- This topic has 30 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by
.
- Posts
Hi Ladies!!!
I was sitting here on CDH reading posts, when I got a text message. The text was from my daughters boyfriend. They share a house and 5 children from previous relationships. They have been together for about 4 years now and only just bought their home nearly a year ago.
The text said “Dad, are you busy?”. I wonderingly responded with “Not really, what’s up?”. He texted he would call in a few minutes. And he did.
He was at the jewelers and was picking up the engagement ring he purchased to give to my daughter. He called to ask for consent. He is a wonderful guy and of course I gave him my consent. He sent me a picture of the ring. It’s gorgeous.
After his first marriage ended in divorce he had stated he would never marry again. I am so glad he has changed his mind.
So as I basked in this good news in front of my computer and the CDH forums….
It was a very fatherly and manly moment. It got me thinking…..
I had to share it, of course. Perhaps a few of my friends here would be upset with me if I didn’t .
So now, here’s the thing, or two things I want to know from all of you.
First I want to know if you haven’t shared anything manly or fatherly because you feel/felt it was not “girlie” enough or didn’t have anything to do with being a CD or trans….. or something you did share despite it not seeming to match the central themes of CDH.
Secondly, since this is one of those ultimate fatherly moments, I wanted to know if you have had one of those “motherly” or “womanly” moments. It could include anything really but in keeping with my experience today, I am mainly asking for experiences as they relates to weddings and marriages.
Hugs and love
Autumn
Hi Autumn what a wonderful thing for you as both a dad/father .. As the first thing kind of goes with the other as when my self and my wife lived In Florida we were foster parents for close to 15 years had about 1000 kids thru our home anyway got the wonderful option to adopt a son and a daughter different times but both young as daughter first was two weeks old and son was a day old straight from hospital .. then all grew up and we moved to Montana any how son got married first and asked me to be a special part in his wedding but wouldn’t say what it was a thank you for his adoption and his up bringing to be the man he is ..so special then last year daughter got married and I am not a very good dancer but pulled her card and I had to dance with her as father daughter dance as we danced she stopped the music and the same as my son announced to everyone that My wife and I had given her the best life a girl could have and she thanked us both in front of everyone at the wedding so I pulled the big girl card there and cried sorry so long but love my kids all 5 of them all married still living …
Stephanie Bass
Steph….that’s such a lovely story…
Not a dry eye in the house xx…..
and can I add…it’s lovely to see you on site Autumn, I have missed you xx
Steph, I pressed the “Thanks” button but that doesn’t seem quite enough. Really. Thank you for posting that. Wonderful story and tells so much about the kind of person you are. So glad you’re here.
Clara
I have goosebumps Stephanie and some tears- wonderful stories about your kids. And their honoring you at the their weddings- so NICE. And the story continues with your upcoming wedding- nicely done.
Hi Mackenzie nice to meet you and thanks for being here and adding to the post I didn’t mean to take away from Autumns post but thought it was part of this story that needed to be told ..
Stephanie
Hi Stephanie!
Don’t you ever feel like you are taking away from another’s post by replying. It’s just like any other conversation and we all contribute what comes to our minds. It’s not a competition, it’s (warning $25.00 word ahead) an amalgamation. Your story is sweet and kind and I love it. You and your wife have a lot to be proud of, helping so many kids. Being recognized in such a way by your children is truly wonderful. Your reply on this post really gives me a better sense of who you are. Isn’t that what we want here?
Hugs
Autumn
Thank you as a sweet friend that you are I like well maybe love to contribute to all the posts just don’t want to step on anyones toes when I came here I was quite lonely as having no friends to be able to discuss this part of my life .. Having a supportive and accepting wife was a blessing but having friends like you and many more here it makes me feel like I have a purpose and have a belonging somewhere thank you for your friendship as all others here I really feel needed ..
💋💋❤❤ Stephanie
-
Autumn I am so happy for your daughter (and you). Congratulations!! As for sharing manly and or femme things I believe we all realize here that we do have “real” lives as our manly counterpart and that being able to share both sides is a blessing. When we lock out either half to make others happy, we are the ones paying the price.
So for me, yesterday was a very “manly” day of changing oil on both our vehicles. I kept thinking how horrible it was on my nails! The best wedding type story was when my oldest “adopted” (long story but we raised my wife’s youngest brother and sister) daughter got married at a quick civil ceremony then several month later were having a real reception. I performed a “wedding” ceremony for them in public and got to include all the criteria for the husband in my do you’s. It was fun for all.
As for femme moments the best was my daughter asking for help/instruction on walking in heels. No, in theory she doesn’t know about my femme side, but little comments tell me otherwise, including her saying she wanted to raid my closet….
🍷C
Carolyn,
A few weeks ago I left my nail polish on my hands to see how my wife and youngest (20) daughter would react. For my wife it wasn’t a big deal other than “you can’t go to work like that”. She has known I wear panties full time since before we were married 4 years ago. My step daughter didn’t say anything until a couple of days later when she let me know her friend was coming over. It was said in a way that led me to believe that it was a warning in case I wanted to do anything about my fingernails. I wasn’t leaving the couch. Her friend ended up meeting her at the curb to drop something off on his way somewhere else so it became a non issue anyways.
