, the thought of finding caretakers who would help me continue to dress, salons that would indulge my desire to style my hair, paint my nails, give me makeovers, and help me look my femme best when I cannot… the very services reserved for women in most such facilities..  is very appealing. There may be some in my family who would never visit, but I can carry on without them. They have already consigned me to the funny farm, so maybe the last laugh will be on them.

      I’d love to hear from others. Would you seek out such a facility?

    • #712661

      I certainly would if I had a need for such a facility.  I just turned 70, so this is is something to think about.  XO – Julia

    • #712662
      Liz K
      Managing Ambassador

      An LGBTQ friendly facility would be an appealing nicety.  Regardless, my wardrobe comes with me if I ever land in one of these places.

      • #712818
        Rhonda Lee
        Baroness - Annual

        You go girl! Wouldn’t it be nice to gather around a TV in the speak-easy, wearing a nice dress, made up with hair freshly styled and nails painted professionally, and feel totally at ease among others doing the same? I have experienced a taste of that at MCCs; not only I but others comment that it delights them to see me so comfortable in my own skin…. not a disapproving glance in the place. That wardrobe should not remain in a closet for sure!

    • #712713

      Hi Rhonda.

      I voted no, but not for the reasons you think. I voted that way because I don’t like the concept of “senior living facilities,” as, in my personal experience with them (long story…), those tend to end up being very sad and lonely places. That’s because there are no mixed age groups there, often there are no mixed races, no families, no children, etc. For the same reasons, that’s why I would never live in a “senior” neighborhood. I like the diversity and energy that comes from living where there is a mixture of young and old, families, singles, different races, etc.



    • #712757
      karley delaware
      Baroness - Annual

      Oh my gosh  YES!!!!!   It would be frowned upon anywhere else and I would have to give up my dressing ……….NO!!!    I would rather die alone dressed as Karley ……………………….feeling pretty and girly…………………….If you can’t be  yourself……………..then what’s the point???    Maybe next time around………………I will be that girl!!!!!    karley

    • #712763
      Rhonda Lee
      Baroness - Annual

      I contacted Longfellow Commons and learned that they are building a facility that will open in the spring of 2024. It consists of two buildings with independent living (not assisted living) units. It will have activity directors, a speakeasy, and other amenities to promote social interactions. It is designed for the 55+ community. It is not necessary to be LGBTQ; residents are expected to consist of a broad mix, but the clear message is that there will be a welcoming, accepting atmosphere designed to help the LGBTQ population feel at home.

      There is an affiliation with UC Churches. There are communities scattered throughout Ohio and other states, which would be welcoming but not as focused on the LGBTQ population. While this is a fairly unique concept, they said there is an unrelated facility in Miami, Florida, which they said they will try to research for me.

      The director mentioned Ruby Girls as a group of potential interest and will send me information on that. Has anyone heard of them?

      There is a mutual interest in this venture. They would like me to collaborate with them. I’m sure the results of this survey would be information of interest (no names, and nothing confidential shared, but results of polls like this could guide their knowledge of potential interest in expanding this concept.) I am personally intrigued to the point of traveling (as Rhonda of course) to meet the directors and present demographic information which might help them learn more and design programs and services that might appeal to the crossdressing community. Perhaps I could even start a facility on the lake where I manage property. The lake is close to Asheville, NC, which is very LGBT -friendly and could be a good source from which to draw interested parties. There is nothing of this nature, to their knowledge, in North Carolina. That could be a fun venture to add to my bucket list. If anyone wants to share or participate, please PM me.

    • #712780
      Caty Ryan

      I already live in what here in OZ we call a “retirement village”. All independent units with a common community centre for recreation. Most  residents are still living a relaxed independent lifestyle. IE no maintenance, (no lawns to cut, etc… YAY!!!)

      Next stop here other than “straight to the box”, is aged care. Just a single room  and  shared facilities. Caty is very much hoping it will be straight to the box. Not only cos I doubt if many of them close to where I live now are LBGTI friendly and therefore would be a real crimp on Caty’s lifestyle, but also cos “male me” has other interests, eg  (Australian only!!)wine collecting, cellaring and imbibing, which just would not work in aged care.

