Welcome to CDH.
Our journey’s are personal and each is different, there is no map to follow or destination to reach except for what you are comfortable with. As others have said there is a sexual component to dressing and I think that has been experienced by many. I have experienced the feeling you describe at times and it can be confusing. I think part of that is the guilt and shame I had from growing up hiding this part of myself.
I have been doing therapy since shortly coming out to my wife about my dressing. She suggested it and I think it has helped me tremendously. Personally I think in person therapy is best when first starting as it is hard to “hide” when you are right in front to the person you are talking to. The most important part of therapy, in my opinion, is to be honest with yourself, if you aren’t then you are wasting your time and money. It takes a lot to be ablet o do that but it is so freeing beiung able to admit who you are and to be able to accept that part of yourself.
Best of luck to you on your journey. I hope to meet you in chat.