When I was in high school, I dreamed about undergoing the surgery, living life as a woman. I fantasized of being in a scenario like the movie “The World, the Flesh, and the Devil,” wake up to find humanity gone but the buildings and everything else intact, living in department stores to dress like a woman, eating canned goods, etc., from supermarkets. Of course the loneliness would be crushing but let’s sweep that aside for the sake of the fantasy lol.
As time went on that became a more infrequent fantasy, preferring to imagine being a cisgender woman, having a husband and living a daily life in dresses, makeup, getting my hair done, no big deal at all. Oh to be born a female!
It was all around this time that I started to look at guys sexually as well as women. That became my main fantasy, at least of those that strayed from the crossdressing and heterosexual ones. But it was as an adult I realized that I wanted to be in Leah the woman that I was attracted to. How jungian!