Hello Tricia,
We all understand your hurt. Most women do not understand CD. Anyone who told you this would be easy has not been there. For most of us, the best we can hope for is tolerance. I think that many (maybe most) woman are as traditional as most men. Regardless of the efforts of the LGBTQ community, our gender orientation is pretty fragile. To suggest that a man wants to emulate their femininity is threatening to, I believe, most women. And, the better you do it, the more impact it will likely have.
So, the next question is, what will you do next? Assuming she comes back, should you give it up, complete the purge, and pretend things are back to “normal?” Or, if your true confession was real, do your continue in an effort to help her understand you are the same person you have always been, but that the real you has a different set of components that have made you unique, special, and worthy. The cat is out of the bag.
If it was worth trying before, it is more so now. I suggest that you comb the archives of CDH and other sites for the memoirs of others like us. And, right now, ask for our help to write letters to your wife on our very own CD perspectives. If you believe you are disordered, you can give it up and seek a cure. If you know you are a good person with interesting inclinations, hang on to your sincerity, tell her you’re sorry, but that you want her to understand more about the man she’s known and loved for years.
FAM
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