How will you indulge your Crossdressing Desires if in Assisted Living?

[Rhonda Lee]

Many of us are aging and face a dilemma: Can I continue to crossdress if I move to an adult community or need assistance, or will I have to live my last days in stealth before being thrust 6 feet under?

I am considering using lake property I manage to form a senior living community.  I subscribe to a periodical “Seniors Housing Business” which could prove a source for attracting buyers. An article caught my attention “United Church Homes plans Longfellow Commons LGBTQ-friendly community in Ohio” This community targets LGBTQ seniors in Dayton. The founder claims to be only the fourth such community in the nation. They note that this segment of the population often experiences adverse treatment when seeking seniors housing. I haven’t investigated to determine if they attract the full spectrum… both “LGB” and “T”, but if the community is akin to my experience with Metropolitan Community Churches, where I have found extremely positive, welcoming, accepting friends, where I can freely dress and act as I prefer, the thought of finding caretakers who would help me continue to dress, salons that would indulge my desire to style my hair, paint my nails, give me makeovers, and help me look my femme best when I cannot… the very services reserved for women in most such facilities..  is very appealing. There may be some in my family who would never visit, but I can carry on without them. They have already consigned me to the funny farm, so maybe the last laugh will be on them.

I’d love to hear from others. Would you seek out such a facility?

9 users thanked author for this post.

Denise Tano, Jennifer Connolly, AnnaBeth Black, Leonara, Carolyn Kay, Susan Talbot, Peggy Sue Williams, Allysa Grant

Topic

[Саманта]

when i can no longer care for myself, my time here is done.
there will be no assisted living facility in my future, lgbtq or otherwise.

2 users thanked author for this post.

Camryn Occasionnel, karley delaware

[Lucinda Hawkns]

i choose other for the reason i have county property to move too this summer

[Julie]

Very good topic. For someone like me hun. I need to be able to be a woman 24/7 for real or dress as one all the time sweetie. Like no shaving the whole me cause of old age is a not happening sister. If my hair grows back I’ll be hairy again. Ew!

• This reply was modified 4 months ago by Julie.
• This reply was modified 4 months ago by Julie.

[Alison Anderson]

With only 4 in the country, I don’t think I would really have an opportunity to find an LGBTQ+ friendly place. If I did, I’d be happy to attend.

I don’t necessarily need to present as a woman. This is more an acquired taste, something that I need to do to be able to go out in the world. So I wouldn’t really need a beauty salon, except for perhaps keeping up with my waxing.

[Jennifer Connolly]

I had actually read of a facility where a resident was crossdressing.  The gist of the article was that all of the residents were fine with it, so nobody cared, and accepted the person freely.  So, I said, sign me up.  But I’m not sure I’d really do it, but it would be very appealing, but on the other hand, I’m not sure I want to dress all the time.  Sorry for the dual personality answer, but I know that Jennifer would love it, the other me, isn’t sure.

3 users thanked author for this post.

Clarissa Cross, Becky Davis, Leonara

[Leonara]

What a thought provoking article and timely as I turn 75 next month …for the last 14 years , like Caty, I have been living in a55+ community where independent living gives me (and wife) freedom from snow removal, clubhouse with indoor/outdoor pool, a gym, to maintain my girly figure lol, and activities to keep us busy… I do have the opportunity to dress in my own home but it is a challenge for Leonara to go out and about. (However, I wrote an CDH article on my first cd/tg party and how I met that challenge)                         I answered the poll: mixed feelings: would love to but I cannot imagine being that open… however, if I could borrow the author’s thought, “a place where I can freely dress and act as I prefer, and find caretakers who would help me continue to dress and help me look my femme best” Although now it would be a fantasy, but maybe in a few years, it may be a reality to explore and add a new meaning to “assisted living”.                   Thanks for listening.. hugs,  Leonara

6 users thanked author for this post.

Clarissa Cross, Camryn Occasionnel, Ambermaria Martinez, Becky Davis, Carolyn Kay, Rhonda Lee

[Carolyn Kay]

I did check yes, but I know that it is just another one of many dreams I have that will never come true. Sigh.

3 users thanked author for this post.

Leonara, Clarissa Cross, Camryn Occasionnel

[Rhonda Lee]

doesn’t need to be a dream. You could help make it happen if you want!

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Clarissa Cross, Carolyn Kay

[Caty Ryan]

I already live in what here in OZ we call a “retirement village”. All independent units with a common community centre for recreation. Most  residents are still living a relaxed independent lifestyle. IE no maintenance, (no lawns to cut, etc… YAY!!!)

