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When I am dressed, I am Sarah! I do not think male thoughts,, or feelings! I find that I prefer all things female, magazines, chick flicks, men! I am not gay, as men do not attract me when not dressed, but when I’m Sarah I am attracted to them. Their faces, bodies, scents, everything about them! Yes, when dressed I am sexually attracted to them! I have none of these feelings, or thoughts when not dressed as Sarah, then I am sexually attracted to women!
Have I been with a man? Maybe if your a friend I will confide that with you!
When dressed I am Tisha. I love being Tisha and feeling like a lady and acting like a lady. When I am Tisha all my male tendencies are thrown out the window. As Tisha I enjoy the feminine things like music, movies, and all things femme. As Tisha I find men attractive and love going out as Tisha. It makes me feel sexy, beautiful and comfortable to be Tisha.
Thanks Sarah, Interesting question and one that I have asked myself many times.
My current feeling is that I am the same person however I dress. I am a man, I like stereotypical “manly” things, well some of them, but I also have a more nurturing and emotional side, I side that I have hidden most of my life with the exception of a few outlets. It does not matter how feminine I dress, I am not attracted to men. The only difference I feel when dressed is that I feel complete because I am expressing that feminine aspect of my personality that I have worked so hard to hide.DeLora, I’m so happy to read this. I believe this is what my husband has been trying to get me to understand but as most of the profiles and posts I have read it seems a larger percentage of cross dressers identify as female at least part of the time and I didn’t fully believe him. Thank you for your representation. I’m also so happy that read that you able to attain a sense of completeness within your self, I think that can be a difficult task for all humans.
Hi Stephanie,
Here is my second attempt to respond to this, CDH logged me out last time!
There is a broad spectrum of folks here on CDH from guys that may occasionally slip on a pair of panties or stockings to trans-women who live full time as women. We are all little points along that spectrum and it can be very confusing. I know I spent more than 30 years being confused about where my place on the spectrum is. It has only been since accepting CDing as a valid part of me that I have been able to pick apart my confusion and start to understand who I am.
I can’t speak for your husband, but I suspect he has had similar doubts and has spent many hours pondering his place on the spectrum. if not he is a lucky man!Although CDH is a very welcoming and helpful place I suspect it in not an accurate representation of the crossdressing – trans spectrum. Many CDs are totally in the closet and may not be comfortable with their CDing and so don’t reach out even to a friendly place like CDH, I know I was that way until just a few months ago. But those further along the spectrum have no choice but to be out and will more readily seek out support like CDH. Just a speculation.
All the best to you both,
DeLora.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Hi Ladies,</p>
I like this topic!! I am just me no matter what. Wearing womans clothing does not transform me into something that I am not while not in womans clothing. Clothing is simply an object and an object does not have the power to change your personality or characteristics. If you are attracted to men while dressed as a woman, then you always have had this attraction. Your subconscious simply gives you permission to feel the attraction because your presenting female and in your thinking mind, you believe that it’s now OK to express those deep seeded feelings. I am Pansexual and I am attracted to positive, sincere energy but it never changes if I am presenting male or female. I am more “comfortable” making love to a guy while dressed only because I am looking for his acceptance. I live 24/7, 365 as a girl, on HRT and hopefully transitioning soon and I have found that none of this transforms us, there is no magic pill, we are who we are male or female, everything else is pretending in the mind.As I’ve said before, I am Heather and feel feminine no matter what I’m wearing. I actually got told at a party one night by my wife that I should tone it down a bit, some people were giving me strange looks.
I find that when I am totally in the “Amy zone”, I am still quite attracted to women, and not men. So, in that context I’m more of a Lesbian than anything else. While out dressed I try to be careful with how I look at cis women, not like a man would, when you are trying to subtly checking out their bums and boobs, but just to look at their fashions, etc.
Amy
Everybody is different.
I’m with those who have expressed that they are the same exact persona regardless of how they are dressed. “Becoming” a different persona depending on the clothes you are wearing… Well, I hope it works for those who feel that way. Must be harder for those around you I’d think. (But then again, I may be totally wrong! *LOL*)
Gaby
This is a very interesting topic that relates to a lot of how I feel about myself. And all the different responses are even more fascinating. I know we’re all different but I was not expecting such a wide variety, so, as has been said elsewhere – viva la difference. For myself, who is the only person I can talk about, I feel that I’m fully heterosexual. When I’m in male mode I have little trouble holding my own. I won’t go so far as to spit and chew, but I’ll get down and dirty trying to fix a cranky tractor engine, or drink beer with my buds, share intimate moments with my spouse. No problem. But when I’m in female mode, a change does take place. I discovered that about myself during an extended time dressed – 4 consecutive days. Many of the parts of life we tend to assume as something women take to a little more than men, to me it felt like they were part of me. Laundry including ironing, cleaning the house, top to bottom, preparing meals, sewing items that needed it, they all felt normal and getting them done gave me positive feelings, looking over a clean house, clean clothes, a tasty meal. Yet in male mode, at best I can take or leave all those chores, they’re just chores that give me no particular satisfaction in completing. And as I mentioned above, I’m hetero, fully. so in female mode, I do think of men as the opposite sex, sometimes even as partners. Not specifically known men, because I hardly ever get out, but, having male companionship besides having female friends are in my thoughts. Dressing makes it easier, but I can get fairly far into it in just quiet times, where it’s just me and my thoughts. Now, in defense of marriage, I feel I’m happily married and I love my spouse. We’re older but we’ve been together a long time, have 2 grown daughters, one who is married and has children, and I have another adult child from a previous marriage with almost adult children. I wouldn’t give any of them up for anything. There were maybe a couple of moments early in my adult life where I seriously thought of transitioning, but I’m also a big fan of It’s A Wonderful Life’ and I don’t care to imagine what might NOT have been had I chosen a different path. I chose this one, and I have to live with that decision, as well as accept what I am, and, at times, yield to these urges.
