Thank you for your candid thoughts. Your story sounds similar to mine. I found myself amazed at how good panties felt the very first time I put on a pair of girlfriends panties because they were simply the closest thing at hand. That was 25 yrs ago. I have been trying to find self acceptance ever since. That is why I have joined this site. I very much need to be able to love all of myself. I have experienced a wide range of emotions that drive my desire to be and feel femme. Sometimes that includes a desire to be free of the weight of my masculine world. Sometimes it just feels safe. It seems like CD takes me all over the emotional map. Something along the lines of terrific to terrifying. I would probably be labeled a sissyboy. Not to sure what to make of all of that. I hope to find greater self acceptance and thusly inner peace by joining this site. Thank you again for your sharing.