      Happy dressing and (hopefully) long independent  living



      • #712805
        Rhonda Lee
        Baroness - Annual

        I am a wine connoisseur also. Bad for heartburn and my hiatal hernia, but we all make sacrifices for what we most want.  Did I mention the facility has a speak-easy? (bar)

    • #712784
      Carolyn Kay
      Baroness - Annual

      I did check yes, but I know that it is just another one of many dreams I have that will never come true. Sigh.

      • #712811
        Rhonda Lee
        Baroness - Annual

        doesn’t need to be a dream. You could help make it happen if you want!

    • #712793

      What a thought provoking article and timely as I turn 75 next month …for the last 14 years , like Caty, I have been living in a55+ community where independent living gives me (and wife) freedom from snow removal, clubhouse with indoor/outdoor pool, a gym, to maintain my girly figure lol, and activities to keep us busy… I do have the opportunity to dress in my own home but it is a challenge for Leonara to go out and about. (However, I wrote an CDH article on my first cd/tg party and how I met that challenge)                         I answered the poll: mixed feelings: would love to but I cannot imagine being that open… however, if I could borrow the author’s thought, “a place where I can freely dress and act as I prefer, and find caretakers who would help me continue to dress and help me look my femme best” Although now it would be a fantasy, but maybe in a few years, it may be a reality to explore and add a new meaning to “assisted living”.                   Thanks for listening.. hugs,  Leonara

    • #712810

      I had actually read of a facility where a resident was crossdressing.  The gist of the article was that all of the residents were fine with it, so nobody cared, and accepted the person freely.  So, I said, sign me up.  But I’m not sure I’d really do it, but it would be very appealing, but on the other hand, I’m not sure I want to dress all the time.  Sorry for the dual personality answer, but I know that Jennifer would love it, the other me, isn’t sure.

    • #712880

      With only 4 in the country, I don’t think I would really have an opportunity to find an LGBTQ+ friendly place. If I did, I’d be happy to attend.

      I don’t necessarily need to present as a woman. This is more an acquired taste, something that I need to do to be able to go out in the world. So I wouldn’t really need a beauty salon, except for perhaps keeping up with my waxing.

    • #712893

      Very good topic. For someone like me hun. I need to be able to be a woman 24/7 for real or dress as one all the time sweetie. Like no shaving the whole me cause of old age is a not happening sister. If my hair grows back I’ll be hairy again. Ew!

      • This reply was modified 1 year ago by Julie.
      • This reply was modified 1 year ago by Julie.
    • #713203

      i choose other for the reason i have county property to move too this summer

    • #745057

      I thank you for your question, but I wouldn’t be seeking any LGBTQ groups

      I don’t even see myself as a LGBTQ member or see myself as transgender

      The way I see it, I’m just a dude that likes wearing women’s clothing. Nothing more, nothing less.


    • #745064

      I’m afraid that if I require assisted living, it would be sponsored by the VA or other government facility.

    • #745067

      Checking out before that becomes a necessity.

    • #745088

      I voted a definite yes.Sounds like it would be a good place to live.
      I’m hoping that by the time we are considering such a place , the increasing acceptance that’s happened I’ve the past couple of decades will be commonplace.

      My wife already tells me if I reach the stage where I’m sitting around a lot it’ll have to be in a dress lol

      • #745168
        Rhonda Lee
        Baroness - Annual

        What a great wife you have!I am pleased to see this topic recirculate. I just got a tax assessment on the property I’d like to donate to this cause. It is super-high.. over $100,000/acre for raw land. There is no other lakefront property of more than 25 acres within a 4-state surrounding area that is for sale or has sold within the past 3 years, so is truly one of a kind. I intend to follow up with the Church homes to show them the value of the property and see if I can entice them to start a facility there. They have been slow to respond because they are absorbed in other projects,but I’d love to see the land used this way. From this poll it is clear that it would sell out quickly. I told them they could have the land. I only want to have a majority voting interest so as to be confident it will be used for the purposes intended. Perhaps I could just deed restrict it to require that some percentage of the residents identify as LGBTQ. maybe there should be other requirements… such as a nail or beauty salon. Ideas welcome.

        • This reply was modified 1 year ago by Rhonda Lee.
    • #745135
      Roberta Broussard
      Duchess - Annual

      Like many others, I just don’t envision myself sitting around much.

      However, if I was to enter an AL facility. Seems.  to me they could care more about me going around naked then if I wore a dress. So, I would I would just pick a nice one close by my children.

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