Thank you for your replies!
Sunita- I do not plan on leaving him. he is truly my other half and has shown me nothing but understanding and compassion in this adjustment in our lives. We have both been through a lot and we will continue to move forward together.
Samantha- I actually just posted my first question in the SO forum. I have been lurking for a few days now and finally had the courage to ask a question. My questions mostly revolve around the “whys”, so therapy I think will be helpful with that, but it is so nice to hear all of these other wives who have similar experiences as me.