Next stop here other than “straight to the box”, is aged care. Just a single room  and  shared facilities. Caty is very much hoping it will be straight to the box. Not only cos I doubt if many of them close to where I live now are LBGTI friendly and therefore would be a real crimp on Caty’s lifestyle, but also cos “male me” has other interests, eg  (Australian only!!)wine collecting, cellaring and imbibing, which just would not work in aged care.

Happy dressing and (hopefully) long independent  living

 

Caty.

5 users thanked author for this post.

Camryn Occasionnel, Alice Underwire, Rhonda Lee, Leonara, Michelle Brown

[Rhonda Lee]

I am a wine connoisseur also. Bad for heartburn and my hiatal hernia, but we all make sacrifices for what we most want.  Did I mention the facility has a speak-easy? (bar)

[Rhonda Lee]

I contacted Longfellow Commons and learned that they are building a facility that will open in the spring of 2024. It consists of two buildings with independent living (not assisted living) units. It will have activity directors, a speakeasy, and other amenities to promote social interactions. It is designed for the 55+ community. It is not necessary to be LGBTQ; residents are expected to consist of a broad mix, but the clear message is that there will be a welcoming, accepting atmosphere designed to help the LGBTQ population feel at home.

There is an affiliation with UC Churches. There are communities scattered throughout Ohio and other states, which would be welcoming but not as focused on the LGBTQ population. While this is a fairly unique concept, they said there is an unrelated facility in Miami, Florida, which they said they will try to research for me.

The director mentioned Ruby Girls as a group of potential interest and will send me information on that. Has anyone heard of them?

There is a mutual interest in this venture. They would like me to collaborate with them. I’m sure the results of this survey would be information of interest (no names, and nothing confidential shared, but results of polls like this could guide their knowledge of potential interest in expanding this concept.) I am personally intrigued to the point of traveling (as Rhonda of course) to meet the directors and present demographic information which might help them learn more and design programs and services that might appeal to the crossdressing community. Perhaps I could even start a facility on the lake where I manage property. The lake is close to Asheville, NC, which is very LGBT -friendly and could be a good source from which to draw interested parties. There is nothing of this nature, to their knowledge, in North Carolina. That could be a fun venture to add to my bucket list. If anyone wants to share or participate, please PM me.

1 user thanked author for this post.

Clarissa Cross

[karley delaware]

Oh my gosh  YES!!!!!   It would be frowned upon anywhere else and I would have to give up my dressing ……….NO!!!    I would rather die alone dressed as Karley ……………………….feeling pretty and girly…………………….If you can’t be  yourself……………..then what’s the point???    Maybe next time around………………I will be that girl!!!!!    karley

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Rhonda Lee

[Anonymous]

Hi Rhonda.

I voted no, but not for the reasons you think. I voted that way because I don’t like the concept of “senior living facilities,” as, in my personal experience with them (long story…), those tend to end up being very sad and lonely places. That’s because there are no mixed age groups there, often there are no mixed races, no families, no children, etc. For the same reasons, that’s why I would never live in a “senior” neighborhood. I like the diversity and energy that comes from living where there is a mixture of young and old, families, singles, different races, etc.

Hugs,

Holly

5 users thanked author for this post.

Clarissa Cross, Саманта, Rhonda Lee, Susan Talbot, Peggy Sue Williams

[Lorraine Lowry]

Great point!

2 users thanked author for this post.

Susan Talbot

[Emily Alt]

An LGBTQ friendly facility would be an appealing nicety.  Regardless, my wardrobe comes with me if I ever land in one of these places.

4 users thanked author for this post.

Clarissa Cross, Susan Talbot, Peggy Sue Williams, Allysa Grant

[Rhonda Lee]

You go girl! Wouldn’t it be nice to gather around a TV in the speak-easy, wearing a nice dress, made up with hair freshly styled and nails painted professionally, and feel totally at ease among others doing the same? I have experienced a taste of that at MCCs; not only I but others comment that it delights them to see me so comfortable in my own skin…. not a disapproving glance in the place. That wardrobe should not remain in a closet for sure!

1 user thanked author for this post.

Clarissa Cross

[Julia Reynolds]

I certainly would if I had a need for such a facility.  I just turned 70, so this is is something to think about.  XO – Julia

6 users thanked author for this post.

Clarissa Cross, Rhonda Lee, Susan Talbot, Peggy Sue Williams, Allysa Grant

[Author]

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