I had used a peelable base coat and completely lost one fingernail coating on the second day while working on my fish tanks. Chipped the others quite a bit. The third day I peeled them all off because they were looking shabby. Not quite an oil change, but certainly used my hands in the tanks with gravel and rocks quite a bit.
As for walking in heels, did you tell her to imagine a straight line to walk on?
Hugs
Autumn
-
Autumn I think sometimes our families worry more than us and try to protect us from ourselves and the big bad world. I do try to keep my nails nice but life happens. As for my daughter she is gaining ground. We have worked on it but she is not the slow down and be graceful type, more the run over the world like a charging elephant stampede, super type A. She is a brilliant person and is challenged more by academics than heels. She is a beautiful girl, and hopefully as she grows, her grace and femininity will grow with her. If I am VERY lucky my wifey, her mother, will allow me to help her develop that side and do some shopping along the way.
🍷C
Dear Autumn
Thank you for sharing a happy moment with us and congratulations to all those involved.
Although it seems easy at times to foget when we are spending time here, there are gender males amoung us.
There are many of us that accept our own duality in our being. We can fantasize about being the mother of the bride if we like while still revelling in the socially acceptable role of being the ever proud dad of the ones we helped raise.
If it brings joy, so be it!
Olivia
Autumn,
Holy cow! You read my mind. My daughter’s boyfriend just came to me a couple weeks ago (for the 2nd time) to ask for my blessing in asking my daughter to get married. Last year I said, “not yet,” and we spent a lot of time talking about what it means to be a man, a husband, and a father, (oh, the irony! Lol) and there were some things I wanted to see from him first before I gave my blessing. He spent the last year working on those things, and I was very impressed. He respected what I said, and now I respected what he did about it. So this time I said yes, and my daughter just got engaged a week ago.
And now I have to wistfully watch as my wife and daughter plan a wedding, dresses, flowers, etc. sigh… lol.
My most maternal moment came back when the kids were little and my wife was then supportive of my dressing. I even dressed up once in a while in front of the kids but we always made a game of it (like princess tea time and such). I remember being dressed and kneeling in prayer beside my son’s bed. I prayed, then he prayed, and then I got up to kiss him on his forehead. I had to brush the hair from my face and tuck it behind my ears. His little arms wrapped around my neck and he whispered, “I love you.” And I felt like SUCH a mommy and it was WONDERFUL!
Great thread.
God bless,
StephStephanie that is two great stories, one from each side.
It sounds like you should tell them you would like to help in the planning or at least to be kept extremely up to date on the details….
Hugs
Autumn
Autumn,
I’ve afraid my eagerness could not be masked and it would be a dead giveaway! Instead, i’ll Have to continue to act like the completely disinterested man who pays the bill…lol 😝
So far must of my interactions with my daughter have been great. She took the news of my dressing in stride. I thing mostly because she has been stealing my clothes for years (apparently big and baggy is fashionable).
Yesterday I got a text from her about a new dress she had gotten. She was working in the costume department where she goes to college. So she wore the new dress with one of my old bespoke suit vests over it and apparently everyone raved about the vest. Just like my old Christian D’ore pea coat and my bespoke Chesterfield top coat, my old issue fatigue jacket and a couple of my sweaters. Needless to say I was smaller when I got all those things than I am now.
But she is a very bright and beautiful young woman with good fashion sense. And she is the light of my life, we are great friends.
It is so good to be appreciated.Sometimes I don’t post anything just because I’m in man mode for too long. I’ve had a lot of time there lately, trying to knock down the work list in preparation for my son’s Eagle Scout ceremony that we’ll have here at home out back on the Bay. But first, it’s pain the entry hall, hang new lights, fix the deck, paint the porch, replace this and that, weed and mulch the garden beds… seems endless. I’ve got 5 weeks left, and lots more to do.
Bridgette
Congratulations Autumn in having a very fatherly moment and i hope the best for your daughter and soon to be son in law. I’ve been fortunate to have 3 now adult children two who are married and being able to walk a daughter down the aisle. Its a very special experience that I’ll treasure . And i now have 4 beautiful grandchildren, two who are entering adulthood. I hope to be able to see at least one more wedding, now as a grandparent. All 4 of mine had passed away before their 8 (maternal) and 13(paternal) grandchildren were old enough tho my mother attended 5 of hers.
About womanly moments, well this past Christmas season i changed the last diaper I’ll ever have to, on my youngest grandaughter’ and that closed over 60 years of helping bottle feed, spoon feed and diaper changing my infant sisters, then infant children and finally grandchildren starting when i was 10. Of course with my grandchildren, I’ll still be playing with, reading bedtime stories to (recycling some from my own childhood, and helping raise them when asked which of course will include hugs and kisses being a part of their childhood joys and comforting them in their sorrows because i love all 4 of them dearly.
Well congratulations Autumn! I have a similar fatherly moment a few years ago. I was practising piano for an upcoming recital and my daughter’s boyfriend came in to pick her up for a date, but first he came in and waited till I paused, and then asked me for my permission to ask my daughter to marry him! So very old school I thought. He is a fine young man, and they been married nearly 6 years now.
So I’ve had a fatherly moment, but never a motherly moment to match that. I did help a young woman in the Ladies one day who was trying to get some stubborn stuff off of her hands. Otherwise not much for being motherly.
Amy
- The forum ‘General Chat “Life as it Goes On”’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments