Harriet –
There isn’t much I can add that the others haven’t already said.
I came out to my wife over 2 years ago and it has been a roller coaster ride since. When I first came out to her we came to an agreement that my dressing would stay in the house and that she didn’t want to see me dressed. Shortly after I came out to her she talked with one of her friends that could be trusted about it. She didn’t tell me before she did but I was okay with it as she needed to do that for herself. She also told one of her brothers who could be trusted. She got good advice from each of them which helped in her acceptance. Based on those conversations she suggested I see a therapist, not to stop but to understand my dressing and how it fit into my life. I did start therapy and it has helped me tremendously. I encourage everyone to do therapy as it helps to discover who you are. My therapist doesn’t give advice, she listens and asks questions that cause me to reveal parts of myself I have denied.
I am sorry to hear that you purged but can understand. There was a point where my wife asked me if my dressing was just a phase I was going through which caused me to stop. I didn’t purge but did put things away for awhile. After a period of time we had another conversation and she realized the effect dressing has on me. Since then we have had other conversations about my dressing most of which have been positive. Needless to say there are always going to bumps n the road but conversation is what gets us through those.
I hope this helps a bit. If you would like I am available to share more of my journey with you. Feel free to PM me.
XOXO
Suzanne
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