Isshe, I agree with you about goals and pruning back my desire to be honest with myself for the sake of my SO.
I am back to dressing in secret, limiting myself to ‘stealth mode’ when out in public, my SO seems to vacillate between accepting to flat out intolerance.
It is not a smooth journey, we are all just trying to get on with life. My advice is to be truthful, 100% truthful, and let the chips fall where they may. The deception is not healthy for you, your wife, or your marriage.