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I have been out the last 2 afternoon/evenings solo — visiting a local casino, a restaurant, and a few shops – and it got me thinking about past “Close Calls”. You know, those times when you were out dressed to the nines and saw a friend or work associate who doesn’t know about your “softer side”. I have faced that close call a few times, but it was usually with a Girl Friend or 2 by my side.
The first time was at our local casino. We were headed to the bar when one of the ladies with me (Sarah) stopped in her tracks and turned to me, blocking the aisle. She had seen a couple we both knew and positioned herself between me and them until they passed. (Had they seen her, I’m sure they would have approached us, but thankfully they didn’t) The exact same incident took place at a restaurant, this time with 3 GF’s, and watchful Sarah stepped in and ran interference again. (She is SO protective of Julie!) The third was all me – Linda and I were at the grocery store buying a bottle of wine for the evening’s film fest when I spotted an office aquaintence down the aisle. I did a quick 180, grabbing Linda with me, and explained why we were taking a detour.
Oh, and I almost forgot two solo events – sitting in Starbucks enjoying a cup of coffee facing the door when a “mild” business aquaintence entered. She placed her order, glanced in my direction, got her drink and headed out. She either never saw me or it just didn’t register. But in EACH instance, my adrenaline spiked! The other was when I was out of town on business. I was working closely with 3 men daily, but Julie would get out in the evenings. I was sitting at the bar at Applebee’s and one of the men came out of the restroom and was headed for the door- right past where I was sitting. Couldn’t hide, couldn’t leave, I just pulled out my compact and studied my face in the mirror. He walked by and never batted an eye.
Do these events stop me from going out? Hell no! But they make me more aware of my surroundings, which isn’t a bad thing.
I tend not to go out where I live and only on business trips with few exceptions. In March 2020 just before covid shutdown travel, I was sitting in a marriott courtyard just finishing dinner and having wine when I a guy who works for a company we deal with and whom I’ve seen over the years for at least 15-20 years sat down at another table a few tables away. He was facing away from me mostly and talking to someone at another table. It was also in a city that neither of us lives in so he would not be expecting to see me. I got my check and took my wine to my room. I’m sure he saw glimpses of me but I was sure not to make eye contact or look towards him. It definitely gets the adrenaline going but you don’t want to freak out and do anything unusual.
Oh how I used to worry about that happening. It occurred a few times in my past and I was petrified. It happened in the street and in restaurants. I know that, as a natural habit, people would gaze around and would no doubt see me among many. The thing is that I look nothing like the person they know and aren’t out to look for me. My companions would laugh and say I shouldn’t worry and there were never any issues. Now it isn’t an issue at all. It’s a phase we go through when we take those tentative steps. The more we gain confidence and take care the less it matters.
Hi Julie
I’ve had a couple of times when I have been out as Janine that I actually walked up to a co worker who knows me but didn’t recognize me. My heart was racing and I couldn’t believe that he didn’t know that it was me. Not even a second look. It confirmed to me that I can pass as a female. But it still makes me try to be on the lookout for anyone who might recognize me whenever I am out dressed en femme. I can relate to how you must have felt when you were out with your girlfriend’s Stay safe and diligent.
A friend
Janine
Oh my, I’m not sure my blood pressure could take it!
Angela said that when she’s out and about, she looks “nothing like the person they know”. As I’ve worked a bit on makeup and now have an ok wig, I wonder if I’m recognizable to friends or acquaintances. When I see Clara, I still very much see “him” too. I am not convinced that anybody who knows the male me wouldn’t immediately recognize me no matter how good the presentation. How can I be sure? Anybody else come across this? Love to hear your thoughts.
No, no. You must be mistaken.
My name’s Clara.I have the same experience, Sweetie – all I see in my mirror is “him”. But the plus for me is that “he” has very little hair. So with a full wig on, I become less recognizable to those who know me. Add to that the fact that most people really don’t see those around them, and passing becomes that much easier.
Yes and YES! Being out (especially in the day time) is an exhilerating experience. And knowing that others look at you and only see a woman is marvelous. But almost running into someone you only know in male mode – that moment of adrenaline rush – is exciting, scary, thrilling, challenging,and FUN! (well, since I am an actor I see it as fun. The challenge of creating a character that everyone fully believes in)
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