Paragraph 3 – I think that is a common problem ( apart from the “ shock” that may occur when they realise.) what is so important is that you know how she might feel, and then the talk is likely to be fruitful.
I agree with you- the moth/ candle. A good analogy. Same here.
Of course, some of our family here only have one fan- the camera.
So, why do we do it? Maybe it is because we love it and it’s part of the celebration. After all, we take photos at birthdays, weddings, parties, graduations, etc. Using a camera is quite normal , I believe. But not all feel obliged, not all dare the risk, not all seek the look and the feel is probably all that is needed. We are all aware of our own thoughts. It’s good that you are also aware of your wife’ s thoughts too.
How about the moment she sees you
but doesn’t recognise you?????