Such a variety of responses to a very valid question. May I muddy the waters even more? I consider myself genderfluid and monogamous in a sexless marriage. My wife’s decision solely. She is aware of my CDing but does not want involved in any way.
The more I explore my feminity the more I find myself attracted to male anatomy. It seems natural to me when dressed as Mina. Partial dressing is a cheap bandaid for the urges I now feel. Mina likes to go full bore.
The sensations when feeling totally femme are sublime. Aside from the clothes, cosmetics, scents, being smooth, on and on, there is contentment. Am I preaching to the choir? Sorry girls.
Point being, when I am presenting that way, I want a man! Don’t genetic girls, feeling totally femme, all the time, want the same thing?
And yes to the question. If I were to find myself alone in this world, I would be 24/7.
Hugs Mina
I’ve thought a lot about this thread since I first read it. I have been trying to understand the thoughts and feelings I have as Stephanie for years. I recently made a breakthrough.
For a long time, I did not acknowledged my feminine side, Stephanie, as being part of the real me. I told myself that Stephanie is just a character that I play to escape the real world for a while. It was as if the masculine me was writing and directing a play, giving lines and directions to Stephanie. Now, I realize that Stephanie’s thoughts, words and actions are my own. Stephanie is a part of me. I am Stephanie, in the same way that I am Steve. I don’t know if it is due to hormones, some stimulus to which I was exposed as a child, or some other mental or physical factor, but I’ve concluded that I do indeed have a masculine side and feminine side. And, I need to find the right ratio of masculine and feminine. So far I have live at least 90% of my life completely in masculine mode. I have only been able to get fully into feminine mode within the last 10 years, and when I did, it was only for a few hours at a time. I know from experience that I can’t live 100% masculine/0% feminine. 90% masculine/10% feminine doesn’t work either. Should I be living 50%/50%, 10% masculine/90% feminine, or 0% masculine/100% feminine? I don’t know. I’m working on answering that question now.
How does that all relate to the topic? I too am 100% femme when dressed. When I dress, I go all the way. I want to think, look, talk, walk, and act like any “normal” woman would. Included in all that feminine behavior is an attraction to men and a desire to have men find me attractive. When en femme, I am a heterosexual woman. When being my masculine self, I am a heterosexual man. Some of you will argue that I am really bi-sexual and I just won’t admit it. I submit that those who say that are wrong. Here’s why. If I were bi-sexual and just used my cross-dressing to justify my attraction to men, then I wouldn’t need to be in feminine mode to be attracted to guys. I could be in masculine mode, see a guy, think he’s attractive and then go into feminine mode. That never happens though. The ebb and flow of my masculine and feminine sides just happens. Changes in my thoughts and feelings seem to just come out of nowhere. And every time I’ve ever found myself interested in men, enjoying the attention they’ve given me, I was already in feminine mode.
I agree with those who say that the clothes do not change who we are. However, who we are determines the clothes we chose to wear and how we interact with others.
I think you are right, when I am dressed I do seem to act more feminine without trying. I’ve noticed even little things like bending down, when dressed I bend with the knees like a lady, not like a man. Great post….xx
What a great topic. I’ve thought of this a lot and I’m still not sure where I fit with this but I know my feeling change when I’m dressed. Hoping to explore this more myself sometime soon. So great to know there are other wondering the same. Hope to chat with you all.
Crystal
Stay out of my fog!
100% is the figure I would attach to the level we confuse homosexual men. Whatever you like personally, I am not even sure if I am ready to fulfill my “faux-les” dreams and be with a GG intimately, let alone interact with males of any designation. My sensitive and sensual performances as a classical musician have confused a virtual cortege of gay men as well. But here’s the rub guys, whether it’s the deliciously wonderful “pink fog” of Harietta or the spiritual and etherial white moment of truly connecting with an audience with Mozart or Bach, it is 100% gauche to intrude and thereby ruin the moment.
Evidence: Two trips to Serenity Spa in Kingston, Ontario. The first visit was a revelation as my wonderful makeover was done without a mirror, as in:”Trust us sister, you’ll love your new hair and makeup.’ AND I DID. Even better on my second visit because I got a surprise new hair colour from five I’d pre-selected. Wow!, but both visits were ruined by an overly amorous, confused and 100% confused gay assistant.I have not returned. Both times I had to use my male voice and several “F” bombs to spurn the poor boy.
Message: I may be 100% femme, but I am not blind…I see you. Unless I invite you in S.V.P. stay out of my fog
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