Firstly I am so proud of you for sharing your feelings honestly, the good and difficult. I like others here see a therapist and that has made a world of difference in my life. For me daily meditation is so so helpful. I use the Calm app and really try to do it each day. I am usually a very positive person with a great outlook on life, but with the difficulties I have with my S.O. in so many ways. My cross dressing is only one of them. The corvid crises is another stressor and I finally went to my doctor at my therapist recommendation and started a mild anti depressant. It really lifted the cloud of depression I was in. Your mileage may vary. I am just saying that there are ways to get help. You don’t have to do it alone. Cross Dresser Heaven has been a wonderful place for listening ears and shared experiences. The lady’s here are kind and accepting of you and your struggles. We are so willing to listen and with everyone’s levels of experience, I think we have seen it all. Keep sharing and expressing your feelings. Writing it out and using us as a sounding board is a great thing for all of us, regardless of where you are in your journey.
With love and encouragement..
Giant hugs to you Stevie,