Hi Tara,
Good for you for telling your wife, I’m the wife who has recently been told and I really loved your emphasis on time and caution. I also suffered (as well as my husband) what I now know (thanks to you) is called “the dreaded whiplash.” I think a period to just pause things and let her digest everything is paramount to success. Wives are complicated creatures and can be unpredictable. It is easy to first be fine with everything because you truly do feel fine with it, even supportive as well. Then out of seemingly nowhere, feelings of anger and resentment pop up and are not even understood by the wife who feels them. I don’t know why it made me angry that he shaved his legs and used my razor. I’m not sure why panties disgusted me after many days in a row. I don’t know why it made me angry when I was doing the laundry and found things that he was underdressing with. I do know why some of his spending made me angry and resentful and that is because the spending was too much at once and I resent him having better things than I buy for myself. We have since learned that we didn’t take the time needed to fully digest all this and any couple that has successfully been through this would have seen our mistakes a mile away. Needless to say, we are finding our way. A few helpful pointers (after communication and honesty) are to make your wife feel special during this process. My husband took the time to learn what sort of lingerie I would like to wear and ordered me a few things to feel special. We spent time picking out new nail polish colors to share and he springs for the really good stuff so it is a win for us both. He wants to get good enough at painting nails so that we can do each other’s toes. What woman wouldn’t want her nails painted? We have a spa retreat booked for later this month to celebrate our anniversary and being able to do that together is a benefit of having a husband and a girlfriend all wrapped up in one!
Best wishes,
Betty
Recent Comments